Lost Another Friend to Death

[JTC]

I'm one of the members with no family and almost no friends left. It wasn't always like this prior to the year 2000 I had people around me. I'm in my 60's and I found as we get older it gets harder to meet new people, especially when you're sick and can't get around.

Two weeks ago I met a woman my age on the bus. This is rare so I tried to be friendly. She lived in my building so it sounded good. A week later she lost a 20 yr friend to cancer. I knew she was depressed as that's only normal. But I think 2 nights later she ended her life, I'm not sure yet. I might have been able to stop her if I realized she was going to do that. But I didn't. I thought I was finally going to have a friend again. I'm still in shock over this. I saw her last Thursday and I called her Friday but she didn't call back. I went to her apt. on Sat and no one saw her since Thursday. I called the police who then called the fire dept and they climbed in somehow. She was in there but she wasn't alive. We weren't allowed in as they were waiting for a medical examiner. I left for 20 minutes and in that time they took her out. I'm not even sure how to find out exactly what happened. I feel sad, but also guilty because if I had gone there Friday she might still be alive. I think we would have been good friends. I want to find out what happened but I don't know how.

I don't have anyone else to talk to about this so I made this post. Most folks don't understand being totally alone. In the last 17 years I lost so many family and friends to death or they moved that I'm alone. I keep praying for a friend and I thought I finally got one. I guess she might be better off because she was sad over her friend who died from cancer. It's all so very confusing and death always is.

Thank you for letting me post this.

[Adstar]

You where not to know.. Often people put on such a calm and peaceful outer exterior that they are very effective in hiding their inner turmoil..  Yes and human friends are very hard to find in this world these days.. I hope you do find a friend. I hope to find one too. But we have the LORD Jesus as a true friend indeed.. And when things like this happens that's when we need Him the most..

[enoob57]

Matt 12:48-50

48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?

49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!

50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
KJV

I don't understand why you do not find attachment as family to The Church... I have!

[Debp]

JTC, so sorry to hear this.  Please do not blame yourself for not checking on her on Friday.   You had no way of knowing....also, she might have died of natural causes.

Please keep hope that you will soon find another friend in your neighborhood.  God bless.

[JTC]

Steven, there are no churches around here.This is not an area where many people believe in God, at least not the way we do. There are several Catholic churches but that's it. I should have tried harder to move when I still had a car and could get around. But I was working a lot back then and didn't feel like apt. hunting.

I thought Linda was an answer to prayer. I just want a friend and she said that was what she wanted too. We were both in our late 60's so things are different at this age. I'm just tired of being alone and for 2 weeks I didn't think I'd be so alone anymore. Even Linda found it hard to believe I've been alone 17 yrs but I have.

I still haven't been able to find out how she died. I know her health wasn't great neither but I don't know what issues she had. I didn't know her well enough yet. It just was nice to know I had someone to speak to every couple of days. That's gone now and I'm sad. It's going to take awhile for this to pass. Too many people have died in the last 17 yrs. I wish God would take me but for some unknown reason He wants me here.

[JTC]

Thanks BrutalHeart, I've been checking the online obituaries everyday and so far there's nothing. Thanks.

[Debp]

JTC, keep in touch with us here, your friends.  Let us know if you find out anything or get to attend her memorial service.

[Neighbor]

On 7/16/2018 at 8:26 AM, JTC said:

I'm one of the members with no family and almost no friends left. It wasn't always like this prior to the year 2000 I had people around me. I'm in my 60's and I found as we get older it gets harder to meet new people, especially when you're sick and can't get around.

Two weeks ago I met a woman my age on the bus. This is rare so I tried to be friendly. She lived in my building so it sounded good. A week later she lost a 20 yr friend to cancer. I knew she was depressed as that's only normal. But I think 2 nights later she ended her life, I'm not sure yet. I might have been able to stop her if I realized she was going to do that. But I didn't. I thought I was finally going to have a friend again. I'm still in shock over this. I saw her last Thursday and I called her Friday but she didn't call back. I went to her apt. on Sat and no one saw her since Thursday. I called the police who then called the fire dept and they climbed in somehow. She was in there but she wasn't alive. We weren't allowed in as they were waiting for a medical examiner. I left for 20 minutes and in that time they took her out. I'm not even sure how to find out exactly what happened. I feel sad, but also guilty because if I had gone there Friday she might still be alive. I think we would have been good friends. I want to find out what happened but I don't know how.

I don't have anyone else to talk to about this so I made this post. Most folks don't understand being totally alone. In the last 17 years I lost so many family and friends to death or they moved that I'm alone. I keep praying for a friend and I thought I finally got one. I guess she might be better off because she was sad over her friend who died from cancer. It's all so very confusing and death always is.

Thank you for letting me post this.

Hi, Sorry JTC.

Sorry for the hurt you feel at this time.

 I won't try to minimize it, nor talk you out of it. Least not at this time. You have some cyber friends here. I am one, for you are my friend. I appreciate your integrity  and your sharing on the worthy Forums too.

I also have empathy for your situation, for it is hard and gets a bit harder it seems. Plus there are moments of hope that become missteps or  incomplete steps. And those kinda add to the load.

Sorry for the loss of your new friend. Please try not to mix that sense of loss which is real, with a sense of personal guilt, which is not real and not justified, over imagination over what might have been - those "if onlys" can do great damage, don't please don't indulge them.

May God send extra angels to be with you and to protect you at this time. Amen.

[JTC]

About 20 yrs I came to believe that no one dies unless God allows it. I know that can be hard to see but I think it's true. So I guess it was Linda's time to go. I'm starting to get used to her being gone, but she was a good friend even though I only knew her 2 weeks. I have to get past this so I gave up trying to learn how she died.

Thank you to everyone who responded. I certainly need online friends since I have none in person. I'll be posting again soon.

[Neighbor]

Online friends are as dear as pen pals of old were; some of the very best of friends, the very best!