maryanne Posted July 4, 2013 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/04/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted July 4, 2013 This may be kind of adult. If this is considered inappropriate, mods, please delete it, and I apologize. I don't want to offend anyone. I have been friends with this guy for over seven years now. After I was saved a couple years ago I stopped hanging out with him as much because he is not a Christian and does a lot of things I don't approve of. I just don't want the negative influence. I do however talk to him on the phone occasionally to touch base and ever once in a great while my husband and I will spend time with him. A couple of days ago my husband and I went fireworks shopping with him. On the way home we got stuck in traffic and he told me he wanted to show me a video he took on his phone. It was horrible and stomach churning. He had secretly taken video of this young woman, barely an adult, exposing herself and letting him touch her chest in exchange for an illegal substance. Honestly, I have no idea why he showed me this. He knew I would disapprove of something like that. I stared in disbelief for a brief moment and then told him I don't want to see crap like that. Then he told me he was keeping the video in case she started drama with him. I was speechless for the rest of the trip home. My problem is not with what to do about him. This was the final straw and I will NOT be speaking to him anymore. My problem is that I feel like I should contact this woman and tell her what he has done, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not. I'm afraid for one, that she won't believe me. I have met her once before and she later told my former old friend that she didn't like me. Two, I'm afraid of how he will react when he finds out I said something. My husband says it will only cause problems if I say something to her, but I feel guilty knowing this and not saying something. I feel so bad for her. She is 19 years old, had a horrible childhood where she was abused by her father and she has drug problems. My former friend is 31 years old and is taking advantage of the poor girl. The one thing I remember about the video is the sad look on her face. I don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFP Posted July 4, 2013 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 732 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 91 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/31/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/24/1969 Share Posted July 4, 2013 I think as badly as you feel, you cannot help in this situation by exposing it or otherwise. The woman is old enough to know what she is doing, and is going through the age where she may have to learn by the school of hard knocks. Yes, many of us are victimized in our lives, but what difference do you really think you can make by making her aware that he has this video? Is it going to help her in any way? Probably not, unfortunately, the damage is done already, and whether or not you get involved it will damage her either today or next week or next year. And it may never damage her, who knows. Adults in the drug lifestyle do many things like that...what I would do is start seriously praying for this woman that she come to know the Lord, and that His will be done in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissPlaced_56 Posted July 4, 2013 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 129 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 757 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 155 Days Won: 1 Joined: 03/25/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/24/1957 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Maryanne, The only advice i can give you is simply this dear sister.... The "Guilt" that you feel is "False Guilty" and not yours to carry..... Listen to your husband. Pray for these people, Prayer is or should be the first line of defense,OUR LORD can accomplish what we can't and when HE'S done both of their lives will be changed forever!!! If you get in the way, this will only complicate things, GBU Dear Sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appy Posted July 4, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 23 Topic Count: 133 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 2,864 Content Per Day: 0.61 Reputation: 2,596 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted July 4, 2013 Do NOT say anything about the video or what the friend said to you about her. Since she doesn’t like you to start with, she will be upset with you for telling her and will be wondering what you had to gain by telling her. As the other respondents have said, all you can do is pray for both of them to experience God’s plan of salvation. Pointing out an error to someone, only makes the person feel attacked and angry We can’t make people believe as we do, or get them to recognize the error in their lives, but we can share with others how much God loves us and what God has done for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_S Posted July 4, 2013 Group: Servant Followers: 25 Topic Count: 275 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 5,208 Content Per Day: 0.99 Reputation: 1,893 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/02/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted July 4, 2013 I would honestly leave this one alone. Pray for them both, that's really all you can do. She knows what she did and she knows that he has video of it. She doesn't need to be reminded of that. Reminding her of it isn't going to get the video away from him anyway and if she consented to it and she's an adult then nothing can be done. I'd give this one to God and hope that these two find Him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maryanne Posted July 5, 2013 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/04/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 5, 2013 You are all right. Thanks for the advice. I'm not going to say anything and I'll be praying for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted July 5, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,993 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,691 Content Per Day: 11.76 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted July 5, 2013 I would honestly leave this one alone. Pray for them both, that's really all you can do. She knows what she did and she knows that he has video of it. She doesn't need to be reminded of that. Reminding her of it isn't going to get the video away from him anyway and if she consented to it and she's an adult then nothing can be done. I'd give this one to God and hope that these two find Him. Good advise.I would say the same.† Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Patriot21 Posted July 5, 2013 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 27 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 15,714 Content Per Day: 2.45 Reputation: 8,535 Days Won: 39 Joined: 10/25/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/27/1985 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Your dealing with "illegal substances" and possible illegal pornagraphy here. Its a really touchy line. If you contact that person, it could get really messy, really fast. Way I see it, you only have two options, and going to that girl and telling her what he did isn't one of them-it will just make things messy. First, is distance yourself from the entire situation-break contact, and dont contact them again-ever, and refuse contact from him. The other, is contact the police, and let them sort it out. Hes obviously taking advantage of young women using drugs (im assuming thats what your talking about) and what if the next girl he takes advantage of, is underage? If you mix yourself into it, without telling the cops, and the cops get involved from someone else calling, things can get really complicated really fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted July 5, 2013 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 599 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,260 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,988 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted July 5, 2013 i can't tell you what to do, for we are all different, but if i were in your place, Id rat the guy out over the illegal substance to the authorities. And would not even feel bad about it. people around me know I have a low to no toleration concerning illegal drugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fez Posted July 5, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 683 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 11,128 Content Per Day: 1.99 Reputation: 1,352 Days Won: 54 Joined: 02/03/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/07/1952 Share Posted July 5, 2013 i can't tell you what to do, for we are all different, but if i were in your place, Id rat the guy out over the illegal substance to the authorities. And would not even feel bad about it. people around me know I have a low to no toleration concerning illegal drugs. I was about to comment the same way. You are now an accomplice (in my country at least). From a scriptural viewpoint ask yourself if Jesus would walk away from drug and sexual abuse? BUT. You are the one at the front of this problem, not any of us, and it is you who has to live with the consequences either way. I will pray for you, and for guidance and strength. God Bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts