Is divorce ever permitable?

[eric]

Well Emmy and me have been married 48 years this coming May..

It was not a marriage made in heaven that's for sure, but because we both found the Lord about the same time it will be a marriage that ends in heaven.

Do you know that Solomon said it is better for a man to sleep on the roof than in a house wih a nagging wife.

Just thought I'd share that.

[Arthur Durnan]

Well. what precisely are we perusing here in these particular postings? To a large degree, the personal experiences of various kind folk, several of whom admit having made grievous errors in their choice of a life-partner. It's very interesting indeed that so many of us are quick to point out the absolute horrors of our life-partner in holy matrimony - but hardly ourselves! Why is that? We need to be reminded afresh that it takes TWO to tango, not just "the other person."

After we hear from each other & our personal life experiences involving alcohol, abuse, bad choice, adultery, whatever, it's of tremendous importance that we also hear what the Lord has stated in His Holy & settled Word of Truth. God says in Malachi that He "hates divorce." Plumb and plain. And the Lord Jesus Christ calls for continued faithfulness & loyalty in marriage, "let no man put asunder." Very straightforward.

Then He adds what is known as an "exception clause" in Matthew 19, "except it be for fornication." The Greek word is, as you know, the word "porneia," with reference to a continued unfaithfulness. Our word "prostitute" is rooted in the word "porneia." Most biblical commentators I read explain such as a life given over to unfaithfulness as that of a harlot.

The multiplicity of excuses offered today for marital break-up don't ring very true in the light of our Saviour's explicit sole exception. Biblical marriage is not ended over monetary dispute (altho that is a major cause of marital conflict), in-law interference, differences over the number of children & their upbringing, church choice, constant television football annoyances, intensity of certain friendships, or whatever. Far too often, these are but personal excuses for personal mistakes made in the first place. Long before individuals are united in Christian marriage, all these issues should have been resolved in joint Christian counselling sessions. Too many Christians today marry on the basis of personal wants & personal desires - and on a despicable "what-can-you-offer-to-me" basis instead of on "how-can-I-meet-your-needs?" Marriage is NOT a 50-50 proposition; it's a 100-to-zero compliance on both parts. Anything less can spell a living disaster if not sooner, then later.

The bottom line is that sinful men & women enter marriage with their own preconceived rules & expectations. "Civil RIGHTS" instead of "Civil Responsibilities." Marriage will work for them UNTIL THEY SEE FIT TO DISSOLVE IT. And both parties therefore live with that thot uppermost in mind. To so many of us today, divorce is a clear-cut OPTION whereas God declares He "hates" such. Divorce should NEVER be an option for the child of God. Stay single unless & until you can accommodate yourself to GOD'S crystal-clear & schoolroom-obvious marital principles of an equal yoke and a lifetime commitment. It begins at the beginning, not at the half-way mark: Spirit-filled Christian believers united in Christ & His Word - and in the hallmark of a mutual committed prayer-life via the power of the Blessed Holy Spirit - determined to walk with God in obedience and faith regardless of the circumstances.

When the Lord decides to forsake His blood-bought Church (with all its sin and shortcomings), only THEN may be the time to desert HIS holy principles. "It's ME, It's ME, It's ME, O Lord; Standing in the need of prayer. Not my brother, not my sister, but it's ME, O Lord, Standing in the need of prayer!" Thank You, Lord Jesus, for your ever-continuing love for us without hesitation!

http://arthurdurnan.freeyellow.com

[Guest SpiritedDefence]

Hey all, I'm pretty new around here, just logged on looking for answers... seems thats what most people are doing

Anyway, if the Bible says - "Matthew 5:32 - But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Well I guess we should take the verse as applying to men and women first of all even if its written from a very male point of view, but also ask what God means by marital unfaithfulness? A couple of, quite scary, people have said that this ONLY means an affair, but surely abuse of the covenant of marriage and being one flesh is just as much a reason? After all, you wouldn't mentally or physically abuse yourself, or even make yourself unhappy, so if this is happening then it sounds like unfaithfulness to marriage and the idea of being one flesh in the sight of God to me. So maybe there could be a lot of resaons for divorce - even things that might seem very small!

In Christ,

SpirtiedDefence

[Catsmeow]

Authur, as a man, I guess it's hard for you to understand what it's like to be married to an occultist who's into witchcraft and who beats his wife so badly she has to hide in shelters to protect herself and her children.

I guess it's too hard to comprehend that we all make some real bad calls when we're not Christians and we surely pay for those bad calls...including sexual immorality.

My big sin was I was lost without Christ and I married someone into the occult. He was extremely physically abusive and this was extremely dangerous for me and the children.

The bible says that if one converts and the other spouse doesn't and he still asks to divorce, the believer is no longer bound ...period.

When the man who used to POUND my face into the ground and kick me all over the floor said he was divorcing me, I didn't protest. If you've never been on the other end of abuse and been a punching bag, I guess it's hard for you to sympathize. Just believe me when I say, it's not fair to the wife or the children who witness this abuse.

I'm just glad God forgives ALL sin. Let him without sin cast the first stone. I'm sure glad Jesus said that because nobody would be fool enough to say he's never sinned.

It pretty legit to release a demoniac who beats his wife when he asks for a divorce. I had NO PROBLEM letting him leave. No sweat. I didn't leave; he did...but I have no grief over it either.

I rather like not having my face pounded into concrete. Thank you.

God is a the maker of every perfect union...and today I am married to a wonderful man. He is very good to me. I now know the joy of marriage..one which God has put together.

I wouldn't trade my husband for any man in the world...God has blessed me with the very best and I thank Him every day for my husband.

[angels4u]

Cat, in this situation I believe you did the right thing...

God gave you a way out of this marrige through your exhusband asking you to divorce him.

Nobody can live in a situation like that...you don't even want to live:)

Thank Him for giving you a husband who does care for you, can you think what would have happened now if you were still with him and being so sick?

It must have been so hard on your children seeing this all--how did they grew up ,are they all right ?

Cattty Patty God is looking after you girl!

Angels

[Arthur Durnan]

"As a man, one may not understand"? Hmm. As a woman too quite often. Many men batter women and deserve the fullest extent of the law. Quite a few women also assault their partners; in fact, the major female crime is that of murdering unborn infants in the womb. The point isn't gender; the point is what saith the Holy Scriptures? You haven't responded to the Apostle's marital principles I referred to, ie, monogamous, male-female, lifetime commitment. All marriages should see professional or spiritual counseling before being consummated. Was that particular man reported to authorities for assault? Was he arrested, charged, put on trial, found guilty and imprisoned for such heinous conduct? One bruise on either gender in my jurisdiction usually results in some prison time. No one should be on the receiving end of physical conflict, women, children or men. I'm sure you agree.

Whatever, I can certainly stand with the Apostle Paul also in 1 Corinthians 7 - the passage you brot up - when he discusses a Chrisian woman (Verse 13) who has an unbelieving husband who chooses to remain with her...his command is quite explicit. Then he continues in Verse 15 to the effect that "if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases..." I am, of course, not your judge (or anyone else's judge) for that matter, but I simply reiterate the Apostle's explicit declaration, inspired of God, that underscores the passage you, yourself, raised.

http://arthurdurnan.freeyellow.com

[Catsmeow]

God, as Angels said, gave me a way out. The "ex" didn't want to stay with me, he HATED Christians with a passion, and despised me all the more.

He was a violent man given to occultic practices and it's emotionally scarred myself and the kids. They've seen too many incidents of daddy beating mommie.

No, we're not alright. His violent episodes led to me running for my life many times. It happens all the time right here in America. That's why we have Women's Shelters.

Thank God for the shelters which provide us with a safe place to escape from violent men.

Today, I am with a man that GOD gave me and He orchestrated that union. We fuss at each other now and then but ultimately, I love my husband so much.

It's not perfect by any means. He'd spend all day at Home Depot if I'd let him, (LOL) but hey, that's all we have to deal with...minor issues.

I have a husband who, when I was sick, cared for me. I have a husband who's faithful to me. I have a husband who prays with me.

What I had before was someone I was "legally" married to but God never put that union together. Neither of us were saved then. I converted much later...and fortunately, that man decided he wanted to play around and be with other women.

I'm so glad I got out of that nightmare of a marriage. Now, I have a rich and happy life...with a man I cherish and honor. He's not perfect but he's the love of my life and I wouldn't want anyone else more.

I now have a happy life because God gave me a wonderful, loving husband who never raises a hand to me. He is my great joy and reward...and I thank God for him everyday.

[Guest shadow2b]

-The bible says that if one converts and the other spouse doesn't and he still asks to divorce, the believer is no longer bound ...period.

When the man who used to POUND my face into the ground and kick me all over the floor said he was divorcing me, I didn't protest. If you've never been on the other end of abuse and been a punching bag, I guess it's hard for you to sympathize. Just believe me when I say, it's not fair to the wife or the children who witness this abuse.

-ABSOLUTELY RIGHT CATS--IN my"OPINION-ONLY"even the NON-christian should NOT be required-

-or advised to STAY in a physically abusive marriage---I BELIEVE GOD has every man & woman

-picked out for one another,BEFORE they are even born...They would"FIT"together perfectly--

-mentally--emotionally-physically--They would #1--LOVE each other absolutely--unconditionally,

-#2--they would find out they liked the same types of music-houses--movies?over the years they

-would become "ONE" just as GOD stated in Genesis.....Where we humans mess up is NOT waiting

-for GOD to show us the ONE HE has chosen for us,but even christians RUSH into a marriage,that is

-NOT the "IDEAL"one chosen by the LORD---HE can tho in spite of the wrong choices & RUSHING

-into a marriage --BLESS that union,in spite of our errant choice...YOU absolutely did the RIGHT

-thing in allowing the marriage to be dissolved by the abusive man....wheeeeeewwwwww,so many

-women wait TOO long to leave that type of abusive relationship & wind up either physically

-maimed for life OR DEAD.....NOT very good choices at all----Patsy has been there--done that

-"suffered-that"--rather--like you----SO I understand "that"type of abuse--NOT-pretty-at all----

-fer-instance---My sister has a girlfriend that was in that kind of relationship & they were divorced

-later on but before the divorce they came to our house on the advice of my sister & we all had a

-very nice meeting & were praying over this couple--the husband specifically & he broke down in

-tears,cried out that GOD had called him when he was younger to be a minister--he walked away,

-turned his back on that call......WeLL anyhow several months later,after their divorce the guy

-married another girl & KILLED HER--wound up in the county jail charged with murder & we were

-involved in jail ministry at that time & WE went to his cell to talk to him--he turned his back to us &

-refused to talk---end of story--for us any how--he is in prison for life now----sad--tragic--it gets

-kinda scary when you come so close to those types of events & people that committ murder.......

[His son]

Well. what precisely are we perusing here in these particular postings? To a large degree, the personal experiences of various kind folk, several of whom admit having made grievous errors in their choice of a life-partner. It's very interesting indeed that so many of us are quick to point out the absolute horrors of our life-partner in holy matrimony - but hardly ourselves! Why is that? We need to be reminded afresh that it takes TWO to tango, not just "the other person."

After we hear from each other & our personal life experiences involving alcohol, abuse, bad choice, adultery, whatever, it's of tremendous importance that we also hear what the Lord has stated in His Holy & settled Word of Truth. God says in Malachi that He "hates divorce." Plumb and plain. And the Lord Jesus Christ calls for continued faithfulness & loyalty in marriage, "let no man put asunder." Very straightforward.

Then He adds what is known as an "exception clause" in Matthew 19, "except it be for fornication." The Greek word is, as you know, the word "porneia," with reference to a continued unfaithfulness. Our word "prostitute" is rooted in the word "porneia." Most biblical commentators I read explain such as a life given over to unfaithfulness as that of a harlot.

The multiplicity of excuses offered today for marital break-up don't ring very true in the light of our Saviour's explicit sole exception. Biblical marriage is not ended over monetary dispute (altho that is a major cause of marital conflict), in-law interference, differences over the number of children & their upbringing, church choice, constant television football annoyances, intensity of certain friendships, or whatever. Far too often, these are but personal excuses for personal mistakes made in the first place. Long before individuals are united in Christian marriage, all these issues should have been resolved in joint Christian counselling sessions. Too many Christians today marry on the basis of personal wants & personal desires - and on a despicable "what-can-you-offer-to-me" basis instead of on "how-can-I-meet-your-needs?" Marriage is NOT a 50-50 proposition; it's a 100-to-zero compliance on both parts. Anything less can spell a living disaster if not sooner, then later.

The bottom line is that sinful men & women enter marriage with their own preconceived rules & expectations. "Civil RIGHTS" instead of "Civil Responsibilities." Marriage will work for them UNTIL THEY SEE FIT TO DISSOLVE IT. And both parties therefore live with that thot uppermost in mind. To so many of us today, divorce is a clear-cut OPTION whereas God declares He "hates" such. Divorce should NEVER be an option for the child of God. Stay single unless & until you can accommodate yourself to GOD'S crystal-clear & schoolroom-obvious marital principles of an equal yoke and a lifetime commitment. It begins at the beginning, not at the half-way mark: Spirit-filled Christian believers united in Christ & His Word - and in the hallmark of a mutual committed prayer-life via the power of the Blessed Holy Spirit - determined to walk with God in obedience and faith regardless of the circumstances.

When the Lord decides to forsake His blood-bought Church (with all its sin and shortcomings), only THEN may be the time to desert HIS holy principles. "It's ME, It's ME, It's ME, O Lord; Standing in the need of prayer. Not my brother, not my sister, but it's ME, O Lord, Standing in the need of prayer!" Thank You, Lord Jesus, for your ever-continuing love for us without hesitation!

http://arthurdurnan.freeyellow.com

I'm sure glad God is still in the forgiveness business when one truly repents. And that it's not just one sin He hates. Our relationship with Him is likened to being married to Him, and how many of us were prepared to the point that we would do it right all the time before we accepted Him. He holds us responsible for what He knows that we fully understand about all the issues of life, and praise God not for what someone else knows, and understands. So the bottom line is that we each have to face Him in for our own individual choices in that situation.

[Guest dove2]

I can not see God wanting a woman to stay in a marriage where she is beaten daily, verbally abused and the husband holds the wife down for his brother to rape her. NO! This is not of God. God does not want us staying in that type of marriage. You can never convince me that I should have stayed in that type of marriage not in a million years. These are just a few of the things that happened to me. I was raised when you get married it is for good. Well that was bad advice. It is not good to lose one's hearing in an ear because they have been beaten or to lose the sense of smell because they have been beaten. You give me Bible scriputure that tells me that I should have stayed in such a marriage. I don't think you can give me scripture to my satisfaction.

I now have the most wonderful husband on the face of this earth. I was not saved and did not wait on the right man that God had for me. I would never have went through all the torture I did had I waited to marry Gary. Gary and I will be married 40 years in April and it is still pretty much a honeymoon between the two of us. We are one.

The things I told you are mild compared to what actually happened. This was before the husband could be arrested for beating his wife. He had to kill her before the cops would do anything to protect the wife. My dad asked the police one night when I was beat to a pulp what did the husband have to do for the cops to do anything to him, kill the wife? The cops admitted that it took a killing to do anything to the husband at that time. Give me scriputre and I will repent from getting that divorce. Oh and he was unfaithful to me. My heart was not hardened because of him being unfaithful, it was hardened because of the other things he did to me. Bad things much worse than I have already stated happened.