Bad Dreams

[penfold]

I had the misfortune of being in an abusive marriage for some years.

Since my divorce I have really come a very long way in my Christian faith and personal development. I was able to see a christian councellor for 6 months and he made me realise who I was as just me.

I have remarried to a lovely Christian man and we are very happy together.

I feel safe with him and he protects me and the children when we are in danger.

The thing is I keep having dreams that my ex husband comes back and tries to fool other people into handing the children and I over to him.

He is silver tongued and says lies about the past.

How can I stop these dreams?

I thought I was so over this- how could he be haunting my dreams after all this time?

[Guest fullnessoftime]

I had the misfortune of being in an abusive marriage for some years.

Since my divorce I have really come a very long way in my Christian faith and personal development. I was able to see a christian councellor for 6 months and he made me realise who I was as just me.

I have remarried to a lovely Christian man and we are very happy together.

I feel safe with him and he protects me and the children when we are in danger.

The thing is I keep having dreams that my ex husband comes back and tries to fool other people into handing the children and I over to him.

He is silver tongued and says lies about the past.

How can I stop these dreams?

I thought I was so over this- how could he be haunting my dreams after all this time?

Hi just a thought, have you forgiven him. I realize he has caused you great pain. But forgiving him of his past hurt to you and your children is a must. God commands us to forgive. He requires this because he forgave us of so much. Forgivness set them free from your judgement of them but it also sets you free to live life to the fullest. You are no longer tied to your past. You allow God to be the judge of what happened and trust him do what is good and right concerning you and your children. God knows and sees all and will work it out to your best when you release it to him. Perhaps these dreams are from God. Who is seeking to set you free to truly know love.

[Leonard]

Will have prayer for you at Vespers.

[Anne]

Penfold, ifyou haven't done so already, you should speak with your minister/pastor on these matters.

Anne

[mrcorey]

I had the misfortune of being in an abusive marriage for some years.

Since my divorce I have really come a very long way in my Christian faith and personal development. I was able to see a christian councellor for 6 months and he made me realise who I was as just me.

I have remarried to a lovely Christian man and we are very happy together.

I feel safe with him and he protects me and the children when we are in danger.

The thing is I keep having dreams that my ex husband comes back and tries to fool other people into handing the children and I over to him.

He is silver tongued and says lies about the past.

How can I stop these dreams?

I thought I was so over this- how could he be haunting my dreams after all this time?

Hi just a thought, have you forgiven him. I realize he has caused you great pain. But forgiving him of his past hurt to you and your children is a must. God commands us to forgive. He requires this because he forgave us of so much. Forgivness set them free from your judgement of them but it also sets you free to live life to the fullest. You are no longer tied to your past. You allow God to be the judge of what happened and trust him do what is good and right concerning you and your children. God knows and sees all and will work it out to your best when you release it to him. Perhaps these dreams are from God. Who is seeking to set you free to truly know love.

Dear Penfold;

Fullnessoftime has some good advice. Though I've never been married. I have and still do suffer from PTSD & Clinical Depression. I was raised in a very abusive home, physical, sexual and emotional abuse. The worst part of PTSD is the nightmares. I was in counseling with a Pastor and his suggestion was for me to write a letter to each of my parents. Detailing what I remembered and FORGIVING them of their offenses. Of course, the letters never were meant to be mailed. I gave them to the Pastor, I don't know what he did with them but assume he put them through the shredder. It was a very hard exercise to do, but I did as he said. And it has worked wonders. I still get nightmares about my childhood, but they are bearable most of the time. I don't get them nearly as often as I used to. I would just offer you this advice and suggest you get more counseling too. I think talking it out with a counselor will help. Try a Pastor or Deacon, or a local Christian counselor.

Praying for you & may God bless you.

in Him;

corey

[penfold]

I think I have forgiven the things he did to me until something comes up and reminds me of something he did or said and I feel angry about it again.

I hand it over to the Lord there and then and say " he did THIS to me" and God says to me "let me keep hold of THIS for you" and then I dont feel so angry.

I just feel that he still has this strangle hold on me and I want to be free of it.

I have shared this in the past with my pastoral support and have been very successfully seen by a Christian councellor but perhaps I need a bit more in the way of help.

Thanks for your kind replies

[other one]

[Guest Avvie]

Hello Penfold, I echo what the other members have said and also have something to add- I know of someone who suffered terrible nightmares for a long time. The only thing that finally ended it was putting on the helmet of salvation. You know the bible verse about the armour of God? I can't think of what it is off hand but every night he would say outloud the part sbout putting on the helmet of salvation and mime putting on a helmet. The nightmares stopped, I'll be praying for you and I really recommend putting on your armour.

God bless, Avvie.

[elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid]

you posted your new husband protects you and your children when you are in danger. I would think that you are still concerned that the abusive ex can hurt your children. I don't know if they are still having to see him as a present or if it is a future fear. if they are still seeing him, I can understand the nightmares because(its not in the past still) you would fear him hurting them. if they are not seeing him and he is not endangering them at this time, the thought is still there that he may try. I think spiritual warfare is needed for the protection of your children and your peace and trust in Gods protection. The Lord does love your children as much as you do and HE will protect them.

He will make a hedge that none can pass around your children.

if you can pray for this ex who is like an enemy that God protect him from being used of satan also and that he may know God in Christ. because satan is our real enemy behind the physical is the spiritual cause. I do not think it is a matter of unforgiveness anymore, unless you don't pray for his protection from satan that will ultimately be the protection for your children from his abuse , a first step in being a Christian I had to pray for such a person, Jesus said pray for our enemies and those who spitefully misuse us,anyone who would hurt my children fit this description to me.

I think after what you have been through , it is natural to have some nightmares and may try to keep a journal and see what it is that is triggering the nightmares if you can. most of all, prayer, cover your family in prayer and rest in Gods trustful and faithful nature. for your nightmares prayer again before sleeping. IF GOD IS WITH ME WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME?!

[elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid]

on the second reply, some anger is natural, most Christians don't think it is. we are not told to never be/feel angry - but, not to sin in our anger. we don't rage of course. but some anger is natural and we have to learn to give it up over and over till it is gone , sometimes it does take a long time to all get out.

so we don't give in to it -but we do own our feelings. we have the Helper in the Holy Spirit in us for this.

I have had this dialogue in my prayers once upon a time. oh the LORD said FORGIVE. ok yes forgive . YES< FORGIVENESS. but, this person hurt me for a long time. I BEEN HURT FOR A LONG TIME TOO THE LORD SAID.

forgiveness at the times your anger returns.

but, nightmares of fears coming to the forefront sometimes.

I'm praying for you and your children, your ex too.

GOD IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN he IS!!!

blessings to you and your family in Christ