Spiritual Growth And Life Through Biblical Fellowship And Ministry

[Prycejosh1987]

Fellowship does not promote spiritual growth, isolation does. 

[Michael37]

1 hour ago, Prycejosh1987 said:

Fellowship does not promote spiritual growth, isolation does. 

An ascetic might have such an opinion, @Prycejosh1987,  but fellowship does come highly recommended throughout the Bible.

When I set up the title of this thread on behalf of @KylewithaL it was obvious his need was for fellowship and ministry in community rather than seclusion and isolation from it.

Heb 10:24-25  And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,  (25)  not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

[AnOrangeCat]

On 5/15/2024 at 7:14 PM, KylewithaL said:

I should clarify…she smokes weed all day every day while laying in the bed and watching hours and hours of Dr Who. It’s driving me crazy

A belated welcome to Worthy for you. Hopefully you can find some good advice and fellowship here. If you substitute alcohol for weed and soap operas for Dr. Who that was pretty much my mother in her final days. You have my sympathies.

Anyway from my experience finding a good church is very very much an individual matter. We all have different needs at different times in our lives and different things will resonate more (or less). From what I've read here and in your introductory post on the forum it'd probably be good to look for a church that adheres to the basics. The forum's Statement of Faith might be a good list of things to start with. It'll take some going to church in person to test the waters. If there's no one here in your area maybe check some other online forums.

Regarding the relationship that's a tough one. This is just my opinion but I don't personally believe a marriage requires a ceremony to be valid, just a commitment made (ideally before God) between the man and woman. Despite it being the worst if it's lasted nine years there must be some reasons why it's continued so long. If you check out I Corinthians 7:12-14 Paul talks about people who are believers and married to an unbeliever. His guidance is that they should stay married, but there's a catch: "If the unbelieving partner is willing."

Pray, seek guidance, and ultimately go with your convictions on whether or not it counts as a marriage. Something that I think is worth taking into consideration is how does living with her affect your walk with God. Is sticking with her going to entice you to sin? If the answer is yes then consider putting some distance between the two of you.

[Mama Etna]

I don't think the internet is the best place to look for a face to face guide in this process.  You do not know who you are getting.  Secondly, the person needs to be someone who lives near you.  Minneapolis/Saint Paul is a big place as is any large city.

[Marathoner]

On 5/17/2024 at 11:29 AM, KylewithaL said:

I will provide more information this evening when I have more time about the other things that I have going on in my life…the good and the bad. I wanted to make clear though, because I feel like I might be coming off as blaming my issues on her. I do not. I take FULL responsibility for the problems of our relationship and the problems in my life. I am probably more to blame than her when it comes to our inability to communicate. But I feel like I’m also the only one trying to improve. Thanks everyone for your input and thoughts, I truly am grateful. God bless. 

You are only responsible for your own actions, my friend. You are not responsible for what others do; however, you are responsible toward them. What does this mean?

How you treat others is what matters to the Lord. You are not married nor are you the husband of this woman. If you are going to conduct yourself as if you are her husband, then marry her. If not, then separate yourself from her immediately. Your part in this is under your control. Focus on that.

Considering the circumstances --- you have permitted her to depend upon you for support --- it would only be fair to give this woman time to get her own affairs in order before you go your separate ways. Expect ploys that lead you into temptation to continue on the path of least resistance (which is changing nothing). Stand firm, give her enough time, but don't give her more than the original amount you gave to her. Do not fall into manipulation.

That's my counsel to you. 

Edited May 19, 2024 by Marathoner

[KylewithaL]

On 5/18/2024 at 8:03 PM, AnOrangeCat said:

A belated welcome to Worthy for you. Hopefully you can find some good advice and fellowship here. If you substitute alcohol for weed and soap operas for Dr. Who that was pretty much my mother in her final days. You have my sympathies.

Anyway from my experience finding a good church is very very much an individual matter. We all have different needs at different times in our lives and different things will resonate more (or less). From what I've read here and in your introductory post on the forum it'd probably be good to look for a church that adheres to the basics. The forum's Statement of Faith might be a good list of things to start with. It'll take some going to church in person to test the waters. If there's no one here in your area maybe check some other online forums.

Regarding the relationship that's a tough one. This is just my opinion but I don't personally believe a marriage requires a ceremony to be valid, just a commitment made (ideally before God) between the man and woman. Despite it being the worst if it's lasted nine years there must be some reasons why it's continued so long. If you check out I Corinthians 7:12-14 Paul talks about people who are believers and married to an unbeliever. His guidance is that they should stay married, but there's a catch: "If the unbelieving partner is willing."

Pray, seek guidance, and ultimately go with your convictions on whether or not it counts as a marriage. Something that I think is worth taking into consideration is how does living with her affect your walk with God. Is sticking with her going to entice you to sin? If the answer is yes then consider putting some distance between the two of you.

Thanks! I honestly feel like being with her is a big hindrance to my relationship with Christ and she’s always made it clear she doesn’t want to go to church with me and she doesn’t believe in the Bible. She claims she believes in Jesus, but “her Jesus.” I don’t know how to process that. To be clear, I do not blame her for being a stumbling block for me and my pursuit of faith…it’s my own weaknesses. She goes out of town to visit her family quite often and I feel so much stronger in my spirituality when she isn’t around. I do love her and I worry about her so much but there’s nothing I can do about it. We got into a big fight a couple months ago and I went to a hotel…told her I wasn’t coming back until she was gone. She packed a couple bags and went and stayed with her best friend in Missouri. I thought we had finally did it and it was tough, but it felt GREAT! The third morning I got a phone call from my best friend. His wife (also a very close friend of mine), passed away in her sleep. He was beyond devastated so I left Minnesota the next day, picked up the gf in Missouri, and drove another 18 hours straight to get to him and their little boy. We decided our problems were trivial in comparison to what he was going through, set our differences aside and helped them get through the next couple of weeks. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever been through and had the effect of setting our relationship back to square one. But nothing changed and it only keeps getting worse. We just don’t even communicate unless it’s necessary. I agree with most others on here, I need to find a church. Somehow. This really is a very tough and complicated issue that I don’t know how to handle. Bottom line, I do feel the Lord is telling me this relationship needs to end. But I’m also really good at not being sure that’s what he’s telling me…the good news though is she got close to 30g’s a couple months back so for the first time she does have the financial means to move out. I think we both know this will be over soon! Pray for us please. (: 

[KylewithaL]

17 hours ago, Mama Etna said:

I don't think the internet is the best place to look for a face to face guide in this process.  You do not know who you are getting.  Secondly, the person needs to be someone who lives near you.  Minneapolis/Saint Paul is a big place as is any large city.

I totally agree. Although it is nice being able to share my situation with others…I try telling this to the chinchilla, but she just looks at me funny. 

[KylewithaL]

On 5/18/2024 at 5:52 PM, Prycejosh1987 said:

Fellowship does not promote spiritual growth, isolation does. 

I think that is a blanket statement that might not apply to everyone at anytime. But yes, isolation has got me to this point spiritually. Now, I’ve had plenty of isolation. 

[Marilyn C]

 

You`re doing well, one step at a time. Clean the house, so to speak and more will unfold to you.

[Ray12614]

6 hours ago, KylewithaL said:

I think that is a blanket statement that might not apply to everyone at anytime. But yes, isolation has got me to this point spiritually. Now, I’ve had plenty of isolation. 

IF you are talking about 'isolation' for the purpose of seeking God, drawing closer to Him, fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit, then yes, I agree with you.

IF you are talking about being isolated from the local church, members in particular, the NT giftings that Jesus has set into the local church, or any face to face fellowship in assembly with your brothers and sisters . . . then I reject this advice as it is contrary to biblical principals and commands to not forsake the assembling together as is the manner of 'some'.

Hebrews 10:25 says, “… not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching” 

Somewhere in the area you live should be an biblically authentic New Testament family church . . . it will just take some effort for you to find it . . .