Equippers Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 138 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 1,214 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 1,163 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/28/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2020 10 hours ago, LadyKay said: Just asking here. If your pastor and his wife hosted a New Years Eve gathering/get together at his house and then posted the photos to his facebook page of all the fun they had and you were not invited. Would you feel left out? Some people said somethings and the reply that was given was that they weren't leaving anyone out and told us to come next year. But it seems only the people who where there know about it. So.....it dose seem like some people were being left out. Well how do you all feel about this? I'm not really sure how I feel. I mean he can't invite the whole church to come to his house. But then you still kind of wonder why you weren't included. Well...thoughts?? hello i think the fact is nobody like to be left out. but you also understand they can't invite the whole church i would just let it go anyway, i think it is all depending on the context. it depends on the size of the church and one's relationship with the pastor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyKay Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Royal Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 385 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 7,692 Content Per Day: 1.93 Reputation: 4,809 Days Won: 3 Joined: 05/28/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 2, 2020 49 minutes ago, Neighbor said: Oh please don't do that. Don't ask don't seek. Just pray one for another. If you find being an introvert is hampering what you may desire in the way of social company then this Sunday pray and seek out some service to our Lord opportunity that you will take, make your own leap in faith by joining it. That is my thought, and is btw what I had to do for my own encouragement. Oh goodness I did not mean that I would walk up to the pastor and ask about it. That would be embarrassing.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miaandme Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 67 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 64 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/30/2019 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/12/1968 Share Posted January 2, 2020 Sometimes a person needs to find their own friends to hang out with new friends too. Maybe you haven't found that yet. I would pray about it and see if that is the case for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 951 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,566 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 9,045 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted January 2, 2020 22 minutes ago, LadyKay said: Oh goodness I did not mean that I would walk up to the pastor and ask about it. That would be embarrassing.? I didn't think you would either. However if there is concern who better to ask but the person directly, that has become the subject of some concern? I am suggesting you tune out altogether and consciously and very deliberately avoid any conversation around you about it. Just let it go altogether, and instead if feeling alone join something join in helping at some missionary venture. You will then soon meet a few people with a common aim a goal and a service for our Lord, all good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeauJangles Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Royal Member Followers: 44 Topic Count: 229 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 10,900 Content Per Day: 2.93 Reputation: 12,145 Days Won: 68 Joined: 02/13/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1954 Share Posted January 2, 2020 10 hours ago, LadyKay said: Just asking here. If your pastor and his wife hosted a New Years Eve gathering/get together at his house and then posted the photos to his facebook page of all the fun they had and you were not invited. Would you feel left out? Some people said somethings and the reply that was given was that they weren't leaving anyone out and told us to come next year. But it seems only the people who where there know about it. So.....it dose seem like some people were being left out. Well how do you all feel about this? I'm not really sure how I feel. I mean he can't invite the whole church to come to his house. But then you still kind of wonder why you weren't included. Well...thoughts?? Willa mentioned that perhaps the pastor's home was not able to accommodate all the congregants. This would be true of a larger church of course. It does seem an air of exclusiveness, and posting them on Facebook would make anyone who was a left out member feel badly. I think this was unwisely done with little consideration of the uninvited. I personally would be reluctant to mention this to him. Still, my feelings would be hurt to the point of being snubbed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6DaysiseneG Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Members Followers: 4 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 43 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 42 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/07/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2020 The church we attend ( husband and I) holds holiday events in the church itself, so no one is left out. However, I'm sure our pastor meets with a selection of few who he confides in alone as well. I'm not offended at all by this, because I know our pastor needs just as much uplifting spiritually as I do. He spends all week biblically counseling others 10 hrs + a day. He also travels to other churches outside the USA and ministers, as well as preparing sermons etc. I'm glad our pastor has devout church members in his life to keep watch over him and aid him and his family when rest , counseling for himself is needed. I'm thankful he does not get burned out because of those faithful close few who are spiritual help and physical help to him by giving him and his family vacation time etc. Maybe you could just ask the pastor yourself since God tells us if we have something against a brother to go directly to them and reconcile then come back to worship. You could always offer to help set up in your church where it would house Everyone. Tc blessings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marvelloustime Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Royal Member Followers: 15 Topic Count: 206 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 5,608 Content Per Day: 2.84 Reputation: 11,415 Days Won: 33 Joined: 11/26/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2020 10 hours ago, LadyKay said: Just asking here. If your pastor and his wife hosted a New Years Eve gathering/get together at his house and then posted the photos to his facebook page of all the fun they had and you were not invited. Would you feel left out? Some people said somethings and the reply that was given was that they weren't leaving anyone out and told us to come next year. But it seems only the people who where there know about it. So.....it dose seem like some people were being left out. Well how do you all feel about this? I'm not really sure how I feel. I mean he can't invite the whole church to come to his house. But then you still kind of wonder why you weren't included. Well...thoughts?? @LadyKay I can understand where you are coming from. I think it was insensitive to post his pictures on the church’s main FB page, if this was just a private party for a few close friends. However, I think it was probably done in all innocence on his part. This is a common thing that happens within churches. Pastors are supposed to remain impartial and show no favouritism towards their congregation. But pastors are only human too, so it is going to happen. I was always like you, I always felt I was never “one of them” and felt an outsider. Praise the Lord! We are in good company! Jesus was an outsider too! He wasn’t liked, was left out, people thought he was a bit odd and different to the rest of the crowd. He experienced isolation, loneliness, he wasn’t popular and wouldn’t get invited to parties either. When I used to feel like you do, and I was on the outside, without an invitation to the party, whilst the church members who were invited were enjoying themselves, Jesus was sat there with me, just me and Him together, and we would have our own celebration and fellowship together, between the two of us. He was there with you when you were looking at the church’s FB page, feeling isolated and left out, which then made you feel down. Sat next to you, with His arm around you, was Jesus! You were getting one to one individual attention of Jesus when you were sat there at home, on your own. People will always let us down, no matter who they are, however unintentional it may be. But Jesus never will. This is why He needed to go back to the Father, after He died and rose again. So that He could send the Holy Spirit to us, and then He could be with us all, individually, all at the same time. So none of us need to spend one second without Jesus with us. Whilst He was on Earth, He was limited by time and space. So He could only be in one place at any one time, and wasn’t able to permanently be with all His people, one to one, all the time. But praise the Lord, He can, and He is, through His Holy Spirit! Happy New Year to you Kay and I pray you experience the wonderful presence of Jesus, who is always with you, forever. God bless, Becky. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeauJangles Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Royal Member Followers: 44 Topic Count: 229 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 10,900 Content Per Day: 2.93 Reputation: 12,145 Days Won: 68 Joined: 02/13/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1954 Share Posted January 2, 2020 (edited) 28 minutes ago, 6DaysiseneG said: The church we attend ( husband and I) holds holiday events in the church itself, so no one is left out. That's exactly how it should be. I know the church I attend has an annual banquet, and they have it catered in with a fine spread. It's not cheap, and of course it's far too expensive for the church to be expected to pick up the tab for each and every member. A banquet hall in a restaurant is booked and has to be paid for. It comes at a pretty high cost. Quite a few that are gifted with reservations so not everyone is left out. Many choose not to attend and that's their decision. Edited January 2, 2020 by BeauJangles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReneeIW Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Senior Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 42 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 944 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 780 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/06/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2020 Facebook is the devil. It was very insensitive for him to post that on his page. Hopefully they didn’t post pictures of really good looking food and nice parting gifts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis1209 Posted January 2, 2020 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 347 Topics Per Day: 0.13 Content Count: 7,464 Content Per Day: 2.70 Reputation: 5,377 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/27/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2020 I believe Sower's post above pretty much hit the nail on the head from my vantage point. It seems natural to me, closer personal friendships develop between people with the more they have in common, and shared interests; such as football or baseball as examples. Since both of these sports became circuses, I don't follow sports teams anymore and could care less about them. During these gatherings and conversations about sports, I'd be on the sidelines not knowing nor interested in what they were discussing [birds of a feather flock together]. We're commanded to love our breathern and I truly do; but that doesn't necessarily mean I like them much based on their demeanor, habits, interests, personality and commonality in secular interests. As was basically alluded to previously, we all need emotional outlets and people to turn to and share our interests, concerns and hobbies with [i.e. hence, a forum we talk about our Lord on]. I can think of only a handful of professions that consistently produce an abundance of stress and worries; police officers, fireman, surgeons, EMT'S and Pastors as examples. Pastors are human also, and become vested in the church, community and individual relationships. They have feelings and emotions like all of us. Imagine the weight and confidentially he must bear? The problems of knowing sins and actions of people he personally knows in marriage counseling; conducting funerals of friends, loved ones and members of his congregation, getting a phone call in the middle of the night that someone in his congregation has been in a serious car crash, had a heart attack, etc. and has to immediately go to the hospital or morgue to comfort the grieving. Something that just came to mind and not really related to the subject matter being discussed. From my view and knowledge and may not be the case these days. In my church growing up and in other churches that I was aware of; after church the Pastor and his wife was just about always every Sunday, invited to someone's home for dinner after church, by a family in his congregation. To my knowledge this former practice doesn't occur as much as it once did, or I'm not aware of it anyway? Would I take it personally, would my feelings be hurt if this were me? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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