Engagement help

[tigeraqua]

Hi everyone,

Last week, I got engaged to my boyfriend of 2 years. But my family and some of my friends are concerned for me because of the age gap (he's 18 years older than me, i'm 24). I completely understand why they are worried because, quite honestly, the age difference has been a concern for me too. But I really love my fiance, and I know he definitely loves me a lot too. I have know doubt that he will be a really good husband to me. Do you think I should let this relationship go, or should I continue and hope that, by the grace of God, everything will work out?

I'm so confused

[ladypeartree]

This is a bit like asking if you should like oranges or apples more...... ONLY YOU KNOW.

I married someone 15 years older than me ... it was a disaster NOT because of the age difference but because of the differences in our faith ( or on his part lack thereof ) and morals ( he saw no reason not to continue to have affairs ) amongst a lot of other things.

My youngest daughter is married to a man 12 years older than her and they couldnt be happier as a couple.

My oldest daughter is married to a man the same age as herself and it is a miracle they havnt murdered each other

The thing that is very telling is that YOU are worried about the age difference and basically if you were totally convinced that this IS the man God has picked out for you then you wouldnt even have thought of posting such a question.

[MorningGlory]

I'm of the same mind as Lady Pear Tree; if you were really convinced this man was your intended you wouldn't give even a passing thought to asking anyone else whether you should stay in the relationship. You also have to consider that, when you're his age now, he'll be 60 while you are still going to be fairly young. Health concerns enter into such a relatioship. Please pray about this and be SURE before you do anything....it's not only you who could get hurt here. What about HIM?

[nebula]

I would ask my family and friends how they would think/feel about the relationship if there was no age gap.

I had a co-worker who was in his upper 30's when he married a girl who is around 20. I thought he was nuts - until I got to know the girl and observed the two of them together. They are so perfectly matched for each other it's hysterical (in a good way). When they are together, you don't "notice" the age gap.

So that's why I would like to know how they assess your relationship apart from your ages.

As for you, it takes more than love for a relationship to work. Perfect example - Amy Grant recorded a song "That's what love is for, to help us through it." Well, obviously love failed because she divorced her husband and then married another man. Not to rag on Amy, but that's an example of what I speak. Like Pear mentioned, you need to be spiritually compatible, and that includes how you pursue the Lord not just that you are both believers. Marriage is like a 3-legged race. If your steps are not coordinated, you'll be tripping all over the place.

[Believer1997]

I am certainly in agreement that you and your future husband should be believers and dedicated

to serving God in your marriage. Are you and he Christian? That should be the critical

consideration, imo. I do not think that age is a stumbling block given that you have been

seeing each other for two years; however, if you are 'confused' or questioning your choice

based upon the age difference and your family/friends... perhaps you are bothered by it more than you thought.

In the past, age was not the consideration it is currently - it was commonplace for older men to

marry younger women (not so much older women marrying younger men - go figure).

I had a grandfather who was 34 years older than my grandmother ... they had 5 children and

he lived well into his late 90's.

You and your fiancee' are the only ones who can determine if your ideals in a marriage are the

same - regarding among other things - religion, children, etc.

Praying that you be guided by God in whatever His Will may be.

[Fez]

Hi everyone,

Last week, I got engaged to my boyfriend of 2 years. But my family and some of my friends are concerned for me because of the age gap (he's 18 years older than me, i'm 24). I completely understand why they are worried because, quite honestly, the age difference has been a concern for me too. But I really love my fiance, and I know he definitely loves me a lot too. I have know doubt that he will be a really good husband to me. Do you think I should let this relationship go, or should I continue and hope that, by the grace of God, everything will work out?

I'm so confused

Rth 4:13 So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son.

Rth 4:14 Then the women said to Naomi, "Blessed be the LORD, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel!

Go and read Ruth. I don't know if you are a believer or not, or if your boyfriend is. There are 15 years between me and South........

[Rick-Parker]

Have you two had pre-marital counseling? I think that would be important to ensure that you both were in the same place spiritually and also open up opportunities for you and your boyfriend to listen to the Holy Spirit.

[wyguy]

If you guys are in love - go for it.

I myself am looking for an older rich sugar-mama with a bad ticker...

[MorningGlory]

If you guys are in love - go for it.

I myself am looking for an older rich sugar-mama with a bad ticker...

I hear Madonna is available again......oh no; I think she's healthy though.

[Guest man]

I completely understand why they are worried because, quite honestly, the age difference has been a concern for me too.