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Posted

Okay, so there was this guy I dated about a year ago...and we broke up, went our seperate ways for a while, then about three months ago we were able to start seeing each other again as friends. In a lot of ways we make much better friends than we ever did as boyfriend and girlfriend. I care about him quite a bit, but in a platonic way. Lately though, he has been depressed and I have been keeping him company, cheering him up...building him up as much as I can. The thing is that he seems to want to get closer...which I can't let happen. He isn't a Christian, and I do not feel for him that way (and I don't want that to change...I can't let myself fall for him again)...so we can never go back to the way it was. I'm not sure what to do, or even if I'm just imagineing it. I want to keep our friendship...and I feel I can do somthing for him because I understand him...telling him about God, and giving him hope...he has so little hope now. I have no idea where to turn on this

Posted

gently explain to him that you have drawn close to God and found peace in your faith, and that while you are not willing to compromise your relationship with God for one that would lead to inappropriate behavior (as would likely happen with someone who does not share your faith), you would very much like to share with him ABOUT your faith... you could be a great witness to him! even if he has ulterior motives for listening, the seeds will be planted, provided you don't allow yourself to get in a bad situation. avoid being alone with him in private places!


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Posted

Lady C..... :emot-giggle:


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Posted
Okay, so there was this guy I dated about a year ago...and we broke up, went our seperate ways for a while, then about three months ago we were able to start seeing each other again as friends. In a lot of ways we make much better friends than we ever did as boyfriend and girlfriend. I care about him quite a bit, but in a platonic way. Lately though, he has been depressed and I have been keeping him company, cheering him up...building him up as much as I can. The thing is that he seems to want to get closer...which I can't let happen. He isn't a Christian, and I do not feel for him that way (and I don't want that to change...I can't let myself fall for him again)...so we can never go back to the way it was. I'm not sure what to do, or even if I'm just imagineing it. I want to keep our friendship...and I feel I can do somthing for him because I understand him...telling him about God, and giving him hope...he has so little hope now. I have no idea where to turn on this

stay focused on God and he'll keep you on track. Your doing really well in this situation :emot-pray:


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Posted

I see you somehow wanting to be with him again- you are being attracted anyway.

If you are sure you shouldnt be with this guy then say so and be firm.

He will be happier that you didnt "lead him on" ultimately.

Listen to what the others have said and take someone with you if he still needs some support, dont hurt him more than he is already hurting and just tell him that you are feeling mixed up and that seeing him isnt helping.

By the way my husband wasnt a christian when I first started seeing him but as church and christianity is such a big part of my life he had to either run with it or, well, run off!

Thanks to God he stayed and is still lush and lovely christian leader in our church now.


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Posted

I smell a game! It's the "please pity me, sweet girl, I am really a nice guy who only wants the best for you please help me game!" Wanna play?! The only way to win it to:

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

I Love Jesus' idea was a good one, about bringing a guy Christian friend along. I think it would bring motives to light.

And I would recommened making him stay away from you, the worst thing that could happen is to get wrapped up in something that could damage your relationship with Christ. He knows where to find you: in Christ.


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Posted
I smell a game! It's the "please pity me, sweet girl, I am really a nice guy who only wants the best for you please help me game!" Wanna play?!

This is definetly not true. He isn't the type to play mind games...I know him very well...and besides, as one who has played one to many mindgames herself, I know what it looks like when it happens. It isn't his intentions to lead me astray. He never goes out of his way to talk about his problems, he keeps them to himself, and when I notice there is somthing wrong (not many people can even tell when he is upset because he puts on a very good mask) I ask about it.

However, I am fully aware that the enemy may be using him to lead me astray. I have been cautious, and I intend to talk to him about his intentions, and about what is going on. If he has feelings for me, I will remove myself from the situation for at least a while. But I do feel that God has somthing for me to do here.

thank you for all the replies so far, they have been helpful

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Posted

Hi Fire....

Just to let you know.....Been there done that.....actually i was on the end you are on.....the trying to be friends end...

Its difficult....trust me I know....I will keep you in my prayers.... God Bless....see ya around chat :noidea:


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Posted
gently explain to him that you have drawn close to God and found peace in your faith, and that while you are not willing to compromise your relationship with God for one that would lead to inappropriate behavior (as would likely happen with someone who does not share your faith), you would very much like to share with him ABOUT your faith... you could be a great witness to him! even if he has ulterior motives for listening, the seeds will be planted, provided you don't allow yourself to get in a bad situation. avoid being alone with him in private places!

Excellent advice. Explain to him that Jesus is his hope. That the world holds nothing for him. Be a light, but follow LadyC advice about being alone with him. He has to make a choice for himself. Pray,Pray.Pray.

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