Feeling hopeless

[Tzephanyahu]

58 minutes ago, F_Ivan said:

I deal with fear alot. How do I know the fear isn't just me causing unnecessary problems, the enemy, or from God?

Fear will come from you.

But if Yahweh is not comforting you with His Spirit, it may be that He is intentionally leaving you to it, to "shake" you out of your current mindset. And look, you are on here now asking questions, so it must have worked. 

The truth is that there should be only one thing we fear and that's Yahweh alone. Once we deeply understand that, we have found the beginning of wisdom, and all other fears seem to fade away. 

Consider this passage and meditate upon it. Isaiah 45:5-7. If He is for you, who and what can be against you? 

May I ask if you fear realistic threats or potential developments? Is it mainly about heaven and hell? 

[F_Ivan]

17 hours ago, Tzephanyahu said:

Fear will come from you.

But if Yahweh is not comforting you with His Spirit, it may be that He is intentionally leaving you to it, to "shake" you out of your current mindset. And look, you are on here now asking questions, so it must have worked. 

The truth is that there should be only one thing we fear and that's Yahweh alone. Once we deeply understand that, we have found the beginning of wisdom, and all other fears seem to fade away. 

Consider this passage and meditate upon it. Isaiah 45:5-7. If He is for you, who and what can be against you? 

May I ask if you fear realistic threats or potential developments? Is it mainly about heaven and hell? 

Thank you so much for helping me,

I was diagnosed with Obessive Compulsive Disorder a while ago and I am on medication. The fears I would say are potential developments

I Worry about what I think a ton, like worrying about even having intrusive thoughts of apostasy, "did you really repent?" blasphemy, rebellion against god, or even fearing doubting too much, etc.

If you believe God has abandoned you, won't forgive you, or doesnt love you anymore, you are not trusting who god really is right? I told my dad these fears and that is what he said to me. I Keep getting tormented by fears such as "you dont actually care about god enough, you're probably going to become an apostate" "you arent truly repentant" "god will never accept you because of your double mind" "its too late, youre doomed to move further away from god every day" "youve doubted too much already, its too late""you distrust god too much and he has abandoned you because of this, its too late".

I hate to admit it but I think my faith is weak, maybe thats the main problem.

 I really dont think these fears are from God, God wouldn't instill a fear in to me based on distrust that only pulls me further away from god by entertaining these fears. I think they're either my OCD or the enemy because I suspiciously get them most when im at work or doing something  (my attention is divided) so it makes it hard to defend against those thoughrs or try to differentiate if they're actually trying to tell me something important or if its just my overly doubting/distrustful mind/aka useless thoughts or the enemy. 

[F_Ivan]

@Tzephanyahu

Sorry If I'm  repeating myself. I felt horrible even typing all that because it feels like im feeding fears/doubts/sin/worthless thoughts

Edited November 20, 2019 by F_Ivan

[Raven]

@F_Ivan, you have it all back to front.

Truth (honesty to yourself) will set you free from all your fears. Truth does not hurt, neither is it suffering. All that hurts is your ego squirming to its own truth of invalidity. The ego is nothing but your self fabricated story about your self. All your fears are about its truth. That is why the ego always seeks validity, for it knows it is invalid.f It fears that honesty will reveal that it is nothing but a story of self-identity. It is based on what your body and mind has done in this distorted world. Your perception of suffering is not about being honest, but being dishonest to yourself.

Don't fear or love the body. It is not who you are. You have a body, but you are not the body. You are a spiritual being with a body. Similar to you having a car to get around in, but you are not the car. When the car dies, you can either stay and die with the car or get out of the car. It all depends if you believe you are a car or not. Christianity is about learning the Truth about who we really are, and why we are here. All our suffering, guilt, shame, and all other forms of fear stems from believing we are the body.

[Tzephanyahu]

Shalom @F_Ivan

Ah, I see.  I wasn’t aware you were currently suffering with OCD (I say currently because the Lord can bring healing, as He has with many others).  

Now, whilst your fears and accusations may seem reasonable, your conclusion is illogical.  

Let’s think this through rationally... Would an apostate be deeply conflicted inside and hurt over such thoughts?  Or would he believe those thoughts and reinforce them with his actions gladly?  

Understand that we ALL get conflicted with the contradictory thoughts in our heart.  Even very famous pastors have the same challenges from time to time, as our sinful flesh constantly seeks it's own selfish life away from God.  For this fleshly-shell we are wearing has no plans to follow God and cannot.  Rather it seeks its own selfish comfort and satisfaction.  But our spirit-man wants the opposite – seeking to serve and worship our Creator.  And so, we have a conflict within us, a war.  With this in mind, again, read and meditate upon Romans 7:14-8:11.

But what does the Father think of you?  No man can say.  But consider this example, which may be from Him, through me, to you:

Imagine you grow older and have a very, very successful business.  You adopt two sons, with your wife, to inherit your business one day.  The first son grows up to be quite rebellious and proud, the second son grows up to be fairly quiet and introverted.  
One day, whilst alone in the house, you sneak into the first son’s bedroom and cheekily read his diary.  It’s filled with thoughts reading “I deserve my dad’s business! I’m awesome, man.  I have everything going for me and surely dad loves me more than my brother.  Dad probably thinks about how he loves me all day!  So I’m more than worthy to get the business – gimme the keys already! Hehe”.  
You sneak into your second son’s bedroom and find his diary also.  It reads “I’m not worthy.  How can dad even love me?  I’m always making mistakes and I’m foolish. I wish I could be better for him but I doubt myself and, sometimes, I doubt he even loves me at all.  Maybe he will even kick me out of his house one day.”

When you read the above, do you move with anger or compassion towards the second son?  If compassion, what then, are you more merciful than God?

The irrational thoughts of the heart may try and steer you away from Him, as the Scripture says: “The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable – who can understand it?” ~ Jer 17:9

But your words and actions are what count, as Scripture confirms: “I, Yahweh, examine the mind (your diary), I test the heart to give to each according to his way, according to what his actions deserve” ~ Jer 17:10

Therefore, when thoughts arise to condemn you, take the opportunity to repent of the charges they bring against you, once and sincerely.   Then, when they repeat, you can rest comfortably knowing that your Father sees the struggles in your “diary” and has compassion on you.  Don't fight the thoughts just write them off as "irrelevant" and they will flee eventually. 

He only judges you according to your words and actions – not on your irrational thoughts.  Your sincere words of repentance on a matter, and the actions than follow, will be recorded before Him - not your thoughts.

6 hours ago, F_Ivan said:

I hate to admit it but I think my faith is weak, maybe thats the main problem.

Your faith is not as weak as you think.  Because if you fear Him and what your destiny will be, you show that you have faith in the things which are unseen.  

But you have a problem which many others have, and I had once before.  You think that Yahweh only sees you when you are doing something bad or thinking something evil, but not when you are doing something good or praying to Him....

Do you really believe He hears your prayers my friend?  If you say no, then I challenge you, insult Him aloud right now!  What, you don’t want to do it?  Doesn’t this prove my point above?  You think He only hears and sees when your are being “bad” and cares little when you are doing “good”.  This is illogical and from the sinful flesh.

But it won’t always be this way, my friend!  This sin vs spirit conflict will end one day.  One day we will be with Him in His Kingdom and will be free from this conflict.  Having completely unity of mind and spirit, without the fleshly doubts and accusations.   If you want a sneak preview of that life, again, seek the baptism of the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit of Yahweh brings great peace and joy and quietens that annoying fleshly side – allowing you to serve by the willingness of your spirit-man. And your spirit-man is willing.  For why else would you be concerned at these thoughts and talking with me now?  That is a testament to your core being for Yahweh rather than the world.

7 hours ago, F_Ivan said:

Sorry If I'm  repeating myself. I felt horrible even typing all that because it feels like im feeding fears/doubts/sin/worthless thoughts

Ah, not at all my friend.  It's good you "felt horrible" typing it though as it validates what I have been writing to you thus far.  Rejoice my friend.  Their is light on the horizon heading your way swiftly.

Three more questions, if I haven't bored you already (sorry for writing so much!) 

1. Do you read the Bible often?  
2. What parts of the Bible are you unfamiliar with?
3. What's your opinion of the Bible?

Love & Shalom

[F_Ivan]

On 11/20/2019 at 3:25 AM, Tzephanyahu said:

Therefore, when thoughts arise to condemn you, take the opportunity to repent of the charges they bring against you, once and sincerely.  

What do you mean repent of the charges they bring against me? This morning I was looking up attractive actresses on Google partially trying to avoid looking at explicitly lustful images and this thought appeared in my head "You don't really care about god" and in that moment I believed in that statement and it filled me with anxiety and ruined my day

Edited November 22, 2019 by F_Ivan

[F_Ivan]

@Tzephanyahu

I just started reading my Bible a few weeks ago.

Im unfamilar with anything the disciples didn't write about Jesus' life

The bible is God's word meant to be read with conviction of the Holy spirit and it helps us understand God's wisdom and who he is

[F_Ivan]

On 11/19/2019 at 10:00 PM, Raven said:

@F_Ivan, you have it all back to front.

Truth (honesty to yourself) will set you free from all your fears. Truth does not hurt, neither is it suffering. All that hurts is your ego squirming to its own truth of invalidity. The ego is nothing but your self fabricated story about your self. All your fears are about its truth. That is why the ego always seeks validity, for it knows it is invalid.f It fears that honesty will reveal that it is nothing but a story of self-identity. It is based on what your body and mind has done in this distorted world. Your perception of suffering is not about being honest, but being dishonest to yourself.

Don't fear or love the body. It is not who you are. You have a body, but you are not the body. You are a spiritual being with a body. Similar to you having a car to get around in, but you are not the car. When the car dies, you can either stay and die with the car or get out of the car. It all depends if you believe you are a car or not. Christianity is about learning the Truth about who we really are, and why we are here. All our suffering, guilt, shame, and all other forms of fear stems from believing we are the body.

Thank you

[Sharky and George]

LTP Little Things Pickup:

When your down and depressed laying in your bed e.g. slippers on comfy, a cup of tea and just one bible verse that makes you feel happy.

Often LTP gets you back on track again.

 

 

DUWD Dont Understand Write it Down:

If your confused with your thoughts and have unanswered questions then get a piece of paper and write yes and no either side at the top and a line down the middle. Score reasons with one to ten for yes and no. Add up the scores at the bottom and just believe that.

 

Hope this helps. It does me.

[Tzephanyahu]

11 hours ago, F_Ivan said:

What do you mean repent of the charges they bring against me? This morning I was looking up attractive actresses on Google partially trying to avoid looking at explicitly lustful images and this thought appeared in my head "You don't really care about god" and in that moment I believed in that statement and it filled me with anxiety and ruined my day

Ah, a good example to worth with...

The accusation/charge brought against you, by your fleshly side, was "You don't really care about God".  So you can respond, almost with gratitude, by replying aloud "I do love you God, forgive me for my foolish thoughts". 

Thereafter, if the thought persists, you can wilfully disregard it by thinking back "Overruled!" much like a judge in a courtroom.  Because you have spoken out aloud against the charge that your flesh brought against you.  And it's by your words and actions that you will be assessed, not your thoughts. So you can rest, in faith that He seeks to acquit you, not accuse you.

Now, if you continue in stopping the negative thoughts with this thought of "overruled!", the negative thoughts will leave eventually.  Because the sinful flesh likes dwelling in fear, worry, panic, depression and anxiety.  It thrives on it.  But when it sees that it doesn't get attention, it will get bored trying.

However, let me be real with you.  Such a charge may have not even been made against you in the first place if you had a clean conscience before Yahweh.  True, you were trying to side-step looking at explicit images (and good job for trying).  BUT looking at non-explicit images with the same desire leads ultimately to the same destination.  I don't say this to condemn you but rather encourage you that your continued self-discipline will lead to deeper enlightenment, fulfilment and real satisfaction - rather than something temporal and shameful.  No judgement against you brother, at all, because controlling desire is a true battle, perhaps the biggest the flesh has, but take a step at a time to walk away from that trap. 

12 hours ago, F_Ivan said:

I just started reading my Bible a few weeks ago.

Im unfamilar with anything the disciples didn't write about Jesus' life

Great news!  I highly recommend THIS page to help you get started with the Bible.  That page contains a reading plan to take you through the whole Bible story, start to finish, avoiding genealogies and unnecessary information for your first read.   

It's better to do this than read the Bible from cover-to-cover, because the Bible's books aren't all arranged in chronological order and the timeline can be confusing without a guide!

12 hours ago, F_Ivan said:

The bible is God's word meant to be read with conviction of the Holy spirit and it helps us understand God's wisdom and who he is

Amen.  So then, if you hold the very words of the Creator of ALL things in your hand, what else is more worthy of your attention?  Therefore,  deeply consider the implication of its power and majesty to get inspired to read it more often.  If you're looking for inspiration, I recommend these pages:

The most controversial book in world history

How to get the most out of reading the Bible

Do you find the Bible relatively easy and straight-forward to understand or is it quite tricky?  If so, any particular concepts or parts?

How did you come to be a believer?  You don't need to share if you don't want to.

Love & Shalom