Immodesty and Lust - From a Man's Perspective

[GoldenEagle]

Good points by every one. This topic reminds me of: Mat 15:11  Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

So is it what goes into the eye that defiles a man or what is in him that is seeing? On the flip side of the coin we should'nt cause each other to stumble and set stumbling blocks before each other. So while a spiritually mature man might be able to not lust after a woman dressed immodestly, I think a sister should take that into account. It can cause spiritually weaker men & brothers to have lustful desires arise. It goes both ways though, men should dress modestly as well I think. Not wear tight shirts and walk around flexing and strutting all over the place inciting women to have lustful thoughts.

I agree it is a heart issue... And also an issue of discipline - eyes, mind, body.

 

I think too motivation comes into play Meta. Why are we dressing the way we're dressing?

[GoldenEagle]

Male sexuality is much more visually oriented than is female sexuality (of course we are speaking in generalities here, but without generalities conversation becomes impossible!).  Realizing this is a weakness for almost any normal man, Christian women should listen the the Scriptural exhortations on dress:  "Let the women dress 'shame-facedly'...."  and out of Christian Charity should not consider doing ANYTHING which may cause a weaker Christian to stumble.

 

Interesting. So would you include public breastfeeding into this?

What about wearing swimwear?

 

Curious.

 

God bless,

GE

[nebula]

Male sexuality is much more visually oriented than is female sexuality (of course we are speaking in generalities here, but without generalities conversation becomes impossible!).  Realizing this is a weakness for almost any normal man, Christian women should listen the the Scriptural exhortations on dress:  "Let the women dress 'shame-facedly'...."  and out of Christian Charity should not consider doing ANYTHING which may cause a weaker Christian to stumble.

 

The article is not denying this aspect of things, though.The first part of it affirms the need for women to dress appropriately.

[GoldenEagle]

 

Male sexuality is much more visually oriented than is female sexuality (of course we are speaking in generalities here, but without generalities conversation becomes impossible!).  Realizing this is a weakness for almost any normal man, Christian women should listen the the Scriptural exhortations on dress:  "Let the women dress 'shame-facedly'...."  and out of Christian Charity should not consider doing ANYTHING which may cause a weaker Christian to stumble.

 

The article is not denying this aspect of things, though.The first part of it affirms the need for women to dress appropriately.

 

 

 

Yes! Here's the introduction to the article written by Ike in the OP.

 

Friends, do I have a treat for you! Only rarely has my husband, Ike, written on my blog, but today I have asked him to weigh in. He’s here to offer his perspective on a topic about which he knows much more than I: male lust.

 

One of the reasons I asked Ike to address this topic is that I fear Christians have a terribly low view of men. When it comes to male lust, men come off sounding like animals. Whenever I hear that “men cannot help themselves,” I also hear this: the resurrection is powerless to heal the brokenness of sin, and depravity ultimately trumps renewal.

 

I am not satisfied with this narrative. We need to expect more from men, and from Christ. We women need a better understanding of male lust in relation to the cross, and Ike’s words have really helped me in that regard. As you read, I hope he will encourage you too.

Here’s Ike….

 

[MorningGlory]

Don't get me started about the way women dress.Some of them are asking for a real disaster.Everything is hanging out.Everywhere you look.Women are just advertising.LOOK AT ME!!!I beg your pardon Butero but if women would dress more appropriately men would not have all those body parts to gawk at.It is totally obnoxious.

 

I have to agree, BoPeep.  I'm at work right now and pass by one woman all day long; every day it's a low cut blouse, tight pants or skirt and heavy makeup.  Even those of us who don't dress provocatively get the once over after the men hang out at her desk for a few minutes.  I pity any woman whose feeling of self worth is so minimal as to have to flaunt their body parts to feel of value.  But, regardless of the way she or any other woman dresses, men are still responsible for their actions when confronted by immodesty or, in some cases, downright lewdness.

[revolutionist90]

I see that both sides need to equally work together. The way that some women (even teenagers) dress is for the men to stare and look. They are ASKING for attention, they want men to lust. In this day a lusting man is good because it is suppose to confirm a woman's sexuality and that she is beautiful. That desire is very twisted but lust is good in today's world. How many books speak of nothing but lust and carnal desires like Twilight or 50 shades of grey? How many advertisements show almost nudity (especially in swimsuit stores) and promiscuity? Little boys are bombarded with such views at an early age and due to the increase of pro-pornography advertisements (mostly for men) it is not seen as "manly" or "good" to not look at a woman when she decides to where a total of 4 inches of fabric on her body. It is also a neurological fact that man are more visual and are spacial oriented which is why they are better with directions/hunting etc. At the same time though a person cannot cause the other to sin. There needs to be encouragement in that when a man see's a woman he actually looks away and gives her no recognition. His fight with his carnal desires start then and he needs to learn not to give in. It is difficult but strength from other men definitely makes it possible. He not only looks away for his own betterment but because he wants to respect the woman even at times when she does not respect herself- and that is by not falling into lust and ogling her. 

 

Many women hate the claim that her body can cause men to lust and that they should just look away ( even though they half desire the lust for self-esteem). I would wage that many women understand their power over men because it is glorified in the media as natural and good. They simply do not want to resolve the power so they choose to fain ignorance and become stubborn when such a power is called out.  Once that power is identified as being something bad many are bristled (as with all sins when they are called out) since it is glorified as being something that all women should have and is thus good. But at the core the women should dress modestly. At best their chest (including cleavage), torso and pelvic area covered (no pants that can double as underwear). I cannot tell you how many tweens have their entire bottom out in shorts. Not only is modesty an illustration of one's own self-respect but also understanding of the realness of lust. 

 

So a man can look away but a woman can also dress appropriately. Both sides can do something and it is not up to one. By making the statement that men are just lustful creatures and can't help themselves the person is stating that God cannot even intervene to help men with their sins, it is the women to control. But making the statement that men should just look away ignores the neurological components that men are more visual and generally more more sensitive to sexual stimulation (testosterone is a big factor) thus lust can be something that some men continue to grapple. We all have sinned but I do think some have one sin that they suffer from most whether that is lust, pride, envy or any others. 

[missmuffet]

 

Don't get me started about the way women dress.Some of them are asking for a real disaster.Everything is hanging out.Everywhere you look.Women are just advertising.LOOK AT ME!!!I beg your pardon Butero but if women would dress more appropriately men would not have all those body parts to gawk at.It is totally obnoxious.

 

Yet ultimately aren't we each accountable for our own actions and thoughts?

 

I cannot control how people around me dress. I can control (with the help of the Holy Spirit) how I react to people around me, what I do, and my thoughts. Would you agree?

God bless,

GE

 

GE,it is wrong for a woman to tempt a man.By dressing inappropriately and having alot of the body exposed .And on purpose.This is going to be a sensative subject because their are alot of women out there not dressed as God would want her to dress.And that is even  women in the Church.It is wrong.No you can not control the way women around you dress but they can.Yes,if you are subjected to this sinful display then you do have an obligation to God to look the other way.But you are human.

[other one]

if seeing someone just makes me dream of my wife, is it a bad thing....

[Sevenseas]

 

 

Don't get me started about the way women dress.Some of them are asking for a real disaster.Everything is hanging out.Everywhere you look.Women are just advertising.LOOK AT ME!!!I beg your pardon Butero but if women would dress more appropriately men would not have all those body parts to gawk at.It is totally obnoxious.

 

Yet ultimately aren't we each accountable for our own actions and thoughts?

 

I cannot control how people around me dress. I can control (with the help of the Holy Spirit) how I react to people around me, what I do, and my thoughts. Would you agree?

God bless,

GE

 

GE,it is wrong for a woman to tempt a man.By dressing inappropriately and having alot of the body exposed .And on purpose.This is going to be a sensative subject because their are alot of women out there not dressed as God would want her to dress.And that is even  women in the Church.It is wrong.No you can not control the way women around you dress but they can.Yes,if you are subjected to this sinful display then you do have an obligation to God to look the other way.But you are human.

 

 

 

BoPeep...this might be my only post in this thread.  1.  You cannot control how another dresses and so it is no use to be upset about it

                                                                                 2.  If this is a hot button issue for you, I would, respectfully, suggest you pray about it and pray for those women....it may help with some of that apparent anger

                                                                                 3.  And this is VERY important:  a good looking woman often does not even have to dress in a revealing way to have men lust after her, whistle after her,

                                                                                     make comments to her, make inappropriate comments to her, touch her inappropriately, and just plain stare at her and make her uncomfortable

 

The ugly truth is that many young women...young teenagers in school even...dress like $10.00 w----s.  They degrade themselves and cheapen their worth....many have low self esteem and draw attention

in a manner that is bound to get attention...many are from broken homes or have had an absent father and desire male attention.

 

Let's not condemn other women, but take an objective look if possible and try to see the whole picture and not just what bothers us personally.

 

Respectfully and thanks.  As I said, this may (may, maybe) my only post, so please do not be offended if I do not answer  if you respond to this post.  I'm just throwing this out there for some thought

[MorningGlory]

if seeing someone just makes me dream of my wife, is it a bad thing....

 

No; you two are married.  Totally different.