Remarrying after a Divorce....is it forbidden?

[MrsSealedEternal]

mrs. sealed,

i'm going to quote myself here...

27Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

scripture indicates here that one should not seek a divorce, nor should one who is divorced seek a wife... BUT and IF he marries again, he has not sinned any more than a virgin who marries the first time. so for the innocent mate who has been issued a divorce by their spouse, they do not sin if they remarry. nothing in scripture is irrelevant. nothing in scripture is written without reason or purpose. all of scripture is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

that being said, divorce (even for the guilty party) is not the unforgivable sin. once you've repented of your sin, your slate has been wiped clean. if you've repented of divorce, you don't spend the rest of your life still guilty of it. if God is true to His word, then the sin of divorce has been forgiven once you've repented. God no longer remembers it.

by the same token, the prostitute who has never been married is just as forgiven when she repents of her fornication and becomes just as white as snow as the person who has remained a virgin til their wedding night. once a new creature in Christ, the past is erased.

in both instances, be it the prostitute or the divorcee, once they have been reconciled to God, they are free to marry.

now... robin is in deep despair here. she has committed adultry. she has obtained a divorce that she initiated. she has repented and been forgiven.

do you believe that God's grace is sufficient to erase her past and wipe her slate clean?

or do you believe that she is, and will forever be, guilty?

you quoted a passage from john 8. go read john 4, where Jesus gave living water (forgiveness) to the woman who had been married FIVE TIMES.

whoever here is without sin, stone her.

We differ on our interpretations of the verses in1 Corinthians 7:27 & 28.

Joh 4:13 Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again;

Joh 4:14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life."

Joh 4:15 The woman *said to Him, "Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw."

Joh 4:16 He *said to her, "Go, call your husband and come here."

Joh 4:17 The woman answered and said, "I have no husband." Jesus *said to her, "You have correctly said, 'I have no husband';

Joh 4:18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly."

It mentions nothing concerning the circumstances surrounding her having had 5 husbands. For all anyone here knows, all five could of been deceased...

I believe that if she made a covenant to be a wife to her husband and committed adultery she should repent and seek reconciliation with her spouse when and if it is possible, and she should remain as she is. This is what I believe scripture is teaching and would be what I would do in her circumstance. I cannot in a clear conscience advise entering another marriage under her circumstances.

I will not stone her, I will only share with her what I believe the Word of God says on the matter and leave the rest between her and the Lord. She will not stand or fall before me, but Him. Only God knows her heart.

[Floatingaxe]

Regarding 1 Corinthians....

You've got to be careful of context:

26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs

[Guest LadyC]

i would not ask for you to go against your conscience. but perhaps rather than leaving her with the impression that she can never be forgiven, you might suggest that she seek God's will.

and yes, we disagree on the interpretation of john 4. Jesus tells her 'you've had five husbands, and the man you're with now is not your husband". whether the five were deceased or not, and i do not believe that to be the case (but i'll concede that point), he is without a doubt telling her he knows her to be an adulterous or a fornicator, and that she can be forgiven.

[MrsSealedEternal]

i would not ask for you to go against your conscience. but perhaps rather than leaving her with the impression that she can never be forgiven, you might suggest that she seek God's will.

I fully believe her sin can be forgiven and am praying she seek God's will in her life. I don't see where I did otherwise. That was the purpose in sharing our study of the scriptures with her. She is going through much heartfelt turmoil now, so I pray she takes comfort in His mercy and forgiveness and grace, and from a purified heart, glorifies God with her life.

[MrsSealedEternal]

But the bottom line (and the good news)

[Smalcald]

Well I think these are interesting questions, I admit I don't have an answer for some of our complex modern situations we get ourselves into so right off the bat I will say I don't really know.

For example as a Christian in my case I know that divorce is not an option for me, regardless of how we feel toward one another. I also know that Christ does not promise us a spouse or happiness in this life or in marriage, in fact He promises us that indeed we may suffer and we must bear our cross. Many married people indeed are bearing this cross in loveless marriages. But Celibacy is not a curse, nor is being single a curse, Paul said indeed it was the best way for believer to serve the Lord, indeed it can be a freedom to serve only Christ.

However, what about those who had divorces before they were believers? What of them? How about those who have had divorce and remarried and then have come to Christ? Should they now leave their husband or wife? What damage would that do, does it seem in line with scripture? I think we need to really look at these cases individually with compassion and love, as Christ would have done.

I think the OP's question is not about forgiveness, I hope she knows that she is fully forgiven for anything which has happened to her or her marriage or if she committed adultery etc, as a believer I am sure she knows that she has total forgiveness in Christ. Although I have not committed adultery I have certainly committed sins no better or worse, and I know that my sins are totally covered.

The question is what does she do now? What advice does scripture give for her?

The bottom line is for all of our protestations, most Evangelicals in the US simply re-marry, that is the de-facto position in most of our churches, even if we like to blather on about how bad divorce is. So I hope the OP knows she is not alone, the fact she is actually wrestling with this issue show's that she is taking this seriously and the Holy Spirit is working in her, which is something many don't do, they just find a new spouse and get on with life.

[darski]

I found this site useful at one time. I am a widow so it was not for me but a friend found needed love, care and help here

http://www.divorcehope.com/divorcebookexcerpts.htm

[anitarose]

For those of you that have read my last msg posted regarding the way i was raised in a Pencostal church and then later in life began attending a Baptist church with my husband at the time ....hopefully knowing the background teachings i have had will explain why i am curious to know what other's believe here as far as if it's okay or not ok for someone to remarry after a divorce.

i do know according to God''s word that there are certain situations where it's allowed and where it's not.

Here is one way i was taught in a church that i attended many years ago:

His word states that if any man divorces his wife (except for fornication)[/i] and marry's another commits adultry. i have heard it explained that if two divorce because either one or the other has been unfaithful...that "act of unfaithfulness" in God's eye leaves both free to remarry due the sexual sin has broken the yoke between them and therefore it is okay if they divorce and remarry. But only in that situation. Otherwise, they are bound to the other until death separates them, whether they divorce or not. Mainly because that one act of joining their bodies to another ---other than their mate---- is the only grounds God will accept as reason to divorce and permits remarriage.

Yet i have also heard that remarriage is only permitted for the partner that was faithful, but the unfaithful partner is not permitted to remarry.

So is God's word clear on which party is permitted to remarry? Are both free to remarry because that one act of unfaithfulness severed that bond?

Just interested in getting more insight to this subject.

in Christ,

robin

Hey Robin...

I left my husband in January because he decided to finally come out of the closet after 14 years...he's gay and abusive...so I left. I sought my church for counseling on the subject...what they told me made me feel lots better...they said that if I sought a divorce they would support the decision because it would be consider a Biblical divorce and that I could remarry if I wanted to.

I still cannot afford a divorce (pray for me) but I know that if I meet THE ONE (well, other than Jesus, LOL) I could get married without a problem. Well, except for not being divorced, LOL.

Anita

[Guest drbelitz]

The fact that your husband, who has issues as I did, as I am an ex homosexual, has decided to take his early childhood abuse and sexual addiction out into what the world calls "gay", does not mean you are divorcing him in the sight of God.

It is impossible to divorce someone that God has bound together as one.

You can seperate, and you can even get a civil divorce to protect your name etc, but you are married for life, until the death of one of you.

No one taught what your church is teaching until after King Henry VIII. no one.

that over 15 centuries of Christian history that NEVER interpreted these verses that way, but they were all in one accord just as scripture states.

[anitarose]

The fact that your husband, who has issues as I did, as I am an ex homosexual, has decided to take his early childhood abuse and sexual addiction out into what the world calls "gay", does not mean you are divorcing him in the sight of God.

It is impossible to divorce someone that God has bound together as one.

You can seperate, and you can even get a civil divorce to protect your name etc, but you are married for life, until the death of one of you.

No one taught what your church is teaching until after King Henry VIII. no one.

that over 15 centuries of Christian history that NEVER interpreted these verses that way, but they were all in one accord just as scripture states.

First off, may I ask who you are responding to? If it is me, I need to tell you a few more things.

My husband deceived me into marrying him by saying he was a Christian. I don't know his heart but the Scriptures say "by their fruit you will know them" and Jim had no fruit whatsoever. He taught Sunday school, was a deacon in the church, but after we got married I found out because the police wanted to question him because they were thinking about charging him with statutory rape of a 16 year old.

I was shocked and hurt. I discovered that I didn't know this man I married. But, I didn't believe in divorce so I felt it was God's will I stay with him. It got worse--a lot worse. I would go to work and Jim would go find a gay bar to hang out in. Or he would purchase a gay porno magazine. I know about those---I found one in the rafters of the garage one time.

When we got to Florida he got worse and worse. We were selling flowers in the bars and he got me selling in the bars he hung out in. Big mistake because that's when I discovered his infidelity. His "buddies" sold him out to me because they liked me and didn't like what he was doing behind my back. That is when I made the decision to leave him.

Believe me, I don't think God bound us together as one. You cannot be bound with an unbeliever. So that is why my church said that it is considered a Biblical divorce.

So. Now what do you say?

Anita

(I hate bearing all my dirty laundry in public so forgive me if you all are offended by this)