Social awkwardness

[MorningGlory]

Sometimes I WISH I was more introverted; it might make me keep my mouth shut at times when I KNOW I'm going to make people mad.  There's nothing wrong with being an introvert; imagine if everyone in the world was the same.  It would be TOO boring.

[Tyler47]

I am the same way a lot of times.  What are your reasons?  If its because your afraid of what people think of you or the person that you are, then you have to humble yourself.  Know that the only opinion that has any substance to it is that of Jesus Christ.  A lot of times shyness can be linked to pride and self comfort, which is the case with myself.  Get out of your comfort zone and pray for God to lead your tongue.  He has done wonders with me.

[missmuffet]

I am the same way a lot of times.  What are your reasons?  If its because your afraid of what people think of you or the person that you are, then you have to humble yourself.  Know that the only opinion that has any substance to it is that of Jesus Christ.  A lot of times shyness can be linked to pride and self comfort, which is the case with myself.  Get out of your comfort zone and pray for God to lead your tongue.  He has done wonders with me.

Self esteem could have something to do with it.I think it is a waste of time to care what anyone else thinks of you.

[Tyler47]

I agree, the only opinion with stock is the opinion of Jesus Christ.  

[Ezra]

I was thinking something called avoidant peronality disorder personally, but there is no confirmation of that. 

Ricky,

Try and avoid putting a label on yourself, which could further exacerbate the problem. The most effective way to deal with this is to (a) believe that you are someone who is worthy of making friends with anyone and (2) deliberately put your focus on the other person and their interests. You will find that most people like to talk about themselves, and are looking for good listeners.

[gdemoss]

Ricky, the search for the truth about ourselves begins with questions.  In the end I found that I need to ask God to help me become the person he meant for me to be.

There is a difference between me wanting me to be different for some perceived benefiit for myself and me wanting to change because I believe that God would have me to be different than I am because being who I am breaks the commandment to love God and to love my neighbor as myself.

Have a great day!

[1to3]

If its avoidant personality disorder, it means somewhere in your past,you were belittled, made fun off, insulted, made to feel less than.This has to be looked into before it takes more control over your life.  Sometimes the stage was set so early in life, mainly by your primary caregivers, that it can be hard to break of change. But God can do what man cannot. And God can help you overcome step by step and in His time.

I have also been a shy person.     I think I always was a sociable person, but because of my primary caregivers, and the fact that I was left to spent so much time alone as a kid, I got used to being alone .

Also, since early childhood, I came from a dysfunctional family  and this played a lot in the formation of my self esteem or lack of.

In my teenage years, I tried to force myself to look more outgoing and became someone that I was not. That was a bad idea, it just got me to loose myself more before I could find myself once again.

Best to be just yourself, and lean on the word God for guidance. People can say many things, but not all is right or meant for your well being.

The things said that resonate with you, reflect on those and if the advice helps you, than take it as long as the advice aligns up with the word of God.

Many people don't understand shyness or social anxiety in this very performance oriented world we live in. But many in this day and age do suffer from these, because of the world we live in and the families we grew up in.

The good news is that God is there to help us become the children of God we were always intended to be .

We are meant to be overcomers in Him over our past or present circumstances.

 

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

 

All of Proverbs ch.3

My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.

3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

9 Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:

10 So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:

12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.

14 For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold.

15 She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.

16 Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour.

17 Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

18 She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her.

19 The LORD by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens.

20 By his knowledge the depths are broken up, and the clouds drop down the dew.

21 My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:

22 So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck.

23 Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy foot shall not stumble.

24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.

25 Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.

26 For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.

27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.

28 Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee.

29 Devise not evil against thy neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee.

30 Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm.

31 Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.

32 For the froward is abomination to the LORD: but his secret is with the righteous.

33 The curse of the LORD is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just.

34 Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly.

35 The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools.

 

 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, ¹² so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

The word of God says to live a quiet life and to mind our own business. So quiet is good.

Edited October 3, 2015 by 1to3
.

[ricky]

If its avoidant personality disorder, it means somewhere in your past,you were belittled, made fun off, insulted, made to feel less than.This has to be looked into before it takes more control over your life.  Sometimes the stage was set so early in life, mainly by your primary caregivers, that it can be hard to break of change. But God can do what man cannot. And God can help you overcome step by step and in His time.

I have also been a shy person.     I think I always was a sociable person, but because of my primary caregivers, and the fact that I was left to spent so much time alone as a kid, I got used to being alone .

Also, since early childhood, I came from a dysfunctional family  and this played a lot in the formation of my self esteem or lack of.

In my teenage years, I tried to force myself to look more outgoing and became someone that I was not. That was a bad idea, it just got me to loose myself more before I could find myself once again.

Best to be just yourself, and lean on the word God for guidance. People can say many things, but not all is right or meant for your well being.

The things said that resonate with you, reflect on those and if the advice helps you, than take it as long as the advice aligns up with the word of God.

Many people don't understand shyness or social anxiety in this very performance oriented world we live in. But many in this day and age do suffer from these, because of the world we live in and the families we grew up in.

The good news is that God is there to help us become the children of God we were always intended to be .

We are meant to be overcomers in Him over our past or present circumstances.

 

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

 

All of Proverbs ch.3

My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.

3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

9 Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:

10 So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:

12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.

14 For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold.

15 She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.

16 Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour.

17 Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

18 She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her.

19 The LORD by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens.

20 By his knowledge the depths are broken up, and the clouds drop down the dew.

21 My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:

22 So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck.

23 Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy foot shall not stumble.

24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.

25 Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.

26 For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.

27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.

28 Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee.

29 Devise not evil against thy neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee.

30 Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm.

31 Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.

32 For the froward is abomination to the LORD: but his secret is with the righteous.

33 The curse of the LORD is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just.

34 Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly.

35 The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools.

 

 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, ¹² so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

The word of God says to live a quiet life and to mind our own business. So quiet is good.

Thanks for the advice I was bullied from a very early age at school, and I think that plays a big part. My family were quite poor and dysfunctional, and argued all the time, which led to my fear of confrontation. Thanks for the encouragement and scriptures

[SavedOnebyGrace]

I have a really problem with social awkwardness. It has got better over the years, but I still have problems talking to people, some people even think I come across as rude and cold. The truth is I want to be out going, I feel like the real me is trapped inside, I feel my shyness is keeping me from being the man God wants me to be. I would like some advice to combat this problem thanks.

I am the same way.

[AllTheGoodNamesAreTaken]

Hey Ricky,

I grew up under similar circumstances. Just remember you are YOU in the LORD and not what was. You are an amazing person, and the LORD has plans for your life !