Dealing with Non-Religious Parents

[kwikphilly]

2 minutes ago, Fran C said:

Kwikphilly

Wow!  What a great post!  Thanks so much....hope the OP reads it.

Me too @Fran C   more than you know,leading by example is the best way to encourage others to follow

You said alot in your reply to the OP ,much wisdom in your words

Praise Jesus!

With love in Christ,Kwik

[Neighbor]

Hi, Perhaps a read and a study of Matthew 10 will provide encouragement to be steadfast, patient and loving of those that do not yet accept your having been turned about by the Holy Spirit.

A little excerpt from the body of the gospel of Matthew includes this declaration: “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’  He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.  He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."

Love for parents need not be given up in order to grasp onto the love of and from Jesus; however much patience over a very long period of time may indeed be required of you.  May God bless you as you  bless God. May your steadfastness be glorifying of Jesus.  Be consistent in prayer for your parents that the Holy Spirit will turn them about too.

 

[farouk]

On 1/12/2025 at 5:13 PM, LaurenMay said:

This is actually a genuinely inspiring response and suggestion. Bless you for this. 

HI @LaurenMay Marilyn C has been posting helpful and sensible posts for a number of years....

[Johanabrahams]

To bring it here was the correct thing to do.  Because some of us are Spiritually Older in being longer on the road of Spiritual Growth.  And more important is to find the Comfort and Love and Strength in your New Family in Jesus.  Where your hope now is to enter your parents too.  Because they are no longer your Spiritual Family.  Just your physical family which have a struggle now with you who seems to them to be out of their "family love".  So this needs to be corrected by a "Greater Love".  Which they see and desire to enter too.

Dad gave a great Truth to all in this situation.  Where you are in a relationship of "respect" and can not just speak out loud.  As was the case in the religious lives of the Jews at his time.   So you can not say anything except if invited to speak on this "dangerous topic".  So we have to enter "being invited".  And that is trusting in the Gift of Pastor which Peter told us about.  Where God your Dad uses your Living Example in Grace as the Power to pull them to ask you how do you "manage to be that good".   Because they desire it for themselves too.

1 Peter 3

1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

[walla299]

Lots of good advice here, and I think I may be able to add something.

I grew up in a mostly non-religious household until I was around 10 years old. Not even a Bible was allowed in the house though I never knew why at that age. Non-believing parents can be tough because they know us so well & the whole "phase" thing came up for me after my brother an I got saved at a tent revival.

Something happened this week that I feel I should share because it can apply to just about any non-believer out there.

I had a new co-driver this week who claimed to be non-religious. As we made a run from Los Angeles to Phoenix (there is much empty desert along Interstate 10 and we were both bored and tired of stuff on the radio) out of nowhere he asked if I believed Jesus really rose from the dead.

The Holy Spirit opened a door and with His help I was able to say yes and give a short explanation of why.

That was the only time religion was mentioned on his part - and the Spirit let me know that was all I needed to say - so I kept quiet and waited to see what else might come up. I have no idea what the Spirit might be doing in the man's heart and it really isn't my business. I was reminded of Paul saying one sows, another waters, and God gives the increase so I will leave it in His capable hands.

 

[Guest LaurenMay]

Just thought I’d give a little update here.

I’ve chosen to go about without really bringing any religious debate to my home, but at the same time invited my Father to discuss things with him when he made a snide comment. Needless to say, he declined such a discussion.

My mother raised concerns that I’ve only ever had one boyfriend and if I don’t start dressing to attract boys then I’ll miss out on an important part of this phase of my life. I said I didn’t want to dress to attract boys but at the same time I tried not to be upset at her. She’s just not sure what to do. I let her take me shopping for new skirts and tights, but I’ve no real intention of wearing them, just wanted her to feel she got a win. 
 

 

[Gracejj]

Well, I am late for this topic but I see there are many good suggestions already.  

I would just add few (i mean long paragraph sorry!!)  words and experience which is  kind of same as non believeing family background, how I deal with the situation. 

I think your mom is lovely, I remember growing up around your age my mom was opposite, she would ask me to not wear clothes that can attract guy's attention, not hangout with boys, boy friend word itself would have caused me "you're grounded"!! , they were strict being Asian, she would say there's time for everything, this is the time for focusing on your education and after that you can think about careers and settling down, so Boyfriend word was not even an option that time. 

My point is, it is okay if you want to have a good standard for yourself and not entertain the idea of wearing clothes to attract guys lol.  You're not gonna miss out, especially when God has a wonderful plan for your future. If you seek His kingdom and His righteousness First,  God  is able to take care of other stuff in your life.  

Actually you are indeed in an important phase of your life which is you finding the Truth aka Jesus, and getting educated in the word of God not only intellectually but Spiritually too is going to be the best part of this important phase of your life. Growing in relationship with Jesus. 

As for family, what helps me is simply praying for them, letting God work in their heart, letting God lead me and be ready for any opportunity God opens up for me to testify the Love and truth and Grace of God to them, through the way I live and carry myself. Being a new creation in Christ, bcos the old is gone and behold God is doing a new thing in my life and they will witness it, and there will be time when they can't deny the power of God in your life, the light of God that will shine through you in their life, as you will love on them by being firm on the truth but also extending the grace and mercy God has for them, they will see the light. One of the best way to tell our family about Jesus is by living the life that Jesus would want us to live as His follower. That's what have helped me with my family too, yes I use to try to preach them too but they weren't ready and were with hardened heart, but later i learned to preach Jesus to them by just living like Jesus would want me to live. They see it and know for sure its not my own but its Christ in me. Though they may hesitate to accept. Sometimes i do see their hearts gets soften. But it took a long way to reach there. 

Hope it helps,

Shalom!!

[farouk]

On 1/20/2025 at 12:29 PM, LaurenMay said:

Just thought I’d give a little update here.

I’ve chosen to go about without really bringing any religious debate to my home, but at the same time invited my Father to discuss things with him when he made a snide comment. Needless to say, he declined such a discussion.

My mother raised concerns that I’ve only ever had one boyfriend and if I don’t start dressing to attract boys then I’ll miss out on an important part of this phase of my life. I said I didn’t want to dress to attract boys but at the same time I tried not to be upset at her. She’s just not sure what to do. I let her take me shopping for new skirts and tights, but I’ve no real intention of wearing them, just wanted her to feel she got a win. 
 

 

Hi @LaurenMay It's not in a sense surprising that a mom would want to see her daughter dress appropriately for her age, or to give her a gift from time to time.

As regarding 'attracting boys', it really hangs on which ones; of which character; and those who love and trust the Lord Jesus and who give emphasis on being a good testimony and put a high regard on prayer and the Scriptures and meeting with other wish similar interests in local church capacity are some indication of character with which the Lord will be more likely to approve.

Other stuff maybe comes naturally with age: the matter of when teen girls might start wearing heels; when the ear piercings happen. (You're likely well past that stage already; you already talked about tattooing,; and so forth.)

[farouk]

On 1/20/2025 at 12:29 PM, LaurenMay said:

My mother raised concerns that I’ve only ever had one boyfriend ...

PS: @LaurenMay I don't understand what the hurry would be (in her mind...?)

[Guest LaurenMay]

On 1/22/2025 at 12:46 AM, farouk said:

PS: @LaurenMay I don't understand what the hurry would be (in her mind...?)

Yeh i’m not so sure myself. Probably just worried about me in her own twisted ways.