People Don't really care

[taylor30]

I don't mean this to sound luke a poor me type of thing, but I do have some things I need to say.

Why are people so unloving? I have been alone for 10 years now. I am only 30. I am supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, and Christian Brothers around. I have NONE of it. I have tried more dates than I can count. I used to go to church, but people were more interested in mingling with friends than welcoming a stranger into fellowship. I can sit in a pew alone or stand in the back of the church the entire time without a single word being spoken to me. I obviously have stopped going to church. I am better off without that " type " of Christianity. I also have dated Christian women who ONLY cared about looks or money. The heart didn't matter. Even pastors didn't give me the time of day when I sought their help. They were always too busy to help a brother, or my problems were not important enough for their schedule.

I don't expect unbelievers to show love and compassion, but such things should never be among those who call themselves Christians. We are called to step out of our comfort zones to others. REMEMBER, Jesus didn't just sit down and wait for people to show up. He went out and sought the people wherever they might be. We need to change church. We are to be a light to the world, but I am looking and I see no lights.

[nebula]

I appreciate your loneliness, Taylor. I myself am no stranger to loneliness.

I can only encourage you with this - press into the Lord for fellowship. Yeah, I know it is not the same as physical companionship - I've cried the same thing over an over again. But if somehow through your isolation you can draw nearer to the Lord, you will find something precious that most Christians never know. But spending time with the Lord means shutting off all media (unless soft instrumental or worship music helps you focus), concentrating on Him, talking to Him and waiting for Him to respond - thoughts, images, impressions, feelings.

I hope you can try this.

And as for dating - the best thing to do is wait. Seek the Lord for a wife, and don't pursue companionship with any females without affirmation from the Lord. I'm not saying don't be friends. But as far as "dating", its' best to lay it aside. It may be that either you or her or both are not ready for each other. This is what happened to me - and I've had to wait a lot longer than you have to finally begin a relationship (and even no we are separated by distance and other issues preventing us from moving forward, but we have both learned to trust God's timing by now).

This is the best I can offer; I hope it helps somewhat.

[joi]

I have read so many posts on different board where Christians say this.

There are many reasons people are as they are. Some are naturally loner types, while others

are outgoing. Some are selfish while others are giving.

A pastor once said don't worry about finding the 'right' person. Concentrate on being the 'right' person - Spiritually. We are preparing to be with our Lord and we should prepare self accordingly. I know this is not what you want to hear, and is not entirely what you want, but there is wisdom in what he said.

When we get where we need to be in Christ, He gives us our needs - as He sees them, and even the desires of our heart.

Psalm 37

4 (H)Delight yourself in the LORD;

And He will (I)give you the desires of your heart.

5 (J)Commit your way to the LORD,

Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2037&version=KJV;NASB;NKJV

Some of us do not come across well in social situations, so a suggestion here, if this is your problem. Do some volunteer work. Working with people helps us make our self more readily

to others.

Loneliness is not a problem with just singles. It is often in married couples as well. I used to feel lonely all the time. Once I agreed with God that Jesus is my Savior and was indwelt with the Holy Spirit I never feel alone any more. I realize this is not the same as being lonely, as my husband was in the Military for many years and was deployed often. Not having him in the house with me made it seem rather empty, so I spent time with the kids at their home often.

This is a great lesson in the fact that things do not satisfy our needs. Often we strive for things and become collectors, but those come in as poor seconds compared to people. I do believe this is why the great commandment is to love.

I pray that whatever God sees as your current need be met in accordance with His grace, mercy and comfort to you, for Christ's sake.

[mizzdy]

I don't mean this to sound luke a poor me type of thing, but I do have some things I need to say.

Why are people so unloving? I have been alone for 10 years now. I am only 30. I am supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, and Christian Brothers around. I have NONE of it. I have tried more dates than I can count. I used to go to church, but people were more interested in mingling with friends than welcoming a stranger into fellowship. I can sit in a pew alone or stand in the back of the church the entire time without a single word being spoken to me. I obviously have stopped going to church. I am better off without that " type " of Christianity. I also have dated Christian women who ONLY cared about looks or money. The heart didn't matter. Even pastors didn't give me the time of day when I sought their help. They were always too busy to help a brother, or my problems were not important enough for their schedule.

I don't expect unbelievers to show love and compassion, but such things should never be among those who call themselves Christians. We are called to step out of our comfort zones to others. REMEMBER, Jesus didn't just sit down and wait for people to show up. He went out and sought the people wherever they might be. We need to change church. We are to be a light to the world, but I am looking and I see no lights.

Personally I think we need to change our own attitudes first its through us that His light shines. Remember also people are flesh and blood and will be prone to messing up sometimes often in fact, the body of believers are neither perfect or what we often think they should be. The word and idea of 'christianity' gets a rap these days for all kinds of things, often times I think we look for the negative instead of the positive simply because of bad press. I mean we get all kinds of people calling for some type of perfection and thats just not going to happen until He comes and changes us. We also can choose to sit in the pew or put ourselves out there within that body instead of complaining no one likes us or wants to be our friends, if after putting yourself out there and nothing happens find another body that does show His love and Spirit.

I also echo Nebula's post sometimes we seem to think we need something and push ourselves to find that perfect mate or friend when its not our timing that is important but His. Prayer is always the best way to go, talk to Him give Him your concerns, your problems and needs as well as wants and then trust Him, thats what faith is all about trusting that He knows better than we do.

shalom,

Mizz

[enoob57]

Loved one,

I would like to encourage you this way:

Christ came into the world like as we (birth but with God His Father)

so as to be tried and tempted in all points- yet without sin!

Here is His witness

Mt 11:28-30

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me

{His Word]

, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

NKJV

why the church is like it is and why people only look to their own things and why .... why.... why....???

It is why a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit, we know the why and it propelles our trust in

Christ so much further, so much so, that we are enabled toward His Spiritual Presence more soundly

than our physical complaints....

According to Daniel

Da 12:4

4 "But you, Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book until the time of the end; many shall run to and

fro, and knowledge shall increase."

NKJV

Da 12:9-10

9 And he said, "Go your way, Daniel, for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.

10 Many shall be purified, made white, and refined, but the wicked shall do wickedly; and none of the

wicked shall understand, but the wise shall understand.

NKJV

welcome to the end of times/days and of mankinds sins regime... Here is The Lords preparation for

for us to what these days will be like

2 Ti 3:1-7

3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves,

lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving,

unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty,

lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And

from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives

of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to

come to the knowledge of the truth.

AND-> as you have experienced the resulting truth of all this above this also below

Mt 24:9-14

9 "Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name's

sake. 10 And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. 11 Then many

false prophets will rise up and deceive many. 12 And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many

will grow cold. 13 But he who endures to the end shall be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be

preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.

NKJV

and by relating the truths above with what I am seeing in these last of days...

this belows increases the personal relationship of me and my Lord in Spiritual intimacy

Jn 15:15-17

15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called

you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me,

but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that

whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love

one another.

NKJV

This all above in truth forms this within my own heart and I hope also lightens the path for your own feet as well:

The world we are in is a loveless one and those who are unloving only practice hatred for love- without really understanding

why! I do! So I am responsible to love cause my friend and my Lord=Jesus has explained to me what I will face when I do

there are no suprises and it only confirms His Word to me that what I do 'IS' His will within me... I am to love without expecting

too much in return from those I am loving yet all I have to do is spiritually turn to Jesus and He will refill me to overflowing!

Love, Steven

[enoob57]

This is a great lesson in the fact that things do not satisfy our needs. Often we strive for things and become collectors, but those come in as poor seconds compared to people. I do believe this is why the great commandment is to love.

I pray that whatever God sees as your current need be met in accordance with His grace, mercy and comfort to you, for Christ's sake.

Love 'IS' The Lord 'IS' Love... Heaven to stand within GodLove's pure flow and not polluting it by being there... Love, Steven

[Guest yod]

I don't mean this to sound luke a poor me type of thing, but I do have some things I need to say.

Why are people so unloving? I have been alone for 10 years now. I am only 30. I am supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, and Christian Brothers around. I have NONE of it. I have tried more dates than I can count. I used to go to church, but people were more interested in mingling with friends than welcoming a stranger into fellowship. I can sit in a pew alone or stand in the back of the church the entire time without a single word being spoken to me. I obviously have stopped going to church. I am better off without that " type " of Christianity. I also have dated Christian women who ONLY cared about looks or money. The heart didn't matter. Even pastors didn't give me the time of day when I sought their help. They were always too busy to help a brother, or my problems were not important enough for their schedule.

I don't expect unbelievers to show love and compassion, but such things should never be among those who call themselves Christians. We are called to step out of our comfort zones to others. REMEMBER, Jesus didn't just sit down and wait for people to show up. He went out and sought the people wherever they might be. We need to change church. We are to be a light to the world, but I am looking and I see no lights.

First I want to start with the notion of what is "supposed" to be happening at your age. None of that comes without a lot of work, sweat, tears, and sacrifice.

Loneliness is such a bummer. It can zap you right into depression faster than anything. However, we don't have to take it sitting down!

It's hard for people to trust others nowadays.....can you blame them? It takes time AND effort to be a friend, which means there is also a cost for people to come near. The scriptures say that we should show ourselves to be friendly if we want friends. Since I don't know you, there are some questions I need to ask before I could help you.

Like:

What are you doing to cultivate friendship with people who don't know you? How much time are you willing to give them?

Do you ever volunteer to help others in need?

Are you a good listener?

How much time did you stick around at the churches you mention? How much did you commit to that community?

Do you ever discuss your loneliness with people who aren't already close to you? That will drive people away rather quickly, btw, because no one wants to hang out with Debbie Downer, ya know?

Without knowing the answers to these questions, we're all guessing in the dark. But one thing I've learned in life is that when you start helping others who can't pay you back....you will find life is rewarding and full of purpose. Friends will just "happen" then.

I suggest that you find a place where you can serve. You'll find friends then and there.

.

[Floatingaxe]

We are not called to be sponges, expecting people to be what we want them to be. People hurt us----even other believers, sometimes. But we are called to love others and to be what God calls us to be. We are called to be outward-focused, to see a need and fill it. If we are doing those things, we will be recompensed with people of integrity and value and lovingkindness in our lives. God will see to it.

So, no more complaining, but obey God, get back into the Lord's house, roll up the sleeves and get down to the business of serving Him by serving others.

See what El Roi, the God Who Sees, will do.

[He giveth more grace]

I don't mean this to sound like a poor me type of thing, but I do have some things I need to say.

Why are people so unloving? I have been alone for 10 years now. I am only 30. I am supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, and Christian Brothers around. I have NONE of it. I have tried more dates than I can count. I used to go to church, but people were more interested in mingling with friends than welcoming a stranger into fellowship. I can sit in a pew alone or stand in the back of the church the entire time without a single word being spoken to me. I obviously have stopped going to church. I am better off without that " type " of Christianity. I also have dated Christian women who ONLY cared about looks or money. The heart didn't matter. Even pastors didn't give me the time of day when I sought their help. They were always too busy to help a brother, or my problems were not important enough for their schedule.

I don't expect unbelievers to show love and compassion, but such things should never be among those who call themselves Christians. We are called to step out of our comfort zones to others. REMEMBER, Jesus didn't just sit down and wait for people to show up. He went out and sought the people wherever they might be. We need to change church. We are to be a light to the world, but I am looking and I see no lights.

Taylor, I know exactly how you feel, I have felt so alone in a large auditorim before, I've been there, believe me, some churches are as you have described.

I get back with you a little later, hope that is alright.

[Fez]

I don't mean this to sound luke a poor me type of thing, but I do have some things I need to say.

Why are people so unloving? I have been alone for 10 years now. I am only 30. I am supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, and Christian Brothers around. I have NONE of it. I have tried more dates than I can count. I used to go to church, but people were more interested in mingling with friends than welcoming a stranger into fellowship. I can sit in a pew alone or stand in the back of the church the entire time without a single word being spoken to me. I obviously have stopped going to church. I am better off without that " type " of Christianity. I also have dated Christian women who ONLY cared about looks or money. The heart didn't matter. Even pastors didn't give me the time of day when I sought their help. They were always too busy to help a brother, or my problems were not important enough for their schedule.

I don't expect unbelievers to show love and compassion, but such things should never be among those who call themselves Christians. We are called to step out of our comfort zones to others. REMEMBER, Jesus didn't just sit down and wait for people to show up. He went out and sought the people wherever they might be. We need to change church. We are to be a light to the world, but I am looking and I see no lights.

First I want to start with the notion of what is "supposed" to be happening at your age. None of that comes without a lot of work, sweat, tears, and sacrifice.

Loneliness is such a bummer. It can zap you right into depression faster than anything. However, we don't have to take it sitting down!

It's hard for people to trust others nowadays.....can you blame them? It takes time AND effort to be a friend, which means there is also a cost for people to come near. The scriptures say that we should show ourselves to be friendly if we want friends. Since I don't know you, there are some questions I need to ask before I could help you.

Like:

What are you doing to cultivate friendship with people who don't know you? How much time are you willing to give them?

Do you ever volunteer to help others in need?

Are you a good listener?

How much time did you stick around at the churches you mention? How much did you commit to that community?

Do you ever discuss your loneliness with people who aren't already close to you? That will drive people away rather quickly, btw, because no one wants to hang out with Debbie Downer, ya know?

Without knowing the answers to these questions, we're all guessing in the dark. But one thing I've learned in life is that when you start helping others who can't pay you back....you will find life is rewarding and full of purpose. Friends will just "happen" then.

I suggest that you find a place where you can serve. You'll find friends then and there.

What Yod said

Wise words. I encourage you to take heed of them.