Husband wants to move out but stay together - again

[RustyAngeL]

This sounds like a disturbed man to me.  I am not the man's judge but I have to ask too is there really a faith in Christ?  I do not think a man that chooses to live with him mother rather then his wife is even close to being ready for a  marriage.  Seek God, He has all your answers and pray this man home not only to you but to His savior.

[ShannK]

Thank you Rusty, I am going to be doing a lot of praying and seeking God. I know thats the right thing to do even though I'm so unsure about everything else right now and have been questioning everything I thought I believed. Im so tired of it all. I can't even think straight after talking to him sometimes. He has a way of turning things around and then I am just tired and confused and want the conversation to end. - he does have a good side but it just doesn't last.

[WillfromTexas]

Hire a private eye when he does one of his move out stints.  Maybe I'm just a suspicious person but this behavior sounds very strange and sounds like another woman.

[kwikphilly]

Blessings Sister,

     As I was reading all the posts I was thinking,"Nah,hmm,nope,ummm''and then WHAM...I was thinking all along the same as Will....ShannK,I do not know the mans heart & I am not going to sit here & judge His Faith and I certainly am not about to tell you that he is not able to change but it is pretty obvious that he wants his cake and eat it too(& you are allowing it-no disrespect to you)

    Something is going on that has his attention on the weekends as you stated he is not around some weekends,does he drink,do drugs,sees other women.......as a woman,whether in denial or not you must have a suspicion or an incling as to what is really going on with him.....the guilty party always seems to point the finger at the other person to take the focus off themselves,picking fights is an old story as  the excuse for leaving and verbally abusive spouses commonly have underlying issues and need counseling and are controlling(this leads me to believe he has not surrendered to Christ because of his dominant carnal behavior-but as I said,I cannot make that claim)

     Seeking Gods direction is most important...the one reason I have said all I have is from experience(it all rings a bell-lol)-In my heart of hearts I already knew Gods will but I didn't really like it,when I finally got on my knees & vowed I would follow wherever He lead & for His Will and Divine intervention to be done....oooh,you would not believe the fireworks but God worked it all out for my good & I give Him the Glory........my ex's mistress was drugs,steroids & deep emotional problems,they were not my problem & God did not choose Him for me,I did....................Only you know whether or not this person is who God has for you,it is between you & Abba.You have alot of decisions to make & discuss with the Lord but allowing this swinging door relationship is not one of them...I am praying for you,in Jesus Name that you receive the Wisdom & direction of the Holy Spirit

                                                                                                                               With love,in Christ-Kwik

[other one]

Bopeep, That's one place where I have been so confused. I don't understand how or why he does what he does. Or how he can be a christian and not walk in love. Hes often critical and negative about people. Sometimes it's really like he's two different people. He can be positive and sweet and things can be great but then the next week he may be negative withdrawn and hateful and not a thing has changed to cause it. - I am and have been praying.

that is quite possible that he really is two people....   and it's not as uncommon as most would think.  if so, it's seldom simple to fix unless the person can be made aware of it and wants to fix it..

[ShannK]

Thank you for all your advice! It helps so much to hear different opinions. I think I accidentally left out an important bit of information, though. On the weekends he stays at his parents house an hour and a half away to see his kids who live near there. Our families haven't blended well but that could be a post in itself. there are a lot of things wrong. Kwik, you said something interesting. Only I can decide if he is the one God has for me - or something like that. Do you believe it's ok to end a marriage if you believe it was a mistake and God didn't really put you together but you put yourselves together? Or, like my husband says, according to God's Word there's no excuse for not sticking it out except infidelity? We talked last night and we have decided we are either going to end our marriage and try to remain friends or try to stay married but live separately. He can't seem to handle a busy household and I have problems with some of his attitudes etc... But if we didn't have to live together maybe things would eventually work out? My real problem right now I think is trying to figure out if he is really that bad of a communicator - he often says I misunderstood him - and just immature - or if he's purposely misleading me. if its the former I feel like there's hope as God works in our lives. Thank you for praying for me! I really need wisdom and discernment. I am very confused. I know you can only offer opinions based on what I've told you but it really helps to talk this out.

[ncy]

Although husbands and wives are allowed to separate for a period of time, it's generally not a good sign.  The emotional abuse you're experiencing is also not good.  God allows for divorces or separation in the case of abuse (and yes, verbal/emotional/psychological abuse is abuse as well) so take care of yourself and your kids.  See a counselor or a pastor, even if you have to go alone, and get advice.  I hope everything turns out well for you.