Do you hold grudges?

[JTC]

Holding a grudge means not forgiving and Jesus commanded us to forgive. I never had a problem with holding grudges but I've known people who do. I knew one woman who seemed to pride herself on how good she could hold a grudge. I guess she saw it as a way to emotionally protect herself from others who hurt her. 

Grudges are related to not forgiving and judging. All sins and various people have varying degrees of trouble with these sins. While I never had a problem with grudges, and not even forgiving, in my older age I'm finding it hard to forgive people who don't want to be forgiven by me. Lately a lot of people I know are self righteous and want to hold grudges against me. It's a shame really because I never had problems with this group of sins. Since these are all sins they're things we have to overcome. We should seek to make it harder for others to deal with them. That's how we're supposed to behave. 

[Constian]

On ‎2‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 3:06 PM, missmuffet said:

Misunderstanding forgiveness often keeps us in bondage to grudges. We think that to forgive is to excuse sin or pretend the offense did not matter. Neither is true. Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is God’s gift to us to release us from the control of someone who has hurt us.

What is quoted is so true. Yes, I am a grudge holder and it is a terrible burden. It's rooted in anger IMO. And of course, more prevalent in those of us who tend to take everything personally. I find this an especially hard thing to deal with at work. You are immersed daily, for hours, in a secular world where it is cutthroat. Just one of the many things that I give to God regularly - but not enough, so glad to see this post.

Edited February 18, 2017 by Constian

[missmuffet]

25 minutes ago, Constian said:

What is quoted is so true. Yes, I am a grudge holder and it is a terrible burden. It's rooted in anger IMO. And of course, more prevalent in those of us who tend to take everything personally. I find this an especially hard thing to deal with at work. You are immersed daily, for hours, in a secular world where it is cutthroat. Just one of the many things that I give to God regularly - but not enough, so glad to see this post.

Pride does come into it.

[Constian]

Yes, definitely. I was raised by a very prideful father - another burden, lol. Sigh. Thank goodness God is patient.

[missmuffet]

8 minutes ago, Constian said:

Yes, definitely. I was raised by a very prideful father - another burden, lol. Sigh. Thank goodness God is patient.

But you do not have to be what your father was. Maybe a good lesson not to be like your father was.

[Constian]

Oh, I totally agree. But as with most sin, easier said than done. "Sins of the father" and all that.  I think we all struggle with traits we were taught as children.

[RustyAngeL]

13 hours ago, Heavenunlimited said:

And who say the bible anger is of, the antichrist. So clearly a flesh problem that has to be fixated on the stick.

Anger happens to all of us. Anger has nothing to do with the Antichrist. It is however our nature.  We are not to stay angry, and we are not to let the sun go down on our anger.  Letting go of it and letting God take the anger from us is what we need to do. Only through a relationship with God through Jesus Christ are we able to do this.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

[HisFirst]

Just now, Yowm said:

The last grudge I held ended up holding me

I can relate!

[Heavenunlimited]

4 hours ago, RustyAngeL said:

Anger happens to all of us. Anger has nothing to do with the Antichrist. It is however our nature.  We are not to stay angry, and we are not to let the sun go down on our anger.  Letting go of it and letting God take the anger from us is what we need to do. Only through a relationship with God through Jesus Christ are we able to do this.

Blessings, RustyAngeL

Paul say that anger is a fruit of the antichrist.. When mentioning the fruits..

[JTC]

8 hours ago, Constian said:

Yes, definitely. I was raised by a very prideful father - another burden, lol. Sigh. Thank goodness God is patient.

You don't have to be like your father. How? By bearing in mind that you don't want to be like him. A wise man told me that when I was 20 and it worked. My father had 4 brothers and they all had a terrible personality trait. They were judgemental. You might think they did nothing wrong but they all did plenty of things wrong. #1 in my opinion was to raise us with their sins. They messed us up and at 20 I was speaking to a wise older man. I told him I didn't want to be like my father and I used to worry about. He told me what I told you. It's not easy but being a Christian is not easy. This is the same thing. My father was critical and judgmental and yet he often did the same things. 40 yrs ago I decided I didn't want to be like him and I'm not. I have my faults for sure but they aren't the same ones him and his brothers taught us. They had another dumb saying. "Do what I say not what I do". Any smart parent knows children learn from example. God set it up this way. If the father obeys Jesus and patterns himself after the Lord then his son will pattern himself after his earthly father who is doing what Jesus used to do. This is how humans are. The younger you are when you realize what you want your personality to be like the better. But even old dogs can learn new tricks it's just harder. 

We can all teach ourselves not to hold grudges. Be honest with yourself, that's step 1. Once you admit to yourself that grudges is a problem for you that's the beginning of being rid of them. It all starts with self awareness. It can be done.