Photograph on my son's phone

[Shy Christian]

Yes, he does live at home.

 

And as far as the other comment of me snooping, no I wasn't.  We had just been on an outing the day before where he took pictures and I just wanted to look at those.

[Guest LadyC]

riverwalker is right though... even if the snooping comment was offensive to ya. your son is an adult. and like it or not, his life is not going to be an open book where you are concerned. it's awesome that you have a good kid and that you can trust him, but if you make the mistake of thinking he'd never do anything you aren't aware of or would approve of, you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt.

 

when you were 20, did your mom know all the details of your life? of course not! and that's the way it should have been then, and the way it must be now. if you knew everything about your son, then that would be a very twisted and unhealthy relationship. 

 

understand that your house rules do not extend to his cell phone and private communications. it would be nice if they did, but unless you are paying for the cell phone (or his computer and other things), then you really can't control what he does on those devices. his respect for you should extend to not showing you those things. you might want to ask him next time you want to browse through the images on his phone.

[CRM]

Raising kids is one of the hardest tasks there is.  Go slowly and practice forgiveness on every hand.

[Shy Christian]

So it's five months later....and my son still hasn't been in any trouble.  However, I had to use his phone the other day and found more texts he is sending out with a photo of him (making rude gesture).  There was also very ungentlemanly language.  We have limited texts on our phone plan and he's wasting them on garbage.  It actually made me sick to my stomach.  I told my friend and she said swearing is no big deal (although she lives in a family of filth mouths - we're not like that).  Should I tell him that I don't like it or just let him do what he wants?  

[Matthew T.]

If you have a close relationship to your son, ask him why he acts that way. See what he says. Tell him that everything a person does is for a reason. We do nothing good or bad without a motivation to do so.

 

Is your son still in school?

[Shy Christian]

He graduated years ago.  Yes, we are very close, and I hate to see more "worldly" people have a bad influence on him.

Edited June 12, 2015 by Shy Christian

[Matthew T.]

I'm sorry if these questions seem personal, as they are, but I have a reason for asking.

 

Is your son handicapped? And does his father live with you two?

[Shy Christian]

He is not handicapped.

 

I divorced his father when he was 11.  He passed away several years ago.

[Estrella]

Don't get me wrong, Shy but i feel you are being too overprotective. And a bit taken aback n disturbed when you label others as "worldly" people who gives bad influence over your son and labeling others as "filth mouths"..."we are not like that". I don't find that a very good example being set for your son when u label others in demeaning way. While it is good that you bring up your child in the correct path, i feel that you are trying to control his friends either. Sorry i have seen many parents do this mistake and their child turn up as not what they have expected. Now, if you aren't happy with what you see, perhaps you should discuss with him, which i see that you did and he has made it clear. You could explain to him the repercussion of these images too if you like. Plus,if he has not brought any trouble then it is wise to take his word. But please don't try to " protect" him too much. Instead guide him into the world and how to overcome them. Not pull him out in a different direction. Balance is vital. Just my thoughts.

[Matthew T.]

Then what I would personally suggest? Is that you and your son together both seek out some good, gifted, Christian life counseling, and it has nothing to do with the photographs or texts. I'm not insinuating that either of you are in any kind of error. Many of us do well by finding wisdom for every day life. I think you two just have issues more pressing than the photo's or the texts... Both of you could "possibly" need a little counseling in wisdom. I'm not saying you're sick or that you're either one doing anything terribly wrong...NOTHING like that. I just think you would benefit from someone wise in just dealing with life issues in general. We ALL benefit from such counsel. And being that your husband is no longer with you, a professional CHRISTIAN counselor with the wisdom he/she would have for you both, would be a great asset to you.