8 ways we're judged by others

[MorningGlory]

 

The only ones that concern me are the handshake (I can't stand a limp handshake) and the nail biting thing; that will drive me straight up the wall!  I literally can't look at someone who is biting their nails.  Sets my teeth on edge.   I had to literally stop and pay attention to where I look when I take a drink because I had never thought about it and I've never noticed what anyone else does either.  It's amazing what people judge each other on, eh?

Hmmmm interesting.

 

 

No, it's not interesting at all.  I grew up with a mother who bit her nails AND a sister.  I have a niece who bites her nails until they bleed.  It's very distressing to me so I simply don't watch. We all have something that makes us cringe.  (My ex is creeped out by the sound of something rubbing on cloth....like your hand.  Go figure.)

[MorningGlory]

I am more concerned with those who break the law everyday.Speeding,using their cell phone and texting(which is against the law in my state) going through red lights and jaywalking.I mean no one pays attention to those things anymore and they are the law.

 

I think we're all concerned with those things but this thread is about how others judge YOU, and me, and everyone here.  I had no idea people notice  where one looks when they drink.  That, to me, is weird.

[missmuffet]

 

I am more concerned with those who break the law everyday.Speeding,using their cell phone and texting(which is against the law in my state) going through red lights and jaywalking.I mean no one pays attention to those things anymore and they are the law.

 

I think we're all concerned with those things but this thread is about how others judge YOU, and me, and everyone here.  I had no idea people notice  where one looks when they drink.  That, to me, is weird.

 

And to someone else the being creeped out by watching someone bite their nails would be weird soooo......to each their own.

[Omegaman 3.0]

 

2.I think it is important for a person to show up on time.It is rude to make a person wait for a long time.Kind of like their time is more important than the person they have the appointment with.

 

 

Not to pick on you, I certainly am not, but your response to number two, is a perfect backdrop, to what I want to say about promptness, just something for us all to ponder.

 

Let me tell you a story, about a modern Westerner, and a "primitive" tribesman on a remote island.

 

After the Westerner had been on the island for some time, and had picked up the local language, he had a conversation with the tribesman, and part of the discussion, concerned the concept of time. There was some confusion about the idea of time, or the differences in attitudes about time. It seems that in the culture of the tribesman, there was little concern over time, not something that was considered much. They had very little in their language or culture that seemed to acknowledge that time had any importance.

 

This was curiously odd to the Westerner, who of course grew up in a civilization of wrist watches and appointments. The Westerner queried further, asking hypothetical questions about planning meetings.

 

It turned out, that the concept of meeting next month on a certain day, was not something those in the islander's culture, had a way to accomplish. The islander couldn't understand why someone would want to do such a thing, why would anyone need to plan something so far in the future, what purpose could that serve? It seemed that plans, if any, were typically made for the next day, or two days away if there was some need for delay.

 

Time of day was another issue. The islander had no 2:30 P.M. in his language. Dividing his day into high resolution, was more like:

 

• When the sun is low in the east
• When the sun is high in the sky
• When the Sun is low in the west
• When it is dark
• When it has been dark for a long time

 

So, the westerner asked:

"What if I want to meet you, in two days, in between when the sun is high, and the sun is low in the west?"

The tribesman replied: "Then we shall meet just as you say."

The westerner asked: "What if you go there to meet me, and I am not there?"  

"Then I will wait for you and if you are there and I am not, you shall wait for me!" was his reply.

 

In our culture, we put a high premium on time, on promptness. We consider it rude, to be kept waiting. We think that the other person is inconsiderate and wasting our time.

 

However, what if our lives were simpler, where being alone with one's thoughts, enjoying your surroundings, or communing with one's creator were just as important as anything else we devote time to?

 

This way of life we have, is what makes us judge others for how time is used.  It is a matter of how we have structured our priorities, and we judge others, because we think our priorities, are more important than the other person's priorities.

 

I tend to be pretty prompt, but it is only because it is an act of love, to consider the feelings of others. I admit, that I can be annoyed if I have an appointment scheduled, with a doctor for example, and my appointment it for 1:00, and I show up at 12:55, but I do not get seen until 1:50. This means I will have to wait an additional 55 minutes for the next bus to take home. Because I have met my obligation to be on time, I am annoyed that the Dr. has caused me to lose almost 2 hours.

 

Does it do me any good to get angry over this? No, my anger benefits no one. More importantly, I did not really lose those 110 minutes, I just spent them in a way, other than I had plans for. So, rather that be upset, I choose to be forgiving, I tell myself that perhaps, something came up in another appointment, that was more important than my time. I also prepare for this contingency, by bringing a book along. That way, the time is not lost, it is redeemed for another purpose.

 

Maybe because I am probably a so called type B personality, it is easy to just relax, take a deep breath, shrug my shoulders, and not get annoyed at things that have no real importance in the big picture.

 

Sure, we can be judged for being late, but I do not want to practice judging others when they are. It is not helpful one bit. Judging others in this way, is the bigger waste of time.

[Omegaman 3.0]

I think we're all concerned with those things but this thread is about how others judge YOU, and me, and everyone here.  I had no idea people notice  where one looks when they drink.  That, to me, is weird.

 

 

I agree, I was thinking "Huh? What are they talking about?" Makes me wonder it that is something the author does, either looking at where people look when they drink, or being paranoid that others look to see where the author looks when the author drinks.

[missmuffet]

 

 

2.I think it is important for a person to show up on time.It is rude to make a person wait for a long time.Kind of like their time is more important than the person they have the appointment with.

 

 

Not to pick on you, I certainly am not, but your response to number two, is a perfect backdrop, to what I want to say about promptness, just something for us all to ponder.

 

Let me tell you a story, about a modern Westerner, and a "primitive" tribesman on a remote island.

 

After the Westerner had been on the island for some time, and had picked up the local language, he had a conversation with the tribesman, and part of the discussion, concerned the concept of time. There was some confusion about the idea of time, or the differences in attitudes about time. It seems that in the culture of the tribesman, there was little concern over time, not something that was considered much. They had very little in their language or culture that seemed to acknowledge that time had any importance.

 

This was curiously odd to the Westerner, who of course grew up in a civilization of wrist watches and appointments. The Westerner queried further, asking hypothetical questions about planning meetings.

 

It turned out, that the concept of meeting next month on a certain day, was not something those in the islander's culture, had a way to accomplish. The islander couldn't understand why someone would want to do such a thing, why would anyone need to plan something so far in the future, what purpose could that serve? It seemed that plans, if any, were typically made for the next day, or two days away if there was some need for delay.

 

Time of day was another issue. The islander had no 2:30 P.M. in his language. Dividing his day into high resolution, was more like:

 

• When the sun is low in the east
• When the sun is high in the sky
• When the Sun is low in the west
• When it is dark
• When it has been dark for a long time

 

So, the westerner asked:

"What if I want to meet you, in two days, in between when the sun is high, and the sun is low in the west?"

The tribesman replied: "Then we shall meet just as you say."

The westerner asked: "What if you go there to meet me, and I am not there?"  

"Then I will wait for you and if you are there and I am not, you shall wait for me!" was his reply.

 

In our culture, we put a high premium on time, on promptness. We consider it rude, to be kept waiting. We think that the other person is inconsiderate and wasting our time.

 

However, what if our lives were simpler, where being alone with one's thoughts, enjoying your surroundings, or communing with one's creator were just as important as anything else we devote time to?

 

This way of life we have, is what makes us judge others for how time is used.  It is a matter of how we have structured our priorities, and we judge others, because we think our priorities, are more important than the other person's priorities.

 

I tend to be pretty prompt, but it is only because it is an act of love, to consider the feelings of others. I admit, that I can be annoyed if I have an appointment scheduled, with a doctor for example, and my appointment it for 1:00, and I show up at 12:55, but I do not get seen until 1:50. This means I will have to wait an additional 55 minutes for the next bus to take home. Because I have met my obligation to be on time, I am annoyed that the Dr. has caused me to lose almost 2 hours.

 

Does it do me any good to get angry over this? No, my anger benefits no one. More importantly, I did not really lose those 110 minutes, I just spent them in a way, other than I had plans for. So, rather that be upset, I choose to be forgiving, I tell myself that perhaps, something came up in another appointment, that was more important than my time. I also prepare for this contingency, by bringing a book along. That way, the time is not lost, it is redeemed for another purpose.

 

Maybe because I am probably a so called type B personality, it is easy to just relax, take a deep breath, shrug my shoulders, and not get annoyed at things that have no real importance in the big picture.

 

Sure, we can be judged for being late, but I do not want to practice judging others when they are. It is not helpful one bit. Judging others in this way, is the bigger waste of time.

 

If there is an emergency I can understand that but it would not be a common occurrence.When someone is habitually late to meet someone or arrive for an appointment it is rude.It is saying that their time is more important than the person they are meeting.You are not picking on me because apparently you are ok with a person allowing someone to wait on them.I am not.Remember the Bible does speak of a rightful judgment.Judgment is not always wrong.

[missmuffet]

 

I am more concerned with those who break the law everyday.Speeding,using their cell phone and texting(which is against the law in my state) going through red lights and jaywalking.I mean no one pays attention to those things anymore and they are the law.

 

I think we're all concerned with those things but this thread is about how others judge YOU, and me, and everyone here.  I had no idea people notice  where one looks when they drink.  That, to me, is weird.

 

I do not care if others judge me.I have given up on that a long time ago what other people think, it is not healthy.I try my very best to be obedient to God in everything I do.I am only human I sin everyday just like the rest of the Christian world.If someone does not like what I say or how I look then they can look the other way.

[Omegaman 3.0]

I certainly never said judgement is wrong all of the time. I do think that at times, it just does no one any good, and when that is the case, we are just hurting ourselves spiritually, and choosing  needless anxiety. 1 Cor 5 tell us the we are indeed to judge.

 

9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES.

[missmuffet]

I certainly never said judgement is wrong all of the time. I do think that at times, it just does no one any good, and when that is the case, we are just hurting ourselves spiritually, and choosing  needless anxiety. 1 Cor 5 tell us the we are indeed to judge.

 

9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES.

There is a wrong way to judge.The Bible speaks of that.

[MorningGlory]

 

 

I am more concerned with those who break the law everyday.Speeding,using their cell phone and texting(which is against the law in my state) going through red lights and jaywalking.I mean no one pays attention to those things anymore and they are the law.

 

I think we're all concerned with those things but this thread is about how others judge YOU, and me, and everyone here.  I had no idea people notice  where one looks when they drink.  That, to me, is weird.

 

And to someone else the being creeped out by watching someone bite their nails would be weird soooo......to each their own.

 

 

That's true.  Some people aren't bothered by nail biting at all.  I know one guy who won't eat in front of other people.  He cannot tell me why.  I'm sure I do things that make some people nuts too but they just haven't told me.  Yet.