young father, husband seeking advice.

[SueZQ]

Hello and Welcome to Worthy!

[Proof]

I had my oldest daughter when I was 22. She was not planned. (she is 10 now) Even at 22 I was not ready. I felt I wasn't ready to be a father. Soon, my second daughter arrived. By then, I thought I had the father thing down. I now have 4 kids. And the mother of my children and I are now divorced. Not a day goes by that I don't sit and think and wonder if I'm being the best father I could be. I don't feel this is a bad as it causes me to always search to be a better father to my kids. I think of it now as continuous improvement. This isn't a bad thing, at all. Keep doing your best. As the father of 3 little girls, (I had a boy in there, hence the 4) I will always feel that no man will ever measure up to my expectations of what I feel my daughters deserve. But I know in my heart that I am just being picky because I love my little girls and some day, if I have raised them right, they will find a good man and I will approve of him. If your parents and her parents are being overbearing and overly critical it is because you two are so young. They know what it takes to be a parent and they just want you to be prepared.

So far, it sounds like you are doing everything you can. You are working to provide for your family. Keep your eyes on Christ. You cant lose with Him in your corner. Even when earthly fathers don't approve, your heavenly father will. He loves you unconditionally and all you have to do is follow His will. He will carry you through these hard times. Stay strong in the Lord. You are both very young. You have a lot of life ahead of you and still a lot of changes to come. But keep your heart focused. Don't lose faith. Don't lose each other. I pray for you.

 

God Bless,

 

Proof

Edited April 26, 2015 by Proof

[jasper32]

Thank you for all the prayers. That totally makes sense and I pray for you and your own family. I think we may wait a few yrs now before having more children. My dad and her dad are both older, old school personalities, type a. Hard to please, but once you do have their approval,you will never lose it. They know I work hard as a young teen husband and father, and my wife is the same. They are just overprotective. My lil sister is 8, and absolutely adores my wife and is so good with my daughter, I hope she doesn't try the same things we did, or our dughter and unborn child. We try to raise her in christ as much as we can.

[jasper32]

I think maybe next year after this baby is born, and I turn 18, and she 15, I think we may move out and try to find a place of our own rather than her parents garage apartment. I'd like to build us a small house in a couple yrs after save money. I built my lil daddy's girl a big play house:)

[jasper32]

We won't ever lose each other.

[OneLight]

I think maybe next year after this baby is born, and I turn 18, and she 15, I think we may move out and try to find a place of our own rather than her parents garage apartment. I'd like to build us a small house in a couple yrs after save money. I built my lil daddy's girl a big play house:)

A couple of things here, if I may.

 

First, put God in the center of your marriage.  By doing so, He will show you how to grow into the father/husband you should be, and your young bride will feel the witness of Him in your marriage and stop fretting.

 

Secondly, if her parents are willing to help out by giving you shelter, even if it is at a price, don't throw that away.  The cost of an apartment will hinder your goal of building your own house.  Apartments are very expensive.  If there is a Habitat for Humanity in your area, look into them.  That is how I was able to own my own home.  The cost of a house through them is only what it cost them to build it, no fee for the labor.  That alone cuts the monthly payments in half, if not more.

 

Last, I don't think anyone is truly ready to have a child.  This is why having faith in Him is so important.  I had 5 of my own, and 4 grandchildren.  Each one of these precious children are a blessing, though they all provided different challenges.  As a parent, you will be continually learning and changing, as you will as a husband.  Accept change and do not become one of those who turn into a "Because I said so ... Do as I say" kind of people.  A family needs true communication and involvement.  Remember, your wife is a helpmate taken from the side of man to bean  equal, not from the head to be above you or from your feet to be below you.  God has placed the responsibility on man as a head of the household, but don't let that power go to your head.  A true leader leads by example, not by command.

[alien224]

God bless you and your family. You are in my prayers.

[jasper32]

Keeping christ at the center is first and foremost. We do love rather frugal right now and manage our money. My wife handles our finances and grocery shops for our family with our moms. Her mom taught her how to run a household. She's very smart. We only have one car right now, my work truvk since she is still a couple yrs from driving, no car payment. My dream has always been to build our home myself. My father and father in law have taught me and my older brother in law everything we know bout the trades in construction, electric, splumbing, etc since we were lil boys. He is a supervisor now and I likely will be in a couple yrs. We are saving money and playing it smart which will let my wife continue to be a stay at home mom. I hope to someday have a lil boy of my own to teach my trade, if not this maybe in a few yrs. I pray that everyone's family may be blessed through christ and in my prayers. My beautiful lil girl and young wife and unborn child are my whole world and what I work so hard for.

[B3L13v3R]

Welcome jasper32
Praying!

Are you both born again in Christ Jesus?
It would seem so by what you have said, but just wanting to clarify.
And if so, did you both repent of the sin of fornication before God?

The wonderful thing about repentance, is it puts us back in right standing with God!

If you all have done so, great! In hopes that you and your young wife look to love the Lord and to keep God first in everything.
In good days, bad days, and everything else in between

Mar 12:30-31
(30)  And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.
(31)  And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

 Read the Bible regularly and prayerfully together in it's entirety as a family.

Along the way, consider reading the Proverbs each day for a year.
There are 31 chapters in the Proverbs, and 31 or less days in every month.
Whatever day it is, consider prayerfully reading that chapter for the day.
I did this for daily for a year and still often refer back to them.
They instruct the Christian much on how to live on this side of life.

Proverbs chapter 31: verses 10-31 mentions how a godly woman should live.

There is something there for the Christian at every level of understanding!

Pro 1:2-7
(2)  To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding;
(3)  To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity;
(4)  To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.
(5)  A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:
(6)  To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.
(7)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.


The below applies to a Born Again Christian couple in any marriage:

As a young wife, look to submit to your husband, as unto the Lord.
In the proper context of any Biblical marriage, it means for the wife to submit to the husband, as he himself follows Christ.
This does not make you a door mat as many false teachers claim. It does not mean if he tells you to jump off a cliff you do so...

Eph 5:22-24
(22)  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
(23)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
(24)  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

As a young husband, look to love your wife as Christ loved (and died for) the church.
As you both grow in Christ, look to be renewed in your minds by the cleansing and washing of the water by His Word. (Prayerfully reading, understanding, knowing God through His Word the Bible.)

Eph 5:25-30
(25)  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
(26)  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
(27)  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
(28)  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
(29)  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
(30)  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Partial Quote post #18 jasper32: "I hope she doesn't try the same things we did, or our daughter and unborn child. We try to raise her in Christ as much as we can."

Keep them in prayer, look to raise them to God and His glory, and they will be unlikely to follow.

Pro 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

[angels4u]

I just have a question. Maybe i shouldn't be posting this considering my families situation, but I just wanted some godly advice from some Christian strangers. I grew up in a small southern town. My family was always extremely good friends with our neighbors. We did everything together as friends. They were and are like family. I grew up with daughter who is almost three years younger than me. I had always viewed her as like my lil sister and was like a lil brother to her older brother who is 4 yrs older than me and my lil sister was like a lil sister to this girl, my friend a few yrs younger than me. One big happy family. She blossomed into a very pretty young petite girl, and when she turned 12, she asked me to be her boyfriend, and never seen a girl so beautiful especially when she dressed up for church in her dresses. Well she told me one day she saw her big brother being together with his girlfriend and thought we should make love together up in her tree house. When we were done, we dressed and couldn't look at each other because we felt so guilty. I kissed her and left. I didn't talk with her for almost a month because I didn't know what to say. Then she approached me and told me she knew she was pregnant and I was the father. I was scared at first but realized how much I missed her to and held her and kissed her as she cried in my arms after her cheerleading practice. Well both families were very angry but at the sixth mos of pregnancy when she was 12 and a half, both our parents came and told us they loved us and supported us and that we were staying together and they were going to have us marry when she turned 14 under state law and parental consent. I turned 17 soon after. Truth is, I didn't realize how much I could love someone so much as I did my girlfriend and mother to my child and her to me. We had to look for maternity dresses. She gave birth a few mos before 13. We raised our sweet lil daughter tog till she turned 14. We are now a month into our marriage and live in her parents garage apartment as a family. I just turned 17 a couple days ago and her 14 a mos ago. Thing is, she told me she believes she is pregnant again after only a mos together. Our families dont know yet. Abortion would never cross our minds, but I dont believe we are ready for two children. If god wills it though, we will. We are both homeschooled now. She is a stay at home mom and wife and I work construction for her dad. I love her and my children so much. I just need prayer to tell our families we are expecting again.

Hello Jasper,

 

I love you both already without even knowing you,you and your wife sound like wonderful caring parents ,don't even think about abortion,the Lord knows your struggles and will be with you and help you along the way.

Do you have a church where you can talk about your worries?

But above all go to the Lord,tell Him all your fears,you are His child and He will lead you the way.

 I believe God will lead people your way who will help you and your wife

 

Trust and obey,there is no other way,then to be happy in Jesus ~~TRUST  and obey ~~

 

Please stay in contact with Worthynews ,there are wonderful people here who care and will give you advice when you need it. 

 

Praying for you and your family~~

 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Ps.139:13