Never get a consistant answer

[MK202002]

To make things simple, I'll come right out with my personal business. And I promise not to hold a grudge if one of you says something insensitive but 'true'. Tell me what you think:

The deal: Three years ago before he was saved my husband committed a couple of crimes. After he was arrested, he genuinly came to Christ (he did, it stuck).

One year ago they finally got around to sentancing him. Make a long story short, he has four more years to go till he comes home.

The damage: I thought he was going to get off with probation. Not because he was good, not because he didn't deserve it, but because I believed God was telling me he would. So this shattering of nievity has caused me to attempt to synthesize everthing back together, and the devil's got his claws in the job.

Stumbling blocks:

*The 'authrity teaching' floating around in my church. We are to take authority and abolish all demonic forces. This put 100% of the responsibility on us. If something bad happens, we should have been able to beat it, we;ve been given the power, etc.

*The 'trials and tribulations' teaching. God puts us through trials for our strenthening. Bad things happen for a believer's good.

* The "God's discipline' or 'natural consequenses' idea. ok, he is our father, but how do we know what he wants us to learn?

So those are three schools of thought I encounter, either in myself or in others when I try to process through this and understand it. They affect how a person views tragetys in others and in themselfves. They are very important. And I am freaking out because I have no idea how God wants me to take this!!

Do I think that I am so perfect as to never have hard times in my life? No, of course not.

Yes, I know there are people out there who suffer so much more than I ever dreamed, and I respect that, but it doesn't answer my questions, only enhance them.

And please don't simplify the dilemma to 'why do bad things happen to me'. I don't care if they happen, I just need to know how to respond.

[Iryssa]

The right way to respond? Tricky...I mean, it's not hard to know...it's just that it's easier said than done.

Pray this:

"God, this situation is too hard for me, so I'm trusting in YOUR strength--not my own--to get me through this. Help me get through it, God. I don't understand why I'm going through it, and I pray that, in time, You will reveal it to me..."

Yes, you are likely to learn something from this, and to be stronger for it in the end...as to the "why?" I don't think any of us can say with 100% accuracy why God allows us to go through these things. What I know is what the scripture tells us:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " Romans 8:28

and later

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade

[wordsower]

Sweetie,

Remember in one of the gospels(I should have looked it up) when the disciples were asking Jesus what sin the parents had committed of this certain young man to make him the way he was? (I think it was lame or blind, or both, maybe mute---anyway, he wasn't right)

Jesus answered them and said, it had nothing to do with what his parents did. The rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous alike.

Sometime circumstances are what they are because of choices we make, or because there is evil in the world. Satan is the ruler of this world, don't forget that.

The disciples were sawn in two, crucified, boiled in oil, stoned............these are the disciples!

We aren't promised an easy ride. We ARE promised that God will work it all out for good.

Could be that your husband is used of God mightily in jail. I'm in a Celebrate Recovery program at church and we recently had a man come in after spending a lot of years in jail and his testimony was awesome.

I pray the very best for you. Keep running the race and in the grand scheme of things this life will be the vapor that it is in perspective.

Blessings!

[other one]

Mk, I'm having trouble really understanding what you really need..... I'm not sure if what you really need is what you are asking..... Let me share something and see if it fits into your situation in any way.

About 20 years ago my wife came down with her first serious episode of Multiple Sclerosis. It really scared me half to death, for it really looked like she had a brain tumor and the symptoms she was having it would have been not operable and most likely she would have died within 4 months.

I prayed and prayed over it and after all the tests and stuff showed she was bothered with M.S. and all of a sudden we had a different set of problems to deal with. I prayed and prayed and talked with the Lord about it knowing full well that he could heal her in an instant but for some reason he was not doing it...... after much time I got more and more upset with God for it would be nothing for His healing power and still it didn't come..... over and over I got the message that she would be whole and active, but he would not completely heal her..... and I didn't understand....

All that to let you know sort of how I got to the point one day that I was just fed up with Him treating my lovely wife that way and I truly got in His face over it....... stood up in the back of my truck and shook my fist in His face and demanded to know why........ not once but several times each time getting more and more angry.... Well I can tell you that I was ready for just about anything except what happened..... Bolt of lightening to fry me to a crisp, or just strike me down... it didn't matter just so he did something so I could know that He was aware of my plight..... well I was not even loosely prepared for what happened, for in a voice so soft.... so kind.... so loving and so real that I don't know if I heard it with my ears or just my head He said, " Sam, much as you care.... it's really none of your business. It's between Me and her."

End of conversation..... I still don't know, but it's OK.

So, think about it and maybe it has more to do with your husband than it does you. I knew it was possible for Him to ZAP her and all would be as it was........ but it changed our lives.... it really changed mine, and to my own shame it made me a better person. She is still active, but we can't do the long hiking trails, but she has become a very special teacher of young kids in our public schools. Her struggles have made a difference in many lives of people who have watched us grow..... and it has made our kids stronger people.

It is how we deal with the adversity that effects each of us, and as we go through life we don't really know who we effect that are just bystanders that we don't even notice.

I can't tell you why the Lord let you think that your husband would would get off lightly..... I don't think I'll get in his face over it if it's OK with you.... but think about what was happening and if your church is teaching something that isn't always reality.

*The 'authority teaching' floating around in my church. We are to take authority and abolish all demonic forces. This put 100% of the responsibility on us. If something bad happens, we should have been able to beat it, we;ve been given the power, etc.

I think I have a problem with this. I've been involved with demonic forces for a really long time, and can tell you that it is a very dangerous thing to teach everyone.

019Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" 20And He said to them, "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you. 21["But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."]

There are times when just exercising your voice at them doesn't work for they are not all the same.... sometimes it takes serious prayer and fasting..... and in those situations it usually doesn't happen overnight... Not too many of us are that prayed up all the time.

You may never know why the Lord let this happen, but after 20 years (like me) you may start to understand.... you may never know who your husband might help while he is in prison, and you really don't know yet when he might get out early.

So I would suggest that you spend a lot of time in prayer and if you are OK with it fasting helps me a lot to stay spiritually focesed...... remember there is a whole world out there watching how you deal with this adversity.... and that may well be why you're having to deal with it.

One last story about my grandmother...... she came down with that brain tumor that I thought my wife had, and it took the 4 months to take her life.... as she slowly fell apart and her body functions failed one at a time and she had to be in a total care nursing home one of the nurses overheard my mother one night ask why God would let something like this go on for grandma..... grandma was one of those Christians that books are written about.... kind, helpful, tolerant of everyone.... she took in family that everyone else had given up on and helped them to better lives.... all the things Jesus taught this woman lived her whole life....

Well this nurse quietly told my parents that the way that grandma was handling this last part of her life was a tremendous uplifting for everyone around her.... the nursing staff, the other patients and even people who were visiting the other patients would come by and visit with her and learn what it is to really follow Jesus. It may well be that she touched more people in that last three months that many of us will in a life time.... I understand she brought several people back into the fold that had drifted from following Jesus in their daily lives, but we will never know how many others.

So, maybe you sort of talked yourself into thinking that God would help, when it really not be best for someone in your life.... doesn't make it easier to take at first, especially being separated from your husband, but in another 20 years you may find that it made some really good things happen in those last 16 years.... just remember that He only knows what each of us really need to get us prepared for eternity.

Sam

[Matthitjah]

Beautiful brother Sam, absolutely beautiful and gracious answer.

[Scarletprayers]

Sam, that was about the most beautiful post, story............you name it, that I've ever read. And from the bottom of my heart I think you for sharing it.

[Smalcald]

Hi MK,

Well I think those doctrines are often inconsistent with each other.

But regardless in your situation I would simply pray and support your husband. It is difficult, but family support, regular correspondence, regular visits, make a huge difference.

I don't know obviously, nobody does but God, but it may be that he has a mission and a role to play in prison, and must be encouraged to walk that ministry.

[sheya joie]

If it's any help...

The Path Through the Valley.

[EricH]

To make things simple, I'll come right out with my personal business. And I promise not to hold a grudge if one of you says something insensitive but 'true'. Tell me what you think:

The deal: Three years ago before he was saved my husband committed a couple of crimes. After he was arrested, he genuinly came to Christ (he did, it stuck).

One year ago they finally got around to sentancing him. Make a long story short, he has four more years to go till he comes home.

The damage: I thought he was going to get off with probation. Not because he was good, not because he didn't deserve it, but because I believed God was telling me he would. So this shattering of nievity has caused me to attempt to synthesize everthing back together, and the devil's got his claws in the job.

Stumbling blocks:

*The 'authrity teaching' floating around in my church. We are to take authority and abolish all demonic forces. This put 100% of the responsibility on us. If something bad happens, we should have been able to beat it, we;ve been given the power, etc.

*The 'trials and tribulations' teaching. God puts us through trials for our strenthening. Bad things happen for a believer's good.

* The "God's discipline' or 'natural consequenses' idea. ok, he is our father, but how do we know what he wants us to learn?

So those are three schools of thought I encounter, either in myself or in others when I try to process through this and understand it. They affect how a person views tragetys in others and in themselfves. They are very important. And I am freaking out because I have no idea how God wants me to take this!!

Do I think that I am so perfect as to never have hard times in my life? No, of course not.

Yes, I know there are people out there who suffer so much more than I ever dreamed, and I respect that, but it doesn't answer my questions, only enhance them.

And please don't simplify the dilemma to 'why do bad things happen to me'. I don't care if they happen, I just need to know how to respond.

Let me recommend a book:

"How Long Oh Lord" by D.A. Carson. He covers all of these issues

[exrockstar]

To make things simple, I'll come right out with my personal business. And I promise not to hold a grudge if one of you says something insensitive but 'true'. Tell me what you think:

The deal: Three years ago before he was saved my husband committed a couple of crimes. After he was arrested, he genuinly came to Christ (he did, it stuck).

One year ago they finally got around to sentancing him. Make a long story short, he has four more years to go till he comes home.

The damage: I thought he was going to get off with probation. Not because he was good, not because he didn't deserve it, but because I believed God was telling me he would. So this shattering of nievity has caused me to attempt to synthesize everthing back together, and the devil's got his claws in the job.

Stumbling blocks:

*The 'authrity teaching' floating around in my church. We are to take authority and abolish all demonic forces. This put 100% of the responsibility on us. If something bad happens, we should have been able to beat it, we;ve been given the power, etc.

*The 'trials and tribulations' teaching. God puts us through trials for our strenthening. Bad things happen for a believer's good.

* The "God's discipline' or 'natural consequenses' idea. ok, he is our father, but how do we know what he wants us to learn?

So those are three schools of thought I encounter, either in myself or in others when I try to process through this and understand it. They affect how a person views tragetys in others and in themselfves. They are very important. And I am freaking out because I have no idea how God wants me to take this!!

Do I think that I am so perfect as to never have hard times in my life? No, of course not.

Yes, I know there are people out there who suffer so much more than I ever dreamed, and I respect that, but it doesn't answer my questions, only enhance them.

And please don't simplify the dilemma to 'why do bad things happen to me'. I don't care if they happen, I just need to know how to respond.

you may not what I like to say but the answer I give is the same dose that I take.

it's not personal.

first thing I see is that some Christians find a mate before both or one is lacking Christ in their life. Then when both are on the same path with Christ then some expect for all things previous to get done away with. It doesn't work like that.

If a crime was committed before then there is a price to pay.

If his sentencing is four more years then you have to accept that that's what God wants.

If this is a lot of stress for you to handle then you ask for strength and patience.

That is all you can do.

I was never the type to go blame the devil for many things because of what I concluded him to be. If I consider myself

a child of God then all good and bad, blessings and turmoil is because of God's will given for my strengthening. I also

believe that he lets me stumble and torture myself due to personal decisions I make in my life.

So if I was to answer your "how do i respond?"

Then I would say "prayer and patience."

Not a prayer asking "why?" Because we know "why."

It is more a prayer of acceptence and "give me strength."

May God bless you girl and hang in there. ... 3xR0c|<stAr

Edited April 25, 2007 by exrockstar