The Roots Of Bitterness

[Marathoner]

5 hours ago, Josheb said:

Healing takes time. 

Sometimes the wound must be revisited to remove scar tissue. No different with the soul than it is with the body. 

This has been my experience. 

You'll recall where I recently touched upon some of my childhood experiences, @Starise. Bear in mind that I merely recounted these experiences, some of which might seem perfectly terrible on the surface. Ah, but seeing as how it was neither appropriate nor topically relevant to delve into how those experiences shaped me --- and how everything which I endured was according to the will of the Lord who created me --- I didn't relate the other side of the story. 

"All's well that ends well" is shorthand for that other side, but by no means was the other side reached swiftly. Many years later, after the Lord gathered me into Himself, the subject of my mother surfaced once more. A wound must be examined to remove scar tissue, and there is no better healer than our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Over time she would come up again and again, and all I could experience was gut-wrenching grief that the woman who bore me into this world hated my guts. The matter was confounded by her refusal to have anything to do with me --- she had "disowned" me when I dropped everything to seek Christ --- and so I acquired the understanding that what little we had when I was still in diapers ended when the beatings began. 

Revisiting the wound again I wept for this loss, coming to terms with the truth that this separation was not due to anything I did (or didn't do). It wasn't my fault nor doing. I had yet to become acquainted with a bigger picture, however. This wouldn't come until after she passed away.

The youngest of my siblings remained in "secret" sporadic contact with me over the years, and when she shared knowledge about my mother that was unknown to me beforehand I was shaken by the revelation. Did this knowledge exonerate my mother of her deeds?

No, of course not. However, what I learned led me to weep for her sake. The Lord liberated this wound of more scar tissue thereby, which is an affirmation of "healing takes time." 

The final destination before reaching that other side was delivered by the woman who became my mother. When she learned about my childhood and specifically all that my mother had endured, she embraced me and said, "forgive her."

Yes, it was clear that the Lord intended for me to stand as her son (and not the one who had forsaken me), but in the end this made no difference at all. The Lord made it possible for me to let go and forgive the woman who bore me into this world, but that took many years to realize.    

[Marathoner]

We are offered insight into the unfathomable mercy of the Lord, then, when He blesses us with the honor of forgiving those who trespass against us. He is our teacher, is He not? And He will teach us no matter what we endure in this world. 

I reached the other side when the Lord reminded me that as He has forgiven me, I am to forgive others. Christ has forgiven me of so much that His lesson arrived with the healing of an old and terrible wound. It was good that I forgive my mother of what I suffered by her hand, because my Lord and God is our example in all things. 

Forgiveness is not an excuse. It is a deliberate action whereby we proclaim, "I will not accuse this one of wrongdoing." This is an expression of what our Savior has done for us by His blood, for we are held blameless in the sight of God our Father. 

The Lord has forgiven us of much and this knowledge is of inestimable value in overcoming bitterness, grief, and terrible wounds.  

[Ani Tefillah]

6 hours ago, Warrior of truth said:

I was just explaining above that I despise Satan. I just feel like sometimes i focus on it too much and it gets me down seeing Satan manifest his evil on the world.

But I suppose its best to know the truth of evil even if it is shocking and hard to accept. I always want to know where Satan is. Im always in the watch tower looking out for Satan. If i can't see Satan then he might be deceiving me so i always want to see where he is and what his doing.

I understand, however I also think that I must not let the evil (one) consume me (overcome me), but try to overcome evil with good. 😊 

[Starise]

8 hours ago, MonicaWife said:

I understand, however I also think that I must not let the evil (one) consume me (overcome me), but try to overcome evil with good. 😊 

Well said. One of the tools of our warfare is the "preparation of the gospel of PEACE"

Wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

Evil wants to command our space, to engulf our lives, to fool us into thinking we are not going to win.

In truth we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ. Evil puts on a good front, but evil has already lost.

[Marathoner]

15 minutes ago, Josheb said:

I should clarify my prior post because 1) I have matured and improved a) my ability to NOT take offence and b) forgive more authentically and completely greater substance, and 2) the harsher wounds are those where the need for forgiveness remains, and 3) knowing God better leads to conduct mor in keeping with His character. Practice improves performance. 

Imagine how often God does NOT take offense when He could. 

This is why I consider it the greatest of honors to be thrust into circumstances where #1, #1a+#1b, and #2 make it possible for us to walk in #3. 

That's His work in us: sowed when we were still strangers, grown and pruned through His discipline and teaching, and bearing fruit through testing and trial. I can say the following with confidence, brother.

I am better for what the Lord has subjected me to. It's His work after all. I never would have chosen the paths I have taken but I don't have to fret about such things. The Lord has His way with us!

[Alive]

It has been pointed out that lackmof forgiveness leads to bitterness.

I agree. Just as in the forgiveness thread, I would like to reinforce I am convinced that forgiveness is directly proportional to our true realization of our own need for the same.

It is indeed a process and our Lord knows this. It is important to be always aware, that he knows how we are made.

[grahampaul]

i tend to forgive as soon as the wrongs done and then seek Gods guidence kinda find it simpler that way.if its something beyond my control  i like to rest in Gods words..".Vengence is mine saith the  Lord..i will repay"

[branchesofHim]

On 2/13/2022 at 7:48 PM, Starise said:

Ask God to help you pull this weed from your garden or it will destroy your relationship to Him.

Bitterness can affect our ability to hear the voice of God. The writer of Hebrews relates bitterness to Israel not being able to hear God's voice. If you don't have communication, you have a limited relationship. Shalom

Hebrews 12:[15] Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
[16] Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.
[17] For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.
[18] For ye are not come unto the mount that might be touched, and that burned with fire, nor unto blackness, and darkness, and tempest,
[19] And the sound of a trumpet, and the voice of words; which voice they that heard intreated that the word should not be spoken to them any more:
[20] (For they could not endure that which was commanded, And if so much as a beast touch the mountain, it shall be stoned, or thrust through with a dart:
[21] And so terrible was the sight, that Moses said, I exceedingly fear and quake:)
[22] But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels,
[23] To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect,
[24] And to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel.
[25] See that ye refuse not him that speaketh. For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth, much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him that speaketh from heaven:
[26] Whose voice then shook the earth: but now he hath promised, saying, Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven.
 

[Starise]

14 hours ago, grahampaul said:

i tend to forgive as soon as the wrongs done and then seek Gods guidence kinda find it simpler that way.if its something beyond my control  i like to rest in Gods words..".Vengence is mine saith the  Lord..i will repay"

That tends to be the way I operate when I have been the perpetrator  most of the time which leads some to think that sometimes I wasn't sincere. It happened "too fast" for them to think I had time to think about it. As a person who must forgive others I guess it depends on how deeply it hurt me. I always forgive but I don't always forget.