fighting sin

[Guest Falling]

I need some help, I have had a wonderful relationship with God for over 20 years and I am married, eleven years now. I have not had an easy life, and all the pain helped me be closer to God. Now I am facing something different and I feel powerless.

I have a friend who is also a Christian. He is struggling because we are so very close and now it is becoming obvious that we really love each other. I can't explain it. I never have let anything come between me and doing the right thing, but I am so happy and complete when we are together I am confused. Why doesn't my husband make me that happy, why doesn't the fear of God make these feelings go away.

And number one---if I feel this way is it the same sin as doing something about it?

[apothanein kerdos]

Get away from that friend and get you and your husband into some Christian help.

[Can Do (Phil 4:13)]

Get away from that friend and get you and your husband into some Christian help.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Falling, what you are feeling for this friend is only an illusion. Please trust me, I've been there only a little over a year ago. I met someone and I thought we had it made. He made me laugh, he was thoughtful and kind. He romanced me perfectly, but then the Lord started speaking to my heart. He (the Lord) had been speaking ever since I started flirting, but I didn't want to listen. A wake up call came when I realized how much I would lose if I continued. The Lord is touching your heart like He touched mine. Sometimes you've got to dig through a lot of dirt before you find Gold honey, and the Gold is in your husbands heart and you know it.

Every relationship goes through a 'honeymoon' period and it doesn't matter if your friend is male or female, it's still the same. Only your husband can offer you what a husband is meant to. When you were married you became ONE BODY and you cannot separate from that. If you do you risk infection from the wound (your life being separated from God, and to be honest, that stinks). Only God can give you true fullfillment, but you must work WITH your husband to attain this.

Since my husband and I work together in the Lord to make our marriage work, we have been experiencing temptation and hardship. Together my husband and I can get through it, even though satan desires to divide that which God in His loving wisdom has brought together. Please don't give up your husband for temptation. It is SO NOT WORTH IT. You can have joy in your marriage, but it does take time, effort and prayer. Only my husband can make me laugh the way I do, only my husbands face delights me in the morning, only my husband knows my body better than anyone. I wouldn't trade THAT for anything or anyone because God has brought us together and I am not going to let any man or woman put it asunder. Neither should you.

YSIC

Faithie

Edited January 12, 2005 by Can Do (Phil 4:13)

[ayin jade]

I agree with what has been said so far.

Flee temptation. You have made the committment to your spouse. For better or worse, you cannot just discard that because of an attachment to another person. Completely cut off ties to that other person and place your focus on the Lord and on your spouse. Im sorry if the words seem to be harsh.

[other one]

If you can find one of these conferences to attend, you most likely will find the anwers to your questions. My wife and I have attended one weekend and it changed our relationship for the good, and we had been married for 20+ years and I din't think we were having any problems at all. We both discovered some little nagging things that were pushing us down the path to where you are now, and didn't even realize we had any problem at all.

It made for a much better relationship between us and I think it would be good for you also.

http://www.familylife.com/conferences/marriage.asp

[Guest Falling]

Thanks everyone I appreciate you taking the time and not being too harsh, I feel enough conviction on my own.

I wish I could feel strong enough when I am around him.

I did tell him today that I needed God more than I needed him even if me and my husband aren't perfect I don't want to go to Hell.

He said that he doesn't feel as convicted and can't deny his feelings for me, honestly neither can I

So I am supposed to just love him and run away from him at the same time?

He doesn't want to break up my marriage or his so I know this is temporary, I guess part of me just wants to enjoy it while it lasts.

but the convictions aren't enjoyable , I can't pray when I slip up But I don't know how to ask forgiveness for something I enjoy.

[angels4u]

Hi Falling,

I know that you know what is the right thing to do.its either you do what YOU want or what God wants you to do.

If you love the Lord then you choose to live by His rules, and believe me they are for your own good

We can all make misstakes but please break this friendship up.

How would you feel if your husband commited adultery?

[Dad Ernie]

but the convictions aren't enjoyable , I can't pray when I slip up But I don't know how to ask forgiveness for something I enjoy.

Greetings Falling,

I suppose many of us here have been in your shoes at one time or another. It is not a fun place to be. But on looking back on those times, it is like any other "sin" that we enjoy, bad habits, rebellion of one sort or another, pride, etc, etc. I suppose the "rich man" parable is another good example. He loved his money more than He did Christ. Sometimes I get a bit melancholic over some of my past. All I can do is take it to the Lord and get my mind situated on Him. It passes, but that isn't fun either.

You are doing right to examine yourself and trying to put this situation aside, but you will only be successful if you are determined to follow the Lord instead of your flesh. Don't give up, try to avoid all exposure to this other person, it will just make matters worse. My heart and prayers go out for you.

Blessings,

Dad Ernie

[Guest Falling]

I know what I have to do, but it is sooo hard I never understood why people who screw up there lives so bad before, now I understand how tempting it can be.

I can't stop crying

I feel like I am giving up on ever being happy again, Can I feel God's love again after this blunder, I don't know if I can go back.

I can't get away from this person it is a two person team until Fall and I am scared of how to do it.

I keep trying though and I talk about faith every day but I have had days I gave in and even persued the matter myself, he is not all to blame. I have sent mixed signals about my intentions

I really am glad you guys are here cause I just can't talk to my husband about this he is a good man and he would be crushed

I just wish I could turn these feelings off. I want to do the right thing I really do, God has carried me through soo much and I miss my faith. I feel like I chose my body over my soul and now I won't have anything

[ayin jade]

A two person team? Like at work?

Sad reality, you need to get away from this completely. You are not strong enough, per your words, to stop feeling attracted to him when you are around him. Whatever it takes, your marriage is more important. Flee from this temptation. Make that solid commitment to your husband. You have wronged him in this and you need to make it right, but fleeing the temptation.

Despite my strong words, I do understand how hard this is. I also know that once you have commited to your marraige again, and cut off all contact with this guy, the situation will begin to improve. But you need to make that decision to stay with your marriage, or not.