As a Christian how do I reconcile my conservative values with a liberal Christian?

[AnOrangeCat]

10 hours ago, debrakay said:

How am I able to have any relationship or meaningful conversations with any one who believe like this?  It just keeps getting harder and harder to be around those who are not aligned with the values, morals, and ideals of my Christian faith.  I tend to avoid them. 

After a certain point you either don't have a relationship or meaningful conversation with them or you just avoid the sensitive topics. There's no reconciling when it comes to values that are opposed to each other. You say your piece, they say theirs, and it can back and forth but after a while the topic runs its course. You did your part.

[JohnD]

Agree to disagree agreeably, pray for them... and be open minded about your own beliefs.

They may be a bit more conditioned into your thinking than you believe.

For example... The LORD commanded the reapers not reap to the corners of a field to provide for the poor.

The tithes that were to be brought into the storehouse were not to just beautify the storehouse...

In these times of extremes (IMHO abject communism under the guise of liberalism) it's hard to even consider

giving those who would steal an election even an inch of ground... but in my experience reality (where the world exists)

is somewhere between both extremes... 

 

How you relate this to a liberal (who today is so profusely zeroed in on ONLY THEIR BELIEFS ) is beyond me. Good luck, Godspeed.

[missmuffet]

11 hours ago, debrakay said:

I am fully aware that Jesus told us to love one another.  But we are also told not to be yoked with unbelievers.  I have some friends who say they are Christian but believe people should be able to love and marry whatever gender one prefers.  They believe a person can choose to be a different gender than what they were born as.  They have no issues with transgender.  They have no issues with biological males competing in sports against females. They believe abortion is a form of birth control.  They believe Donald Trump, and many of his family and supporters, are evil and tools of the devil. (They know my husband and I are Trump supporters so that topic is never on the table when we are around, but others have told me their thoughts.) They believe any one who wants to come into America should be allowed to move in and live life here as a citizen with all rights.  They believe the police system needs to be abolished.  They believe no one should own a gun.  There are probably more issues we are not in agreement on but this is enough to start the conversation.  

How am I able to have any relationship or meaningful conversations with any one who believe like this?  It just keeps getting harder and harder to be around those who are not aligned with the values, morals, and ideals of my Christian faith.  I tend to avoid them.  I tend to make excuses to not be around them due to me feeling uncomfortable and afraid that conversations will go that direction.  I have lost several people from my life in the past decade because of my beliefs and their beliefs conflicting.  Do I just let them go and let God take care of them?  The older I get the less I want any of the drama but what if the Lord wants these people in my life?  These friends are not close friends but have been in my life off and on for decades.

Thanks for any input or advice on this.

I would pray for them first. That their heart would be open to Jesus Christ and the true gospel. I would tell them my christian view without getting into a heated discussion. You can have a casual relationship with them but keep your christian discernment on full alert. 

[debrakay]

Thank you all for the scriptures, thoughts and advice.  You each gave me words to pray about and contemplate.  I lost my blood brother 25 years ago because of my beliefs and his unbelief.  He basically told me (in not-so-nice words) to never darken his doorstep again.  I have not.  He lives about 2 miles from me and we live in a very small town but we have managed to stay out of each other's way.  It took him many years to stop waving at me with a certain finger.

I try not to have any anxiety when I know the friends I am speaking of are mostly likely going to be at an event I will also be attending.  I pray and then know I will need to choose my words wisely.  They know my stance on many things and I honestly think they sometimes try to engage me in certain conversations just to see how I will react. 

As the years have passed and I get closer and closer to the Lord,  I have felt the pull of the Holy Spirit saying to let them go.  It's hard sometimes to let people go that you have grown up with since childhood especially if they have been deceived by the deceiver and do not know it.  We are suppose to witness to the lost but sometimes we need to let someone else do that witnessing.  It's time to wipe their dust from my feet and find others to speak the words of Jesus into.  I will be kind but if they approach me with baited conversations, I will need to politely turn and go.  

Thank you each for your words of wisdom and confirmation of what the Holy Spirit has been saying to me in the past few years! Blessings to you!! 

[Riverwalker]

13 hours ago, debrakay said:

I am fully aware that Jesus told us to love one another.  But we are also told not to be yoked with unbelievers.  I have some friends who say they are Christian but believe people should be able to love and marry whatever gender one prefers.  They believe a person can choose to be a different gender than what they were born as.  They have no issues with transgender.  They have no issues with biological males competing in sports against females. They believe abortion is a form of birth control.  They believe Donald Trump, and many of his family and supporters, are evil and tools of the devil. (They know my husband and I are Trump supporters so that topic is never on the table when we are around, but others have told me their thoughts.) They believe any one who wants to come into America should be allowed to move in and live life here as a citizen with all rights.  They believe the police system needs to be abolished.  They believe no one should own a gun.  There are probably more issues we are not in agreement on but this is enough to start the conversation.  

How am I able to have any relationship or meaningful conversations with any one who believe like this?  It just keeps getting harder and harder to be around those who are not aligned with the values, morals, and ideals of my Christian faith.  I tend to avoid them.  I tend to make excuses to not be around them due to me feeling uncomfortable and afraid that conversations will go that direction.  I have lost several people from my life in the past decade because of my beliefs and their beliefs conflicting.  Do I just let them go and let God take care of them?  The older I get the less I want any of the drama but what if the Lord wants these people in my life?  These friends are not close friends but have been in my life off and on for decades.

Thanks for any input or advice on this.

Step one, you have to see them as they are

While I am no one's judge. The bible is very clear on its stance regarding sexual sin and murder (abortion) and other liberal issues. So I would have to say by all appearance these people are not Christian in their hearts.  The final call is of course God's but He did say this about compromising Christians

Revelation 3:

14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;

15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Once you realize these people are not walking on the same path you are, then you can begin to deal with them

 

[debrakay]

1 minute ago, Riverwalker said:

Once you realize these people are not walking on the same path you are, then you can begin to deal with them

I think I have known this for a long time but just did not want to admit it.  I have had co-workers who were Jehovah Witness.  We never discussed religion.  I have had friends who were Mormons.  We did not discuss religion.   But these childhood friends attend Christian churches and the discussion about religion and belief have continually spiraled into where I am today with them.  It makes me sad.  

[kamptlneb]

Debrakay, how I feel your pain.  I have had the same thing in my life.  It's impossible to have meaningful discussions with these types of people, and what you can safely talk about gets smaller and smaller as the world falls deeper into darkness.  It is truly sad thing, to watch the people you love or have known most of your life fall hook, link and sinker for all the lies.  

I always try to be neutral and never let them bait me, which usually angers them so it's a no win situation. For me, there are some I avoid, because it gives me so much anxiety and grief to be in their presence. 

I made the decision a few years ago to try and not have relationships with these types of people.   They drain my cup dry.

 

[Who me]

On 7/5/2021 at 7:25 PM, debrakay said:

 But these childhood friends attend Christian churches and the discussion about religion and belief have continually spiraled into where I am today with them. 

 

If they and there churches do not accept scripture as the final authority on life and spirituality, then you have to accept they are Not Christian.

Your conversations should start with scripture and end with it.

 

Challenge them about authority. They do not accept that the bible limits sex to within hetrosexual marriage. How then do they redefine/inturpret John3:16-18?

[Ancient]

On 7/5/2021 at 2:56 PM, debrakay said:

I am fully aware that Jesus told us to love one another.  But we are also told not to be yoked with unbelievers.  I have some friends who say they are Christian but believe people should be able to love and marry whatever gender one prefers.  They believe a person can choose to be a different gender than what they were born as.  They have no issues with transgender.  They have no issues with biological males competing in sports against females. They believe abortion is a form of birth control.  They believe Donald Trump, and many of his family and supporters, are evil and tools of the devil. (They know my husband and I are Trump supporters so that topic is never on the table when we are around, but others have told me their thoughts.) They believe any one who wants to come into America should be allowed to move in and live life here as a citizen with all rights.  They believe the police system needs to be abolished.  They believe no one should own a gun.  There are probably more issues we are not in agreement on but this is enough to start the conversation.  

How am I able to have any relationship or meaningful conversations with any one who believe like this?  It just keeps getting harder and harder to be around those who are not aligned with the values, morals, and ideals of my Christian faith.  I tend to avoid them.  I tend to make excuses to not be around them due to me feeling uncomfortable and afraid that conversations will go that direction.  I have lost several people from my life in the past decade because of my beliefs and their beliefs conflicting.  Do I just let them go and let God take care of them?  The older I get the less I want any of the drama but what if the Lord wants these people in my life?  These friends are not close friends but have been in my life off and on for decades.

Thanks for any input or advice on this.

Simple answer you can't. Bible say to be Holy for I am Holy (set Apart). Biblical love does not mean accepting everyone. When a parent chastises a child or rebukes them is this not also love. Love needs to be understood in the original languages not from a modern English understanding of love. In Greek there are 4 different words  for love and also in Hebrew there are several different words for love. All are used different ways.

In English I could ask 100 different people of what they think love is and I am sure to get many many different views and understanding of what they think love is. This is the problem with trying to understand the scriptures from our modern perspective. The scriptures were written from 3,ooo to 2,000 years ago in different languages and a totally different culture. 

I can say I love my nans cookies, and I love my wife, obviously these are 2 different meanings. But the same English word is used. Whereas in the original languages of Hebrew and Greek the word tells you what type of love is being expressed or used. This is also the same with so many other different English words used in translation of the original languages. The best one can try and do is go back to the original source and educate yourself and I am sure your understanding of the scriptures will be so much richer and deeper.

Shalom friend

Ancient

Edited August 5, 2021 by Ancient