My Pastor Had an Affair

[ayin jade]

Preachers are to be above reproach, according to the scriptural qualifications for being a pastor. I have encountered a couple of pastors who were having affairs, or obsessed with a married woman, and saw no reason to step down (you mean give up my job?) and saw no reason to stop the affair. I fear for their flocks. When the leader is that corrupt, that he has unrepentent sin and will not change, doesnt even have the heart to change, can he effectively lead?

[Guest]

Preachers are to be above reproach, according to the scriptural qualifications for being a pastor. I have encountered a couple of pastors who were having affairs, or obsessed with a married woman, and saw no reason to step down (you mean give up my job?) and saw no reason to stop the affair. I fear for their flocks. When the leader is that corrupt, that he has unrepentent sin and will not change, doesnt even have the heart to change, can he effectively lead?

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come."

"For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,"

"Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,"

"Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;"

"Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away."

"For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,"

(2 Timothy 2:1-6)

[eric]

It is bad news when such things happen and as a previous poster remarked, it affects people all over. It not only affects the christians of that community, but it fuels the fires of the skeptics. the heretics and the atheists and brings the whole of christianity into disrepute.

We have been warned time and again, as bro Frezno pointed out from scripture,. not to be drawn by wolves in sheep's clothing. No one is infallible in this fallen world, but I must say this, A pastor or preist or vicar, must know the bible, or they would not be in that position, so with that in mind, they must know when they are being tempted and if they are being honest with the flock they are serving, they should step down, before they engage into clandestine meetings, for the sake of the *church* and the very object of what she stands for.

We are all subject to fall into temptation, all of us, and sometimes we don't look far enough ahead, to see who we are bringing down with us when we fall, and his partner in ths affair is just as guilty, as is anyone, that knew it was going on and kept quiet about it until it was made public. Where were his friends? Why didn't someone counsel him or chasten him. Everyone who knew about it is just as guilty, by association. We should all pray for God's mercy on him.

[Guest lnj]

Where were his friends? Why didn't someone counsel him or chasten him. Everyone who knew about it is just as guilty, by association. We should all pray for God's mercy on him.

So true Eric. Wise words again.

[irishcowboy]

Sexual misconduct. One of the most devastating thing that can happen to a church is for one of its leaders (minister, youth minister, elder, pastor) to get caught in a sexual relationship outside his marriage. When this does take place churches feel betrayed, victims/survivors are often misunderstood and the families of all involved suffer greatly.

No one likes to talk about it, but it needs to be addressed.

If you think it couldn't happen in your church, ask the congregation at Westminster Presbyterian in Minneapolis. Their senior and associate ministers both had sexual affairs. Both were married. Sooner or later every church may have to deal with someone in leadership who falls into sin and has an extramarital affair.

Who gets hurt when this happens?

* God

* The person the minister is involved with

* The minister

* The families of both parties

* The minister's wife

* The other person's spouse

* The minister's children

* The other person's children

* The church

* Our testimony & witness for Christ

* Our faith & trust

So What are the Issues to we Have to Deal With?

What Is the Church to do?

What's the Preacher/ Pastor/ Leader to do?

The rest of my post is on my blog this morning. I hope you'll swing by and tell me if you agree or not here on Worthy Boards.

(click above of see signature)

Blessings

if the stats hold true, about 25 - 33 % of the clergy have had an affair or have committed adultry in one way, shape or other.... an affair does not mean they have been totally intimate, but that they have strayed from their first love......

being we are pinging on the clergy, how about the laymen of the church, or just the general congregation...

the stats for them are even higher.... about 66 - 75 % have in the last year read a porn book and most of these have been to internet porn sites.... about half are actively seeking such things.....

startling.....

it is easy to look at the other person......

like when Christ was confronted by the leaders about the woman that was caught in adultry, she was brought before him.... but where was the man/men???? easy to point fingers..... Christ started writing in the dust..... what was he writing???? i believe it was the names of the men that were standing there that had been in an adultress relation with this woman.....

the pastors/ clergy need our constant prayers, for strength, comfort, help, protection and many many other areas.......

you will find that a pastor that travels with another, like in pairs (twos) there will be less of this taking place..

this is one reason we are to work in pairs... teams so to speak.... to keep watch..... to keep each other on track while working......

many churches i know now, have windows on the pastors door and or even windows that other church staff members can help keep an eye while in conference......

the confidentiallity of the persons visit is still private, and what they speak about is also, but there is a level of protection for the pastor as well as the person in conference.

pastors are people too.... their sin(s) have been laid upon the cross as well as ours.....

when a brother stumbles, we need to be there to pick him up and help dust him off so that he can carry on with the work of the Lord..... if we do not do this, we will be allowing satan to have a foot hold in that persons life...... i believe we will be held accountable for what we do and do not do for our pastors.....

mike

[Eliyahuw]

when a brother stumbles, we need to be there to pick him up and help dust him off so that he can carry on with the work of the Lord..... if we do not do this, we will be allowing satan to have a foot hold in that persons life...... i believe we will be held accountable for what we do and do not do for our pastors.....

mike

I have to say that I thank God he's the one who is going to be the one to judge my actions as a christian. If it were left up to the majority of christians these days, they would be stoking up the coal fire

[eric]

What you say is true, Mike, but a pastor is the role model and supposed to set an example. so what I am saying, affairs have a starting point and if you are a member of the congregation and get caught out the rest of the members can only gossip about it, without it disturbing the decorum of the church, and he/she can blushingly leave. Pastors, on the other hand have responsibilities and as affairs are rarely spontaneous, a pastor must realise his romantic emotions are getting the better of him so he must either resign or nip it in the bud, for the sake of the the ministry as a whole (the church) as well as the community.

Christianity, in general, is getting enough bad publicity through the media and other channels and the church is getting a beating from outside without without it crumblig from the inside. It gives the enemy more ammo to fire at us.

Hey, I'm sorry for the man, as no man is infallible, but he blundered and now he is back to square one and now, with some help from his friends, it's up to God, to judge his future.

[salos]

Hebrews 12 talks about people who refuse to take the Lord's discipline seriously and go on to pollute other people's lives. So in one respect a pastor's sin can be worse than another man's because of his influence on others. Maintaining a pure walk in this world is hard for all of us, and we don't need our (supposed) leaders to do evil things.