Feel im too weak for christianity..

[Figure of eighty]

I'm really anxious about everything to the point I could throw up. I took anxiety meds and it's not working. I really wish God would stop waking me up everyday. I don't care if I go to hell at this point.

[Debp]

22 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I'm really anxious about everything to the point I could throw up. I took anxiety meds and it's not working. I really wish God would stop waking me up everyday. I don't care if I go to hell at this point.

I could be wrong but are you actually angry at yourself?

If you are and you are a child of God through believing what Christ did for you...then you need to learn to love and accept yourself as a beloved child of God.

Also, learn some of God's promises in the Word of God.   You need to know (read) them in order to let them help you in times of trouble.

[Figure of eighty]

10 hours ago, Debp said:

I could be wrong but are you actually angry at yourself?

If you are and you are a child of God through believing what Christ did for you...then you need to learn to love and accept yourself as a beloved child of God.

Also, learn some of God's promises in the Word of God.   You need to know (read) them in order to let them help you in times of trouble.

It's a combination but mostly God. Because God is all powerful nothing happens without him allowing it.  That's the way I see it so my anger is usually directed at him bc of that. ( I remember how God allowed JOB to be tested and it was allowed. It'd be different if God truly was just doing the best he could and some bad things just happened to happen. I could deal with that but he's completely all powerful so nothing happens without allowance)

Aside from my crummy family leaving me and not giving me their portion of rent. I'm still somewhat dealing with a heart break. I see people say how God prepared them for their husband this and that but I met a phenomenal man at the wrong time. I caused alot of damage ( beyond repair) which I acknowledge but I also have flares of anger bc I wonder why God would allow me to meet this person when I wasn't ready while he prepares others so they can be a good wife and happy in their union. 

 

I feel ill never get another chance at a truly good man. 

 

Aside from that again bc my family didn't give me their portion of rent I may not be able to get into my nursing program bc of them and I feel that's not fair to me.  

I feel like I'm destined to struggle and live in poverty for thr rest of my life bc I'm trying but it's like a vicious cyclical cycle.  I'll do well for a period then out of nowhere car breaks down, kids get kicked out of school, I lose my job.  Has happened 3 times already. On the 3rd.

Afraid of losing my place now.

Edited June 22, 2024 by Figure of eighty

[Figure of eighty]

I'm not cut out for this at all. I want to go back to my old life atleast I wasn't angry at God all the time. Im just not. I just took an anxiety pill. 

I can't and don't want to do this. 

I don't want to hold this title anymore. I hate it.. bc I can't do it. I just can't.  

I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm fine going to hell. I don't care anymore. 

I'll try not to traffic in this space anymore that's for Christians. I clearly am not one more can I seem to be one. 

I absolutely give up. I'm not doing this. I'm done.

[RdJ]

2 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

It's a combination but mostly God. Because God is all powerful nothing happens without him allowing it.  That's the way I see it so my anger is usually directed at him bc of that. ( I remember how God allowed JOB to be tested and it was allowed. It'd be different if God truly was just doing the best he could and some bad things just happened to happen. I could deal with that but he's completely all powerful so nothing happens without allowance)

Aside from my crummy family leaving me and not giving me their portion of rent. I'm still somewhat dealing with a heart break. I see people say how God prepared them for their husband this and that but I met a phenomenal man at the wrong time. I caused alot of damage ( beyond repair) which I acknowledge but I also have flares of anger bc I wonder why God would allow me to meet this person when I wasn't ready while he prepares others so they can be a good wife and happy in their union. 

 

I feel ill never get another chance at a truly good man. 

 

Aside from that again bc my family didn't give me their portion of rent I may not be able to get into my nursing program bc of them and I feel that's not fair to me.  

I feel like I'm destined to struggle and live in poverty for thr rest of my life bc I'm trying but it's like a vicious cyclical cycle.  I'll do well for a period then out of nowhere car breaks down, kids get kicked out of school, I lose my job.  Has happened 3 times already. On the 3rd.

Afraid of losing my place now.

Job was before Jesus came. Now we got the authority from Him and can rebuke satan. He steals your stuff or breaks your car? Rebuke the curse over your finances and kick him out. I do not believe that God sits there annoying, totally capable of doing stuff yet not willing.  God can't do anything on earth except when His people pray.

There's a text: My people perish because of lack of knowledge.

He can reign if you give your circumstances to Him. Maybe do a gofundme or look for a roommate from church who does pay their share and not some mooch.

 

Edited June 22, 2024 by RdJ

[warrior12]

15 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I'm not cut out for this at all. I want to go back to my old life atleast I wasn't angry at God all the time. Im just not. I just took an anxiety pill. 

I can't and don't want to do this. 

I don't want to hold this title anymore. I hate it.. bc I can't do it. I just can't.  

I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm fine going to hell. I don't care anymore. 

I'll try not to traffic in this space anymore that's for Christians. I clearly am not one more can I seem to be one. 

I absolutely give up. I'm not doing this. I'm done.

I posted this earlier , but not sure if it was on this thread, but I though so. Anyway, I could not find it , so here it is again. Read this a couple of times and let it sink in.    Your last post is giving the devil more strongholds upon your life.  Life is not easy for a lot of people, and you have to deal with your situation, as best as you can.  Later on in life, you would be able to help other when you see and hear their ordeals.     

Ecclesiasticus, 2

1.My child, if you aspire to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for an ordeal.

2.Be sincere of heart, be steadfast, and do not be alarmed when disaster comes.

3.Cling to him and do not leave him, so that you may be honoured at the end of your days.

4.Whatever happens to you, accept it, and in the uncertainties of your humble state, be patient,

5.since gold is tested in the fire, and the chosen in the furnace of humiliation.

 

6.Trust him and he will uphold you, follow a straight path and hope in him.

7.You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy; do not turn aside, for fear you fall.

8.You who fear the Lord, trust him, and you will not be robbed of your reward.

9.You who fear the Lord, hope for those good gifts of his, everlasting joy and mercy.

10.Look at the generations of old and see: whoever trusted in the Lord and was put to shame? Or whoever, steadfastly fearing him, was forsaken? Or whoever called to him and was ignored?

11.For the Lord is compassionate and merciful, he forgives sins and saves in the time of distress.

12.Woe to faint hearts and listless hands, and to the sinner who treads two paths.

13.Woe to the listless heart that has no faith, for such will have no protection.

14.Woe to you who have lost the strength to endure; what will you do at the Lord's visitation?

15.Those who fear the Lord do not disdain his words, and those who love him keep his ways.

16.Those who fear the Lord do their best to please him, and those who love him will find satisfaction in the Law.

17.Those who fear the Lord keep their hearts prepared and humble themselves in his presence.

18.Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, not into any human clutches; for as his majesty is, so too is his mercy.

[RdJ]

2 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

.I'm still somewhat dealing with a heart break. I see people say how God prepared them for their husband this and that but I met a phenomenal man at the wrong time. I caused alot of damage ( beyond repair) which I acknowledge but I also have flares of anger bc I wonder why God would allow me to meet this person when I wasn't ready while he prepares others so they can be a good wife and happy in their union. 

 

I feel ill never get another chance at a truly good man. 

Who cares. Maybe you get one later. 

I prayed for Mr. Right, got prophecies even that he was the one. And as a thank you for waiting for the right one at God's time I'm now divorced. Yes that made me mad too. And meanwhile the ones who just did what they wanted and didnt even know God got a terrific marriage. That's why I ran off with an atheist. I was mad. Not so smart. I just went grocery shopping with my ex. Since we're divorced we never fight anymore. Jesus can come back next week or in a year and we'll marry Him. My ex and I will be a cute bride for Jesus lol. What else do you want? Relationships are overrated.

[warrior12]

11 minutes ago, RdJ said:

Who cares. Maybe you get one later. 

I prayed for Mr. Right, got prophecies even that he was the one. And as a thank you for waiting for the right one at God's time I'm now divorced. Yes that made me mad too. And meanwhile the ones who just did what they wanted and didnt even know God got a terrific marriage. That's why I ran off with an atheist. I was mad. Not so smart. I just went grocery shopping with my ex. Since we're divorced we never fight anymore. Jesus can come back next week or in a year and we'll marry Him. My ex and I will be a cute bride for Jesus lol. What else do you want? Relationships are overrated.

How about a scripture verse that makes the whole point about a man's life.

Mark 8:36-37

New King James Version

 

³⁶ For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? ³⁷ Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

[Figure of eighty]

24 minutes ago, RdJ said:

Job was before Jesus came. Now we got the authority from Him and can rebuke satan. He steals your stuff or breaks your car? Rebuke the curse over your finances and kick him out. I do not believe that God sits there annoying, totally capable of doing stuff yet not willing.  God can't do anything on earth except when His people pray.

There's a text: My people perish because of lack of knowledge.

He can reign if you give your circumstances to Him. Maybe do a gofundme or look for a roommate from church who does pay their share and not some mooch.

 

I don't think that's true. Either God is all powerful or he isn't. If he wasn't then Id be more at peace and feel like he'd want the best for me than someone that can do but won't for whatever reasons. Maybe I need to believe in that.

[Figure of eighty]

15 minutes ago, RdJ said:

Who cares. Maybe you get one later. 

I prayed for Mr. Right, got prophecies even that he was the one. And as a thank you for waiting for the right one at God's time I'm now divorced. Yes that made me mad too. And meanwhile the ones who just did what they wanted and didnt even know God got a terrific marriage. That's why I ran off with an atheist. I was mad. Not so smart. I just went grocery shopping with my ex. Since we're divorced we never fight anymore. Jesus can come back next week or in a year and we'll marry Him. My ex and I will be a cute bride for Jesus lol. What else do you want? Relationships are overrated.

I care. I loved that man. Healthy relationships exists. All I want is financial stability. Not so much for myself but my kids and so I can cut off my toxic family for good. That's the main reason. 

I just feel I try and try and try and my plans get interrupted.