Child abuse...where is God's will in this?

[integrity]

I just want to preface by saying I do believe God is loving and perfect. But I can't come to terms with this. I was born into a christian family, went to church all my life, and I dont know if it's just my culture...but no one talk about child abuse, as in calling attention to the world wide problem of it  and definitely no one prays over it fervently. I wonder what is our purpose as Christian's towards it? People are basically told to reproduce and fill the earth...what about the children in foster care or orphanages? This is a stumbling block for me. I used to pray fervently about the issue of all the children unloved in this world, but what to pray? And is there a point? My heart goes to pieces if I actually think about this problem because I question God. Will He supernaturally rescue those children from their horrific circumstance (starvation, beating, sexual, verbal abuse)? If not, what is the point? Children dont deserve any of that. I feel convicted to foster as soon as my babies get a bit older. But I look around and many of the Christians I know don't talk about it  no one at church brings it up for prayer. Barely anyone I know fosters. Idk lately I've been seeing how empty most Christian's are...they go to church obey Gods laws for purity but love and charity and caring for the parentless isnt on anyone's radar. Why doesn't God speak to us more about this? Please share your opinions on any or all of my questions. This is truly something that makes me so sick, because I was emotionally neglected as a child. I cannot fathom feeling unwanted and unloved on every front. No child should have to go through that.

[AnOrangeCat]

When in doubt pray that God's will be done. Child abuse is a really unfortunate and heartbreaking thing, and I say this as someone who's been physically and emotionally abused. My personal view is that a lot of things that AREN'T God's will happen because we live in a sinful world. It's just God allowing humanity to largely live with the consequences of sin. It can be absolutely horrific sometimes but if you think about it then it really drives home the need for obedience to God and how awful things can be when people let sin reign over them. There's no Biblical guarantee that any of us will have an easy life free of pain and hardship.

What you've said about other Christians brings two things to mind. We're called the body of Christ. Everyone serves a purpose, has different burdens, and different callings. Ideally we all work together to advance the kingdom of God here on earth. If this is a matter close to your heart then take the initiative as you feel called! You should feel free to speak up on it during church and amongst other believers. The second thing to keep in mind is that looking at what other people in church are doing is often going to be a disappointing experience. We don't know their hearts, their callings, and what they do in secret like God does, whether they're doing good or evil. The BIble also tells us that there's going to be a lot of people who say "Lord, Lord" and get the boot because they were never sincere.

[integrity]

An orange cat, I'm sorry that you suffered through that. I am so happy that you found God to rely on. And thank you so much for commenting. It's a lot to think about and you make some great points about church. I think I needed to hear that.

[francesco]

Where is God's will?  Beyond general platitudes we must accept that God's will is a mystery.  While Christians believe that our God is a just and infinitely merciful God, exactly how He manifests His justice and mercy are often cloaked in secrecy.  It is not for us to know the inner workings here and now, but rather to proceed in faith and in His grace toward the beatific vision which is our promised birthright.  If the issue of child abuse bothers you greatly, then work in this area may be a specific calling for you.  Pray that a road may be shown to you.  Perhaps you may be able to do much to alleviate pain in this world.  Perhaps your background experiences of emotional neglect can be sublimated into someone else's salvation.   

[enoob57]

On 11/9/2020 at 2:53 PM, integrity said:

I was born into a christian family, went to church all my life, and I dont know if it's just my culture...but no one talk about child abuse, as in calling attention to the world wide problem of it  and definitely no one prays over it fervently. I wonder what is our purpose as Christian's towards it? People are basically told to reproduce and fill the earth...what about the children in foster care or orphanages? This is a stumbling block for me. I used to pray fervently about the issue of all the children unloved in this world, but what to pray? And is there a point?

It is an obedience thing:
 

Phil 4:8-9

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
KJV


There is nothing in child abuse that can be dwelt upon and not be disobedient to the above...

On 11/9/2020 at 2:53 PM, integrity said:

My heart goes to pieces if I actually think about this problem because I question God. Will He supernaturally rescue those children from their horrific circumstance (starvation, beating, sexual, verbal abuse)? If not, what is the point? Children dont deserve any of that.

As far as the first born within this world they are all sinners gone out of 'The Way'...
 

Luke 18:19

19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
KJV

when one starts from a false premise Scripture cannot be applied properly... there is a period of accountability and before that the child is excused from damnation but once accountability is arrived at then the damnation is in place...

Rom 3:23

23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
KJV
 

[missmuffet]

Question: "What does the Bible say about child abuse?"

Answer: The Bible does not specifically use the term child abuse. What the Bible does tell us is this: children have a special place in God’s heart and anyone who harms a child is inviting God’s wrath upon himself. When Jesus’ disciples tried to keep children from coming to Jesus, He rebuked them and welcomed the children to His side, saying, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark 10:14). Then He took the children in His arms and blessed them (verse 16). The Bible promotes child blessing, not child abuse.

Children are abused and mistreated in several different ways, all of which are abhorrent to God. The Bible prohibits child abuse in its warnings against improper anger. Too many children are the victims of angry beatings and other physical abuse as their parents take out their own anger and frustration on their children. Though some forms of physical discipline may be biblically acceptable, such discipline should never be administered in anger. Paul reminds the Ephesians, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26–27). Proverbs 29:22 says, “An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” There is no place for unrighteous or uncontrolled anger in the life of a Christian. Anger should be confessed to God and appropriately handled long before it comes to the point of physical abuse against a child or anyone else.

The Bible also prohibits child abuse in its condemnation of sexual sin. Sexual abuse or molestation is particularly devastating, and warnings against sexual sin abound in Scripture. To force sexual acts upon a child is a horrible, evil offense. In addition to committing a sexual sin, the perpetrator is also attacking the innocence of one of the world’s most vulnerable persons. Sexual abuse violates everything about a person from his or her understanding of self to physical boundaries to spiritual connection with God. In a child, these things are so barely established that they are often altered for life and without appropriate help may not ever heal.

Another way the Bible prohibits child abuse is in its forbidding of psychological and emotional abuse. Ephesians 6:4 warns fathers not to “exasperate” or provoke their children but to bring them up in the “training and instruction of the Lord.” Harsh, unloving verbal discipline, emotional manipulation, or volatile environments alienate children’s minds from their parents and render their instruction and correction useless. Parents can provoke and exasperate their children by placing unreasonable requirements on them, belittling them, or constantly finding fault, thereby producing wounds that can be as bad as or worse than any physical beating can inflict. Colossians 3:21 tells us not to “embitter” our children so they will not become discouraged. Ephesians 4:15–19 says we are to speak the truth in love and use our words to build others up, not allow rotten or destructive words to pour from our lips, especially toward the tender hearts and minds of children.

It is abundantly clear what the Bible teaches about the issue of child abuse. Child abuse in any form is evil. Anyone who suspects that a child is being abused has the obligation to report it to appropriate authorities. Anyone who has been abused or who has abused children can find hope, healing, and forgiveness in Jesus Christ. Talking to a pastor or finding a Christian counselor or a support group may be a good place to begin the journey to wholeness.

https://www.gotquestions.org/child-abuse.html

Edited November 11, 2020 by missmuffet

[integrity]

Thank you again, everyone who is commenting. I am reading all the comments, and mulling them over to understand it in my heart. I know there must be a reason why it's such a boulder in my heart. I know I have to seek God in this, and to understand what all of you are writing here. AGAIN I will not be so dramatic as to say I was abused. My mom did beat me out of anger, many many times. Treating me much more unfairly than my siblings. I was neglected by both parents. And there was plenty of verbal abuse. The funny thing is, my parents both love God. And they follow the bibles laws pretty strictly. Where I think they are almost legalistic or were thought our childhood. Anyways maybe this is why I can't get past this. How can people that love God be so blind to how they treated me? My 2 sick siblings (you cannot tell they have any problems though, totally normal well living lives)they waited on hand and foot. But the rest of us, especially me, well basically my mom treated us all like nuisance. Took out her anger on us all day long. Mainly me because I was always in the wrong place at the right time. I clung to Jesus like He was the only one who loved and cared about me. And He was. I love Him so much. Again I shouldnt look at other people. But how can people want to live by Gods law and respect it  but treat others, especially their children this way? Why are the fruits of the spirit not there? Again I am reading your comments so far and just pondering them. Idk I guess I have to forgive my parents daily especially my mom. But you know what is worse? I have confronted her numerous times about the unfair ess, because shes always trying to tell me how to act (when she did the complete opposite with us), and she thinks she did nothing wrong. "You're crazy integrity, I loved all of you the same. How can a mother love one child more than the others?" Idk mom you tell me. Anyways, I will pray on it, that I will not do the same to my babies. And also yes  I pray to make a difference in the unloved forgotten childrens lives. I pray God will push me towards it  because I need to understand why I have this rock in my heart.

[integrity]

I think it's something I have yet to surrender to God. Because it is such a big wound in my heart. I have a husband who loves me very much and children that I adore. But that wound is there. And it goes so deep, I know I need to trust God with it, but I havent had the courage to do that yet. Idk or the faith I guess. I do ask for His help very often to make that hurt feel better and to forgive my mom and my dad. I said it wrong. She did not beat me out of anger  she "disciplined" in a very angry state. I realize that could be 2 different things.

[Debp]

On 11/9/2020 at 12:53 PM, integrity said:

. I feel convicted to foster as soon as my babies get a bit older. But I look around and many of the Christians I know don't talk about it  no one at church brings it up for prayer. Barely anyone I know fosters. Idk lately I've been seeing how empty most Christian's are...they go to church obey Gods laws for purity but love and charity and caring for the parentless isnt on anyone's radar.

Hi, just wanted to comment on the above.

My elderly aunt has fostered many children.   She is a Christian and it is a great blessing to her to help the children.   She takes all of the children to church and they love it!   Maybe because my aunt provides a loving home, and they love my aunt. 

One little girl whose mother had drug problems begged my aunt to adopt her.   My aunt thought she was too old to adopt but the social worker encouraged her to adopt the girl.    My aunt has now been the adoptive mother of this girl for about eight years!  My aunt still fosters, too. 

She only has had one experience where a child has been so disturbed (dangerous) that she had to ask the social worker to take the child back.   My aunt's daughters also foster a few children and apparently it is working out well for everyone.

Maybe your pastor can ask a social worker with child services to speak to the congregation about the need for foster parents?   

[Marathoner]

Many good and worthwhile things have been shared with you here, @integrity, and it is not my intention to reiterate what others have offered. With that said, what @francesco has written is closest to my heart for within is expressed this simple truth:

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts."
(Isaiah 55:8-9 NASB) 

Words cannot express the depth of suffering so many in this world endure but be encouraged because the Lord, who has overcome the world, is acquainted with our grief and sorrows. In the same book of scripture --- the 53rd chapter --- the prophet Isaiah displays the suffering servant to us all, by far one of the most beautiful passages of scripture. He is our Lord Jesus Christ who was led like a lamb to the slaughter (Isaiah 53:7).   

I was abused and neglected as a child, despised by the mother who bore me into this world, and I had a terribly long way to travel to arrive at that day when the glory of God's Spirit delivered me from death itself. I will not lie... I struggled after the Lord delivered me with a mighty hand. Why?, I pleaded before our God, did I suffer so? It would have been better if I was never born!

It pleased the Lord to reveal His hand and so His Spirit illuminated my heart with Truth: just as He did with the man born blind, it was so His works might be displayed in me. This is inconceivable to our minds of flesh which testifies how God's ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts our own. 

You encourage me, my friend. The Spirit of God has burdened your heart for the little ones and for those who suffer all manner of evil under the sun. I hope you will be encouraged to learn that He has burdened many of us in precisely the same way and that you are not alone. I will pray for them with you.