Should I have a smaller wedding?

[Jburley]

Me and my wife eloped 5 years ago in our kitchen. We were new in our faith and got married because of God but technically not under God. We had a woman marry us so it was all very quick and unformal. Now we always agreed to have an actual wedding but we have tried planning and failed to complete everything for the 3rd time this year since we 1st tried in 2013. This time around we have already put a deposit on a venue and have already paid in full on everything except for cake, photographer and DJ. My best man had a very intimate wedding with his wife at our old church building. He believes that we shouldn't spend the money on our wedding and that we should do something small and intimate to Glorify God like he did. Of course hearing this hurts but I understand here he coming from. However I cant shake the fact that everyone else I know except for 1 other couple had a large formal wedding and got married in faith. I feel like we are being robbed of our moment but I dont want to be vain and get married just because, I want to have something nice to look back on. I don't see the issue but maybe it's my flesh talking. I need advice and prayer because I'm starting to feel depressed about the situation. Could it be jealousy or are we really dishonoring the Lord by have a "large" wedding?

[BK1110]

Ask your friend to show you in scripture the verses that say you shouldn't have a large wedding or that at least pertain to this issue in some way. I can't think of any.

God knows you and your wife's hearts on the matter.

[Sinbad]

Hi and welcome to worthy I'm no expert however it's a celebration and commitment for you both it's up to you both what size of wedding you want and what you budget for just keep in mind it's your wedding your day 

[GandalfTheWise]

There are two aspects to a wedding.  There is the actual wedding ceremony and there is the celebrating it with friends and family.  Different people choose to do it differently.  Some people wish to focus on the ceremony and keep it intimate with close friends and close relatives.  Others would like to focus on the celebration and getting together with friends and family and make it a joyous occasion.

Unless you're going into serious debt over it, I don't see an issue with either way of doing it.

[missmuffet]

18 hours ago, Jburley said:

Me and my wife eloped 5 years ago in our kitchen. We were new in our faith and got married because of God but technically not under God. We had a woman marry us so it was all very quick and unformal. Now we always agreed to have an actual wedding but we have tried planning and failed to complete everything for the 3rd time this year since we 1st tried in 2013. This time around we have already put a deposit on a venue and have already paid in full on everything except for cake, photographer and DJ. My best man had a very intimate wedding with his wife at our old church building. He believes that we shouldn't spend the money on our wedding and that we should do something small and intimate to Glorify God like he did. Of course hearing this hurts but I understand here he coming from. However I cant shake the fact that everyone else I know except for 1 other couple had a large formal wedding and got married in faith. I feel like we are being robbed of our moment but I dont want to be vain and get married just because, I want to have something nice to look back on. I don't see the issue but maybe it's my flesh talking. I need advice and prayer because I'm starting to feel depressed about the situation. Could it be jealousy or are we really dishonoring the Lord by have a "large" wedding?

It is your choice but if I were married 5 years ago and not with a genuine pastor I would have a smaller intimate ceremony. I agree with your best man. What is the purpose of this big and expensive wedding that you want? You need to ask yourself that. What is most important the vows that you and your husband are taking or the wedding? Perhaps you and your husband need to give this to God and ask Him what would glorify Him.

[Willa]

It is not what anyone else wants but what you want.  I wanted a small but formal wedding but we aren't fond of big gatherings of any type.  If you are very social and enjoy big gatherings, go for it.  You really shouldn't feel guilty unless you are going in debt over it all.  That is never good.  We are to own no man anything except love.

[Newbie]

On 03/11/2017 at 4:27 AM, Jburley said:

Me and my wife eloped 5 years ago in our kitchen. We were new in our faith and got married because of God but technically not under God. We had a woman marry us so it was all very quick and unformal. Now we always agreed to have an actual wedding but we have tried planning and failed to complete everything for the 3rd time this year since we 1st tried in 2013. This time around we have already put a deposit on a venue and have already paid in full on everything except for cake, photographer and DJ. My best man had a very intimate wedding with his wife at our old church building. He believes that we shouldn't spend the money on our wedding and that we should do something small and intimate to Glorify God like he did. Of course hearing this hurts but I understand here he coming from. However I cant shake the fact that everyone else I know except for 1 other couple had a large formal wedding and got married in faith. I feel like we are being robbed of our moment but I dont want to be vain and get married just because, I want to have something nice to look back on. I don't see the issue but maybe it's my flesh talking. I need advice and prayer because I'm starting to feel depressed about the situation. Could it be jealousy or are we really dishonoring the Lord by have a "large" wedding?

                                                                                                             My two cents:

There is nothing wrong with a large wedding or a small wedding. What is important in a wedding? The most important thing in a wedding is that the bride and groom love eachother, nothing else matters. The only argument against a large wedding that I can think of is if you cannot afford it and if it will send you into dept. If however you are able to afford it financially, I can find no logical argument or Biblical Scripture against a large wedding. I think that is between the bride, the groom, and God, nobody else. 

[Aimes]

I think it's a matter of personal opinion. I for one, should I ever get married, want something VERY small; but to have a larger get together later on to celebrate. I've never been a fan of the spot light and a large wedding is just something I would hate. However, a good majority of my friends have had large weddings and spent loads of money doing so. No way is wrong or dishonoring to God, just depends on the people and what they want. 

Edited November 9, 2017 by TheAimes

[missmuffet]

What is sometimes nice if a person chooses to have a very small wedding. Perhaps only the bride and groom and the two people who stand up for them is have a nice reception after the wedding. That way you are not spending hardly anything on the wedding and put out a few bucks for a reception that all your friends can wish you well.