Blind dating

[Robellia]

This is commonly called "catfishing". Some cases are mild, where the person is who they say they are, but have muddled a few details. Whereas others are more extreme, who take on new/multiple names, use other people's pictures, basically play a character vs themselves. Sometimes the intent is to act as a scammer; if anyone online asks you for money? Dont do it. Most of the time though, the root cause is insecurity. They dont like themselves, and so they spend time in a space where they can be someone else.

In the OP's picture, that's moreso deceptive marketing, though the use of that word seems a bit dehumanizing. Many people dont really want kids, while some are fine with them; it's the lack of forthrightness here. I'd argue that even if someone didnt mind kids, they'd be thrown off and possibly upset about unexpected details. Thus, we come to the three elements of catfishing: Greed, self-hatred, and deceit. A catfish can have only one of these, or more.

Psalm 139:13-16. Arrogance certainly exists and is to be avoided, but self-hate can ruin you. I struggled with this a long while, myself. If you think you're a monster, ugly, or unwanted? You feed into that as your reality. One who's like this must learn how to love themselves and be more at ease with that; no easy nor quick feat.

Greed and deceit are straightforward enough in terms of context, though deceit in this case is particular. In this case, it's not so much that someone has lied, but that details were withheld. Things not done that should have been. Trying to lure someone in, to overlook certain details by spending time with them before revealing it? It just doesnt end well.

[Starise]

I hope I don't upset the apple cart. 

 

[Marathoner]

[Starise]

I guess it was a bit HIPPOcritical of me to post something funny when I said the subject wasn't funny.

Oh wait...that probably wasn't funny.

 

Edited June 30, 2022 by Starise

[kwikphilly]

10 hours ago, creativemechanic said:

 

 No offense to you but   I personally HATE  to hear people try to  equate these 2 together. A relationship with God and a human relationship are 2 different  entities  each with its own benefits. As far as I know, the   Bible never makes them  out to be the same.People need to stop trying to say 1 can replace the other. Some  people can live alone and be completely fulfilled  with their relatiopnship with God and theres nothing wrong with that. But people need to stop acting like you shouldnt want to be married because you have Jesus.

God is invisible, inaudible and intangible, so there are plenty of things in a marriage that you wont get from your relationship with God-  physical company, emotional support, sex etc and the bible in various verses speaks on the merits of these things.

Saying things like that can be very insensitive to people who want to get married because it makes it seem like they shouldnt want something the Bible says is good.

Hi creative

Well your probably getting some " push back " just from starting out as you did,HATE is a pretty strong word.....and capitalized at that so its quite obvious that Lady & I struck a nerve just because..... Hmmm,what? Is it because you need/want more of a physical relationship than she and I both have no desire of?

Neither of us ever suggested what is good for us should be for anyone else ,its personal- we've both been through some pretty horrible experiences and we are at Peace alone with our Lord & Savior....

For me,I never wanted to leave my earthly Dad to get married in the furst placed( 1st time around)so now,nearly 45 years later I'm very much at home with my Heavenly Father,I dont need Him to be sitting on the couch next to me in a physical body to see hear or feel Him with me be cause I do see,hear & feel His Loving Embrace..... And that is for ME

So if you HATE what I'm saying then thats on you

There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely,I'm not lonely and dont need anyone to fill any void- no doubt others may be quite lonely without a mate.. Did that/ been there- its suffocating for me

God Bless you & I'm thrilled you have a wonderful match to spend your time on this earth with,I hope the same Blessing for anyone with the same hearts desire

Edited July 1, 2022 by kwikphilly

[creativemechanic]

6 minutes ago, kwikphilly said:

Hi creative

Well your probably getting some " push back " just from starting out as you did,HATE is a pretty strong word.....and capitalized at that so its quite obvious that Lady & I struck a nerve just because..... Hmmm,what? Is it because you need/want more of a physical relationship than she and I both have no desire of?

Neither of us ever suggested what is good for us should be for anyone else ,its personal- we've both been through some pretty horrible experiences and we are at Peace alone with our Lord & Savior....

For me,I never wanted to leave my earthly Dad to get married in the furst placed( 1st time around)so now,nearly 45 years later I'm very much at home with my Heavenly Father,I dont need Him to be sitting on the couch next to me in a physical body to see hear or feel Him with me be cause I do see,hear & feel His Loving Embrace..... And that is for ME

So if you HATE what I'm saying then thats on you

There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely,I'm not lonely and dont need anyone to fill any void- no doubt others may be quite lonely without a mate.. Did that/ been there- its suffocating for me

God Bless you & I'm thrilled you have a wonderful match to spend your time on this earth with,I hope the same Blessing for anyone with the same hearts desire

I think Ive been misinterpreted. Some people will never marry because God doesnt have that for them in their lives and some people will be content  and happy with their singleness. Nothing wrong with that. God knows whats best for them.

What my issue is when people  make it out that a relationship and God and an intimate relationship with another are exactly the same thing. Theyre not.  What i once saw was in another Christian forum a woman saying she was wishing for a husband and someone told her you have a relationship with Jesus, isnt that enough. It was like he was trying to guilt her for wanting something totally human and natural.

When God created man, he acknowledged the benefit of a spouse-"Its not good for man to be alone" and the bible in different places points out marriage as a positive thing.

A relationship with God and one with a human being are two totally different types of relationships so we shouldnt try to act like one has the exact same dynamic and benefits as the other, the bible never does (as far as I know). Since we cant hear, touch or see God, the relationship dynamic with Him and a spouse  that is visible, audible and tangible will be different. There are things we can do with one you cant do with the other.

[Marathoner]

2 hours ago, Starise said:

I guess it was a bit HIPPOcritical of me to post something funny when I said the subject wasn't funny.

Oh wait...that probably wasn't funny.

 

It took me an hour to get it. Outstanding! 

[kwikphilly]

2 minutes ago, creativemechanic said:

I think Ive been misinterpreted. Some people will never marry because God doesnt have that for them in their lives and some people will be content  and happy with their singleness. Nothing wrong with that. God knows whats best for them.

What my issue is when people  make it out that a relationship and God and an intimate relationship with another are exactly the same thing. Theyre not.  What i once saw was in another Christian forum a woman saying she was wishing for a husband and someone told her you have a relationship with Jesus, isnt that enough. It was like he was trying to guilt her for wanting something totally human and natural.

When God created man, he acknowledged the benefit of a spouse-"Its not good for man to be alone" and the bible in different places points out marriage as a positive thing.

A relationship with God and one with a human being are two totally different types of relationships so we shouldnt try to act like one has the exact same dynamic and benefits as the other, the bible never does (as far as I know). Since we cant hear, touch or see God, the relationship dynamic with Him and a spouse  that is visible, audible and tangible will be different. There are things we can do with one you cant do with the other.

Hi again.... And I think I can speak for Lady,Starise,Marathoner and probably every one else here, besides myself.... We completely agree with that and never even insinuated any such thing as that Christian Lady from another Forum( lol)

 

[Marathoner]

23 minutes ago, kwikphilly said:

Hi creative

Well your probably getting some " push back " just from starting out as you did,HATE is a pretty strong word.....and capitalized at that so its quite obvious that Lady & I struck a nerve just because..... Hmmm,what? Is it because you need/want more of a physical relationship than she and I both have no desire of?

Neither of us ever suggested what is good for us should be for anyone else ,its personal- we've both been through some pretty horrible experiences and we are at Peace alone with our Lord & Savior....

For me,I never wanted to leave my earthly Dad to get married in the furst placed( 1st time around)so now,nearly 45 years later I'm very much at home with my Heavenly Father,I dont need Him to be sitting on the couch next to me in a physical body to see hear or feel Him with me be cause I do see,hear & feel His Loving Embrace..... And that is for ME

So if you HATE what I'm saying then thats on you

There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely,I'm not lonely and dont need anyone to fill any void- no doubt others may be quite lonely without a mate.. Did that/ been there- its suffocating for me

God Bless you & I'm thrilled you have a wonderful match to spend your time on this earth with,I hope the same Blessing for anyone with the same hearts desire

Couldn't have expressed it better myself! Been there, done that:

Broke the mug;

Burned the t-shirt;

Locked the door;

Turned off the phone;

And burned the toast. 

Jesus Christ is my Lord and God and if He says that I'm going to marry someone, I'll do what He says with joy and thanksgiving. That's what it would take. 

[kwikphilly]

22 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

Couldn't have expressed it better myself! Been there, done that:

Broke the mug;

Burned the t-shirt;

Locked the door;

Turned off the phone;

And burned the toast. 

Jesus Christ is my Lord and God and if He says that I'm going to marry someone, I'll do what He says with joy and thanksgiving. That's what it would take. 

You know some thing Brother,I really believed its what God Wanted for me this last time around and then especially with the lung cancer and being disabled I thought" Oh Wow,God Sent Help"- I mean I could hardly walk( & breathings no picnic either)

When there was no help I was very confused.. . I prayed & prayed & prayed and then finally I heard" Pick up your mat!" That blew me away and sent me right back to what ,( or rather WHO) has gotten me through all my difficulties and I guess I can linp, hop or even crawl but " get er done"

       BUT

" I can do ALL things in Christ Who Strengthens me" so maybe I got it wrong,,He did send me a provider but not a physical helper.... I dont know,I truly dont - I dont really like  to be so distrusting but after being lied to so much........I think I'll stop talking.  Lol