Why do kids follow after their abusive parents

[unspokenrequest]

My dad was abusive and it is really something how his sons became the same way. Mom did nothing to control them while they were little and the abuse change them in a negative way. They did not mature and she can't tame them now and I am now having to deal with abuse 2.0 . Will anyone ever love me to get me out of this. Better yet the rapture just come and end the suffering for the Christians who deal with abuse???

[Selah7]

20 minutes ago, unspokenrequest said:

My dad was abusive and it is really something how his sons became the same way. Mom did nothing to control them while they were little and the abuse change them in a negative way. They did not mature and she can't tame them now and I am now having to deal with abuse 2.0 . Will anyone ever love me to get me out of this. Better yet the rapture just come and end the suffering for the Christians who deal with abuse???

Please don’t give up on God and His promises.  Jesus will always love you.  

Matthew 5:11-12

11 Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.  

[BK1110]

I am praying for you. God has put you in a unique position to witness to your family though your being different. I pray he will use that to draw them away from their abusive ways and into a relationship with him!

[Who me]

2 hours ago, unspokenrequest said:

My dad was abusive and it is really something how his sons became the same way. Mom did nothing to control them while they were little and the abuse change them in a negative way. They did not mature and she can't tame them now and I am now having to deal with abuse 2.0 . Will anyone ever love me to get me out of this. Better yet the rapture just come and end the suffering for the Christians who deal with abuse???

 

In recognising the problem you are taking the first of many steps to change.

 

May I suggest that you get a book on Christian parenting, if such a book exists, and read it. Otherwise talk to you pastor about your fears and ask for advice, counselling or teaching on Christian parenting.

As to wheather someone will want to marry you? All I can suggest is talk to girls and see where it leads.

two suggestions. Keep to the highest Christian standards, no sex before marriage and second look for a Christian girl who is firmly set on biblical and not emotional convictions,

 

Far to many people claim to be 'christian' because of some emotional feeling!  do not trust such feelings.

[JohnR7]

9 hours ago, unspokenrequest said:

My dad was abusive and it is really something how his sons became the same way. Mom did nothing to control them while they were little and the abuse change them in a negative way. They did not mature and she can't tame them now and I am now having to deal with abuse 2.0 . Will anyone ever love me to get me out of this. Better yet the rapture just come and end the suffering for the Christians who deal with abuse???

Lots of people protect children from abuse. Doctors, police, children services and so on. If a teacher at school becomes aware of an abusive situation they are required by law to file a report so that an evaluation can be done. If a person goes to jail for being abusive the gov has to protect them from all the people who have been abused in the prison. 

We do have power, authority and protection through God and the angels. People need to learn about the authority they have. It is a difficult question as to why God allows abuse and how He can cause good to come out of that. Because his promise to us is that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. 

As parents we do our best to be a better parent than our parents were for us. My father was a pediatrician for over 50 years. It was his job to help people to be good parents. Eventually he started to figure it out but it took him a lot of trial and error. There are functional and dysfunctional families and God is able to redeem dysfunctional people. 

If you look at slavery they used a lot of fear to control people. With God there is no fear, only power, love and a sound mind. So this is a part of the redemption process and this is what it means to be born again and a new creation in Christ. Old things pass away and all becomes new. (2cor5:17)

[Leonardo Von]

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Why do kids follow after their abusive parents

This doesn't need to take place. See this excerpt:

• Eze 18:14-19 -> "And, lo, if he fathers a son who sees all his father's sins which he has done, and fears, and does not do like him; who has not eaten on the mountains; nor has lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel; has not defiled his neighbor's wife; nor has ill-treated any man; has not withheld the pledge; nor has robbed by violence; but has given his bread to the hungry; and has covered the naked with clothes; has withdrawn his hand from the poor; has not received usury nor increase; has done My judgments; has walked in My statutes; he shall not die for the iniquity of his father; he shall surely live. His father, because he extorted, robbed his brother by robbery, and did what is not good among his people; lo, even he shall die in his iniquity. Yet you say, Why? Does not the son bear the iniquity of the father? When the son has done justice and right, has kept all My statutes, and has done them, he shall surely live. 

 

[LearningToLetGo]

On 7/23/2021 at 12:54 PM, unspokenrequest said:

My dad was abusive and it is really something how his sons became the same way.

Children often act out the same behavior they observe in their parents as a form of love. It's as if the child says, "I love you, therefore I am the same as you." This pattern is deeply unconscious and can span many generations. The best you can do is acknowledge it for what it is -- a primitive attempt to express love -- and let it go. Don't replicate the pattern in your life. 

 

Matthew 5:43-48 (ESV)

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.