Ministering to grieving friends

[Times]

I have a friend that is married. Her son (his stepson) died about 7 months ago. He has been talking with me about this. He says he has accepted the Lord during this time. Although I see no real life style change. Him, his wife and her mother have been going to the Catholic church since the stepson's death. Last Thursday the Grand Mother died suddenly. No apparent reason. My friend is devastated, not to mention his wife. How would you suggest I minister to him?

[Old Timer]

Many years ago a young couple we knew very well had a daughter

stricken with cancer at an early age. She was about 11 years old when

she died. I was reminded then, as I am now, of Job's afflictions. He

had seven sons and three daughters all of whom were killed.

Job questioned God as to why. God's answer was simple, "Who are you,

Job, to question God? Were you there when I laid the foundations of

the earth?"

In the end God doubled all that Job had lost. God gave Job twice the

number of sheep, cattle, etc. But again we read that God gave Job

seven sons and three daughters, the same as he had before, not double.

Why? The sons and daughters that were killed were not lost. Job did

indeed now have twice as many children as before. As Job said, "I know

that my redeemer lives, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon

the earth: And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my

flesh I shall see God."

[Spunky]

I was given this prayer when I lost my Grandfather and it helped

in my grieving period and hope it will help your friend and his family

as well!

Dear God,

Thank You for being my companion,

in the midst of my sorrow.

At times the grief seems unbearable,

but You will be my comfort.

I'm reassured by the fact that You have experienced grief,

so You know just what I need.

Carry me through this difficult time, I pray.

Amen.

God Bless!

[SueZQ]

I have been on the receiving end of ministry after a sudden death and I have been the one God chose to use after a sudden death to minister to friends.

Be there... plain and simple... take over food, kleenex, a can of coffee, be observant as to what is the present need. Does the trash can need emptied, did they bring in the mail, the paper, are there pets that need to be fed or walked, a litter box cleaned? Does the dishwasher need unloaded... all things the simple daily tasks that the grieiving person somehow can't remember to do. Just do them, no need to ask the family if you see a need and you are able to fulfill that need then do it.

I have found that by being a servant unto my friends, I was able to extend the hand of God to them. In the weeks after send a card, take over some cookies or a loaf of bread from the bakery, it's the after care, when all the family, friends leave that becomes so important to the family... weeks, months after.

Hugs in Christ Jesus,

Sue

[Times]

I have been on the receiving end of ministry after a sudden death and I have been the one God chose to use after a sudden death to minister to friends.

Be there... plain and simple... take over food, kleenex, a can of coffee, be observant as to what is the present need. Does the trash can need emptied, did they bring in the mail, the paper, are there pets that need to be fed or walked, a litter box cleaned? Does the dishwasher need unloaded... all things the simple daily tasks that the grieiving person somehow can't remember to do. Just do them, no need to ask the family if you see a need and you are able to fulfill that need then do it.

I have found that by being a servant unto my friends, I was able to extend the hand of God to them. In the weeks after send a card, take over some cookies or a loaf of bread from the bakery, it's the after care, when all the family, friends leave that becomes so important to the family... weeks, months after.

Hugs in Christ Jesus,

Sue

Good advice.

[David from New Bern]

No forced application, follow the advice of preceding post about kindness and compassion displayed, and at a moment the Holy Spirit directs ask don't tell..."If you don't mind me asking, what is going through your mind right now?" If they respond with an indication that they are open to a conversation about spiritual matters, ask "what do they feel like the Lord is trying to communicate to you and your family?" You will be amazed how this inquiry will tell you exactly what to do or say next. Crisis builds intimacy among people real quickly, use it for the Lord but let Him guide you to the teachable moments

[Guest jckduboise]

Times,

Sometimes the best thing to do is not say anything until they are ready. Just continue to be a friend. Listen and let him pour out his grief. And just pray and pray.