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I don't even know,  I don't really post this for an answer but rather just to get it of my heart because I have no one to share it with... 

I'm adopted. 19. South Africa is to expensive for me to live on my own and I have to study. I honestly have a really hard time. My adopted parents think I don't hear anything but I am so trained by hearing everything they say because I used to listen how my dad abuse my mom... Why do some people go trough the minimum and othershave to suffer all their life? Whenever I go to someone to talk to they just tell me: stop playing the victim. I don't want to hear that.  People don't understand. Why tell someone that went trough and abuse that struggle with finding love by people stop playing the victim... I don't even feel loves when people day that. My adopted parents children absolutely hate me. I hear them talk with my mom thst I'm not their sister. I'm not part of the family. It really hurts. I feel unwanted.. the youngest sibling bullies me..sometimes verbal but mostly by actions... her body language definitely talks. When I try to talk to my parents about my hurt they tell me it's all in my head. I know God is an answer but I sometimes just need a human to support me. Don't everyone deserve someone who cares. I go to sexual men online to just found someonethat will actually listen to me. I know it's dumb, they're the only people who stay. My parents notice that I get thinner but rather they'll tease me and say I look anorexic... but it's just weight I loose because of my emotions. I just wish people won't reject me so much. It really hurts. I have to study next year.  I got accepted in the university and my parents don't even believe that I'll make it... in one teaching thst I watched it said "your real parents can disown you but not your adopted parents" it seems so true for everyone but I feel like I am disowned but I still live here. Thanks for reading. 

 

 

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 I wonder how Jesus feels about this >especially< after giving His life like He did in loving you- yet, you, because of sinful human actions allow that influence to not feel loved? Are you born again with a new s/Spirit?

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Praying for you.

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On 20/08/2017 at 5:58 PM, Whisperpoetry said:

I don't even know,  I don't really post this for an answer but rather just to get it of my heart because I have no one to share it with... 

I'm adopted. 19. South Africa is to expensive for me to live on my own and I have to study. I honestly have a really hard time. My adopted parents think I don't hear anything but I am so trained by hearing everything they say because I used to listen how my dad abuse my mom... Why do some people go trough the minimum and othershave to suffer all their life? Whenever I go to someone to talk to they just tell me: stop playing the victim. I don't want to hear that.  People don't understand. Why tell someone that went trough and abuse that struggle with finding love by people stop playing the victim... I don't even feel loves when people day that. My adopted parents children absolutely hate me. I hear them talk with my mom thst I'm not their sister. I'm not part of the family. It really hurts. I feel unwanted.. the youngest sibling bullies me..sometimes verbal but mostly by actions... her body language definitely talks. When I try to talk to my parents about my hurt they tell me it's all in my head. I know God is an answer but I sometimes just need a human to support me. Don't everyone deserve someone who cares. I go to sexual men online to just found someonethat will actually listen to me. I know it's dumb, they're the only people who stay. My parents notice that I get thinner but rather they'll tease me and say I look anorexic... but it's just weight I loose because of my emotions. I just wish people won't reject me so much. It really hurts. I have to study next year.  I got accepted in the university and my parents don't even believe that I'll make it... in one teaching thst I watched it said "your real parents can disown you but not your adopted parents" it seems so true for everyone but I feel like I am disowned but I still live here. Thanks for reading. 

 

 

Hi WP,

I'm so sorry you are going through this and people not taking your problems seriously.

It doesn't sound like the ideal home life but I'm thinking that if you can persevere at home until you start studying and while at university, talk to the student counsellor/advisor on cheap student accommodation. I'm sure SA have services to that effect.

As for seeking sexual attention with men online, please stop:emot-hug: - it  is a destroyer to your integrity and character and the guilt is too heavy to bear in comparison to the cheap, shallow high and false sense of feeling loved and wanted - these kinds of online relationships are not based on faithfulness, commitment, trust, kindness, permanencey...they are based on being used for selfish purposes.

I hope I have helped:emot-heartbeat:

I'll keep you in prayer. x

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I'm so very sorry you are going through all of this...it hurts, I understand.  Please do know that the Lord Jesus loves you and wants to help you.

Can you find a loving church where the Bible is taught?   Loving Christians surrounding you, upholding you will help you immensely.  Once you are at University, seek out some good Christian friends that are walking with Jesus each day.   You will know they are Christians by their love and manner of life.

Jesus loves you.

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On 8/20/2017 at 7:58 AM, Whisperpoetry said:

I don't even know,  I don't really post this for an answer but rather just to get it of my heart because I have no one to share it with... 

I'm adopted. 19. South Africa is to expensive for me to live on my own and I have to study. I honestly have a really hard time. My adopted parents think I don't hear anything but I am so trained by hearing everything they say because I used to listen how my dad abuse my mom... Why do some people go trough the minimum and othershave to suffer all their life? Whenever I go to someone to talk to they just tell me: stop playing the victim. I don't want to hear that.  People don't understand. Why tell someone that went trough and abuse that struggle with finding love by people stop playing the victim... I don't even feel loves when people day that. My adopted parents children absolutely hate me. I hear them talk with my mom thst I'm not their sister. I'm not part of the family. It really hurts. I feel unwanted.. the youngest sibling bullies me..sometimes verbal but mostly by actions... her body language definitely talks. When I try to talk to my parents about my hurt they tell me it's all in my head. I know God is an answer but I sometimes just need a human to support me. Don't everyone deserve someone who cares. I go to sexual men online to just found someonethat will actually listen to me. I know it's dumb, they're the only people who stay. My parents notice that I get thinner but rather they'll tease me and say I look anorexic... but it's just weight I loose because of my emotions. I just wish people won't reject me so much. It really hurts. I have to study next year.  I got accepted in the university and my parents don't even believe that I'll make it... in one teaching thst I watched it said "your real parents can disown you but not your adopted parents" it seems so true for everyone but I feel like I am disowned but I still live here. Thanks for reading.

 

Edited by lftc
just realized how old the topic was
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On 8/20/2017 at 3:58 AM, Whisperpoetry said:

I don't even know,  I don't really post this for an answer but rather just to get it of my heart because I have no one to share it with... 

I'm adopted. 19. South Africa is to expensive for me to live on my own and I have to study. I honestly have a really hard time. My adopted parents think I don't hear anything but I am so trained by hearing everything they say because I used to listen how my dad abuse my mom... Why do some people go trough the minimum and othershave to suffer all their life? Whenever I go to someone to talk to they just tell me: stop playing the victim. I don't want to hear that.  People don't understand. Why tell someone that went trough and abuse that struggle with finding love by people stop playing the victim... I don't even feel loves when people day that. My adopted parents children absolutely hate me. I hear them talk with my mom thst I'm not their sister. I'm not part of the family. It really hurts. I feel unwanted.. the youngest sibling bullies me..sometimes verbal but mostly by actions... her body language definitely talks. When I try to talk to my parents about my hurt they tell me it's all in my head. I know God is an answer but I sometimes just need a human to support me. Don't everyone deserve someone who cares. I go to sexual men online to just found someonethat will actually listen to me. I know it's dumb, they're the only people who stay. My parents notice that I get thinner but rather they'll tease me and say I look anorexic... but it's just weight I loose because of my emotions. I just wish people won't reject me so much. It really hurts. I have to study next year.  I got accepted in the university and my parents don't even believe that I'll make it... in one teaching thst I watched it said "your real parents can disown you but not your adopted parents" it seems so true for everyone but I feel like I am disowned but I still live here. Thanks for reading. 

 

 

There is a balance between overcoming your circumstances and letting Jesus Christ heal your wounds. Ask Jesus for healing!

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On 8/20/2017 at 8:58 AM, Whisperpoetry said:

Don't everyone deserve someone who cares. I go to sexual men online to just found someonethat will actually listen to me. I know it's dumb, they're the only people who stay. My parents notice that I get thinner but rather they'll tease me and say I look anorexic... but it's just weight I loose because of my emotions. I just wish people won't reject me so much.

I can only say pray about it and also work on your relationships and tune them and refine them. Its a lot easier to do that then you might think. I did it myself i talk to all my family and i have had a terrible history with most of them.

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