I need help with OCD and Salvation doubts..

[JJ1996]

Dear All

After years of having a long track record of several forms of OCD (Car, Germs, Illnesses, being unclean spiritually and lots more) now I suffer from Relationship OCD which is getting worse and worse.
I am certain that all of this has to do with deep wounds in my heart, caused by how I grew up with little affection, little to no love from my father, and he being harsh and demanding.
Due to this I started to be a perfectionist, since I wanted to earn love so bad my entire life.

The same pattern started when I gave my life to God a few years ago, I looked at God and compared him to my father. I just couldn't connect the love of god (which I knew in my head) to my heart. So it's never been a ''loving'' relationship, rather a harsh, demanding and focused on rules and commandments type of relationship.

My biggest problems in the last years were: If I liked something, or wanted to buy something (ex. Car, Watch, or even start my studies, or going to the gym) doesn't really matter what, I immediately got the thought ''God doesn't want me to do that, or even: It is sin''
Now this could go from good things to bad things, but it has happened with the good things a lot more often. Strangely once I get the thought something is sin, or God doesn't want me to do that, I get real feelings of guilt as if the thing was actually sin..even tho it might be based off a lie

PROBLEM: A few months ago I got in a christian relationship with a girl I love very much, we are very committed and going towards marriage. I want to marry her and we focus a lot on god, we worship, read and attend church together. She has dragged me a lot towards god and vice versa. At the time we were getting to know each other, I didn't have any problems. As soon as I started to like her more and started to think that she might be a very good spouse and wanted to be with her. Something had happened in my mind while in church: I begun getting thoughts of: god doesn't want her to be mine, god doesn't want us to be together. And I love god, I would like to obey him so bad, but I am just not sure whether I am listening to a fear (OCD) or the Holy Spirit?

My Parents, church, Pastor, christian counselors, her all of them confirm that we are made to be together and there is nothing deadly wrong about our relationship. That it is serving god and going his direction. There were lots of signs and blessings to our relationship, even If I can't see them 100% clearly due to anxiety, there are noticeable signs of god being with us and blessing this relationship.

First my fears were: what if god doesn't want me with her, I am gonna suffer a lot if I still do it..

Then: Is it a conviction of the Holy Spirit warning/commanding me and I don't want to obey because I love this girl thus rebelling against god. Or is it a evil spirit trying to split us up, since we're stronger together and love each other and its a god centered relationship.

Then: I am going to lose my salvation since I am not listening to gods commandment or voice. This brought me massive anxiety in the last days, panic attack levels and the fear is just overwhelming.

Thanks for reading this, and I really would appreciate every help I can get.

Does this sound like OCD? Can I lose my salvation by not following gods voice or even disobeying what he is saying? Is he even saying this? Wouldn't there be more signs and confirmations if it would be so? I feel I am not able anymore to hear the voice of the spirit, since the fears are covering everything up..


Edit: I mean yes, in the beginning there was a time at which sin has happened between her and me, but we confessed and set boundaries and for weeks now we are keeping our relationship as pure as possible. Because we both want a relationship that pleases the lord.

[Billiards Ball]

18 hours ago, JJ1996 said:

Dear All

After years of having a long track record of several forms of OCD (Car, Germs, Illnesses, being unclean spiritually and lots more) now I suffer from Relationship OCD which is getting worse and worse.
I am certain that all of this has to do with deep wounds in my heart, caused by how I grew up with little affection, little to no love from my father, and he being harsh and demanding.
Due to this I started to be a perfectionist, since I wanted to earn love so bad my entire life.

The same pattern started when I gave my life to God a few years ago, I looked at God and compared him to my father. I just couldn't connect the love of god (which I knew in my head) to my heart. So it's never been a ''loving'' relationship, rather a harsh, demanding and focused on rules and commandments type of relationship.

My biggest problems in the last years were: If I liked something, or wanted to buy something (ex. Car, Watch, or even start my studies, or going to the gym) doesn't really matter what, I immediately got the thought ''God doesn't want me to do that, or even: It is sin''
Now this could go from good things to bad things, but it has happened with the good things a lot more often. Strangely once I get the thought something is sin, or God doesn't want me to do that, I get real feelings of guilt as if the thing was actually sin..even tho it might be based off a lie

PROBLEM: A few months ago I got in a christian relationship with a girl I love very much, we are very committed and going towards marriage. I want to marry her and we focus a lot on god, we worship, read and attend church together. She has dragged me a lot towards god and vice versa. At the time we were getting to know each other, I didn't have any problems. As soon as I started to like her more and started to think that she might be a very good spouse and wanted to be with her. Something had happened in my mind while in church: I begun getting thoughts of: god doesn't want her to be mine, god doesn't want us to be together. And I love god, I would like to obey him so bad, but I am just not sure whether I am listening to a fear (OCD) or the Holy Spirit?

My Parents, church, Pastor, christian counselors, her all of them confirm that we are made to be together and there is nothing deadly wrong about our relationship. That it is serving god and going his direction. There were lots of signs and blessings to our relationship, even If I can't see them 100% clearly due to anxiety, there are noticeable signs of god being with us and blessing this relationship.

First my fears were: what if god doesn't want me with her, I am gonna suffer a lot if I still do it..

Then: Is it a conviction of the Holy Spirit warning/commanding me and I don't want to obey because I love this girl thus rebelling against god. Or is it a evil spirit trying to split us up, since we're stronger together and love each other and its a god centered relationship.

Then: I am going to lose my salvation since I am not listening to gods commandment or voice. This brought me massive anxiety in the last days, panic attack levels and the fear is just overwhelming.

Thanks for reading this, and I really would appreciate every help I can get.

Does this sound like OCD? Can I lose my salvation by not following gods voice or even disobeying what he is saying? Is he even saying this? Wouldn't there be more signs and confirmations if it would be so? I feel I am not able anymore to hear the voice of the spirit, since the fears are covering everything up..


Edit: I mean yes, in the beginning there was a time at which sin has happened between her and me, but we confessed and set boundaries and for weeks now we are keeping our relationship as pure as possible. Because we both want a relationship that pleases the lord.

The thing holding you to OCD is guilt. Guilt is tough, because it never says you've done enough, prayed enough, washed enough, cleaned enough, etc. The Bible says to take those thoughts captive to Christ. I feel dirty because . . . wait, that's not who Jesus made me to be. I've nothing to feel guilty of.

First, ensure you've trusted Jesus, not yourself, for salvation.

Next, get with some folks who can help you to have extended time alone in nature and steer you to encounter a LOVING God.

[AnOrangeCat]

OCD and intrusive thoughts are rough. I tend to have them myself. A verse that sticks out to me in relation to them is II Corinthians 10:5: "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"

At least in my mind when intrusive thoughts and OCD eat into our lives, emotional wellbeing, and make us doubt our salvation they fit the bill because they run contrary to what's in God's Word. God is faithful and loving and has made promises to us about our salvation. Thoughts that run against that do exalt themselves against the knowledge of God.

There's nothing wrong with a healthy degree of wondering if something is the right thing to do, of course. It's why we pray and consult with other Christians. But it can and often does go overboard especially where OCD is confirmed and can very much lock us down. In addition to prayer it's probably worth some therapy and experimenting with different methods of control to find out which one works for you. Just keep in mind that it's a work in progress.

[BK1110]

Remain rooted in scripture. Study is fervently each day. Pray to God for guidance. With scripture and prayer as your foundation, live it out. Trust scripture above your own mind and heart. Following what you know to be true from scripture even with doubts persisting in your heart (even when those doubts have a facade of pleasing God laid over them) is glorifying God by cherishing his word above your own heart and emotions and desires.

Remember that as a true Christian the devil is limited in what he can do to you. He has already lost the battle for your eternal future. All he can do is try to make you miserable in this life and to stunt your growth with fear and doubt and sin. Fight these with scripture and prayer each day!

I am praying for you, brother!

[JustClay]

Hebrews 11:6

6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Father longs to be gracious to you @JJ1996!  He wants you to experience the unconditional love you missed as a child, and he wants you to be able to give that kind of love to others.   Keep seeking Him in your daily life;  believe His voice.  His voice tells us that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).  You can trust in that promise.  Even if you make a mistake, He forgives and sets you back on the right path—as long as you are abiding in Him.  Keep Him first, and He will bless you—not because of your faith, but because  He IS and He is faithful!  

[Who me]

On 6/9/2021 at 7:22 PM, JJ1996 said:

After years of having a long track record of several forms of OCD (Car, Germs, Illnesses, being unclean spiritually and lots more) now I suffer from Relationship OCD which is getting worse and worse

 

Basic questions.

Have you been diagnosed and are you on medication and seeing a therapist?

Does your family, pastor and girlfriend understand ocd?

Do you have any processes taught to you by your doctor, therapist etc to help you deal with the intrusive thoughts your ocd generates?

 

Doubts and questions, there is nothing wrong with having them, so long as you are finding answers or believe the answers.

 

I recommend that those who suffer from ocd look up the online article :-. 25 tips for successfully treating your ocd.

Written by a psychiatrist to help his patients.

Find it, read it, share it with your parent, girlfriend and pastor etc so they know a little more about your condition and how they can help you.

 

Two basic and brutal facts.

You are responsible for your treatment, to take medication correctly and follow medical instructions.

And

Intrusive thoughts are not real.

 

By that you said when thinking about buying a car. You had thoughts that said A real Christian wouldn't buy it or that you weren't a Christian!

These sort of thoughts are not real, all you do is acknowledge these thoughts, say ' Yes that is right. ' and carry on.

You may need additional medication to calm your thoughts down while you use technics like this to cope with your intrusive thoughts.