Failed To Reach Out To Angry Man

[Prevenient Grace Receiver]

Saturday night my wife and I went to dinner and a comedy show with 3 of her friends from middle school 40 years ago. Everyone was feeling good and did not want to night to end. So, we decided to go to a local bar, where my brother-in-law (BIL) happens to frequent. He’s told me numerous times everyone there is laid back and just wants to have a good time listening to karaoke, etc.

 

When we got to the bar it was busy. The only table fit 4. I was the 5^th man out. So, I sat at the bar next to my BIL. Next to him was a ~70 yo gentlemen wearing a bright neon lime tee shirt. Behind him was a tall, 6’3” 70 yo with a distinctive long, white beard, who had a look on his face that he was looking to catch someone looking at him the wrong way. Let’s call him Billy Goat.

 

But I remembered the words of my BIL.

 

When the lime tee shirt guy got up to go to the restroom, Billy Goat sat down. When my BIL got up to go to the restroom, Billy Goat was tapping the back of BIL’s chair and sizing me up. Here was a lost opportunity.

 

I had the awareness to look his way and nod – but not look him in the eye. And when the neon guy returned, he told Billy Goat he was sitting in his chair. Billy Goat partially knocked off neon guy’s ball cap.

 

What I saw out of the corner of my eye was them both facing each other, and 3 men came between them out of nowhere. Billy Goat shoved neon guy, who went flying 6 feet back into the wall and crumbled to the floor.

 

Instinctively, I got off my chair and stood, ready for action. A woman and a short man tended to neon guy on the floor. Billy Goat was sizing up the 3 men around him as they ushered him out of the premises. Unsure where my priorities were, I heard BIL say, “sit down Prevenient Grace Receiver.”

 

Billy Goat is in a dark place in his life. I felt his malevolence immediately. When he was sitting, taping BIL’s chair, sizing me up, I believe I should have engaged him in a friendly way. That was the opportunity to spread the Good News. I feel I failed to make peace, failed to befriend a man deeply in pain, failed to boldly proclaim the light that I reflect. How should I proceed?

[OneLight]

8 minutes ago, Prevenient Grace Receiver said:

Saturday night my wife and I went to dinner and a comedy show with 3 of her friends from middle school 40 years ago. Everyone was feeling good and did not want to night to end. So, we decided to go to a local bar, where my brother-in-law (BIL) happens to frequent. He’s told me numerous times everyone there is laid back and just wants to have a good time listening to karaoke, etc.

 

When we got to the bar it was busy. The only table fit 4. I was the 5^th man out. So, I sat at the bar next to my BIL. Next to him was a ~70 yo gentlemen wearing a bright neon lime tee shirt. Behind him was a tall, 6’3” 70 yo with a distinctive long, white beard, who had a look on his face that he was looking to catch someone looking at him the wrong way. Let’s call him Billy Goat.

 

But I remembered the words of my BIL.

 

When the lime tee shirt guy got up to go to the restroom, Billy Goat sat down. When my BIL got up to go to the restroom, Billy Goat was tapping the back of BIL’s chair and sizing me up. Here was a lost opportunity.

 

I had the awareness to look his way and nod – but not look him in the eye. And when the neon guy returned, he told Billy Goat he was sitting in his chair. Billy Goat partially knocked off neon guy’s ball cap.

 

What I saw out of the corner of my eye was them both facing each other, and 3 men came between them out of nowhere. Billy Goat shoved neon guy, who went flying 6 feet back into the wall and crumbled to the floor.

 

Instinctively, I got off my chair and stood, ready for action. A woman and a short man tended to neon guy on the floor. Billy Goat was sizing up the 3 men around him as they ushered him out of the premises. Unsure where my priorities were, I heard BIL say, “sit down Prevenient Grace Receiver.”

 

Billy Goat is in a dark place in his life. I felt his malevolence immediately. When he was sitting, taping BIL’s chair, sizing me up, I believe I should have engaged him in a friendly way. That was the opportunity to spread the Good News. I feel I failed to make peace, failed to befriend a man deeply in pain, failed to boldly proclaim the light that I reflect. How should I proceed?

Not every opportunity is a call for us to take action.  Perhaps there is a lesson to learn?  If God intended you to become involved, you would of felt His leading.  Sometime we want to take the lead due of our natural instincts,  which usually ends up somewhere between not so good and really bad idea.  It is obvious by your description that the man was looking for a fight.  When a snake wants to bit, you don't poke it.

[Prevenient Grace Receiver]

4 minutes ago, OneLight said:

If God intended you to become involved, you would of felt His leading.

Great point!

I was surprised in the moment that I did not feeling his leading. I thought it was I who was dull to the movings of the Spirit. Glad you suggest I did as he willed.

[missmuffet]

43 minutes ago, Prevenient Grace Receiver said:

Saturday night my wife and I went to dinner and a comedy show with 3 of her friends from middle school 40 years ago. Everyone was feeling good and did not want to night to end. So, we decided to go to a local bar, where my brother-in-law (BIL) happens to frequent. He’s told me numerous times everyone there is laid back and just wants to have a good time listening to karaoke, etc.

 

When we got to the bar it was busy. The only table fit 4. I was the 5^th man out. So, I sat at the bar next to my BIL. Next to him was a ~70 yo gentlemen wearing a bright neon lime tee shirt. Behind him was a tall, 6’3” 70 yo with a distinctive long, white beard, who had a look on his face that he was looking to catch someone looking at him the wrong way. Let’s call him Billy Goat.

 

But I remembered the words of my BIL.

 

When the lime tee shirt guy got up to go to the restroom, Billy Goat sat down. When my BIL got up to go to the restroom, Billy Goat was tapping the back of BIL’s chair and sizing me up. Here was a lost opportunity.

 

I had the awareness to look his way and nod – but not look him in the eye. And when the neon guy returned, he told Billy Goat he was sitting in his chair. Billy Goat partially knocked off neon guy’s ball cap.

 

What I saw out of the corner of my eye was them both facing each other, and 3 men came between them out of nowhere. Billy Goat shoved neon guy, who went flying 6 feet back into the wall and crumbled to the floor.

 

Instinctively, I got off my chair and stood, ready for action. A woman and a short man tended to neon guy on the floor. Billy Goat was sizing up the 3 men around him as they ushered him out of the premises. Unsure where my priorities were, I heard BIL say, “sit down Prevenient Grace Receiver.”

 

Billy Goat is in a dark place in his life. I felt his malevolence immediately. When he was sitting, taping BIL’s chair, sizing me up, I believe I should have engaged him in a friendly way. That was the opportunity to spread the Good News. I feel I failed to make peace, failed to befriend a man deeply in pain, failed to boldly proclaim the light that I reflect. How should I proceed?

First of all a bar is a bad place. Try to stay out of bars. Pray for the man. That is how you should have proceeded. 

[Prevenient Grace Receiver]

I have already prayed for the man. Thanks. 

It's the 2nd time I've gone to a bar in years. Both times to the same bar. My BIL lost his wife of 23 years recently and suddenly. He has already said it has meant a lot to him that his sister and I have gone there to be with him. I need to pray more for him and your post has encouraged me to do that! Thanks again. 

[Who me]

1 hour ago, Prevenient Grace Receiver said:

I feel I failed to make peace, failed to befriend a man deeply in pain, failed to boldly proclaim the light that I reflect. How should I proceed?

Don't beat yourself up over this incident.

Violence flares up very quickly as you saw and it takes real skill to defuse it.

This guy was looking for an excuse to hit someone and it could have been you.

 

Talk to and support your BIL, he will know this guy and how volitile he is. Support your BIL, encourage him to come to church, meet up with some of your Christian friends.

[BK1110]

Are you feeling His leading now? Perhaps you are to return. Maybe if you tell Billy Goat that you specifically returned to see and speak with him, especially given (and in spite of) the display you witnessed last time, that could move him. This is not me saying that this is what you should do, just bringing up one possibility as food for thought.

God bless, brother!

[TreeFivew]

Why not ask the Most High about the situation?