Do you hold grudges?

[missmuffet]

Question: "What does the Bible say about grudges?"

Answer: We all have reasons to hold grudges. People wrong us. Situations hurt us. Even God does not always do what we think He should do, so we get angry. We hold offenses against those who have wronged us, and often against God who we think should have done things differently. A grudge is nothing more than a refusal to forgive. So, since this tendency is inherent in all of us and seemingly unavoidable, what does the Bible say about it?

God has such a strong concern about grudges that He included a specific command about them when He gave the Law to the Israelites. Leviticus 19:18 says, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” It is interesting that God concluded this particular command with the words “I am the Lord.” In doing so, God reminded us that He is the Lord, not us. To hold a grudge is to set ourselves up as judge and jury—to determine that one person’s wrong should not be forgiven. No human being has the right or authority to do that. Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

Misunderstanding forgiveness often keeps us in bondage to grudges. We think that to forgive is to excuse sin or pretend the offense did not matter. Neither is true. Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is God’s gift to us to release us from the control of someone who has hurt us. When we retain a grudge, we give someone we don’t like power over our emotions. Without forgiveness, just the thought of an offender can send acid to our stomachs and heat to our faces. In essence, we make that person an idol, giving him or her control over us (Deuteronomy 32:39). But when we forgive, we release to God any right to vengeance or restitution. Forgiveness puts our relationship with God back in proper alignment. We acknowledge that He is the Judge, not us, and that He has the right to bring about any resolution He chooses. Forgiveness is the choice to trust God rather than ourselves with the outcome of the offense.

We often hold on to grudges because we feel we have the responsibility to see that justice is done or that others know how badly we were hurt. But when we release the situation to God, along with the right to dictate the ending, we free the Lord to work as He sees fit without our anger getting in the way (Matthew 18:21–22).

It is important to remember that forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. It is an act of surrender to God’s will and is primarily between us and God. We release to Him our right to hang on to anger (Psalm 115:11). However, reconciliation depends on the true repentance and proven trustworthiness of the offender. For example, in the case of spousal abuse, the victim must forgive as part of her ongoing healing. She can release her anger to God. But, at the same time, she must keep protective boundaries in place until the abuser has proven over time that he is worthy of her trust (see Proverbs 26:24–25).

“The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). We do God no favors by trying to “help” Him right a bad situation through our vengeance. He does not need our anger. He needs our cooperation as we submit to doing things His way (Proverbs 3:5–6). And God’s way is always to forgive as He has forgiven us (Matthew 18:35; Ephesians 4:32).

We can release a grudge with a simple act of our will, by offering the whole situation to God and letting go of it. Forgiveness brings healing to our souls and allows God to build His strength and character into our lives as we allow Him to reign as our only God (Romans 8:29).

[Neighbor]

 "We all have reasons to hold grudges. People wrong us. Situations hurt us. Even God does not always do what we think He should do, so we get angry. We hold offenses against those who have wronged us, and often against God who we think should have done things differently. A grudge is nothing more than a refusal to forgive. So, since this tendency is inherent in all of us and seemingly unavoidable, what does the Bible say about it?"

We all have reasons to hold grudges.  I don't.

People wrong us.  Not really.

Situations hurt us. Nah, people are people is all.

Even God does not always do what we think He should do, so we get angry.  I sure don't!

We hold offenses against those who have wronged us, and often against God who we think should have done things differently.  No and no!

A grudge is nothing more than a refusal to forgive. If you say  so I  can't say one way  or another.

So, since this tendency is inherent in all of us and seemingly unavoidable, _ Whoa, inherent? I don't think so. 

What does the Bible say about it ? My Bible  writes of my forgiving, as I too are forgiven by God. Such stuff doesn't even come up, especially if I don't hold anyone to any standard I might try to set for myself to obtain. But truth there is that I don't hold a grudge against myself either- it is just a non issue. After all nobody promised me fair. That was th emessage I learned and have retained from a sign above the pass through window to a college math profeesers exam results pile. It read  

"NOBODY 

PROMISED  

YOU FAIR"

 

IN OTHERS WORDS DON'T GO AROUND SAYING THAT'S NOT FAIR, and there won't be reason to be acquiring a taste for grudge holding.

"It's"  all like  water off a duck's back let it go.

Avoid  suffering Festinger's Theory  of Cognitive Dissonance, by not seeking that which only conforms what  is already believed to be so.  

Expect less so to be pleasantly surprised when there is more. And, count it all for gain.

Praise God! He is the awesome God.

Oh, and please don't hold a grudge against me for thinking  a bit differently on the subject 

[RustyAngeL]

6 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Question: "What does the Bible say about grudges?"

Answer: We all have reasons to hold grudges. People wrong us. Situations hurt us. Even God does not always do what we think He should do, so we get angry. We hold offenses against those who have wronged us, and often against God who we think should have done things differently. A grudge is nothing more than a refusal to forgive. So, since this tendency is inherent in all of us and seemingly unavoidable, what does the Bible say about it?

God has such a strong concern about grudges that He included a specific command about them when He gave the Law to the Israelites. Leviticus 19:18 says, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” It is interesting that God concluded this particular command with the words “I am the Lord.” In doing so, God reminded us that He is the Lord, not us. To hold a grudge is to set ourselves up as judge and jury—to determine that one person’s wrong should not be forgiven. No human being has the right or authority to do that. Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

Misunderstanding forgiveness often keeps us in bondage to grudges. We think that to forgive is to excuse sin or pretend the offense did not matter. Neither is true. Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is God’s gift to us to release us from the control of someone who has hurt us. When we retain a grudge, we give someone we don’t like power over our emotions. Without forgiveness, just the thought of an offender can send acid to our stomachs and heat to our faces. In essence, we make that person an idol, giving him or her control over us (Deuteronomy 32:39). But when we forgive, we release to God any right to vengeance or restitution. Forgiveness puts our relationship with God back in proper alignment. We acknowledge that He is the Judge, not us, and that He has the right to bring about any resolution He chooses. Forgiveness is the choice to trust God rather than ourselves with the outcome of the offense.

We often hold on to grudges because we feel we have the responsibility to see that justice is done or that others know how badly we were hurt. But when we release the situation to God, along with the right to dictate the ending, we free the Lord to work as He sees fit without our anger getting in the way (Matthew 18:21–22).

It is important to remember that forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. It is an act of surrender to God’s will and is primarily between us and God. We release to Him our right to hang on to anger (Psalm 115:11). However, reconciliation depends on the true repentance and proven trustworthiness of the offender. For example, in the case of spousal abuse, the victim must forgive as part of her ongoing healing. She can release her anger to God. But, at the same time, she must keep protective boundaries in place until the abuser has proven over time that he is worthy of her trust (see Proverbs 26:24–25).

“The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). We do God no favors by trying to “help” Him right a bad situation through our vengeance. He does not need our anger. He needs our cooperation as we submit to doing things His way (Proverbs 3:5–6). And God’s way is always to forgive as He has forgiven us (Matthew 18:35; Ephesians 4:32).

We can release a grudge with a simple act of our will, by offering the whole situation to God and letting go of it. Forgiveness brings healing to our souls and allows God to build His strength and character into our lives as we allow Him to reign as our only God (Romans 8:29).

Of course we are not to hold grudges.  Forgiveness for the believer is mandatory. We are required to forgive.  Forgiveness is not about the person we forgive but about us.  When we forgive we are freed up from bitterness and all the things that can hold us and sour our relationship with God.

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, Yowm said:

No one is perfect. We all know what we should do but we fail in various areas.

Grudges? On a scale from 1-10, (not holding one (1) to forever holding a grudge (10)) I'd say I'm about a 3.

It is just something that we need to take a look at.

[Churchmouse]

I don't know about anyone else, but i have a very hard time being angry at anyone for a very long time. Even those I place on ignore I have the tendency to remove that off them.  I don't see anything good by embracing hurt and anguish, because I don't like how it makes me feel and I don't like what I become when I keep my anger bottled up.

I guess the best thing for that is to forgive those who angered you and forgive yourself for letting someone get you angry. God knew this when he instructed us to do so and I praise him every day for his love and understanding.

My main problem is that I've suffered so many years of self doubt and insecurity that I have come to the conclusion that I will be open and honest to a fault, so I will leave no foothold in which someone can hurt me or cause me pain by pushing a button that I am trying to conceal, so I won't be hurt. I've found out that if you reveal all the dark places in my soul that they can never be used against me, because they are no longer dark. They are filled with the light of acknowledgment and if anyone pokes at them all I have to say is, Yes that is there and I'm dealing with it.

I don't know about anyone else, but this works for me!

One of the many things I dislike about politics are there are so many people who have so many skeletons in their closets that anyone who disagrees with them can just poke and prod around until they find something juicy and the allegations and denials soon fly everywhere and everybody and their brother comes out of the woodwork for something that could have been defused at the first if the person was open and honest.

Edited February 17, 2017 by Churchmouse

[Heavenunlimited]

8 hours ago, Churchmouse said:

I don't know about anyone else, but i have a very hard time being angry at anyone for a very long time. Even those I place on ignore I have the tendancy to remove that off them.  I don't see anything good by embrasing hurt and anguish, because I don't like how it makes me feel and I don't like what I become when I keep my anger bottled up.

I guess the best thing for that is to forgive those who angered you and forgive yourself for letting someone get you angry.

My main problem is that I've suffered so many years of self doubt and insecurity that I have come to the conclusion that I will be open and honest to a fault, so I will leave no foothold in which someone can hurt me or cause me pain by pushing a button that I am trying to conceal, so I won't be hurt. I've found out that if you reveal all the dark places in my soul that they can never be used against me, because they are no longer dark. They are filled with the light of acknowledgment and if anyone pokes at them all I have to say is, Yes that is there and I'm dealing with it.

One of the many things I dislike about politics are there are so many people who have so many skeletons in their closets that anyone who disagrees with them can just poke and prod around until they find something juicy and the allegations and denials soon fly everywhere and everybody and their brother comes out of the woodwork for something that could have been defused at the first if the person was open and honest.

Im just like you about it, its simply not worth the time, emotions and interest to not to. Time and emotions that couldve spent better. Why should I pester my time this moment the only I have. Besides people have their own evil motives, even if they say its rare its about you. Really. Its basically down to sin, and evil, so why care in the first place? When you have been through alot of evil in your life done by others, any evil anyone might do loose the attraction fast. You simply recognise it for what it is, and dont attach. Often those that havent had so much suffering or betrayal in their life are the ones having harder time letting go as they havent understood yet, it IS JUST evil, and NOT personal. The error they do is making it personal. But you cant let go without seeing it for what it is. Its not an error not to see it it just is like the rest.  Then some have easier to anger than others I am one of those that cant even feel anger. Its always been ever since small.  But the same applies its in your thinking.  Seriously why let it bother you in the first place? Expect others and situations to be different than you or you want? Thats the trap.  Look at you, most times you just.. Do, not further deeper reason. Ok then we have evil and those ppl but they do it for..evil. So, again, why attach.

[Heavenunlimited]

Also, its better to just clear the air immediately than carry a grudge for years. No matter what one believes its not gonna make one happy. Think about a person that hold grudge after grudge upon grudge only to find out they couldve been without those feelings and anger, when they in their time face the ones theyre angry with because grude comes from having anger issue. It is anger deep down just a form of it. Lets say passive agressive. But thats anger too. Then, they go oh, if only this been resolved before i couldve! But, too late. So, it really is a waste of time.

[Heavenunlimited]

And who say the bible anger is of, the antichrist. So clearly a flesh problem that has to be fixated on the stick.

[HisFirst]

Yes I have held grudges.

I know it's not right to do that.

Edited February 18, 2017 by HisFirst

[Heavenunlimited]

Theres no problem you admit it we all have done or do something if not the one then the other.   so in that respect no sin is less or more.  Its whats in our hearts that means more.