So what is wrong with me? Zero motivation

[LonerAndy]

57 minutes ago, Debp said:

 

I think Justin just meant you are too focused on negatives about your life.   So why don't you change your focus?   For example, the above quote shows you are using your gifts to help others.   So why not focus on that, the good you are doing for others?   Rather than focusing on the negative things you perceive your life to be.

I don't honestly know what that means.

Focus on the good done for others.  How does one do that?

For example, 13 years ago or so, I had a co-worker named Nadia.  Her father was in Kenya, and she was here largely by herself.   She didn't have much money, and her windshield wipers on her car broke, and stopped working.

I went and fixed her car for free.  (sort of.  Long story, but by the end, the wipers worked).

That's fine.  I assume I did something good.  At least it helped her out anyway.

Now what.  Am I supposed to be sitting around saying to myself "yeah, my job sucks, no future, and life is without hope.... but Nadia's wipers worked in 2007"?

Can a human being really live in such a way?  Can a human really fail their entire lives, and yet be perfectly satisfied with the success of others? 

Honestly, I don't know what your suggestion means.   Can a person really exist in such a way that they not only do some good for others, and yet never have any good for themselves at all in their entire lives?  Is that possible for a man to survive living absolutely entirely for the good of others at the emptiness of himself?

Maybe people can.  I don't know.  I of course will continue to help in whatever menial way I can (obviously it's hard to help other's when you are largely poor and scraping by yourself), but I don't think that would make life worth living.  At least it hasn't for me.

 

Edited July 15, 2020 by LonerAndy

[AnOrangeCat]

1 hour ago, LonerAndy said:

suppose.  I'm not sure why it would matter about the rest of that.  If the economy was the best it has ever been... wouldn't you still get up, go to work, come home, go to bed and repeat?

If politics was fantastic, and we had the best president ever... wouldn't you still get up, go to some job, come home, and go to bed and repeat?

If country turned back to G-d, and 99% of the public converted to Christianity, if rainbows and unicorns flowed across the land, if every illness was wiped out, and all crime was eliminated, if race ceased to exist....

Would we not still just get in up in the morning, drive someplace we didn't want to go, and do work we don't want to do, so we can come home, pay our bills, and get up to do it all over again the next day?

Sure, I agree we'd have some sort of routine and we'd need to work. That's Biblical. But overall I disagree. Our environment and what we're exposed to matter. Philippians 4:8 gives us this: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

What goes on in our minds matters, and what we're exposed to certainly contributes that, as does what we choose to think on. It's difficult to say this without sounding confrontational, and that's not the intent, but based on what you said there it seems like you don't really believe that a society truly and predominantly governed by Christian values wouldn't be meaningfully different from a worldly one and that it wouldn't put you in a better position to get fair wages at a job you found some enjoyment and meaning in.

[Debp]

17 minutes ago, LonerAndy said:

I don't honestly know what that means.

Focus on the good done for others.  How does one do that?

For example, 13 years ago or so, I had a co-worker named Nadia.  Her father was in Kenya, and she was here largely by herself.   She didn't have much money, and her windshield wipers on her car broke, and stopped working.

I went and fixed her car for free.  (sort of.  Long story, but by the end, the wipers worked).

That's fine.  I assume I did something good.  At least it helped her out anyway.

Now what.  Am I supposed to be sitting around saying to myself "yeah, my job sucks, no future, and life is without hope.... but Nadia's wipers worked in 2007"?

Can a human being really live in such a way?  Can a human really fail their entire lives, and yet be perfectly satisfied with the success of others? 

Honestly, I don't know what your suggestion means.   Can a person really exist in such a way that they not only do some good for others, and yet never have any good for themselves at all in their entire lives?  Is that possible for a man to survive living absolutely entirely for the good of others at the emptiness of himself?

Maybe people can.  I don't know.  I of course will continue to help in whatever menial way I can (obviously it's hard to help other's when you are largely poor and scraping by yourself), but I don't think that would make life worth living.  At least it hasn't for me.

 

All I am saying is that you seem very focused on what you perceive to be negative things in your life.   So this can become a mental habit.... focusing on only the bad things.    There must be some blessings in your life that you can think upon...in order to draw you out of a negative mindset.

Remember the following verse Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

[Debp]

Also, to cultivate thankfulness is very important.   

18in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18.

[LonerAndy]

1 hour ago, AnOrangeCat said:

Sure, I agree we'd have some sort of routine and we'd need to work. That's Biblical. But overall I disagree. Our environment and what we're exposed to matter. Philippians 4:8 gives us this: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

What goes on in our minds matters, and what we're exposed to certainly contributes that, as does what we choose to think on. It's difficult to say this without sounding confrontational, and that's not the intent, but based on what you said there it seems like you don't really believe that a society truly and predominantly governed by Christian values wouldn't be meaningfully different from a worldly one and that it wouldn't put you in a better position to get fair wages at a job you found some enjoyment and meaning in.

My father is an artist.  So he can sit there, and draw and paint something for an hour, and sell it for $500.  I can't draw anything.  Just horrible at drawing.  I thought about doing cartoons, or something, but I can't draw anything.

I ran a podcast for awhile, but no one listened to it.  Did that for over a year, and finally realized that obviously people were not interested in anything I had to say.  Quit that.

Tried my hand at doing some computer online videos, and spent several months on that.  No matter how much I read about it, practiced it, and worked at it, it never turned out good.

You either have the skills and abilities to do something, or you don't.  If you are 5 foot 2, 158 CM, you are not going to be an NBA star, whether the government is filled with Christians or not.

If you can't program a computer, you are not going to be a computer programmer or no matter what the economy is doing.

If all you are good for is manual labor, then all you are going to do in life, is move stuff around. 

So how would having the world be more Christian, change that?   Now obviously the world turning to the Lord, would be great.

But it wouldn't change my life. I would still have to do a job.  Something miserable and boring to waste my life away on, so that I can earn the money required, to waste my life away working at. 

[David1701]

On 7/15/2020 at 2:00 PM, LonerAndy said:

My father is an artist.  So he can sit there, and draw and paint something for an hour, and sell it for $500.  I can't draw anything.  Just horrible at drawing.  I thought about doing cartoons, or something, but I can't draw anything.

I ran a podcast for awhile, but no one listened to it.  Did that for over a year, and finally realized that obviously people were not interested in anything I had to say.  Quit that.

Tried my hand at doing some computer online videos, and spent several months on that.  No matter how much I read about it, practiced it, and worked at it, it never turned out good.

You either have the skills and abilities to do something, or you don't.  If you are 5 foot 2, 158 CM, you are not going to be an NBA star, whether the government is filled with Christians or not.

If you can't program a computer, you are not going to be a computer programmer or no matter what the economy is doing.

If all you are good for is manual labor, then all you are going to do in life, is move stuff around. 

So how would having the world be more Christian, change that?   Now obviously the world turning to the Lord, would be great.

But it wouldn't change my life. I would still have to do a job.  Something miserable and boring to waste my life away on, so that I can earn the money required, to waste my life away working at. 

Several thoughts occur to me here.

A) Giving thanks and praising God often lift your spirits.

B) Christians have been in MUCH worse circumstances than yours and still had the joy of the Lord.

C) The Israelites complained about having only manna to eat, every day, and the Lord slew thousands of them.

D) If you believe that your job is not for you, then seek the Lord (not your own plans) for a better one.  Keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking - in faith.  The Lord sees and provides (Jehovah Jireh).

E) Remember that God works ALL THINGS together for good, to those who love him.

Edited July 16, 2020 by David1701
typo

[AnOrangeCat]

24 minutes ago, LonerAndy said:

My father is an artist.  So he can sit there, and draw and paint something for an hour, and sell it for $500.  I can't draw anything.  Just horrible at drawing.  I thought about doing cartoons, or something, but I can't draw anything.

I ran a podcast for awhile, but no one listened to it.  Did that for over a year, and finally realized that obviously people were not interested in anything I had to say.  Quit that.

Tried my hand at doing some computer online videos, and spent several months on that.  No matter how much I read about it, practiced it, and worked at it, it never turned out good.

You either have the skills and abilities to do something, or you don't.  If you are 5 foot 2, 158 CM, you are not going to be an NBA star, whether the government is filled with Christians or not.

If you can't program a computer, you are not going to be a computer programmer or no matter what the economy is doing.

If all you are good for is manual labor, then all you are going to do in life, is move stuff around. 

So how would having the world be more Christian, change that?   Now obviously the world turning to the Lord, would be great.

But it wouldn't change my life. I would still have to do a job.  Something miserable and boring to waste my life away on, so that I can earn the money required, to waste my life away working at. 

Sure, natural aptitude matters, but so does effort. Most businesses will be operating in debt or just breaking even for a year or more. There's more than one success story where a person had to develop skills over the course of many years before it finally worked for them. Just using examples from your past work experience I'm pretty sure a more Christian world wouldn't be effectively cheating courier drivers with less than minimum wage or firing a good worker over something like that apple cart excuse they gave you.

I do agree with other posters that you're too focused on the negatives. Sure, you've got reason for it. It's what your past experience has taught you. But as stated in Luke 6:45: "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Proverbs 23:7 echoes this. Many people will happily lend an ear or even assistance to someone in distress, but when it's a constant it taxes the relationship. I suspect that our thought life carries over into our body language as well and might raise some flags we're not even consciously aware of.

[LonerAndy]

3 hours ago, David1701 said:

Several thought occur to me here.

A) Giving thanks and praising God often lift your spirits.

B) Christians have been in MUCH worse circumstances than yours and still had the joy of the Lord.

C) The Israelites complained about having only manna to eat, every day, and the Lord slew thousands of them.

D) If you believe that your job is not for you, then seek the Lord (not your own plans) for a better one.  Keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking - in faith.  The Lord sees and provides (Jehovah Jireh).

E) Remember that God works ALL THINGS together for good, to those who love him.

Yeah I agree completely.  All of that is entirely true.  In fact, elsewhere someone posted the verse about "G-d has a plan for your life".

Yeah.....   And those Coptic Christians that were caught by ISIS and had their heads cut off.    G-d has a plan.  It could be that where I am right now.... that's it.  That's the plan.

We don't know do we?

It's not like I'm living in a refrigerator box in Mexico.  There are many people much worse off than me.   So maybe just living out the monotony of life, is what I should be happy with.

G-d blesses some people, and other's not so much.  Some people end up having their heads cut off on a beach in Libya, others end up millionaires in the US, like my relatives.

Right?  Jesus said to Peter, if that guy over there lives until I return... what is that to you?   And Peter as we know was executed.

So who am I to question G-d.  Maybe this is it for me, and I need to keep my mouth shut and accept it.

 

Edited July 15, 2020 by LonerAndy

[LonerAndy]

1 hour ago, DDisconnect said:

@LonerAndy

You stated that a job you enjoyed was as a courier driver. Are there any similar jobs nearby that would allow for the use of a company vehicle rather than your personal one? The USPS, UPS, delivery driver jobs, maybe even a bus driver...?

Well.....   Yes.  And I did actually get another driving job similar to that some years later, and I crashed the vehicle.  No will touch me now.  They look up my driving record, and go "nope", and that's the end of that.

Yup, rolled the truck over in the snow, landed at the bottom of a ravine.  Had to walk a couple of miles in the snow to find help.   When I called 9/11, they asked me where I was, and I didn't know because I was on a back road, and the 9/11 operator said... 'well then I can't really help you.'

So walked to some lady's house a couple of miles from the crash, and had to ask her were I was.   This was at night too, so I was walking through the snow in the dark.

Great times.  Fun story.   The road the truck fell off of, was so high up, I couldn't see the truck from the road.  Likely shouldn't have survived it really.

Any who.... Yeah, that was the end of the "I'm going to be a driver" part of my life.

I had a guy at church once, tell me that I'm like a modern book of Job, with how I am constantly getting wrecked in life.  Of course Job the man, was actually successful and popular before his troubles, and after.  Thus far I've never been.

Is it not funny how crazy my life has been? 

 

Edited July 15, 2020 by LonerAndy

[LonerAndy]

2 hours ago, AnOrangeCat said:

Sure, natural aptitude matters, but so does effort. Most businesses will be operating in debt or just breaking even for a year or more. There's more than one success story where a person had to develop skills over the course of many years before it finally worked for them. Just using examples from your past work experience I'm pretty sure a more Christian world wouldn't be effectively cheating courier drivers with less than minimum wage or firing a good worker over something like that apple cart excuse they gave you.

I do agree with other posters that you're too focused on the negatives. Sure, you've got reason for it. It's what your past experience has taught you. But as stated in Luke 6:45: "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Proverbs 23:7 echoes this. Many people will happily lend an ear or even assistance to someone in distress, but when it's a constant it taxes the relationship. I suspect that our thought life carries over into our body language as well and might raise some flags we're not even consciously aware of.

They were not cheating people.  Just to clarify, I don't want to talk badly about people who really were not bad.   That's simply how much the customer was willing to pay.  They can't pay me, more than the customer pays them.  

When I did the numbers, the first thing I did was start asking all the other employees.... why?  Just why.

It was amazing.  All the employees thought it was a wonderful job.  They loved it.  Now, most were retired people, that were doing this as a retirement job.  Some had spouses that made really good money, and this was their "get out of the house" job.

But there were more than a few, that were happy with the pay, and they didn't have to answer to boss, and they loved being able to travel around.

So I actually don't think I was cheated or paid unfairly.   It just wasn't enough for me.   I had bills to pay, and yes the freedom and flexibility of the job was great but life is working to pay bills.  The pay just didn't pay the bills for me.

Honestly the job did have perks.  You could just say "I need to do something.  I'll be back in 3 hours" and they would say ok, and off you go.

I had a run that sent me up to the great lakes, and when I got there, I just sat on the beach for 3 hours.

Unfortunately... when you have debts you racked up on yourself... (because I was a moron), then you can't really work for less than minimum wage.

That's another story.  The short is, I got caught in a loan shark, loan flipping thing.  I borrowed $5,000, and through fees and loan flipping, ended up owing them $12,000.  Now THOSE people... they need to have their offices set on fire, and bull dozed.  We need the government to just flat out close those places. >:(

Anyway....

There's more than one success story where a person had to develop skills over the course of many years before it finally worked for them.

That is true.  At this point, I can't even imagine what skills I am, or need to be, developing.  Honestly I can't even think of anything I would even want to do.  If I have any skills or abilities at all, I would have no idea what those skills and abilities are.  They surely haven't show up, or helped me out yet.

Its like how I'm searching the job listing right now.... and my mind just goes blank.  Everything looks so monotonous and coma inducing.  I know I have to pick something and do work, but everything just makes me want to puke.

Edited July 15, 2020 by LonerAndy