So, here is my struggle

[Proof]

I am usually a very private person. I will only show those around me so much of who I am, what makes me, me. I don't like burdening others with my problems. I take them to Christ and pretty much leave it at that. I have a very successful career, a good home, and a great bunch of kids. For those who know, I am recently divorced. It has been about 6 months now and I am starting to feel the emptiness of not having a partner. It's true, any void should be filled with Christ and that should be enough. I have been riding on that for some time now but its starting to not be enough.

I miss being able to spend evenings with someone, tell about my day, and a warm embrace. But, I have this fear. I don't want to be hurt again. I have recently found that I am not brave enough to approach a woman in an attempt to get to know her. Every opportunity I have had I have intentionally turned away from. When I don't have my kids, I spend my evenings alone, watching movies or going for a drive. And when I pick my kids up from their mothers I get to watch her and the man she left me for being affectionate and acting like all is well. I honestly feel she does this stuff in front of me just to get a jab in. Not cool.

 

In a recent meditation with God He told me to be patient and keep my eyes on the Kingdom. I am doing this but the loneliness is getting a bit unbearable. I have so many walls up right now that I fear it will become self destructive.

I would love to meet someone at some point, to have the nerve to even ask someone for that matter. In a recent conversation with someone they asked me what opportunities I had. Well, unless I run into them at the store there are no other chances. I wouldn't date someone at work because if it didn't work we still have to work with each other and that would get awkward. There are only 2 other people my age at my church and they are friends I grew up with and the female of the two is married to the other one. HAHA!  I don't like the idea of meeting someone on line as that is not tangible enough for me and if they don't live close, whats the point? I wont take a gamble like that. Being a fraud investigator I am overly cautious about people on-line anyways.

I know, if I am meant to find someone again, that Christ will reveal them to me. But what if I miss it (her)? Plus, I cant imagine that a divorced father of 4 is something that anyone else is really looking to get involved in. I guess I am more or less venting and I don't expect anyone to have any answers for me. I just needed to tell someone, I guess. So there it is! Thanks for listening.

 

God Bless,

Proof

[alien224]

Praying for you.

[Patticats]

Praying for you!

[Guest]

Praying~!

[wingnut-]

Hello proof,

 

My heart goes out to you brother, I have been where you are now, and I know how difficult it can be.  Your circumstances mirror what I went through, and I can so relate to the comment about having to see your ex with the man she left you for.  The loneliness part is rough, but I can tell you that it will get easier over time, just keep your eyes on Jesus and let Him be your strength.

 

You may not be ready for another relationship for some time, and that could be behind your hesitancy.  If you are like me, you have come out of this situation with trust issues that are not easily overcome.  Perhaps, like myself, you need to focus on being the man God wants you to be before you are ready to share a life with someone else.  I am here any time you need someone to talk to my brother, you know how to find me, God bless you.

[alphaparticle]

Proof, I feel for you. That does not sound like an easy thing to have to constantly interact with your ex in that manner. It also sounds to me like you would do well with a solid lady by your side. It is always a gamble, but one well worth it in my opinion.

 

if you do online dating you can specify from which zipcode even you may want to meet someone. I don't' see it as being anymore chance-y than most dating opportunities. You also have an ability to quickly sort through a lot of people based on key items such as being a Christian, liking children etc. Then you pick a public place and meet her. At that point is it any more uncertain than meeting her at the grocery store? That is all to say, there are ways you can do this while taking care of your kids and working hard as you do. Having known you in chat for a bit I can tell there are qualities there many women would find attractive and I do not doubt there is the right lady out there for you and your kids.

[missmuffet]

It is nice to have a person you can trust to share your concerns with.Unfortunately there are not a lot of people in this world you can trust.I have had numerous friends come and go and it is sad when you find out that person really can not be trusted.God is number one on my list of those I can trust.I have been divorced twice so I know the hurt and loneliness you are experiencing.I obtained these relationships outside of God's will and they were a nightmare.You are guarding your heart which I think is a wise thing to do.I have been told that a person needs to heal and grieve for a year or 2 years before even seeking out another relationship.That is just a healthy approach.It is very important that you are in prayer often and you give all of your hurts and concerns to God.If it is God's will He will bring you someone that He wants you to be with.A woman who can unconditionally love you and your children.Your wife deserted you.You need to pray for her as well and forgive her.I know that is sometimes very difficult to do but for your own healing process it is very necessary.

You must also seek a Christian woman.God will put all of this together for you in His timing.His timing is very different than our own.Just be patient and know that God has it all covered.Focus on faith.God be with you my friend and I will send up a prayer for you  

[Littlelambseativy]

Do you really think that if Jesus will reveal someone you COULD miss her?? That would mean that He would fail...He does not fail. We fail when we go about His business thinking He may be a failure. Trust Him... Wait for Him,..He does NOT fail us. Are we not told to "wait on the Lord"? I am sure it is not easy anyone whose lifetime partner has died has felt the emptiness but God does fill that emptiness if you but wait and let Him.

[Guest]

Praying~!

[Proof]

Thank you all for your support! These are all very encouraging words. I have complete faith God will lead me through this. God Bless you all!

 

Proof