Not being a bold enough Christian

[Thewhitedove]

I have posted about this before in the past, but it's becoming a real pain.

I used to be Catholic/agnostic/New Age until last year when I got saved. Before that, I thought Christians were annoying and not very enlightened. I was very convinced in my own righteousness and people trying to evangelise to me put me off Christianity. A lot!

I have two Christian friends. My husband is a non believer and everyone else is the same blend of agnosticism, Catholicism and New Age that I was. They all identify as Christian but I'm not sure they even know the Gospel. They definitely all think they are good enough to get to Heaven.

I am happy to talk about my faith when the conversation arises organically, particularly if its one-to-one. I normally share scripture with them, but have only shared the gospel with two people, who were very pretty dismissive.

Some family members said that I must have mental health problems if I am a Born Again Christian. This makes me really want to downplay my faith in their company, particularly as my non believer husband is clear that while he won't stand in my way as a Christian, he doesn't want me to do anything that will embarrass him.

The fact that I am a Christian is not a secret, and in fact I had to have an backward conversation with my parents at Christmas denouncing Catholicism. However I am not proclaiming the Gospel. In real honesty, it makes me cringe because I remember what I thought of people who tried to to convince me. I was embarrassed for them and paid no heed to them.

In fact, I worked alongside a Christian for months without knowing her beliefs, before *I* brought up an interest in Christianity. I liked how she was 'hands off' and respected her so much for it...and she is the one who got me saved in the end. 

I am always praying for God to open doors and direct conversations that organically lead to conversations about God. However I am not bold I  proclaiming the Gospel. I am happy to share the good news when God sets the scene, but find it really hard with no context. I also feel like I dont have the doctrinal knowledge to refute a lot of the arguments non believers have.

How much is God going to judge me for this? What does evangelism look like in everyone elses life? How much do you wait for natural opportunities? Or do you just jump in there and witness to anyone who will listen? 

[Justin Adams]

1 hour ago, Thewhitedove said:

How much is God going to judge me for this? What does evangelism look like in everyone elses life? How much do you wait for natural opportunities? Or do you just jump in there and witness to anyone who will listen? 

I strongly suggest you listen to a few of Dr. Michael Heiser's lectures on YouTube. He is a conservative evangelical scholar of ancient Hebrew and other languages. You will get a good grounding with his unique and very easy to understand talks.

[Tzephanyahu]

Shalom @Thewhitedove

How have you been sister?

4 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

In real honesty, it makes me cringe because I remember what I thought of people who tried to to convince me. I was embarrassed for them and paid no heed to them.

I totally understand you on this.  I'm very similar.

If I start speaking to a non-believer about the Bible, the Messiah or Salvation, I cannot put the view out of my mind of how I must seem to them!  I remember how I used to hear others who spoke that way and, somewhere along the way, I became one of them!

But this is a gift - this social awareness of yours.  Rather than let it stifle you, use your empathetic acuity to adapt the message of the Gospel.  Not changing it's message from it's core values, but trying to relate it in modern "un-churchy" terms for the layman today. 

Sometimes Christians get caught up in their own little world of terms and phrases that they forget how it might sound to an atheist.  "Repent! Then the blood of the Lamb will cover you, through the cross of Christ!".  This kind of talk comes from a different time and, whilst technically not incorrect, is short-sighted for the sake of those atheists listening.  We need to adapt and put aside "KJV-talk" for the sake of clarity of the Gospel message.  As Paul writes..

"To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some." - 1 Corinthians  9:20-22

So do you.  Do your thing and explain in your whitedove way, using your gift of social-awareness to invite those lost into the Kingdom with wisdom and meekness.  Don't try to emulate popular witnessing techniques, pastors or the ways that work for others.  I'm sure you are gifted as such to reach those on the outskirts, who will never here a pulpit preacher or stadium filling crusade evangelist. 

When it comes to Christianity - you know what repelled you and you know what attracted you.  Exemplify those qualities in your walk and don't try to follow formulas given by others.  Do as you've learned and then you will be successful.

4 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

In fact, I worked alongside a Christian for months without knowing her beliefs, before *I* brought up an interest in Christianity. I liked how she was 'hands off' and respected her so much for it...and she is the one who got me saved in the end. 

This was the same situation for me and another where I once worked.  I didn't preach, I just got on and did my thing.  They kept on asking me questions about my faith rather than me pushing anything on them.  Eventually they and their family gave their lives to Yahweh, all praise and glory to Him.

This seems to be a valid form of witnessing, according to the Messiah...

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:16

Your friend was like a lamp on a stand to you, and you were attracted to the flame.  Your friend didn't chase you down with a flamethrower!

4 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I am always praying for God to open doors and direct conversations that organically lead to conversations about God.

Amen!  Keep this prayer in your heart and when the time is right for a certain person, He will reward you with an answer, I'm quite sure of it.

I have prayed this prayer numerous times and it's amazing how the situations present themselves.  Each time, I haven't instigated the conversation or steered it into that direction.  It's simply come up naturally from the other person, all praise to Yahweh.

Only also add this to your prayers  "...and give me the wisdom to answer them, bringing to mind all you have taught me and teach me".

A final word of advice on this matter, study the Bible with the intensity as for a University degree.   The Spirit can work through you more and more with the more familiar you become with the Scriptures.  For an explanation as to why, check out the section "School of the Ruach HaKodesh" on THIS page.

4 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I also feel like I dont have the doctrinal knowledge to refute a lot of the arguments non believers have.

This will come with time - but it won't come without study.  Therefore, if you wish to know you have to first wish to learn. 

In the meantime, you can say that you don't know and will get back to them - which I think they would appreciate more than you trying to wing it.

However, you also can plead ignorant and say "I don't know all the ins and outs on everything, as I'm still learning all of this".  But follow up with adding "But I know it's true as it has completely changed my life for the better in a way that nothing else has or could possibly do".  The point being this - you don't need to know everything to be a disciple but your testimony should be sufficient.  Whereas you once cared not about acting one way, you now want to walk according to the Bible - as you are so utterly convinced of it's truth, you'd lay your life down for it.  That testimony cannot be ignored.  Fair enough, it's not going to speak to everyone (some will think you're mad) but to those who know you are of sound mind, peaceful, loving, calm in the face of the dying world today - you will become a lamp to them.

If there are any particular subjects that you keep coming up against, let me or the forum know and I'm sure one of us will be able to help you with these hurdles.

4 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

How much is God going to judge me for this?

Yahweh will judge you on your walk as a disciple.  Not how many people you get saved.  That is part of our mission, but we all have different gifts and missions.  Some are specifically evangelists.  As for you, well, you will need to work out what your gift is from Yahweh and where you fit it.  But don't assume it's evangelising.

4 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

What does evangelism look like in everyone elses life?

I don't evangelise hardly at all.  I'm horribly awkward at it and practically cringe as I'm talking!  It's probably because I'm very socially-aware and also completely awkward in social situations anyway, hehe. 

However, I walk according to His Word by His grace and this seems to speak volumes to some people rather than me knocking on doors and saying "Do you know the Lord Jesus?"

5 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

How much do you wait for natural opportunities?

If there is someone I want to speak to about God, I will pray for the opportunities and the wisdom to speak with them.  "Natural" opportunities will also occur from time-to-time.  In those instances, I'm choosy with my words, personally.  I try not to go off on a monologue, but let them have peeks at how peaceful and fulfilling life can be and how it isn't how the mainstream church portrays it (as many atheists even notice their hypocrisy).  But I try to leave them wanting more information rather than think "Man, when will this guy shut up.  I'm sorry I asked!"

5 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

Or do you just jump in there and witness to anyone who will listen? 

Very rarely.  I might in instances of prophecy being fulfilled today, explain parts of history or archaeological findings.  But I'm certainly not gifted to start those random conversations.  I have seen those gifted in that way start conversations and it's incredible to watch how Yahweh works through them.  However, that doesn't seem to be my remit.

Sister, I know you have been struggling with this situation for a long time now and it must be equal parts frustrating as it is saddening.  But I see great promise in your life, from the vibe of your posts.  I get the impression that you are in the early stages of training for something.  Your faith and witness is being tested a lot, and it will not go without reward if you stay faithful in word and deed. 

You are light on a stand for your husband and family. Therefore, the best way you can witness to them is to make that light shine bright.  Study the Scriptures diligently and adapt your behaviour and way according to the lessons Yahweh teaches us through them.  When your husband and family have lost hope or reason in their lives - for whatever cause - you will be like a lighthouse of Messiah for them.  So study the Scriptures well so that you can accurately portray them in a "whitedove" way when they start showing interest.   

Love & Shalom 

[LonerAndy]

On 2/23/2020 at 4:03 AM, Thewhitedove said:

I have posted about this before in the past, but it's becoming a real pain.

I used to be Catholic/agnostic/New Age until last year when I got saved. Before that, I thought Christians were annoying and not very enlightened. I was very convinced in my own righteousness and people trying to evangelise to me put me off Christianity. A lot!

I have two Christian friends. My husband is a non believer and everyone else is the same blend of agnosticism, Catholicism and New Age that I was. They all identify as Christian but I'm not sure they even know the Gospel. They definitely all think they are good enough to get to Heaven.

I am happy to talk about my faith when the conversation arises organically, particularly if its one-to-one. I normally share scripture with them, but have only shared the gospel with two people, who were very pretty dismissive.

Some family members said that I must have mental health problems if I am a Born Again Christian. This makes me really want to downplay my faith in their company, particularly as my non believer husband is clear that while he won't stand in my way as a Christian, he doesn't want me to do anything that will embarrass him.

The fact that I am a Christian is not a secret, and in fact I had to have an backward conversation with my parents at Christmas denouncing Catholicism. However I am not proclaiming the Gospel. In real honesty, it makes me cringe because I remember what I thought of people who tried to to convince me. I was embarrassed for them and paid no heed to them.

In fact, I worked alongside a Christian for months without knowing her beliefs, before *I* brought up an interest in Christianity. I liked how she was 'hands off' and respected her so much for it...and she is the one who got me saved in the end. 

I am always praying for God to open doors and direct conversations that organically lead to conversations about God. However I am not bold I  proclaiming the Gospel. I am happy to share the good news when God sets the scene, but find it really hard with no context. I also feel like I dont have the doctrinal knowledge to refute a lot of the arguments non believers have.

How much is God going to judge me for this? What does evangelism look like in everyone elses life? How much do you wait for natural opportunities? Or do you just jump in there and witness to anyone who will listen? 

There is no cookie cutter Christianity.    Everyone has an idea that "how I do it, is how everyone should do it!"... and I find that rather ridiculous.    Even in the Bible, not everyone was Peter, going out there and yelling to the crowds "We're not drunk, we have the holy spirit!".

Further, I am very much of the opinion that learning how and where to make a stand, is more important than spouting off constantly.

Again, there are people who are Peter-type Christians, and more power to them.   But not everyone is.

Now this is just me, and you can take it or leave it.... but my view is, if someone doesn't bring up the topic, I don't push it.

I think we need to remember, when the Apostle Paul confronted the people of Athens, he wasn't doing so out in the street yelling at people going into the pagan temples.  Where was he?   He was at a meeting of the Areopagus.  The Areopagus was a place where people stood and address those who came to listen to various things. (Acts 17:22)

Paul wasn't screaming at a family reunion, or on a street corner.  There is a time and a place, and Paul went to the appropriate time and place to reach people boldly.

Now at the same time, don't apologize for your faith either.  When they say things, you say "yes, that's right, I'm born again, and happy with my faith"... and sure they'll say something back, and you just smile and "well ok, but I'm happy with it".

You don't need to argue, and you never need to apologize, and you just remain faithful and happy with what you have.

If you really want to boldly evangelize, then I would join a group from your evangelical church to go with.   Otherwise, just be ready to answer a question if it is asked of you.  At some point, someone will ask you about your faith, just like you at some point brought up Christianity with your co-worker.   When that happens, just be ready to answer.

And... I think that's all you need.

[JohnD]

On 2/23/2020 at 3:03 AM, Thewhitedove said:

I have posted about this before in the past, but it's becoming a real pain.

I used to be Catholic/agnostic/New Age until last year when I got saved. Before that, I thought Christians were annoying and not very enlightened. I was very convinced in my own righteousness and people trying to evangelise to me put me off Christianity. A lot!

I have two Christian friends. My husband is a non believer and everyone else is the same blend of agnosticism, Catholicism and New Age that I was. They all identify as Christian but I'm not sure they even know the Gospel. They definitely all think they are good enough to get to Heaven.

I am happy to talk about my faith when the conversation arises organically, particularly if its one-to-one. I normally share scripture with them, but have only shared the gospel with two people, who were very pretty dismissive.

Some family members said that I must have mental health problems if I am a Born Again Christian. This makes me really want to downplay my faith in their company, particularly as my non believer husband is clear that while he won't stand in my way as a Christian, he doesn't want me to do anything that will embarrass him.

The fact that I am a Christian is not a secret, and in fact I had to have an backward conversation with my parents at Christmas denouncing Catholicism. However I am not proclaiming the Gospel. In real honesty, it makes me cringe because I remember what I thought of people who tried to to convince me. I was embarrassed for them and paid no heed to them.

In fact, I worked alongside a Christian for months without knowing her beliefs, before *I* brought up an interest in Christianity. I liked how she was 'hands off' and respected her so much for it...and she is the one who got me saved in the end. 

I am always praying for God to open doors and direct conversations that organically lead to conversations about God. However I am not bold I  proclaiming the Gospel. I am happy to share the good news when God sets the scene, but find it really hard with no context. I also feel like I dont have the doctrinal knowledge to refute a lot of the arguments non believers have.

How much is God going to judge me for this? What does evangelism look like in everyone elses life? How much do you wait for natural opportunities? Or do you just jump in there and witness to anyone who will listen? 

Bide your time. It's not downplaying your faith if you prepare and wait for the right moment to share your faith with others.

Too many believers feel they must blurt out their faith at all times and they do make people think they are a bit wacko.

I certainly used to.

There were times when Jesus hid. Times when he told his disciples NOT to tell who he was.

How and when this truth would be received among unbelievers mattered. 

Remember we are fallen sinned natured beings (all humans are) but we believers are saved by Grace.

We live in a fallen world hostile to the Lord God who saved us and who wants others saved. 

We are behind the enemy lines, in other words.

At the very least, people want to mock Christians, put us into compromising situations,

to ridicule us for being only human as they are.

Prepare (study the Bible to learn why you believe what you believe).

Bide your time.  

Strike when the time is right.

Edited February 25, 2020 by JohnD

[Marilyn C]

On ‎2‎/‎23‎/‎2020 at 7:33 PM, Thewhitedove said:

I have posted about this before in the past, but it's becoming a real pain.

I used to be Catholic/agnostic/New Age until last year when I got saved. Before that, I thought Christians were annoying and not very enlightened. I was very convinced in my own righteousness and people trying to evangelise to me put me off Christianity. A lot!

.....

How much is God going to judge me for this? What does evangelism look like in everyone elses life? How much do you wait for natural opportunities? Or do you just jump in there and witness to anyone who will listen? 

Hi Thewhitedove,

Now God made you, YOU. As you go about your life, the Lord`s Holy Spirit is changing you, (& all of us). Over time people see that, even though you have not talked about God to them. They, at first notice you are different. That is what we are to be `a fragrance of life to those who will receive,` whereas to others an aroma of death.

`For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death, and to the other the aroma of life to life.` (2 Cor. 2: 15 & 16) 

Let the Lord be your joy and hope, and let Him work naturally/spiritually through you. His Holy Spirit will guide you.

BTW I think the `boldness of speaking out` in NOT always with great words and strong speech, but a quiet word at the right time. And as you grow in the Lord it will come naturally out of your mouth. You are a quiet person, well then people respect that and will take note as God`s word has authority and it doesn`t have to be loud.

People are more impressed, actually looking to see the proof of you now being a believer. They want to see the `fruit` in your life before they will listen to your words. So keep relating, encourage people, smile, be interested in them, care for them, have compassion etc, these are what people what to see.

 

 

[lovethelord]

On 2/23/2020 at 1:03 AM, Thewhitedove said:

Some family members said that I must have mental health problems if I am a Born Again Christian.

Hi Thewhitedove

I recently heard this very thing from my husband who is also a non believer (in that he doesn't believe Jesus is God). His statement was his response to a question he asked me on why I believe Jesus is God. In any case, all we can do is follow the Spirit's prompting and preach the gospel when we find an interest or opening given to us by others.  As the Bible tells us we can only speak the message and God through others may further grow the seed that we planted in other ways. As the bible verse notes below, we are told why nonbelievers respond the way they do.

1 Corinthians 1:18, "The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God."

 

 

[Declare]

It is good sign of a health Christian life when one desires to share Christ.  For a long time, I have been sharing the gospel with others.  Through the years, I have used all kinds of methods.  Additionally, I had all kinds of responses form cursing to confessing Jesus as Savior. (Regardless of the method used)  God is the one who draws people to Christ.  Therefore, the most important part of soul winning is prayer.  If possible, join with a Christian group that will encourage you to keep sharing.  They will be able to help with all the Bible answers (none of us knows it all/that's why we need each other)  Foremost, a group that will pray for your family and friends salvation.  

John 6:44 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 

 

 

[Prycejosh1987]

On 2/23/2020 at 9:03 AM, Thewhitedove said:

I am always praying for God to open doors and direct conversations that organically lead to conversations about God. However I am not bold I  proclaiming the Gospel. I am happy to share the good news when God sets the scene, but find it really hard with no context. I also feel like I dont have the doctrinal knowledge to refute a lot of the arguments non believers have.

How much is God going to judge me for this? What does evangelism look like in everyone elses life? How much do you wait for natural opportunities? Or do you just jump in there and witness to anyone who will listen? 

Your story sounds good, i am happy you came from an uncertain place and dealt with criticism well. Boldness comes through assurance, if your not bold chances are you are unsure about something spiritually speaking. God will judge motives of good works, evangelism is the same to everyone although many are put off by bad responses, i was, myself, but it didnt stop me. Natural opportunities are very rare, you have to provoke it in a way that is not freaky but gets to the point. You could on Saturday go on the street with leaflets and let the spirit use you. Most of my spiritual growth comes from my evangelism.