ugh, i hate myself

[elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid]

(((((((((((((Cutiepie)))))))))))))

sorry I wrote the wrong name.

I am praying for you and hope to hear how you are doing.

PLease take care. Good food and good exercise and good life in Christ, it may seem unfamilar atr first to you, but in time you will see yourself in good ways as the Lord has made you and sees you!

((((((((((((cutiepie))))))))))

elkie

[cutiepie1497]

how am i doing? I feel lik the scum of the Earth at the moment. Everyone who knows me is so fooled right now, I think I can cover anything up. I have been to counseling for anorexia and bulimia and in the end she said i was making progress but not enough and that she could no longer help me and wanted me to either go to a psychologist or go to inpatient treatment, which I would never do because they balanced out and it didnt result in but a few pounds lost in the end....ugh. I just need to stay busy. I quit my job 2 weeks ago because it with church and friends and school was just too much, I will hopefully get a job next year or this summer, who knows. The money was nice, but I have like $1100 for school clothes, so I am good to go right now. Thanks for all of your encouragement. Its funny, in a bikini, if I lift my arms straight out in front of me so they dont block my side view i can see the outline of my ribcage and some of the ribs....very neat.

[Candi770]

Cellshade,

That was when I was in high school the Lord totally delivered me by 21, I'm in my 30's now.

I'm have been healed and totally set free years ago. I realized why, I did it. After I had

my first child, when I looked into the mirror- I no longer saw myself distorted. I only was truely anorexic for maybe 1 year or a little more-unfortunantly I still saw distortions until

21.

To God be the glory!!!

Blessings

[Candi770]

Cutiepie

Let the Lord bring the whole thing into the light and don't be afraid. Ask Jesus to give you the strength to stand- the battle belongs to Him- and He is mighty in battle. Don't be ashamed of exposure for Jesus walks in the light and we should walk there with him. When he heals you you will have something bigger and brighter to Brag about- and he blesses you more each time you Brag on him!!

Just repent and don't let the devil give you condemnation about it. Receive the help of your parents and others- Jesus can work through them too. Confession is a good thing- then everyone can pray and everyone is in agreement. You willing to allow healing and those you love behind you, Jesus standing there with you-it's all a good thing.

As christians our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit-we must deal carefully with it because it is not ours to begin with.

Blessings

[CellShade]

Ahh I just noticed something i was mistakeng on, confused and though candi was cutiepie, kind of like the c in the first place and then the number sevev, my brain over looked it lol.

My bad.

Cutie Pie, physocologist aren't bad, I used to go to one for a while when I being a little depressed or had too much anxiety, and they aren't bad, perphaps you should try one, besides I also think the counselor you were going wasn't very professional saying like that, everyone can change, it just take's time and encouragement .

Also enjoy life, everything in life isn't about being thin or fat, there is more to life then that.

Make exercises, know which food affect your life and weight, let's say if you don't want to drink milk becuase you think it gives you too much fat, drink soy or silk milk, it's not bad tasting and it's healthier.

What worries me is, if you go like this your calcium rates will seriusly drop, your blood vessels won't be so productive, there is a chance that you may end up with serius sickness, some resulting in not being able to have a baby when you are older.

There is a point to being skinny, and one to being just bones, you are still ok, but any lower and you will be messing up your life.

I would say at least come up to a size 3, with the proper food, in fact, witht he proper food, you don't even need to go up, in fact, with proper food, you can even loose weight!, but not eating will cause your sugar levels to drop which will prop end up starting a chain were your fat reserves will produce a sustance were you will gain weight.

So the point is, at this place is.

If you still are anorexix= overtime you might end up fatter= calcium, glucose, blood disorder, good and bad colestherol becoming awfully low= at least a dozen of sicknesses and things that will make it impossible to do normal things in life.

If your friends bother you of something, ignore them, Jesus loves you as your inner person, He looks for your soul, not your weight, He looks for your heart and your mind, He also knows that right now you are suffering even if you don't know it, He loves you, but you got to keep and openmind to hear him.

May God Bless You and help you out of this position that you are in right now. Look for counselling in church, ask y our pastor for counselling, also you can ask the elders of your church, many wise advice will be told to you.

Bless you cutie pie, and listen to candi, she knows the pain it brings, the more time you take to get out of this life style, the worst it will be.

[Candi770]

Cellshade is right. The body is robbed of calcium. My teeth are not the greatest. Through my pregnancies I had issues with iron def. And my sugar gets out of wack. I believe my right kidney was effected too. In the teen years (12years on)girls need a good supply of calcium to avoid major issues. Luckily, I'm not fat- I'm slightly over normal but am happy.

I had to separate myself from anyone who were obsessive about weight loss. I could totally sense what they were up to. It doesn't bother me now. My prayer partner has been a total blessing and she is naturally small. I have no jealousy what so ever-because I know who I belong too.

The Lord had in the past, when I didn't realize my sugar was high-lead me to a very specific fast and he told me what to eat (very Healthy) and it had to have lowered my sugar. I went to the doctors and he just knew I had diabetes- but I had no sign what so ever. I read an over the counter mag on how to fight diabetes and everything the Lord led me to-lowered my

sugar-God is soo Good. I'm giving myself over to him to keep my sugar lower-my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak!!!

[cutiepie1497]

im fatter today than i have ever been in my life! this is getting depressing. oh well, this summer I am going to hit the gym for 2 hours a day or so and i will hopefully lose 5-20 pounds. i weigh 89 pounds today,

[DaniJ87]

im fatter today than i have ever been in my life! this is getting depressing. oh well, this summer I am going to hit the gym for 2 hours a day or so and i will hopefully lose 5-20 pounds. i weigh 89 pounds today,

That is SO unhealthy, cutiepie.

You have a physical and psychological problem that is NOT being fat- it is being too thin! You will end up killing yourself if you keep starving your body! According to nutrition standards, you NEEEEEDDDD at least 1600 calories every day, to be healthy. If you eat all of this, (which isn't all that much) you will NOT be fat, and especially not if you exercise!

My sister was a size zero once... when she was a little kid! I wear size 16-18.... and now, *I* DO have some weight to part with.... the weight you have, is mostly water, muscle, and organs! The little fat you must have is necessary for your body- it cushons your internal organs, and protects them from damage. The absolute healthy minimum for a woman to have, is 10% body-fat... and it's also normal, up to 25% body fat..... Women NEED fat. it's healthy.

If you can see your rib-cage and you look stick-thin, yuck- do you think that will attract anybody? You most likely look so unhealthily thin, that if anything, you will just get attention because people are worried you are going to have physical problems!

It is SO important that you ask God to get your mind off of skinniness- Not only are you more than slender enough, but it's not important- if you put size and shape before God, you have an idol, and it's sin. It's also wrong to harm your body, so that you look better in your view- it's not healthy, and the Bible says we are to take care of our bodies, because God made them for us.

If your parents and/or doctors or counselors are saying you need to weigh MORE... don't think you know better- you don't. They know the serious medical issues that abound when you starve yourself... Did you know you could go blind from vitamin A deficiency? And you will get osteoporosis, if you starve yourself? And you will wreck your organs, and be permanently damaged?

It's not worth it, Cutiepie. Really. Go eat some fruit and a glass of milk. You need it.

[Candi770]

Cutiepie,

You've been given the word of God/ You are responsible to walk in it. Are you listening to the

voice of God-Don't you understand he wants you to Live and Not die.

Your choice- I'm giving you over to the Lord!!!!!

Dear Heavenly father, (I stand in the gap for this little one)

I bind that murderous spirit in the name of Jesus and command it to leave!!!! Devil desist from your assignment NOW!! Lord I ask that you Take the blinders off her eyes so she can see the true enemy and take authority over the whole situation. I leave her in your hands Lord, take away the cravings that drive her to lose weight, let everyone around her notice what she is up too, and Holy Spirit bring conviction to her heart- don't let her rest until she submits to Your authority!!! Put seasoned labors in her path everywhere she turns that she- will turn again to You. I command Life into her body in the name of Jesus, Take her

out of the presence of the things that causes this desire. Anorexia/Bulemia, you have no authority over this Girl- I command those thoughts that are in her head to leave. Holy Spirit speak Loudly and Clearly to her. Speak to her in her dreams. Break all chains that bind her and set her free. Protect her with your precious Blood Jesus and thank you for the angels around her. Wake her to new life again, let her see the plans that you have for her life,

give her a desire to life and not die. If she is suffering any hidden abuse- shed light on it

and bring it out of darkness into the light and deal with that person. No weapon formed against her will shall prosper and every tongue that rises up against her in judgement (the enemy)shall be condemned. Shake that household and wake the parents to awareness

of all that concerns this little girl. Bring healing, health and Life now.

In Jesus Name Amen

Thank you God, we're expecting a miracle on her behalf.

[CellShade]

im fatter today than i have ever been in my life! this is getting depressing. oh well, this summer I am going to hit the gym for 2 hours a day or so and i will hopefully lose 5-20 pounds. i weigh 89 pounds today, crap

im fatter today than i have ever been in my life! this is getting depressing. oh well, this summer I am going to hit the gym for 2 hours a day or so and i will hopefully lose 5-20 pounds. i weigh 89 pounds today, crap

That is SO unhealthy, cutiepie.

You have a physical and psychological problem that is NOT being fat- it is being too thin! You will end up killing yourself if you keep starving your body! According to nutrition standards, you NEEEEEDDDD at least 1600 calories every day, to be healthy. If you eat all of this, (which isn't all that much) you will NOT be fat, and especially not if you exercise!

My sister was a size zero once... when she was a little kid! I wear size 16-18.... and now, *I* DO have some weight to part with.... the weight you have, is mostly water, muscle, and organs! The little fat you must have is necessary for your body- it cushons your internal organs, and protects them from damage. The absolute healthy minimum for a woman to have, is 10% body-fat... and it's also normal, up to 25% body fat..... Women NEED fat. it's healthy.

If you can see your rib-cage and you look stick-thin, yuck- do you think that will attract anybody? You most likely look so unhealthily thin, that if anything, you will just get attention because people are worried you are going to have physical problems!

It is SO important that you ask God to get your mind off of skinniness- Not only are you more than slender enough, but it's not important- if you put size and shape before God, you have an idol, and it's sin. It's also wrong to harm your body, so that you look better in your view- it's not healthy, and the Bible says we are to take care of our bodies, because God made them for us.

If your parents and/or doctors or counselors are saying you need to weigh MORE... don't think you know better- you don't. They know the serious medical issues that abound when you starve yourself... Did you know you could go blind from vitamin A deficiency? And you will get osteoporosis, if you starve yourself? And you will wreck your organs, and be permanently damaged?

It's not worth it, Cutiepie. Really. Go eat some fruit and a glass of milk. You need it.

Cutie, are you kidding me?? 89 pounds and loosing 5 to 20 could mean loosing 1 to 20% more of your personal health.

Like Dania said, I wanted to say that for a long time but wanted to wait for the appropiatte moment, if I personally saw you skinnier then that, only way you would grab my attention is because I could see your bones!It's not even a joke, you need to get healthier.

Ok now I think I need to get a bit serius so pardon me but.

Yoy allready have an age that you know what's good and wrong, you need to stop acting kind of like a baby and try to feel innocent and staying in your way, instead you should STEP UP, and cut the anoxeria Idea out of your mind, pray to God that He gives you help, since you can no longer act like you don't know it's wrong, even if you don't think it's wrong, see the logic in it!!!

God loves you and right now you are ruining your Body which should be God's temple, so stop messing with your body, it's not health!!!, God gave you the body so you can take care of it, so start taking care of it! Eat healthy, do exercersise, but don't be bulimic or anoxerix!

Think of the future, the body AND health you have right now will stick to you if God gives you the years of prob more then some 60 more years!.

So stop the thin

Here in big letters.

YOU ARE NOT FAT!! GET THAT IDEA OUT OF YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THIN, AWFULLY THIN, UNHEALTHY THIN, YOU STILL CAN STOP THIS, ALL YOU NEED TO SAY AND DO IS STOP WITH THE SKINNY UNHEALTHY COMPULSIVE DISORDER YOU HAVE! GOD LOVES YOU, SO START FEELING HIS LOVE, AND STOP RUNING THE BODY HE GAVES YOU AND THAT HE CLEANSED YOUR SOUL WITH HIS BLOOD IN THE CROSS!

Sorry if I sounder a bit rought, I know I will prob get critizise for putting it this way, but it's her life and health at stake, and the life of her children when she gets married, if we don't speak to her, her life might get ruined this early..

Blessings and Hugs.

CellShade.