Offence

[Inusia]

I'm glad that my thread is still alive and I can read your individual thoughts!

I've noticed, that offence always takes its place next to love and friendship. 'cause if you love somebody you always demand some kind of respect and care in return; in other words, you expect this person to be tolerant with you. And sometimes offence comes up from nowhere - just because you think something is going not the way it used to... There are moments you can't explain why you feel blue about someone's behaviour (or words adressed to you), but all the same you can't help it.

Maybe in this case its better not to tell about your bitter feelings?

[Guest takuma]

I've noticed, that offence always takes its place next to love and friendship. 'cause if you love somebody you always demand some kind of respect and care in return; in other words, you expect this person to be tolerant with you. And sometimes offence comes up from nowhere - just because you think something is going not the way it used to... There are moments you can't explain why you feel blue about someone's behaviour (or words adressed to you), but all the same you can't help it.

Maybe in this case its better not to tell about your bitter feelings?

If you see the root of the problem clearly enough, why not? If you see the way of solving the problem or improving your relationships, why not?

People can

Edited August 4, 2006 by takuma

[Anne]

This thread got me thinking,

I'm not sure that I would classify it as being offensive, but it certainly hurts me right to the core of my heart.....for almost a year now, I've really wanted to go to Jerusalem, some folk in here will know that already, I've been saying this to my family and friends for almost as long. The response is varied, from laughing, to rolling their eyes and looking doubtful, to saying "why would you want to go there?" So I told them, "I want to walk where Jesus walked, I want to see the places He saw, I want to shake the hands with and hug the Jewish people, I want to talk with them and learn from them, I want to talk with them about the Bible." I also said that, "I really felt that I needed to be there."

I was politely informed that if God wanted me to be there, He would tell me.

I worked very hard at not exploding at this point and asked this person how I would know if God was telling me?

"Oh, you'll know" was the bases of their reply.

So I questioned them, "How do you know that it isn't God who has placed this in my heart?"

Their conclusion was, it was doubtful that God was asking/telling me to go to Jerusalem, and besides it would be a stupid thing to do anyway, wouldn't it be nicer to take a nice vacation somewhere else.

Well my blood was nearly at boiling point by this stage , and the person could see this, so as politely as I could muster at this point I basically said, "I've been telling you guys for a year now that i'm going to Jerusalem, someday you'll not find me looking for your approval and help. I thought the bases of christians was to help and support each other!"

I could see at this stage I was becoming the offender, so I shut up. But I just don't get it, why one christian not take another christians desire to testify, where ever in the world that might be, seriously.

lol..........I truely am not offended, just hurt, cause I can't seem to get the support behind me that I suppose I would need.

I've finished ranting now

[kittylover0991]

Hey, people.

The topic is quite interesting. I don

[KarenJo5]

There are a few things that offend me. First people who look at someone and assume they can judge what type of person they are by the way they talk ,dress,or look.Some of my family members do this! Seeing any one being disrespectful to an older person is another big one! I have tried to raise my kids in a moral and christian home and it really offends me to have people who DON'T live with me tell me I am not disciplining them correctly.I believe a nice calm discussion works better than a whipping most of the time. By the way I have pretty good kids.

[Openly Curious]

I was in a very large (several thousand) church in California, visiting, and was singled out, hauled up on "stage," a mic thrust in my face and asked to "testify." I was offended because I can't speak, nobody asked me beforehand, they just assumed I would do it and when I didn't they joked about it and gently rebuked me. I, in typical fashion, responded with sign language (not ASL in this case). Sometimes Christians can be very thoughtless.

(((((Marnie)))))

I know this type of thing goes on and I do not like it at all. in fact it tares my nerves all to pieces it's hard enough as things are without this kind of pressure. I am sorry you had to experience this. I have visited several churches in our area and would not go back because of this very thing. it is almost like they are trying to embarrass and shame you IMO testing your spirit out and it is not appropriate at all. some I've even heard call them popcorn testimonies and then they'll say out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh justifying themselves for calling on you personally or other people within that manner. but I like you do not go for it at all it is offensive and can be and is extremely hurtful more than meets the eye.

OC

[KeilanS]

One thing that really bugs me is when kids (those old enough to know better) go as guests into somebody elses home and then don't show courtesy to the home-owner. Like I know kids who will play rough games or not worry about spilling drinks/food when they are invited into somebodies home and then things end up broken or ruined... It just bugs me when people don't consider how others feel about things...

[Inusia]

I believe that this is a typical behaviour of ill-bred children. If this bugs you (I see it does) you can start bringing up respect towards hosts maybe you have talent for this. To tell you the truth I have never managed to do this, 'cause I don't have my own kids. I know it would be easier if I had.

[LadyRaven]

I believe that this is a typical behaviour of ill-bred children. If this bugs you (I see it does) you can start bringing up respect towards hosts maybe you have talent for this. To tell you the truth I have never managed to do this, 'cause I don't have my own kids. I know it would be easier if I had.

Unfortunately you don't have the right to tell other people how to raise their children. However, if I'm the one upset by it, I do have the right to tell that child it upsets me. So...I do say that, "sue, I'm sure your mom was going to tell you sooner or later, but you shouldn't stand on the furniture in someone else's house, it's rude because it could ruin it." I have never had anyone rebut me, though I'm sure it made people irritated. But I have freedom of speech and that includes that which would irritate people.

What really makes me mad is if it's my house and I call the child on it, some kids actually have the nerve to say "I'm allowed to do that," when I just told them not to. I say "Maybe on your own furniture but your not allowed to stand on mine and you are also not allowed to tell me in my house what you are allowed to do, because it's not your mom that says what you are allowed todo in my house it's me. You back talk me again in my house and you will not come in it again."

And you know it's quite a statement when a lady with purple and maroon hair has to tell a kid not to smart mouth them. I'm pretty open minded about alot of things and my kids don't have alot of unnecessary rules. I don't believe in them. But...argh....

However...

I don't believe that all things which offend are done in the context of friendship or relationship (which was another post but I thought I'd be economic for a change). I'm offended by injustices... Like Cashman giving that guy three months for child rape. That offended me.