anger and Proverbs

[ContinuingCorletta]

In Proverbs, it is mentioned that we shouldn't hang around someone given to anger lest we learn their ways.  Since we all get angry sometimes, at what point is someone too angry to be around?  I work around someone who has lost their temper about once every other week, on average - sometimes less, sometimes more. I've been praying that he wouldn't get angry and I hope and think he is somewhat better. I also work with another person who loses their temper at least once per week. I'm also praying that they would not, and I think it has helped some, but I'm concerned about what to do if they don't improve. I don't want it to rub off on me.  Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on this. 

[missmuffet]

2 hours ago, ContinuingCorletta said:

In Proverbs, it is mentioned that we shouldn't hang around someone given to anger lest we learn their ways.  Since we all get angry sometimes, at what point is someone too angry to be around?  I work around someone who has lost their temper about once every other week, on average - sometimes less, sometimes more. I've been praying that he wouldn't get angry and I hope and think he is somewhat better. I also work with another person who loses their temper at least once per week. I'm also praying that they would not, and I think it has helped some, but I'm concerned about what to do if they don't improve. I don't want it to rub off on me.  Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on this. 

Should you tell your boss? These people may not keep their jobs if they do not learn to control their anger. If a person is not safe to themselves or you it needs to be reported. 

[Raven]

4 hours ago, ContinuingCorletta said:

In Proverbs, it is mentioned that we shouldn't hang around someone given to anger lest we learn their ways.  Since we all get angry sometimes, at what point is someone too angry to be around?  I work around someone who has lost their temper about once every other week, on average - sometimes less, sometimes more. I've been praying that he wouldn't get angry and I hope and think he is somewhat better. I also work with another person who loses their temper at least once per week. I'm also praying that they would not, and I think it has helped some, but I'm concerned about what to do if they don't improve. I don't want it to rub off on me.  Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on this. 

Anger is the expressed fear of unmet wants. The person fears that if people, places, things, or situations do not go their way they won't feel okay. They also do not know how to cope with changes to their expectations (wants). Basically, the angry person is a scared to be seen as not coping with life.

To deal with an angry person, just remember that they are scared, and treat them like you would normally do for a scared person. That is, to reassure them that they will be okay even if things don't go their way. Remember their truth of being scared, and you won't get scared (angry) with them.

 

[Deborah_]

You have very little choice or control over who you work with.

Proverbs isn't talking so much about your work colleagues as your friends - the people you hang around with, respect, and who have a large influence on your attitude and opinions.

[Tzephanyahu]

Shalom @ContinuingCorletta

Yes, you are wise to be concerned about this matter.

Are you finding yourself getting angrier than you once did?  Are you being pulled into discussing such matters with these angry people even though you are not affected?

The Bible teaches that bad company pollutes good character and I've seen this happen many times. There is a hazy line of pollution, which is often led by humour, which before too long will choke you unless you remain on guard and keep Holy to God.  Remember, 'Holy' means 'separated from the common' or 'set apart'.  In this instance - set apart from the world.

I work in an environment where there is a lot of anger, rudeness and mocking of even the Messiah and the Father.  It comes under the guise of humour so that no one can be accused of doing or saying anything wrong other than 'banter'.  I found it easier to keep myself in check and not sin by refusing to engage with such folk or even lend an ear to their wicked words.  Yes, for a long while I was seen as an outsider and not part of the 'gang' at work.  But now I find that people are approaching me privately to ask about my faith, away from their 'gang'.  Praise be to Yahweh.

So then, my advice is to be careful in how you engage with these people.  Don't let their rants and moans in conversation with you lead you into sin as you try and empathise with them in their issue.  Be cautious of reacting to or mirroring friendly banter, which often has a deep rooted basis.  Try to let their anger slip by and over you, remaining at peace but with compassion for them - as this is their life without the Lord.  You do well in praying for them.  Keep this up, but pray their eyes and heart will be opened to the truth, rather than them stop being angry (as I don't believe the Father would interfere with their autonomy).

Finally, when you have had a tough day or week of it, and you are feeling tense, angry or stressed because of the environment they have created around you - read and meditate of Psalm 1.  This should be your go to Psalm regularly to keep you at peace and with the right focus.  Meditate on Psalm 1 until it brings joy to your heart.  Works for me  

Love & Shalom

Edited November 24, 2019 by Tzephanyahu

[johnthebaptist]

9 hours ago, ContinuingCorletta said:

In Proverbs, it is mentioned that we shouldn't hang around someone given to anger lest we learn their ways.  Since we all get angry sometimes, at what point is someone too angry to be around?  I work around someone who has lost their temper about once every other week, on average - sometimes less, sometimes more. I've been praying that he wouldn't get angry and I hope and think he is somewhat better. I also work with another person who loses their temper at least once per week. I'm also praying that they would not, and I think it has helped some, but I'm concerned about what to do if they don't improve. I don't want it to rub off on me.  Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on this. 

I wasn't aware there was anything in the Bible about not hanging around angry people. There is a verse stating we shouldn't hang around adulterers (Psalm 50:16-21).

[ContinuingCorletta]

13 hours ago, Raven said:

Anger is the expressed fear of unmet wants. The person fears that if people, places, things, or situations do not go their way they won't feel okay. They also do not know how to cope with changes to their expectations (wants). Basically, the angry person is a scared to be seen as not coping with life.

To deal with an angry person, just remember that they are scared, and treat them like you would normally do for a scared person. That is, to reassure them that they will be okay even if things don't go their way. Remember their truth of being scared, and you won't get scared (angry) with them.

 

Thank you for sharing.

[ContinuingCorletta]

13 hours ago, Deborah_ said:

You have very little choice or control over who you work with.

Proverbs isn't talking so much about your work colleagues as your friends - the people you hang around with, respect, and who have a large influence on your attitude and opinions.

Thank you for sharing.

[ContinuingCorletta]

9 hours ago, Tzephanyahu said:

Shalom @ContinuingCorletta

Yes, you are wise to be concerned about this matter.

Are you finding yourself getting angrier than you once did?  Are you being pulled into discussing such matters with these angry people even though you are not affected?

The Bible teaches that bad company pollutes good character and I've seen this happen many times. There is a hazy line of pollution, which is often led by humour, which before too long will choke you unless you remain on guard and keep Holy to God.  Remember, 'Holy' means 'separated from the common' or 'set apart'.  In this instance - set apart from the world.

I work in an environment where there is a lot of anger, rudeness and mocking of even the Messiah and the Father.  It comes under the guise of humour so that no one can be accused of doing or saying anything wrong other than 'banter'.  I found it easier to keep myself in check and not sin by refusing to engage with such folk or even lend an ear to their wicked words.  Yes, for a long while I was seen as an outsider and not part of the 'gang' at work.  But now I find that people are approaching me privately to ask about my faith, away from their 'gang'.  Praise be to Yahweh.

So then, my advice is to be careful in how you engage with these people.  Don't let their rants and moans in conversation with you lead you into sin as you try and empathise with them in their issue.  Be cautious of reacting to or mirroring friendly banter, which often has a deep rooted basis.  Try to let their anger slip by and over you, remaining at peace but with compassion for them - as this is their life without the Lord.  You do well in praying for them.  Keep this up, but pray their eyes and heart will be opened to the truth, rather than them stop being angry (as I don't believe the Father would interfere with their autonomy).

Finally, when you have had a tough day or week of it, and you are feeling tense, angry or stressed because of the environment they have created around you - read and meditate of Psalm 1.  This should be your go to Psalm regularly to keep you at peace and with the right focus.  Meditate on Psalm 1 until it brings joy to your heart.  Works for me  

Love & Shalom

Thank you.

[ContinuingCorletta]

15 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Should you tell your boss? These people may not keep their jobs if they do not learn to control their anger. If a person is not safe to themselves or you it needs to be reported. 

Thank you.