how would you handle this situation

[GodslilRedneck]

I am now talking to this guy that is 19 and i am 16 (goin to be 17 in July) and I just found out that he had a 4 year old daughter. I dont know how to handle it.

~GodslilRedneck~

~Ash~

[chicagoburbite]

AS a mom of a 14 and almost 15 year old... if you were MY daughter, I would not want you to date anyone that much older than you. There is too much of an age gap between 16 and 19. If you were 26 and 29 it wouldn't be an issue. Stick to being friends... and date guys your own age.

Much love,

mom (Jenni)

[aaronjm]

Even at 19 I knew a whole lot of nothing, at 16 forget about it. You have your whole life to worry about stupid stuff like this, why don't you concentrate on being a teenager, don't waste those years, believe me you will want them back some day. If you were my daughter there would be no way, but I'm not, so I can just say seek G-d for your answers, He is NEVER wrong. Shalom

Aaron

[boblandis]

The odds favor that this boy (I just can't quite call him a man) isn't mature enough to be in a relationship until he gets his priorities right (and not to mention morals). Otherwise he could possibly sweet talking you down a path you would regret taking and possiby being a mother at 17. Believe me, thats way too young.

Edited January 8, 2006 by boblandis

[GodslilRedneck]

Well, he said at the time that it was a mistake to have had sex with the girl, but he wouldn't trade his daughter for the world. He told me that his daughter was his life and to me that says a lot. My mom got pregnant at 15 and the father and her married before my brother was born and after he was born the father just split and we haven't heard from him since, so to me that says a lot abou Brandon and his priorities in life. He also told me that the girl that he previously dated was real religious and he respected that. The thing that impresses me about him though is that he fought to keep his daughter, even at 16. My mom has told me that it was my decision whether or not to date him, and I have told him that I love going to church, and that I would go more often if I could, but unfortunately I have to work most Sunday's and he said that he respected my standards. He says that he doesn't like to have just flings, and neither do I. I will pray and see what I am suppose to do...

[cag7800]

saying he respects you and showing you respect are 2 different thing.only time will see which he does.does he have cosody of his baby"ask him if he would want his daughter to date a 19 yr old.

[GodslilRedneck]

He says he is protective of his daughter and he asked me how much older was I aloud to date guys, and I told him before my mom and dad divorced that it wasn't an option to date my dad was that controllive and he told me that he was protective over his daughter especially when he has to take her back to her mom's. He is going to go to court again to try to get full custody of Bre, bc her mother doesn't take care of her the way she should.

[nebula]

I have told him that I love going to church, and that I would go more often if I could, but unfortunately I have to work most Sunday's and he said that he respected my standards.

Question - is he a Christian?

Respect or not, a Christian married to a non-Christian is a strained relationship.

If you could ever talk with a Christian who is in such a marriage, you would understand this.

No matter how much love and respect there is, there is also much pain and frustration.

[Bolts]

He says he is protective of his daughter and he asked me how much older was I aloud to date guys, and I told him before my mom and dad divorced that it wasn't an option to date my dad was that controllive and he told me that he was protective over his daughter especially when he has to take her back to her mom's. He is going to go to court again to try to get full custody of Bre, bc her mother doesn't take care of her the way she should.

You show a lot of maturity by looking for advice and guidence. I am also really thrilled that you are going to take it to the Lord in prayer. I have had two Dads in my lifetime. But the one that really matters is my Heavenly Father - where Dad's are concerned, God outshines them both. As far as parenting goes, God is the best that there is.

Personally I think you are to young to become an instant parent. Instant families are not like instant milkshakes. The ingredients are not all in the mix and you can end up very lonely and depressed. At 16 you are still young yourself and need to be loved and nurtured like a blosoming rose. Tell him your to young and not ready and then take yourself off with your christian friends and have loads of fun.

[Khristeeanos]

I say stay away.

Anybody who is older and already has a kid is probably going to try and play you for .... um.... physical contact.

But please take the following advice to heart.

Don't bother to listen to what a guy says, but how a guy acts.