Everyone had difference life experiences, looking for insight...

[SwordMaster]

I have an adult child who, about five-six years ago, started manifesting certain mental illnesses, and now physical genetic illnesses. He had three siblings that died in the womb, presumable from the same chemicals that are now wreaking havoc in his body. He suffers terribly from OCD thoughts and images in his mind that he cannot stop, and that (so far) medication has not helped with. I have been a Christian all my adult life, and have heard many things concerning what, how, and why God does or allows things...here is my utter frustration.

When my son's OCD acts up, and on days becomes very bad, he yells, screams, pounds his head on walls, hits himself, pulls his hair out, etc., trying to make the voices in his head stop; but nothing works. I have had encounters with demons and the Lord has used me to cast them out of people in the past, but I do not "get" that this is the problem here. He suffers so badly that he wants someone to kill him, and he has turned to hate God because He will not heal him. That is where my frustration comes into play.

I know that God can heal him on the spot, instantly; I have witnessed this in my own life several times. Yet I have sat in my living room crying out to God to heal him, for months now, and nothing...it's like God has died or something. I study Scripture; I know that in order for God to hear my voice, I must be abiding in Christ (I believe that I am), that I must walk in obedience to Him (I am, the only thing I do not do is go out witnessing to the lost, I really don't have the time or ability to do that); I am not asking for something to spend upon myself (James 4:3); and since Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (and illnesses / diseases are his works)(I John 3:8), then I cannot for the life of me think that God does not want to heal him - yet He has demonstrated that for some reason, He is not willing to.

At times I feel like I am going to lose my mind because of what goes on in my house, and I cannot understand why God would not want to heal my son. Is He trying to do something in me through my son's terrible suffering? I can't get that...but what? Why allow my son to suffer horribly, and get to the place where he just wants to kill himself, in order to work in my life? Right now I am very angry with Him...VERY angry, so angry that it scares me.

Does anyone have some kind of experience or wisdom to help me cope with this? I need something, because if my son kills himself because God refuses for some reason to intervene, then I am afraid that I will hate - HATE - Him for it, and I don't want to go there.

Thank you.

[Michael37]

4 minutes ago, SwordMaster said:

I have an adult child who, about five-six years ago, started manifesting certain mental illnesses, and now physical genetic illnesses. He had three siblings that died in the womb, presumable from the same chemicals that are now wreaking havoc in his body. He suffers terribly from OCD thoughts and images in his mind that he cannot stop, and that (so far) medication has not helped with. I have been a Christian all my adult life, and have heard many things concerning what, how, and why God does or allows things...here is my utter frustration.

When my son's OCD acts up, and on days becomes very bad, he yells, screams, pounds his head on walls, hits himself, pulls his hair out, etc., trying to make the voices in his head stop; but nothing works. I have had encounters with demons and the Lord has used me to cast them out of people in the past, but I do not "get" that this is the problem here. He suffers so badly that he wants someone to kill him, and he has turned to hate God because He will not heal him. That is where my frustration comes into play.

I know that God can heal him on the spot, instantly; I have witnessed this in my own life several times. Yet I have sat in my living room crying out to God to heal him, for months now, and nothing...it's like God has died or something. I study Scripture; I know that in order for God to hear my voice, I must be abiding in Christ (I believe that I am), that I must walk in obedience to Him (I am, the only thing I do not do is go out witnessing to the lost, I really don't have the time or ability to do that); I am not asking for something to spend upon myself (James 4:3); and since Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (and illnesses / diseases are his works)(I John 3:8), then I cannot for the life of me think that God does not want to heal him - yet He has demonstrated that for some reason, He is not willing to.

At times I feel like I am going to lose my mind because of what goes on in my house, and I cannot understand why God would not want to heal my son. Is He trying to do something in me through my son's terrible suffering? I can't get that...but what? Why allow my son to suffer horribly, and get to the place where he just wants to kill himself, in order to work in my life? Right now I am very angry with Him...VERY angry, so angry that it scares me.

Does anyone have some kind of experience or wisdom to help me cope with this? I need something, because if my son kills himself because God refuses for some reason to intervene, then I am afraid that I will hate - HATE - Him for it, and I don't want to go there.

Thank you.

What support and assistance do you get from agencies, charities, and Christian Care Teams?

[SwordMaster]

None that has worked, but that is besides the point. 

I want and ask God to intervene, and thus far - for some reason - He has chosen not to. My son suffers greatly, and it is horrible to hear him when it gets to be too much. I am trying to understand God's position here...the reason why He chooses NOT to stop his suffering.

Thank you for replying.

[Michael37]

1 minute ago, SwordMaster said:

None that has worked, but that is besides the point. 

I want and ask God to intervene, and thus far - for some reason - He has chosen not to. My son suffers greatly, and it is horrible to hear him when it gets to be too much. I am trying to understand God's position here...the reason why He chooses NOT to stop his suffering.

Thank you for replying.

Have you read the Book of Job lately? 

[Marilyn C]

3 hours ago, SwordMaster said:

I have an adult child who, about five-six years ago, started manifesting certain mental illnesses, and now physical genetic illnesses. He had three siblings that died in the womb, presumable from the same chemicals that are now wreaking havoc in his body. He suffers terribly from OCD thoughts and images in his mind that he cannot stop, and that (so far) medication has not helped with. I have been a Christian all my adult life, and have heard many things concerning what, how, and why God does or allows things...here is my utter frustration.

When my son's OCD acts up, and on days becomes very bad, he yells, screams, pounds his head on walls, hits himself, pulls his hair out, etc., trying to make the voices in his head stop; but nothing works. I have had encounters with demons and the Lord has used me to cast them out of people in the past, but I do not "get" that this is the problem here. He suffers so badly that he wants someone to kill him, and he has turned to hate God because He will not heal him. That is where my frustration comes into play.

I know that God can heal him on the spot, instantly; I have witnessed this in my own life several times. Yet I have sat in my living room crying out to God to heal him, for months now, and nothing...it's like God has died or something. I study Scripture; I know that in order for God to hear my voice, I must be abiding in Christ (I believe that I am), that I must walk in obedience to Him (I am, the only thing I do not do is go out witnessing to the lost, I really don't have the time or ability to do that); I am not asking for something to spend upon myself (James 4:3); and since Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (and illnesses / diseases are his works)(I John 3:8), then I cannot for the life of me think that God does not want to heal him - yet He has demonstrated that for some reason, He is not willing to.

At times I feel like I am going to lose my mind because of what goes on in my house, and I cannot understand why God would not want to heal my son. Is He trying to do something in me through my son's terrible suffering? I can't get that...but what? Why allow my son to suffer horribly, and get to the place where he just wants to kill himself, in order to work in my life? Right now I am very angry with Him...VERY angry, so angry that it scares me.

Does anyone have some kind of experience or wisdom to help me cope with this? I need something, because if my son kills himself because God refuses for some reason to intervene, then I am afraid that I will hate - HATE - Him for it, and I don't want to go there.

Thank you.

Hi SwordMaster,

What Sower has written is very good and I know will help you.

My thought is that you and your son need to find out the areas that he has willingly, by an act of his will allowed demonic influences into his life. It is only by an act of his will - repenting, that those demons will not have access to him. God does NOT go against our will. 

 

[Marathoner]

3 hours ago, SwordMaster said:

I have an adult child who, about five-six years ago, started manifesting certain mental illnesses, and now physical genetic illnesses. He had three siblings that died in the womb, presumable from the same chemicals that are now wreaking havoc in his body. He suffers terribly from OCD thoughts and images in his mind that he cannot stop, and that (so far) medication has not helped with. I have been a Christian all my adult life, and have heard many things concerning what, how, and why God does or allows things...here is my utter frustration.

When my son's OCD acts up, and on days becomes very bad, he yells, screams, pounds his head on walls, hits himself, pulls his hair out, etc., trying to make the voices in his head stop; but nothing works. I have had encounters with demons and the Lord has used me to cast them out of people in the past, but I do not "get" that this is the problem here. He suffers so badly that he wants someone to kill him, and he has turned to hate God because He will not heal him. That is where my frustration comes into play.

I know that God can heal him on the spot, instantly; I have witnessed this in my own life several times. Yet I have sat in my living room crying out to God to heal him, for months now, and nothing...it's like God has died or something. I study Scripture; I know that in order for God to hear my voice, I must be abiding in Christ (I believe that I am), that I must walk in obedience to Him (I am, the only thing I do not do is go out witnessing to the lost, I really don't have the time or ability to do that); I am not asking for something to spend upon myself (James 4:3); and since Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (and illnesses / diseases are his works)(I John 3:8), then I cannot for the life of me think that God does not want to heal him - yet He has demonstrated that for some reason, He is not willing to.

At times I feel like I am going to lose my mind because of what goes on in my house, and I cannot understand why God would not want to heal my son. Is He trying to do something in me through my son's terrible suffering? I can't get that...but what? Why allow my son to suffer horribly, and get to the place where he just wants to kill himself, in order to work in my life? Right now I am very angry with Him...VERY angry, so angry that it scares me.

Does anyone have some kind of experience or wisdom to help me cope with this? I need something, because if my son kills himself because God refuses for some reason to intervene, then I am afraid that I will hate - HATE - Him for it, and I don't want to go there.

Thank you.

First, I will pray for you both: for your son, that he might experience relief, and also for you, that you may endure with your son in his suffering.

I will offer the perspective of one who has suffered and continues to suffer in the hope that the will and purpose of the Lord will be made known.

I was born with more than one genetic malady. First, I inherited a rare type of muscular dystrophy that doesn't manifest until middle age from my mother. Second, a genetic mutation that makes me vulnerable to certain lineages of bacteria and fungi called chronic granulomatous disease. And third, an orthopedic developmental defect that affected my thoracic spine during adolescence. Vertebrae in my back were malformed, causing excruciating pain from smashed discs and muscle spasms. 

My upbringing was an ordeal of terror and pain. By my 11th birthday I developed psychotic depression, the most severe type of depression that resists treatment of any kind. The cycle would begin with uncontrollable weeping, realizing that this world was nothing but one lie upon another lie. Insomnia robbed me of sleep and I lost interest in food.

I then went through interludes of unspeakable visions wherein I witnessed my death by various means over and over again. This led to suicidal ideations where I was so desperate for this hell on earth to end that I considered ways to make it end. The cycle of depression culminated in a suicide attempt. My first attempt happened not long after my 11th birthday.

I attempted suicide once every year from the age of 11, with the exception of the 4 years I spent in the U.S. Army. This was done in secret, for I hid these things from others. I didn't reveal my intentions or plans to anyone for I didn't want others to interfere with nor witness the deed...

Except for the Lord, of course. There is One who knows the hell I languished in for so long, and how I couldn't bear to live another day on this earth. He preserved me. 

I understand very well. I'll return at another time and engage with you again. 

[RdJ]

6 hours ago, SwordMaster said:

I have an adult child who, about five-six years ago, started manifesting certain mental illnesses, and now physical genetic illnesses. He had three siblings that died in the womb, presumable from the same chemicals that are now wreaking havoc in his body. He suffers terribly from OCD thoughts and images in his mind that he cannot stop, and that (so far) medication has not helped with. I have been a Christian all my adult life, and have heard many things concerning what, how, and why God does or allows things...here is my utter frustration.

When my son's OCD acts up, and on days becomes very bad, he yells, screams, pounds his head on walls, hits himself, pulls his hair out, etc., trying to make the voices in his head stop; but nothing works. I have had encounters with demons and the Lord has used me to cast them out of people in the past, but I do not "get" that this is the problem here. He suffers so badly that he wants someone to kill him, and he has turned to hate God because He will not heal him. That is where my frustration comes into play.

I know that God can heal him on the spot, instantly; I have witnessed this in my own life several times. Yet I have sat in my living room crying out to God to heal him, for months now, and nothing...it's like God has died or something. I study Scripture; I know that in order for God to hear my voice, I must be abiding in Christ (I believe that I am), that I must walk in obedience to Him (I am, the only thing I do not do is go out witnessing to the lost, I really don't have the time or ability to do that); I am not asking for something to spend upon myself (James 4:3); and since Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (and illnesses / diseases are his works)(I John 3:8), then I cannot for the life of me think that God does not want to heal him - yet He has demonstrated that for some reason, He is not willing to.

At times I feel like I am going to lose my mind because of what goes on in my house, and I cannot understand why God would not want to heal my son. Is He trying to do something in me through my son's terrible suffering? I can't get that...but what? Why allow my son to suffer horribly, and get to the place where he just wants to kill himself, in order to work in my life? Right now I am very angry with Him...VERY angry, so angry that it scares me.

Does anyone have some kind of experience or wisdom to help me cope with this? I need something, because if my son kills himself because God refuses for some reason to intervene, then I am afraid that I will hate - HATE - Him for it, and I don't want to go there.

Thank you.

Who says that God doesn't want to heal him? The only one He wanted to be sick and who He made sick was Jesus at the cross to bear our sicknesses. Well and someone like Herod.

A man asked Him if He wanted to heal him and He said: I want it. Be made whole. So that's it. He says that to everyone.

 

When He had come down from the mountain, great multitudes followed Him. And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.” Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
Matthew 8:1‭-‬3 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.8.1-3.NKJV

Only when it's someone's time to go to heaven and God says so you have to just let them go and not go against God's will and heal them. We had people in church. They were gypsies. They had big faith. Their grandmother died and they were like: what if it isn't God's will for her to die now, so they raised her from the dead. They even went against God's will. That's how much authority we have been given. The grandma said: Please let me go. I was just walking with Jesus, so then they understood that they had to let her go and they did.

Voices that's demonic. I had that. I got set free not even by prayer. I went to the pastor and he rebuked some demons but it didnt help. I got baptized. Didn't help either. I got a personal word from a guy who gave prophecies and personal words from God for people. My mom went to him and asked him a word for me and he sent it by letter. He did not know what was the matter. One thing He said was: I declare you free in My Love.

And I believed that and I was instantly healed, set free. It was gone, the continuous demonic force thoughts.

 

And when they had come to the multitude, a man came to Him, kneeling down to Him and saying, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and suffers severely; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water. So I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him.” Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me.” And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”
Matthew 17:14‭-‬21 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.17.14-21.NKJV

 

Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’ ” Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?”
Luke 18:1‭-‬8 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.18.1-8.NKJV

Build your faith by reading Bible texts about healing out loud or listen to it on youtube. Faith comes by hearing the Word of Christ. Just press on and keep praying until he's free. Find a good ministry to help. In my mom's church were people who went from Holland to a church in Africa for help, because here nobody believes anything and if the church cant help you they say buy go to a psychiater, but there they set people free and psychiatric patients who could not be helped here went there with them and got set free.

Maybe it's a curse. You say 3 miscarriages. I had 2. It was a curse because my granddad had been into rosecrucianism and they use that curse.

 

This false teaching that God wants someone to be sick comes from Calvin. Its in the Heidelberg catechismus. I saw that when I was on a Dutch reformed forum. It literally says that they receive sickness from God's hand. What a filthy lie.

how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.
Acts 10:38 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/act.10.38.NKJV

Edited March 16 by RdJ

[Who me]

On 3/16/2024 at 3:31 AM, SwordMaster said:

Does anyone have some kind of experience or wisdom to help me cope with this? I need something, because if my son kills himself because God refuses for some reason to intervene, then I am afraid that I will hate - HATE - Him for it, and I don't want to go there.

I am reluctant  to post as while I know something of the pain of seeing one's child suffer, I have no experience like yours.

What can I suggest.

I often recommend  the Web site 25 tips for dealing with OCD link:-

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/25-tips-for-ocd-treatment/

All I can surg3st is to combine the techniques with talking to your doctor about getting stronger sedatives to help your son gain some sort of control over his intrusive thoughts.

As to your final comment,  would you hate God because of your sons death?

That depends on how you view God and his justice and mercy.

God did not have to save us, equally  he does not have to heal us of any illness etc.

It is hard to watch one's child suffer, we don't  have the right to expect healing in this life.

It is almost as hard to put ones trust in God, but that is the only hope any of us have.

[other one]

On 3/15/2024 at 10:31 PM, SwordMaster said:

Does anyone have some kind of experience or wisdom to help me cope with this? I need something, because if my son kills himself because God refuses for some reason to intervene, then I am afraid that I will hate - HATE - Him for it, and I don't want to go there.

Have there been any paranormal things happening during or after these sessions he has with the voices.  Especially time lost.  Are there times when hours or days are just missing?

Make sure there isn't some kind of brain chemistry malfunction going on.  There are chemical/hormone problems that can manifest that kind of behavior, and should that be the case it would be very very damaging to him if it's treated like some kind of possession.

If there was a time when he was very young when he was extremely traumatized for a period of time.  That can cause some very interesting things to happen. I personally know several people who have experienced this, and they disassociated their personalities into multiple personalities, and it is like two different people living in the same body. Sometimes they don't know each other and only one is up at a time, but later in life things start to cross where one will contact the other and cause all kinds of problems.  If that is the case, it takes a special kind of counselor to help.

Has he turned his all over to the Lord?   Have you?  If he is being possessed, some of them take serious prayer and fasting to deal with, and it's not something that should be dealt with remotely.  I would suggest a couple of people to see, but they both died in the COVID-19 pandemic.  I'm still looking for someone that isn't just a scammer.

But, it is critical to make sure that it's not some natural thing before going on a demon hunt.

 

BTW, my wife has MS and for a year I asked the Lord to heal her and he didn't.  I finally got so upset that I went into our backyard and yelled at him.  Shook my fist in his face and after about a half hour demanded he at least tell me why?  Why won't you heal her?   And to my shock a quite still voice that I believe I actually heard said, "That's between her and me, and it's none of your business."

 

[ayin jade]

A women in my church had the same problem with her son. Whenever he started acting up, she would immediately ask the prayer chain to pray. Although he was not healed to my knowledge, she indicated the prayers helped settle him down.

As for the rest, sometimes we cannot know why He chooses to heal or not heal people. Or why He allows things to happen. We live in a fallen world. All we can do is trust and continue to have faith in Him no matter what.