Authority of the Husband

[proverbs35]

23 minutes ago, Butero said:

Take the word absolute out of the equation.  I am not going to waste time arguing over that.  I am simply stating that the husband has the authority to tell his wife to do anything and she is required to submit unless he tells her to commit sin.  That is all I am saying, and I can back it up with scripture.  I am not going to argue over the word absolute.  I will even agree with you that the word absolute shouldn't have been used, because the one exception means it is not absolute.  There is a single exception, sin.  How is that? 

I can agree with that because it's scripture (Eph 5:24).

I simply believe that words and wording is important because words can influence and affect behavior. 

[GoldenEagle]

I was thinking about and praying about this further...

 

There's no real magic list or formula regarding a husband's role. As God loves us and we find our identity in Him we will naturally love our wives better. Some days better than others... ?

That said, a husband...

1. Tries to Love sacrificially - seeks the good of others, putting the needs of His wife and family ahead of his own wants, realizes that love covers all wrongs, is kind and forgiving
1 Cor 10:24, Eph. 5:25, 1 Peter 4:8, Eph 4:32

2. Tries to Communicate graciously - pursues his wife's heart, admits it when wrong, is slow to anger
Col. 4:6, Prov 16:18, Prov. 15:18

3. Tries to be a Servant leader - serves his spouse and family, cares for family by prioritizing time with them
Matt. 20:26-28, 1 Tim 5:4

4. Tries to be a good Steward - of time, energy, and resources
1 Pet 4:10, Matt 6:21

5. Tries to seek Counsel of those wiser - particularly older men for advice, prayer, and support 
Prov 12:15

6. Tries to follow God's Word - studying AND doing
James 1:22

 

What do you guys think?

God bless,

Ge

[GoldenEagle]

But no husband is responsible for his wife's happiness though in my opinion. He can try to please her sure. Yet I'm not responsible for my wife's happiness. I can try to please her and love her but I'm still a failed human being prone to sin. By God's grace he helps me love her better. 

I'm responsible for my actions, feelings, words, and thoughts. I cannot be responsible for the actions feelings, words, and thoughts of others.

With God's help I can be a loving husband, considerate towards my wife, and use kind with my words. On the other hand I cannot make my wife respect me, make her feel different, make her say what I want her to say, or make her think the way I want her to think.

Does thank make sense or would you agree?

God bless,

Ge

[Guest Butero]

3 hours ago, GoldenEagle said:

I was thinking about and praying about this further...

 

There's no real magic list or formula regarding a husband's role. As God loves us and we find our identity in Him we will naturally love our wives better. Some days better than others... ?

That said, a husband...

1. Tries to Love sacrificially - seeks the good of others, putting the needs of His wife and family ahead of his own wants, realizes that love covers all wrongs, is kind and forgiving
1 Cor 10:24, Eph. 5:25, 1 Peter 4:8, Eph 4:32

2. Tries to Communicate graciously - pursues his wife's heart, admits it when wrong, is slow to anger
Col. 4:6, Prov 16:18, Prov. 15:18

3. Tries to be a Servant leader - serves his spouse and family, cares for family by prioritizing time with them
Matt. 20:26-28, 1 Tim 5:4

4. Tries to be a good Steward - of time, energy, and resources
1 Pet 4:10, Matt 6:21

5. Tries to seek Counsel of those wiser - particularly older men for advice, prayer, and support 
Prov 12:15

6. Tries to follow God's Word - studying AND doing
James 1:22

 

What do you guys think?

God bless,

Ge

Overall, I would tend to agree with what you said. 

[StanJ]

On 8/19/2016 at 2:09 AM, Ariel16 said:

Now I noticed this was debated already, but I want to know what everyone else thinks about that debate and express their views on the "Authority of a Husband." What is the biblical view of the husband and the wife?

I don't see this as an authority issue in the scriptures. The scriptures talk about headship of the husband and of Jesus. Headship comes with a lot of responsibility, the least of which is telling others what to do. It's also important to see that if you can't fight gives responsibilities to all concerned and they are not dependent on others fulfilling their responsibilities. Jesus does everything required of him as head of the church and doesn't need to be told what to do for obvious reasons. However as humans we do need Jesus's Direction at all times and as such it's a paramount importance that the husband and wife both have a well-established relationship with God in order for their marriage to work properly. If men are properly instructed in their responsibilities of headship, and follow their admonition to love their wives as Christ loved the church then it will go a long way to alleviating conflict that is bound to arise in any marriage. Also if women are properly instructed in what submission actually means and the husband understands what submission actually means then there will be no conflict in that regard as well.

Many seem to be aware of Ephesians 5 :22-33, but at the same time they miss what Ephesians 5:21. We all as Servants of God must start with a submissive spirit and go from there. The instruction from Paul starts at verse 21 and moves on from there. We start with being submissive to one another as Brothers and Sisters in Christ and then let everything else fall in place. There is indeed an Order that God wants to have in the body and that order has certain steps that must be complied with at all times. Above all, love of the brethren is the beginning of that order.

[Leonardo Von]

On 9/5/2016 at 2:28 PM, proverbs35 said:

A husband's authority is not absolute - complete, total or unlimited. A husband's authority over his wife is conditional and limited. What are those conditions/limits? As you acknowledged, a husband does not have the authority to demand his wife to sin. That's an example of limited authority rather than absolute authority.

Jesus is the only absolute authority in the universe, and he alone deserves that honor, privilege and responsibility.

Jesus came up and said to them, “All authority (all power of ABSOLUTE rule) in heaven and on earth has been given to Me.
Matt 28:18 AMP

Absolute authority was given to Jesus not husbands. Limited authority was given to husbands and other human authorities.

Dear sister Proverbs35,

 

Grace and mercy and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Everything in life is a matter of concept and vision. The first thing we need to do is define what the word authority means. And the true authority before the Eternal is one who has intimacy with Jesus Christ to the point of being an example of all that Jesus is, as well as of all the effectiveness of His word.

Authority is a faithful witness that serves as an inspiration for all those who really want to know the truth and stand on the side of those who fight for a just, good and pleasing cause before the Eternal. And, in the case of the home, the husband should be this example of love and fidelity to Christ and His cause, and it is up to the woman to submit to the plan that the Eternal established for the husband (meditate on Ephesians 5: 25-33).

[Willa]

1Pe 3:1  Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 1Pe 3:2  when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. [Expository Bible Dictionary: (II) In a moral sense, fear, reverence, respect, honor (1Pe 1:17; 1Pe 3:2, 1Pe 3:15;  1Pe 3:3  Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—1Pe 3:4  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle [meek] and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. [meekness is toward God.  Vine:  It must be clearly understood, therefore, that the meekness manifested by the Lord and commended to the believer is the fruit of power. The common assumption is that when a man is meek it is because he cannot help himself; but the Lord was 'meek' because he had the infinite resources of God at His command. Described negatively, meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest; it is equanimity of spirit that is neither elated nor cast down, simply because it is not occupied with self at all. ]  

1Pe 3:5  For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 1Pe 3:6  as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

1Pe 3:7  Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

1Pe 3:8  Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; 1Pe 3:9  not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

 

I see the key to all of this as honoring our husbands and respecting their authority over us as given by God for our protection.  It is the fruit of their love, just as their providing our needs is a fruit of their love.  We find security in it because ultimately it is provided by God.

[Willa]

The Bible has a lot to say about being persecuted for righteousness sake.  Such as bless those who persecute you, pray for those who spitefully use you.  Do a study through you concordance on persecute.

If he is not a Christian, you may divorce him if he no longer wants to live with you.   If you are in it for the long haul forming godly attitudes and godly responses can changes things.  Sometimes he is saved.  It took 4 years of doing this till my husband was saved. I prayed day and night for him, but God first changed me.  I also engaged in spiritual warfare, knowing that God lived in me and was fighting on my behalf.  God was greater in me than the evil that was in him.  So I was able to stand up on the inside with Christ's authority while replying with a soft answer, not returning reviling for reviling.  I would try to stick to the issue and with godly attitudes, respecting him in spite of all, give a godly perspective.   Sometimes it made Him angrier, but I was determined to remain the adult.  Sometimes I would say " That's OK.  I love you anyway."  But each of us has to do as God instructs us.

But where drugs and and/or alcohol are involved in his violence, or mental illness, run for the nearest woman's shelter!  My advice.  There are times that you can maintain separation till he agrees to get treatment.  God can put marriages back together.

Sometimes you need to get a restraining order and then disappear and change your name.  But in all cases we have to forgive and pray that God bless them, that He delivers them from the evil that controls them, and that He saves their souls.  

[simplejeff]

1 hour ago, Abby-Joy said:

What - if anything - does the Bible say about a wife's responsibility to her husband where there is DV involved?

From a woman of God to women,  see "Total Joy" and "Total Woman" by Marabel Morgan.    From years ago,  these were good reading for women and men seeking what the BIBLE says. (not what men say).   Thus,  they are not very popular books in the world, but totally in line with and in harmony with all SCRIPTURE....  (very very uncommon these days,  or any days probably).

[simplejeff]

Without tackling the issue of children in the house,

 

look what JESUS says in the BIBLE to the slaves who are mistreated by their owners.

 

(Both to the owners,   and to the slaves)

 

(added) and in the OLD TESTAMENT, oh, the NEW also,   when the babies/ children were slaughtered,  

who provided , eventually, deliverance for the remaining people and children and babies ?

Doing things HIS WAY is quite different , and often painful,  than doing things man's way.

"TOTAL JOY" also shows (not necessarily in the reviews) from SCRIPTURE what YHWH says to do.

"TOTAL WOMAN" does also ,   regarding whether there are children in the home or not.

As usual,  the way of SCRIPTURE is not known nor accepted by the world/ society.