progressing past others

[creativemechanic]

i heard this illustration  at our schools  graduation  and found it intriguing. The speaker was advising the kids to continually progress and gave this supposedly  true story to illustrate.

A man's girlfriend started to attend  university. so every evening he  dutifully leave playing dominoes with his friends to take her to class and return.  Eventually, she graduated but he didnt progress academically in any way . Eventually she started to gravitate away from him  because he wasn't at her academic  and conversation level anymore and went towards towards men who were. This led to some jealousy from him.

 Eventually  they broke up. 
Two school of thought from the village where they lived.
??‍♀- She real cruel. Imagine she left him after he put her through school.
??‍♂-Its his fault that she left. While she was developing he kept at the stage of playing dominoes and didn't step up to her level

Ive actually heard of this happening  before too. where women leave their boy friends  who theycwerecfine with after finishing a course of study  saying they  we're no longer compatible. I even heard a woman say she doesn't want  a man woth a lower degree if she gets her Masters. 

 while all the examples are femaleit's not meant to woman bash . it could be both make it female. My qns are-is  such a break off justified and how abt if they were married 

[Jayne]

1 hour ago, Yowm said:

How'd he 'put her through school when all he was doing was slappin down dem bones'? LOL

That's exactly what I thought.  If all he is doing is playing dominoes, he didn't do anything for her except act as a taxi driver.

She put herself through school.

[Jayne]

Seriously though, people grow and change.  And that sometimes does affect a relationship.

There's nothing wrong with a person - I'm talking about marriage here - who wants to experience personal growth in terms of education, spiritual awakening, artistic endeavors, and more.

As long as that person stays grounded in the marital relationship and keeps that front and center, things should be fine.  It's when the "growing" spouse becomes self-absorbed that things can crumble.

 

[Willa]

Sometimes it is the pride of life that causes a person to think they have surpassed their spouse.  You can also call it the pride of education.  Instead of understanding that they compliment each other they start thinking one is superior to the other.   I had people stop speaking to me because they graduated from a private college and I from a state college.  But I know many guys that had their wives put them through college and then dumped them as soon as they graduated.  It had more to do with using people.  It takes as much effort to make a marriage work as it does to graduate from college.  Marriages take time, communication, appreciation, and they need to be cultivated.

I have to admit that I went back to college after our kids were in grade school and it felt awfully good to communicate  in multi syllable words.  But I never felt that way toward my husband.  He had excelled in math and I in languages.  We complimented each other.  We need to value and appreciate each others gifts.

My dad had a masters degree and my mom a high school diploma.  But their marriage was till death as was mine. 

[Willa]

1 minute ago, Yowm said:

A husband's one-syllable vocabulary to his wife..."yes dear". LOL

I just wish our pre school sons had learned to say that instead of "no!"  They were a hand full, but well worth the effort.  

[frienduff thaylorde]

19 minutes ago, Willa said:

Sometimes it is the pride of life that causes a person to think they have surpassed their spouse.  You can also call it the pride of education.  Instead of understanding that they compliment each other they start thinking one is superior to the other.   I had people stop speaking to me because they graduated from a private college and I from a state college.  But I know many guys that had their wives put them through college and then dumped them as soon as they graduated.  It had more to do with using people.  It takes as much effort to make a marriage work as it does to graduate from college.  Marriages take time, communication, appreciation, and they need to be cultivated.

I have to admit that I went back to college after our kids were in grade school and it felt awfully good to communicate  in multi syllable words.  But I never felt that way toward my husband.  He had excelled in math and I in languages.  We complimented each other.  We need to value and appreciate each others gifts.

My dad had a masters degree and my mom a high school diploma.  But their marriage was till death as was mine. 

PRAISE THE LORD WILLA .  I AM HAPPY you all stayed married the whole time .   You loved sister .   Throw those hands up and praise the LORD .

[Neighbor]

11 hours ago, creativemechanic said:

i heard this illustration  at our schools  graduation  and found it intriguing. The speaker was advising the kids to continually progress and gave this supposedly  true story to illustrate.

A man's girlfriend started to attend  university. so every evening he  dutifully leave playing dominoes with his friends to take her to class and return.  Eventually, she graduated but he didnt progress academically in any way . Eventually she started to gravitate away from him  because he wasn't at her academic  and conversation level anymore and went towards towards men who were. This led to some jealousy from him.

 Eventually  they broke up. 
Two school of thought from the village where they lived.
??‍♀- She real cruel. Imagine she left him after he put her through school.
??‍♂-Its his fault that she left. While she was developing he kept at the stage of playing dominoes and didn't step up to her level

Ive actually heard of this happening  before too. where women leave their boy friends  who theycwerecfine with after finishing a course of study  saying they  we're no longer compatible. I even heard a woman say she doesn't want  a man woth a lower degree if she gets her Masters. 

 while all the examples are femaleit's not meant to woman bash . it could be both make it female. My qns are-is  such a break off justified and how abt if they were married 

This was part of a speakers presentation at a school graduation story? ??? What was the underlying message- The guy that brought you to the dance owns you?

Duty does not make for ownership. If one chooses to dutifully do something, it should be in the name of Christ Jesus to bring glory to God, and that is its own reward. It does not carry with it the purchase price for another person's being. It is silly to think one owns another person for being kind to them, even if they  are dating. Moving on is probably the safest thing for the partner being the target  of such an attempt at dominating possession. 

 

 

Edited July 11, 2018 by Neighbor

[The_Patriot21]

Well, theres some truth to be learned for this. For a couple to stay together they need to have something in common. For some people its education. My wife has a far higher level of education then i do, and continues to increase it. I on the other hand have no interest in further education. But, on the same note i have a solid idea of what shes talking about from self study. 

Couples do need to have common ground....and for some education is important, and is that common ground. In the above scenario its probably best for both parties that she left, a further relationship probably would have ended disastrously. Now they are both able to seek partners who share common goals.

[The_Patriot21]

Well, theres some truth to be learned for this. For a couple to stay together they need to have something in common. For some people its education. My wife has a far higher level of education then i do, and continues to increase it. I on the other hand have no interest in further education. But, on the same note i have a solid idea of what shes talking about from self study. 

Couples do need to have common ground....and for some education is important, and is that common ground. In the above scenario its probably best for both parties that she left, a further relationship probably would have ended disastrously. Now they are both able to seek partners who share common goals