how to do you tell someone politely

[kittylover0991]

I guess the topic title kind of explains it, but to put it simply, I"m tired of people telling me I am going to change my mind on various theological or even philisophical issues... How do you tell a lost person, and even a Christian, politely and respectfully you are not going to change?

For instance, I was having a discussion with someone about the different versiosn of the bible... I had just taken a class on it, and she finally resorted to that I am such and such an age, and that I shoudl give it ... 'ten years" and I'll "come to realize that you can use other versions of the bible and just ask the Holy Spirit for guidance". For this thread, I am not asking people's beliefs on matters such as different versions of the bible, but how do I tell someone I"m having a discussion with that I am not going to change from what I know is the truth, to something that I know is not. What I want to tell someone is that I am not going to fall so far away from God that I'll accept that adultery is okay, or that it is okay or steal, or that I can use other versions of the bible.

I refuse to change from Baptist to anything else because I know it is right and want nothing to do with going to a church of a different denomination.. I have done that a couple times and was miserable... I need to find out how to tell someone politely (lost or saved) that I am not going to change my beliefs becuase I know it is right.. they say I"m young, well.. i've been on some form of a medium sized road (not quite a long one, but a road for sure)... Why shoudl I change from the way I have been raised in church? My dad parents aren't forcing me to do anything with religion, in fact... they basically want nothing to do with religion or God...

I refuse to accept what I know to be wrong, as right.... How do you tell someone that without offending them? If I say I won't change becuae I know it's wrong.. they'll say "Oh, you're still young. Give it some time. I used to think the same way you did. Give it say 10 years." I want to tell them I hope I never fall so far away from God that I such a thing! But I need nicer terms. Any ideas?

Crystal

[sweetycakes]

Youth is not always an indication of stupidity.

Take King David, or Joseph, for example.

Sometimes it is the 'children' in our midst who have a clearer insight into what's right and what's wrong.

When people have become worldly-wise, they are often set in their ways, and blinded to the important things.

[Zceiv]

tell them from everything you read you can see no error in your beleif's.

althou i don't beleive you sould turn do such topic's cause if you know what you beleive is true it will only strengthen your beleif.

[forrestkc]

A closed mind is not a virtue. In fact, it is a very poor quality for one to possess.

You mentioned Adultery and Stealing. No one of conscience, regardless of their religious beliefs or where they are from, believes that stealing or adultery are not wrong. Those are not just Christian sins, they are considered universally wrong. If you were raised Hindu, you would think that stealing and adultery were wrong.

There is nothing wrong with being solid in ones conviction. Notions of right or wrong do not change. However, you should have a closed mind in life. It is just a poor quality to have.

[Floatingaxe]

Since when is using other good versions of the Bible to be lumped in with accepting corruption of morals? Now that is bothersome! Sheesh...some people in this world don't even have ONE version to read! We are so blessed by God to have choices!

I would say that maybe you need to give the world a few turns and you just may change your mind about a few things. It's called maturity in Christ.

If you really want to respond, then say, "You may be right. I may have a change of heart about these things one day. I will let you know if I do." It is polite and it gives you room to actually not have to eat your words later!

[nebula]

Although it is true that in the upcoming years, your brain is going to further develop and enable you to evaluate things in ways you have not before, and given the proper exposure you will be given the chance to develop these skills (this is basic psychiatry of brain development I am referring to - unfortunately, I forgot what this stage is called), and chances are good that your beliefs will find themselves being molded and re-molded -

That is no guarantee that any particular beliefs are going to change.

For instance, there are beliefs I had grown up believing were true, yet looking deeper into issues and facing circumstances and using different reasoning and analytical skills and what-not, my beliefs have changed in some manner, shape or form.

Yet at the same time, I have several beliefs that remain unchanged.

Then there are those beliefs I altered, but then later came back to my original belief on.

So, basically it is true that your beliefs will most likely go through some shifting in the next ten years. But for someone to claim changes to any particular beliefs is groundless.

What he/she/they are doing with such a statement is to try to win an argument they are not gaining ground on. It makes them feel victorious when they are not.

So, you could acknowledge the reshaping of your beliefs in the upcoming years, but challenge them to prove that your particular belief on this particular matter will be affected. Unless they are God, they can't make such a claim. Maybe you can ask if every one of their beliefs changed since high school.

I don't know if that helps or not, but I hope I gave you something you might be able to work with.

[Joshua-777]

What version of bible do you use? just wondering, all though I disagree with alot of things you said, the best advice I can give is be respectful of others beliefe, listen more than talk. What I've noticed is as I grow in the Lord, the Lord leads me, some opinions have changed, some havn't, I concider myself any denomination, because The spirit works through both. One of the biggest things I've learned is that the Spirit living in us is stronger than we can comprehend, and he will lead and guide our heart, we are not near perfect, and our opinions will chance as we grow in the Lord, a few verses that might be helpful.

1st corinthians 12:2-4

2 You know that you were Gentiles, carried away to these dumb idols, however you were led. 3 Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed, and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit.

4 There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord 6 And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all.

This verse I feel is very important, the Spirit works through each denomination who exalts Jesus as Lord, and activities that exalt Jesus as Lord, and is honorable to him.

also about being grounded in your own opinion

romans 12:16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

It is so easy to confuse our opinions with Gods opinions, Satan is a deciever, and he's had quite some time to practive confusing us with this, That is why it is important to show love, my advice would be to listen, and respect what they believe, it's all about the love of Christ, is somthing the bible says is sin, yes, make it known that that is sin, and stand righteous, talk to them, but if it's somthing like versions of the bible, or denominations, remember, we limit growing by our pride, and our own opinions, if someone choses to read another version, that is there choice, I read the NKJV, KJV, and the ESV, because I prefer literal translations, and don't feel comfortable with thought for thought, but if someone uses another version, that is good for them, if they are a weaker christian, the Lord will use it. When I first came to the Lord I read the NLT, it was majorly simplified, and I grew in the Lord drasticly, now that I am a little more mature, I prefer more literal translations. That is my experience with versions,

well anyways, the best thing is pray about it, and listen, I realized I can't be a true witness without listening first. That is a very important impact on who we are witnessing to, or edifying.

Peace and blessings in Christ.

[stafy]

I guess the topic title kind of explains it, but to put it simply, I"m tired of people telling me I am going to change my mind on various theological or even philisophical issues... How do you tell a lost person, and even a Christian, politely and respectfully you are not going to change?

For instance, I was having a discussion with someone about the different versiosn of the bible... I had just taken a class on it, and she finally resorted to that I am such and such an age, and that I shoudl give it ... 'ten years" and I'll "come to realize that you can use other versions of the bible and just ask the Holy Spirit for guidance". For this thread, I am not asking people's beliefs on matters such as different versions of the bible, but how do I tell someone I"m having a discussion with that I am not going to change from what I know is the truth, to something that I know is not. What I want to tell someone is that I am not going to fall so far away from God that I'll accept that adultery is okay, or that it is okay or steal, or that I can use other versions of the bible.

I refuse to change from Baptist to anything else because I know it is right and want nothing to do with going to a church of a different denomination.. I have done that a couple times and was miserable... I need to find out how to tell someone politely (lost or saved) that I am not going to change my beliefs becuase I know it is right.. they say I"m young, well.. i've been on some form of a medium sized road (not quite a long one, but a road for sure)... Why shoudl I change from the way I have been raised in church? My dad parents aren't forcing me to do anything with religion, in fact... they basically want nothing to do with religion or God...

I refuse to accept what I know to be wrong, as right.... How do you tell someone that without offending them? If I say I won't change becuae I know it's wrong.. they'll say "Oh, you're still young. Give it some time. I used to think the same way you did. Give it say 10 years." I want to tell them I hope I never fall so far away from God that I such a thing! But I need nicer terms. Any ideas?

Crystal

Dear crystal, please don't get offended at this. but you are the one with te problem. I know no amount of talk will change your position so i'll only post an ntelligent reply. Only christ can wake yu up and change you mindset. but here is the fault your saying that adultry and stealing and reading another version of the bible as all being sin. thats just stupid sorry. Your letter makes no sence to read and clearly shows you have attitude problems which also show your not walking in the love of christ yet with this plank in your eye your trying to say there is a speck in someone eles, perhaps thier speck, is is gods way of telling you that what you re really seeing is the refelction of your own plank. In short leave them along.

[Guest pixy]

Without debating or getting into any of the "sub-topics" here... This is what I think...

Tactfulness is a skill that some people just seem to have, that others develop as they age, and that some never develop... ! LOL For me, tactfulness in the area of discussing beliefs, usually only comes when I pray over it, and pray for the other person. I ask God to give me the words, and if I'm listening, I hear them...

I think that telling someone you're never going to change your opinions is generally not a wise thing to do. Of course, when it comes to the basic beliefs surrounding salvation, you want to be firm about your stand. As others have said here though, your opinions may change on certain things as you get older. Life, and your relationship with God, will mold you and change your thinking on many, many things as you get older.

Also, telling someone that you will never change your mind can come off as argumentative, stubborn, and closed-minded. Although that may not be your intention, that is likely what the other person will hear in your words. When you're talking about the Lord and related subjects, it is sometimes useful to refrain from making "I" statements. Don't say "I think;" say: "The Bible says..." or "I was praying earlier and God really spoke to me and said..."

Not only will people be more receptive when you point to the Lord, but it also lends some support to your beliefs and your current stand. Share your heart, not your pride.

[Guest Biblicist]

Kitty,

When I was your age I had the same strong convictions you do. Not a single person on the earth could sway my mind one way or the other, I just knew I was right. As I got older though, I did change my views. Not completely, and not everything, but as I have grown and matured in Christ He has shown me some truths that I did not realize before. Many things have been reconfirmed.

From some of your other responses I have read I notice that you are so much more spiritually mature than I was at your age. You do have some growing up to do but I think you should stand firm in your beliefs and don't let anyone influence you. Let the Lord lead you in your journey to spiritual maturity. Listen to those who are spiritually mature, pastors, teachers and the like, but always measure their teachings against the Word of God. 1 Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. You should read the rest of what Paul said to Timothy, he gave him some wonderful advise.

I would suggest that you tell people that you daily pray that the Lord will help you spiritually mature so you grow closer to Him, not further away. Just the fact that you are asking how to deal with people kindly who do not agree with you shows a level of maturity that is rare. Don't let what people say or think bother you. My pastor likes to say, "When I leave a conversation, I am always thankful for the things I didn't say." Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth, keep watch at the door of my lips. Sometimes the best answer is no answer. Some people are just bound to get offended, don't let that take your eyes off the prize.

Keep it up GIRL!

Bib