Anxiety, bitterness, anger towards MIL

[dodoconway79]

I have so many negative thoughts towards my mother in law. I have worked through some, but the simple fact of the matter is... I don't want her in my life. She is a good mother to my son. She is a good grandmother to my children. But she turned on me nearly 5 years ago and garnered support from the entire family... she triangulated every conversation we had and used passive aggressive methods to jab at me any chance she got. She even sent out a Christmas card last year with every single family member but me on it. The photos included all the couples except us. The one picture she posted of my husband was of him eating with herself and husband at a restaurant. It looked very much like we were divorced.
Every time I think of her, hate fills my heart. I know this is a sin. I pray daily to forgive her. I know I won't be forgiven by God until I do.
It's getting better, but still- I do not want her in my life. I want NONE of them in my life.
I get physically sick thinking about Christmas.
My husband says he does not expect me to go, but then I feel guilty for being a bad influence on my kids.
but then I think "Why should I expose myself to this? It is clear I am not wanted there.
And then I get mad at my husband because I feel so totally alone in this and unsupported.
I don't know what to do.
This is such a wedge between us.
But it's not fair for me to insist he doesn't go to his parents' house for Christmas. 
And if I do not go, it will look really bad on me and look like my husband and I are divided.

I just want to be left alone.
I don't want them in my life.
Ever.
Help? What do I do?
I am feeling so trapped and sick over this.

 

[1to3]

5 hours ago, dodoconway79 said:

I just want to be left alone.
I don't want them in my life.
Ever.
Help? What do I do?
I am feeling so trapped and sick over this.

Sorry to hear this about what you are going through. Its sure not nice on the part of your MIL to be playing this hurtful game. If she saved?

I can imagine it can't be easy, but if it is any consolation, remember what Jesus said: If they hate you, know they hated me first.

Also remember when they were crucifying Him, Christ said forgive them Father for they know not what they do.

Pray before you meet you MIL and ask God to forgive her, that can open the door to her heart for to allow His plan of salvation to penetrate her heart.

Pray for those who attack you without a cause.Recognize they are lost and don'T know any better.

When you know better, you do better.

But God watches and sees the hearts of people.

Vengence is His to take, all we are to do is bring our need to Him and he will look into them and  problem solve them. Trust Him, and if you don't yet trust in Him, pray to Him and ask Him to show you more how to trust in Him. He will sow you.

In this situation you are in, the best thing for you is to privately pray to God to give you counsel on this situation.

Also take heed from proverbs 3:56 and do not rely on your own understanding but stand by every Word from God to align your thoughts and actions with and He is faithful to direct your path in a godly problem solving direction.

Remember Christ said that in this world we will have strife but to not despair , but be assured to rest in peace with Him, because He has overcome the World and His peace if we seek it faithfully by aligning our lives with His Word and having a daily relationship with Him, will be recompensed by His rest and His peace living in us.

God can rescue you where no man can and He can grant you peace of mind that no ma can.

If your mind is trouble now remember its not coming from God.

When you are feeling hate,anxiety, bitterness,anger, remember its not coming from a good place, its coming from the enemy trying to attack you.

God says that in Him we should not be anxious,nor should we fear or get angry, but when you feel that way to bring everything to Him in prayer and supplication.

Philippians 4:6-7

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Of course it can happen that we stumble on these, but we can also as quickly rebuke these thoughts in the Blood name of Jesus and instead look to positive scripture to overcome. Also ask God to take away your anxiety, anger bitterness toward the people you feel these. I promises you He will help remove from you these worries: anxiety, anger bitterness. Just you have to let go and place them on the cross with Christ Jesus as they if you persist holding onto them by keeping them within you, can only harm you and your health down the line.

Don't give this MIL and other mean spirited peeps, any free rent in your head, instead, pray for their salvation and give them to God for Him to deal with them.

With Gods help, He will show you how to handle the situation with His Mercy and Grace. Then you will also be a good example to your children as to how a Godly mother conducts herself in the face of adversaries.

Not saying that its easy at first glance, but when you begin to let go and let God handle the situation, you will find the Grace & Mercy in you to handle the situation with Godly aplomb.

God Bless you dear sister in Christ.

Remember with Him as your guide you are an over comer and conqueror.

I say these things because i also have had my share of challenges, and know the God can and will help if only He were thought. ?

 

 

 

 

[discipler777]

11 hours ago, dodoconway79 said:

I have so many negative thoughts towards my mother in law. I have worked through some, but the simple fact of the matter is... I don't want her in my life. She is a good mother to my son. She is a good grandmother to my children. But she turned on me nearly 5 years ago and garnered support from the entire family...

This is such a wedge between us.
But it's not fair for me to insist he doesn't go to his parents' house for Christmas. 
And if I do not go, it will look really bad on me and look like my husband and I are divided.

.

GENESIS.2:14 (NKJV) = 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

.

Seems you and your MIL are tussling over the affections of your husband aka her son. You need to stake your claim over your husband's affections/love against your MIL as per the Word of God above.

To love God is foremost or paramount. God has commanded your husband to first love you as his ownself(= his mother can be second) and you to submit to his headship or leadership.(EPHESIANS.5:22-33) OTOH, your husband should honor his mother and father by ensuring that they live long on this earth.(EXODUS.20:12)

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Edited December 22, 2018 by discipler777

[appy]

Forgiveness means that in your heart and mind, you will not harbor anger, bitterness or resentment towards the wrong doer or remain angry and upset. Or continue to hold the wrong doing against them in your heart. If you are constantly recalling the person in your heart and becoming angry and sullen and wish the person ill will in your heart every time you think of them, you haven't forgiven the person. Forgiveness is for the victims benefit NOT the wrong doer's benefit.

You can either move on with your life or remain angry and bitter. Remaining angry or bitter will eat away at you, robbing you of peace and joy. Forgiveness, means you will no longer remain angry or hold a grudge. It does not mean that the person who is abusive is escaping responsibility. It is that you are doing what God told you to do and that is that you let the wrong doer off of your hook...doesn't mean the other person is off of God's hook. God will deal with that person.

There's no greater blessing than a personal relationship with Jesus and this is what Jesus meant when he told us to pray for others and to bless those who curse us. Praying instead for God to bless others as he did us allows God to soften our hearts towards those who hate us or hurt us, so that we will have a Godly compassion on others and remove the anger and bitterness from our hearts. Forgiveness releases YOU from the pain you have experienced. But as long as you harbor resentment towards others you will never be free from it. The Lord told us to forgive others because he first forgave us our sins against him. If we are unwilling to forgive others, he is unwilling to forgive us. We need NOT to dwell in the past, but move forward into the present and future to the call of our Lord and Savior.

[Justin Adams]

Forgiveness is an act of will. If you do not, you will suffer and (as in my case) the children will pick up on your attitude. No good thing comes from anger or bitterness, especially in your case.

Be only angry at the Adversary, because he engineers this kind of thing. Prevent him from succeeding. 

If you husband is a man and you give it all over to the Lord God, then miracles can happen. If you harbor ill-will that will probably prevent your husband from hearing God's directions. You prayers may be hampered.

This kind of poison (in my case) led to being totally rejected by ALL my family on her side.

That is a lonely road to embrace, but embrace it I have.

If you can, do not let it get that far. Submission to your husband is a very POWERFUL tool in the Hand of the Lord. Try no to circumvent God' plans by your emotions. Choose the right WAY.

 

[Willa]

There are many good answers here.  But I have to confess that the reason behind my unforgiveness toward my father in law was self righteousness.  By my holding unforgiveness toward him I became like him, and not any better than him.  Eventually when I forgave him I was able to love him as God did, with a pity for him because without Christ we all are dirty rotten sinners.  Each time I was around him and he did something else that was so offensive, I had to work through forgiving him again and get my attitude right with God.  I wouldn't want to be in your shoes again, but it did serve to humble me.  We all are so dependent on God's grace.