how do you feel about close friends not attending a wedding or a funeral?

[Still Alive]

On ‎5‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 10:42 PM, Equippers said:

the dead don't care, they are dead? actually, they are in heaven right now, so of course they CARE!

the harder it is you me to be offended by others? judging by your tone, it seems you are very offended by what i wrote

i can't expect them to have the exact same values as me? so why are you so aggressive?

you stop judging what others do? well what are you doing in your response exactly?

I'm not being aggressive, and I'm not judging others. I'm sharing an opinion and being frank. It's my MO. You can do what you want.

And the dead are in Sheol/Hades. Their level of consciousness is a matter of opinion based on what the bible says about it and one's interpretation of that. Apparently our opinions differ.

 

You are reading way too much between the lines in my post. It's hard to glean an "attitude" from the written word. Only 20% of communication is the words. The rest is not possible to share here without smileys, so I use them when appropriate.

 

[Neighbor]

And then; there was the time the decedent almost failed to show up for the funeral.

I was all of 19, and had finished my fourth family limo run of the day, arriving back at the Mortuary Chapel just about 15 minutes before that last service to help the director, my immediate boss. Just a few minutes before the 3PM start time my boss said, "D. no one has come, you know the pastor, I'm leaving  it to you, if the family shows, meet them and run the funeral it ends right here as it will be followed by cremation. If no one shows you cue up pastor he will speak and you will attend." Yes sir.

Just four minutes before the funeral the family of six arrived. A man identified himself, said they were the only ones so please go ahead, but he hadn't seen Uncle Fred in several years. So I escorted him up to the casket where  in a flat monotone voice  I heard these words;

"I haven't seen uncle Fred in a long time;... but I know he didn't lose that much weight,.... in fact that's not him." 

 

 

 

[walla299]

On 5/15/2018 at 1:24 AM, Equippers said:

a while back i had someone from mine extended family passed on.

<snip>

i definitely think that people has right to be offended by a close friends not attending a wedding unless they have a good reason and unable to attend. 

First: What Ayin Jade said.

Second: I was on the receiving end of this sort of judgement from other family members.

I was in the Air Force at the time, and on a long leave visiting my younger bother in West Australia when our father passed away from a long illness so it was not unexpected. My brother and his wife had twins a few months before and had little spare cash. It was the mid 1980's and therefore in the age before cell phones and Skype. We didn't know he'd passed away until almost a three weeks later when at letter arrived from the US and I was due to board the train for Sydney and my flight home in 2 more days. I checked to see if I could get an earlier flight, but the logistics were against it. My sister called me long distance -- after she had spread the rumor that my brother and I didn't care and all that. We both missed the funeral, needless to say. There are a few family members who still will not speak to us because of that.

Snap judgements a bad idea because we can't possibly know another person's heart. Frankly, if someone doesn't (or can't) show up for a funeral its their business.