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Posted

somedays happy, somedays not.

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Posted

Some of you may have heard my mention of struggeling with chronic depression since practically as long as I can remember.

A few weeks ago, I was contemplating some of the pain in my life, and suddenly the Lord began speaking to me. I didn't realize it was Him speaking at the time, but as revelation came to my heart I realized it came from Him. I felt the urge to write it down. I didn't know where I was going with this, but after I wrote the revelation, the conclusion came forth in me.

This is a copy of what I wrote:

********************************************************************************

*************************************

Tonight while my mind was wandering through memories, as it often does when not occupied by something else, it fell upon memories that reminded me of how I seem to always miss out on things


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Posted

Thank you, Neb; that was truly amazing and wonderful! :noidea: God bless you! :thumbsup:


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Posted
It seems our greatest love for the Lord comes from having received His love after we have fallen. And I know that my greatest, most meaningful times of worship come when I worship Him amidst my pain.

Yes absolutely, nebula. "Thy will be done" can be the hardest words in the world to say. It's painful to go through some of the things we do, but ohhh the fruit thereof.

God burns out the dross in order to bring forth the gold. He is a consuming fire.


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Posted

Thank you for that, Neb. A hurt can't be healed unless it's first felt. God is amazing.


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Posted

When I was younger I always thought that if I didn't have things, didn't do things, didn't achieve goals, earn lots of money etc. etc. I would be really unhappy and my life would be incomplete.

But now I have realised that "at the end of the day" very little really matters, and I am pretty much content with my life. My husband is very materialistic and says things like "if I hadn't decided to go into business for myself in 1996, we'd have a lot more ....." and I just say to him now "so what! It was a good experience for us both" and he just doesn't get it.

I have been far from thoughtful in my life and have regularly made wrong decisions and gone down wrong roads. However, when I think about it the Lord has always been there picking me up and setting me in the right direction again. When I realise all the stupid risks I have taken in my life that have turned out not to be anywhere near as bad as they could have been I am extremely grateful that God has been there helping me out and averting disaster. I now know that it is God who was responsible for providing me and my husband and son with a place to live and work for all of us, when we made a series of bad decisions and ended up with nothing.

We were even able to buy another house because my husband got a job with a company who provided a house with very cheap rent which tided us over until we could get back on our feet again.

I am grateful that God has given me, at the age of 51, the strength to work shift hours and overtime when I thought I would never be able to again after I let my own car run over me because I didn't apply the handbrake properly.

I am grateful to God because I have now realised that life is not about what JUST I want but there are far more important things than me taking snapshots of the painted desert (or something like that).

I just have one regret though. I had always wanted to have five or six children and I only had two. My husband really only wanted one, and after our daughter was born he would have been happy to "call it quits", but I talked him into a "compromise". But now, I'm thinking a "compromise" would have been three or four and if I'd "stuck to my guns" they would all be grown up by now.

Posted
When I was younger I always thought that if I didn't have things, didn't do things, didn't achieve goals, earn lots of money etc. etc. I would be really unhappy and my life would be incomplete.

But now I have realised that "at the end of the day" very little really matters, and I am pretty much content with my life. My husband is very materialistic and says things like "if I hadn't decided to go into business for myself in 1996, we'd have a lot more ....." and I just say to him now "so what! It was a good experience for us both" and he just doesn't get it.

I have been far from thoughtful in my life and have regularly made wrong decisions and gone down wrong roads. However, when I think about it the Lord has always been there picking me up and setting me in the right direction again. When I realise all the stupid risks I have taken in my life that have turned out not to be anywhere near as bad as they could have been I am extremely grateful that God has been there helping me out and averting disaster. I now know that it is God who was responsible for providing me and my husband and son with a place to live and work for all of us, when we made a series of bad decisions and ended up with nothing.

We were even able to buy another house because my husband got a job with a company who provided a house with very cheap rent which tided us over until we could get back on our feet again.

I am grateful that God has given me, at the age of 51, the strength to work shift hours and overtime when I thought I would never be able to again after I let my own car run over me because I didn't apply the handbrake properly.

I am grateful to God because I have now realised that life is not about what JUST I want but there are far more important things than me taking snapshots of the painted desert (or something like that).

I just have one regret though. I had always wanted to have five or six children and I only had two. My husband really only wanted one, and after our daughter was born he would have been happy to "call it quits", but I talked him into a "compromise". But now, I'm thinking a "compromise" would have been three or four and if I'd "stuck to my guns" they would all be grown up by now.

:noidea:


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Posted
I love where I live, except for the 15 year old, all my kids are grown and at least for now living on their own happily establishing their own lives. I finally get to take a deep breath and relax a couple of times a day. :24: I am even considering at 46 years old going back to school like I have always wanted to. :blink: Tell me I'm not to old!!!!! :noidea:

I like where I am at right now. This past year was pretty rough financially, and with my husband dealing with his pain as he tries to get over his accident. We still haven't gotten to the top of the mountains we have been struggling up so long, but I believe it won't be long now that with God's continued grace we will be able to stand on the peak. Then all of Gods plans will all be perfectly clear.

You know Karen I am 46 and considering going back to school also, tell me also that I am not too old, that it can work for me as a single mom with two teenage sons.......... I need to get a scholorship to be able to go. Is all this even possible for me, just a pipe dream? I do wonder.............. and ask God to intervene,

about being happy, there is a difference between joy and happiness, and in the "reality" of life, happiness can try to alude us all. Ronald I understand the pain that comes with divorce and I am grateful that it was a clear rescue from God, I have been discovering who I really am as a person, not just someone's wife. But there is pain and change, and God is able to see us through, to a place of rest................... I count on Him, sometimes it is all that I am able to do.

Bethany

Guest lovinghim4ever
Posted
somedays happy, somedays not.

SAPPY!

:noidea:

Guest lovinghim4ever
Posted

But, on a serious note . . .

This is a great thread and has certainly given me much to contemplate.

I think I'll start a personal study on this subject.

Thanks for posting!

:noidea::24::blink:

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