Senior Moments

[sweetycakes]

I've no idea what you're all talking about

That's my story.

And I'm sticking to it!

[ladypeartree]

my forgettings getting better

its my remebering thats broke

my hearing must be getting worse

I just cant see the joke

I know I do remember

just cant remember what

and if this life is just a test

I guess I'd better swot

if only I could remember

or forget what I didnt know

it really isnt all my fault

my age is starting to show

[ladypeartree]

I just came across this "Senility Prayer"

God, grant me the senility

To forget the people

I never liked anyway,

The good fortune

To run into the ones I do,

And the eyesight

To tell the difference.

Love this one thanks Lass

[shazza]

You people are sooooooo funny

Where am I again??

[sweetycakes]

This reminds me of the three sisters:

Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs "Was I getting in or out of the bath?".

The 94 year old yells back "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says "I sure hope I never get that forgetful". She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells: "I'll come up and help you both as soon as I see who's at the door".

[MrLuke]

This reminds me of the three sisters:

Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs "Was I getting in or out of the bath?".

The 94 year old yells back "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says "I sure hope I never get that forgetful". She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells: "I'll come up and help you both as soon as I see who's at the door".

Haha I like that! And that Senility prayer in the other posts above! Good stuff!

I'm just turning 22 tomorrow and already I'm losing my memory!

I think it's something they put in the water..

[Marnie]

Yeah, I had a senior moment. Let's see...

Umm, no, wait, let me think. I forget exactly what happened, but it was Thursday. No, it could have been Friday. Yes, it was Tuesday. I am sure it was Tuesday. What happened was, on Tuesday, I think, was this....

[quieth3art]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN...

- Your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.

- You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

- Your spouse says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

- When you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

- You and your teeth don't sleep together.

- Your back goes out, but you stay home.

- Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

- Happy hour is a nap.

- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

- The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.

- You look for your glasses for a half an hour, and then find that they were on your head all the time.

- You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.

- You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.

- You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

- Things you buy now won't wear out.

- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

- You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya."

- Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

- You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."

- You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

- You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.

- You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.

- The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.

- The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.

- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

- Neighbors borrow your tools.

- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

- You have a dream about prunes.

- You send money to PBS.

- You wear black socks with sandals.

- You know what the word "equity" means.

- Your ears are hairier than your head.

- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

- You got cable for the weather channel.

- You can go bowling without drinking.

- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.

- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

- Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.

- Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.

- You look forward to a dull evening.

- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

- You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

- You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.

- You don't remember being absent minded.

[Guest Biblicist]

This reminds me of the three sisters:

Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs "Was I getting in or out of the bath?".

The 94 year old yells back "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says "I sure hope I never get that forgetful". She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells: "I'll come up and help you both as soon as I see who's at the door".

Hey that's me and my two sisters!!

We wanted to get my aging aunt a t-shirt that said "Been there, done that, remember it all wrong!"

I think it's time to get me a t-shirt like that.

[sweetycakes]