Learning to Forgive

[kittylover0991]

How do you get over an anger that lies buried deep inside.. one that has been growing over many years.. how do you get over the anger of an event that happened previosly where people said things that still hurt today? How do you learn to forgive them? How do you turn that hatred towards them to love? How does one deal with when people of the wordl keep bringing up stuff from your past and using it against you.. when there is no way to say that the Lord has changed your heart since then.... How do deal with no longer wanting to be here(not suicidal.. dont' worry about that) and wishing you were never born..

and then not being able to tell anyone? How do you get over hating yourself for things you ahve done in the past... and get over putting on that mask at church.. and hating that you cannot talk to anyone without getting the one response of prayer...

How do you get over hating everythign in your life and having no one to talk about it? how do you forgive those around you and yourself.. how do you forgive God for something that happened, even when deep down in your heart you know he didnt' do anything wrong. I knwo that this all probalby doesn't make much since.. but how do you get over being in a life you hate more than Hell itself?

[refugepsa91]

How do you get over an anger that lies buried deep inside.. one that has been growing over many years.. how do you get over the anger of an event that happened previosly where people said things that still hurt today? How do you learn to forgive them? How do you turn that hatred towards them to love? How does one deal with when people of the wordl keep bringing up stuff from your past and using it against you..

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Threrefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19-21

Give it all to God, he will take care of...never feel the need to defend yourself over past deeds...if you have asken for forgiveness and repented then you don't have to answer to them.

For if our heart condem us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

1John 3:20

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

when there is no way to say that the Lord has changed your heart since then....

If you can't say the Lord has changed your heart to these people, then be a silent example...speak with your actions not your words.

How do you get over hating everythign in your life and having no one to talk about it? how do you forgive those around you and yourself.. how do you forgive God for something that happened, even when deep down in your heart you know he didnt' do anything wrong.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1Peter 5:7

The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust him. Nahum 1:7

Why are thou cast down, O my soul? and why are thou disquieted within me?

[Avodah]

I prayed for the people who had hurt me, and as I prayed and also as I told the Lord "I forgive them" (even if I didn't feel it), He began to place a compassion and a love for them in my heart. As that compassion and love grew, I found forgiveness had also come.

I really feel that one of the best ways to forgive and to love a person who has done you wrong is to pray for them. When I first started praying for them, it wasn't very heartfelt and it wasn't very convincing either, but the more I prayed, the more I began to see them as the Lord saw them and the more fervently I began to pray.

This is my experience, it certainly can't hurt to try

I hope this helps!

I will be praying for you.

[Christ's Free Servant]

Biblical formula for loving your enemies:

.Pray for them

.Do good for them

.Bless them (say nice things about them)

Forgiving means letting go. It means a conscious choice of your will to no longer hold the anger inside and no longer wish to get even. Every time you feel anger, you release it to God and instead you put on love, prayer, thinking and saying nice things, etc.

[NITE OWL]

I know the place you're talking about. It's not a nice place to be. I have more skeletons in my closet then the graveyard down the road.

Forgiving someone for something they did to you is not easy....at least in the beginning. Learning forgiveness isn't something that comes automatically once we find God. It takes time and patience. And when something or someone keeps reminding you of your past, it makes it even harder.

When a person turns to God and accepts Christ as their Lord and Savior, he basically steps into a world where the supernatural is very real. There are spirits out there that are fighting for and against us. A lot of these battles take place without us even knowing it.

All those feelings you have, ( anger, guilt, hatred, etc. ) are the work of satan. He knows what buttons to push in order to get you to react. And once he gets your attention, bang, you fall. Stumbling's not a big deal unless you stay down. That's what the devil wants. He wants you to feel all those negative emotions. He wants you to be mad. He wants you to hate. He likes to whisper in our ears "remember when".

The trick to defeating him is to recognize his tactic's. It's understanding that when those negative feelings start filling your head that it's him pushing your button's.

One thing to remember is that the only power the devil has is what we give him.

Ok, I'm going to show you something. I want you to pay attention because this is really important.

I used to pray all the time and nothing really came of it. That is until I really started paying attention to the teaching's of Christ.

In Luke 11:1 one of Christ disciples said "Lord, teach us to pray". Did you catch that? Christ's own disciples didn't know how to pray. So He gave them the Lord's prayer.

That's what I want you to do. When you go the Father in prayer, start your prayer's with the Lord's prayer, then continue with your own. Tell Him what's troubling you. Lay your card's on the table. Admit that you're nothing without Him.

Ask Him to fill you with the Spirit of peace. Ask Him to take away the pain you're feeling in your heart. Ask Him to convict the hearts of those who like throwing your past in your face. Don't wish bad things on these people. If you do, your prayer's are wasted.

Do this every day. Find a nice quiet spot and pour your heart out to the Lord. If you do this with an honest heart, I guarantee that you will see changes in your life.

Study the new testament. Don't just read it. Study it.

One more thing. Pray before you read. Ask for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. It doesn't do any good to read the bible if you don't know what you're reading.

That's about all I got for now. Remember...if you do these things you will see changes in your life. They may not happen overnight, but they will happen.

You have a good one kiddo...and remember.

In His name.

[jesussaves]

There is a place in the Lord that we can rest in when hurts seem to keep us emotionally bruised. It is not always easy to lay it all at His feet and forgive those who have hurt us so deeply. Sometimes we may even hurt after we know we have forgiven. The Lord is near to those with a broken heart. He knows your pain. His heart has been broken, too.

Sometimes the devil will keep bringing those painful memories to you when you think you have gotten over it, but there is a placein the Lord we can rest in when the devil flings his darts of discouragement and lies.

When we go to the Father, telling Him our deepest hurts and asking Him to help us forgive, and asking Him to heal our pain and keep our hearts tender and loving toward others. Asking Him to help us be quick to forgive, never holding onto it even one night. Asking Him to help us not become bitter over anything, but to always walk in love.

There is a place in the Lord we can rest in, a place filled with sweet, sweet promises to Him children. Promises that speak to our hearts when we are in any kind of need. Promises that cause us to rise up in praises to the One who loves us, and helps us forget those things that are behind and press on toward the Prize.

His banner over us is love. His covering over us is love. His hiding place is love. He is Love.

May His strong arms of love reach around you today and melt away the pain and the past that holds you captive. May He fill your days with His peace and joy as He fills your heart with the ability to walk in the fruits of love. Look into the face of God through His word and see Him smile upon you as His love pours over your broken spirit and mends it.

Acknowledge that you cannot do it, but you know He can and that you need Him to help you. Don't hold anything back. Give it to the Lord.

[Guest anotherchristiangirl]

Hi again kittylover --

This all makes sense to me ....I UNDERSTAND Everything you are saying..

I have been there and still am working things out in my life..

You have to give it all to Jesus.... lay it at his feet .. and ask Him to change you.. and then when you do that.. you have to be willing to submit yourself to Him.. no matter how hard it gets.. because healing and changing are not easy things to do..

You have to ignore everyone around you.. (unless they are encouraging you in Jesus) and perhaps even stay away, get away or whatever .. from some peole.. even if they are family!! Just cling to beautiful Jesus ..Jesus actually led me 3000 miles away from my family and friends to begin my healing.. and my healing actually started with the death of my daughter 6 years ago...

Find out in the word what JESUS thinks about you.. and cling to that VERY TIGHTLY.. look up and seek his beautiful face!!! Jesus loves YOU SO MUCH.. and he wants to heal you..

I could never have healed from my past.. if it werent for Him... He pulled me up out the mirey muck and has changed my life! He turned my mourning to dancing..

I owe him everything... AND HE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND HEAL YOU TOO! You just have to turn it over to him! Tthere is so much to say.. and I want to so much to encourage you to not give up.. and to seek Jesus.. and TRUST HIM.. He will come to where you are.. YOu don't have to clean up your act first... He'll come to you and then help you clean up your act... if you call out to Him.. He will be there.. stay in His Word.. talk to Him.. and LISTEN for Him.. FORGIVING others.. and YOUR SELF IS IMPORTANT.. you need to do this.. you have to..

How? Jesus.. that is all I can say.. you will find forgiveness in Jesus.. and no where else!! You will find healing in Jesus and nowhere else!

Jesus is full of Love and Mercy -- and when you hurt so does he.. He loves you so much!!

Fill your mind with the Word.. I used to be tormented by never ending thoughts of things I did in my life..things people did to me.. the rejection.. and pain in my life.. was unbearable.. and I was riddled with guilt and shame and condemnation.. whihc was just as much unbearable..

Jesus took all that away from me.. I just filled myself up with HIM.. by reading His word and constantly playing Christian music.. and praying..praying praying..

Its not easy.. its painful.. but Jesus LOVES YOU!! And he wants to make you whole again.. Just keep seeking Him... and things will begin to change...

The day came when instead of condemning thoughts in the middle of the night.. I was signing NEW SONGS..

Kitty.. my life was not pretty.. I'm not gonna lay it all out here.. but my heart cried your same cry!!

Now my past seems like a distant life.. I am still working things out.. ".. but me and Jesus are working them out TOGETHER.. its a long journey.. a huge process to heal and change.. but day by day.. little by little.. Jesus changes you.. you heal.. you begin to do things for Him back.. and life is good..not perfect by all means.. but good.. no awesome.. even in trials.. its still awesome when you have Jesus!! There is a happy ending to it.. there is in Jesus..

You can send me a message if you ever want to talk..

He loves YOU!

Edited August 17, 2005 by anotherchristiangirl

[RustyAngeL]

Forgivness is tough. I don't know about anyone else but forgetting is easier then forgiving...or maybe I should say putting it behind me. Either way it's impossible without God.

[larryt]

How do you get over an anger that lies buried deep inside.. one that has been growing over many years.. how do you get over the anger of an event that happened previosly where people said things that still hurt today? How do you learn to forgive them? How do you turn that hatred towards them to love? How does one deal with when people of the wordl keep bringing up stuff from your past and using it against you.. when there is no way to say that the Lord has changed your heart since then.... How do deal with no longer wanting to be here(not suicidal.. dont' worry about that) and wishing you were never born.. 

and then not being able to tell anyone? How do you get over hating yourself for things you ahve done in the past... and get over putting on that mask at church.. and hating that you cannot talk to anyone without getting the one response of prayer...

How do you get over hating everythign in your life and having no one to talk about it? how do you forgive those around you and yourself.. how do you forgive God for something that happened, even when deep down in your heart you know he didnt' do anything wrong. I knwo that this all probalby doesn't make much since.. but how do you get over being in a life you hate more than Hell itself?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi KL,

Many people are looking for some sort of feeling or emotion in forgiveness. I find that forgiveness is a resolution of the mind and will. Charles Stanley came up with a definition of forgiveness that has made a great deal of sense to me. Definitions are good because with wisdom we are to seek to get understanding also proverbs tells us.

Forgiveness - determining to live with the consequences of the sin/actions of others.

All sin produces consequences and some of them ar painful. Our sin caused the suffering of our beloved Savior and He forgave us, accepting the consequences of our sins. He determined to endure the consequences of our sins and because He did we can know how to endure when we are wronged.

Hope this helps.

Eph 4:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ

[Guest anotherchristiangirl]

Forgivness is tough.

Edited August 18, 2005 by anotherchristiangirl